A/N – I'm so sorry for not updating like I used to. School is taking up most of my time right now and I've been super busy. D: … I promise to try and update at LEAST once a week. I might ask for a beta or something, just to have someone pitch me ideas and maybe update when I can't? Not sure though.

I sighed in frustration, trying to decide what I wanted and needed to do. Is creating a bond with Godric really the safest thing to do? I mean, I barely know the guy even though I still feel safe with him. I just don't want to get hurt mentally by him.

"Um… I'm honestly not sure what to say, Godric."

Godric gently placed his hands on top of my shoulders and looked me in the eyes. I couldn't help but to look back, though I knew I wasn't being compelled because he can't do that. A million more questions popped through my brain. I was determined to get them all answered, but I knew that now wasn't the time.

"You don't have to decide right this minute, Kat."

I nodded and sighed, before my brain started to kick into over gear. If Moncia had been drained by a vampire, would there be that much blood all over her? I remember exactly how much blood was covering her. Something just isn't adding up.

I sighed again and put my fingers on my temples before closing my eyes. I felt hands move mine out of the way and massage my temples. Truth be told, it felt nice. My headache was already starting to get dull. That's a first for me. My headaches normally get so bad that I cry before they go away.

"Thank you. You have no idea how good that feels right now."

I opened my eyes to see Godric's lips lightly twitching in amusement. It took me a second to realize the double meaning behind my words. If course it could also be taken in a sexual way. I smiled and rolled my eyes.

"You are a perv, Godric."

He chuckled and kissed my forehead before the door knocked. I raised my eyebrow. Who would that be? My question was answered as Godric went to open the door to reveal a bell hop boy. He carried in a tray and a true blood.

I had totally forgotten that I ordered me some pizza. As if right on cue, my stomach started to growl. I blushed and laughed lightly. My stomach seems to always growl really loud when it's quiet. Just like when I used to be in public school.

"Come on and eat, my dear."

I nodded and Gordric's words and sat down on the couch in front of the couch as the bell hop boy left. I never did like eating in front of everyone, so it was really awkward. I took tiny bites when Godric's attention was on drinking his true blood.

"You do not have to be embarrassed to eat, Katherine."

I smiled lightly, as if I were a kid getting caught for stealing a cookie before dinner. I set the pizza back down on the plate, feeling full now. Hmmm, that's weird. I guess I just lost my appetite.

"I'm just a little distracted, I guess."

Godric raised an eyebrow at me, obviously confused at my confession. I knew that was a signal for me to continue, so I did.

"I have so many questions but I'm not sure I want the answers to them. I mean, I never thought I'd be a mate or anything. I just feel so sure yet unsure about it, ya know? I've been through so much yet things keep getting thrown at me."

As I continued to talk, I felt some tears start to burn behind my eyes. I knew I shouldn't reveal so much about myself, because of how vulnerable it makes me feel, but the words kept stumbling out of my mouth. It's like I couldn't shut up.

"It seems like I haven't been through enough. My mom is dead. My dad is an alcoholic who has more than left me feeling abandoned and hurt. I'm so scared to get close to anyone. I have no more family left. Now my best friend is dead and I'm not sure why. I feel like all this is my fault. If I was never born none of this would have happened. I wish I was never put on this earth! Why do I get the shitty life? Why can't something good happen for a change? I just want my mom and best friend back. Please Godric. Tell me what to do? What did I do that was so bad? What did I do that was so terrible that I had to lose my mom and friend for it?"

As the tears started to fall, I swiped them away angrily. It seems like all I've been doing lately is crying and complaining. How am I going to find Monica's killer if I keep feeling sorry for myself? I need to pull myself together.

Godric put his blood down on the table and sat down beside me. He pulled me into his arms and rubbed his hands up and down my back in a soothing way. I seemed to fit in his arms perfectly. I rested my head on his shoulder as he pulled me across his lap.

"You have done nothing wrong, Katherine. You didn't deserve any of this, but don't you dare say you wish you were never put on this earth."

I pulled my tear stained face off his shoulder to look up at him. What does he mean that I shouldn't think that? I wish it all the time, yet here I am.

"I can't take it anymore. I feel so alone and I don't know what to do."

Godric moved his hands to cup my face. He kissed my forehead again before pulling away and putting his forehead on mine. I looked into his eyes, loving the color. He stared back into my blue eyes that probably looked all red and puffy now.

"You aren't alone, Katherine. You will never be alone. I'm here for you now, okay?"

He moved his thumb over my cheeks, getting the tears of him. For some reason, his words comforted me like a security blanket. It made me feel so safe and secure.

"Will you promise me that, Godric? Promise you'll always be there for me?"

Godric nodded and placed his lips over mine. I gently moved my lips in syn with his before pulling away. His lips felt nice on mine, almost like that's where they belonged. I know it sounds cheesy, but that's just the way it is.

"I promise you, Katherine that I will always be here for you."

I placed my head back on his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his neck to get comfortable. My back was against the end of the couch while I was sitting on his lap with my head on his shoulder and his arms around my waist. I couldn't get more comfortable than this.

I yawned slightly, even though I'm sure I had just woken up a few hours ago. Before I closed my eyes, I knew I needed to tell Godric my answer.

"Godric, I want to be bonded with you."

I felt my eyelids get heavier. Sleep has always exhausted me. I usually never cry, but lately it's been nonstop crying. It really does take a lot out of you.

"Sleep for now, my child. We will discuss then when you wake."

I tried to nod, but instead my eyes closed on their own, without my permission. I knew I should just let sleep over take me, but I fought it as hard as I could.

"Will you stay with me while I sleep?"

"I will, Kat. I'm right here."

He gently hugged me. That was enough for me to fall asleep on him.

A/N – I know these author notes are annoying, but I have a few more things I need to say. For one thing, I pinky promise I'll try to write more. For two, I know this chapter sucked but I'm like currently brain dead right now. Last thing, if you have any ideas please drop a review. :) . I would really appreciate it. 3

Kitten