Chapter 7

Of course the thought that she might leave had crossed his mind before he'd fallen asleep with her body pressed against his, so when Killian woke up and stretched out his hand in search of Emma's warm body and she wasn't beside him … he wasn't really surprised, but it still hurt. More than it probably should. More than he had a right to feel.

For a brief moment he had the hope that she was just in the other room, that she would be leaning against the doorframe when he opened his eyes and would smile at him. He knew hoping for it was foolish, but his heart still sped up as he shifted on the bed to face the door. He listened with still closed eyes for any sound that would tell him that Emma was still there, but when he heard none he took a deep breath and forced his eyes opened.

The pain was there first, a sharp stab to his heart when she wasn't there, dulling to a throbbing ache when he walked into the adjacent room and saw that all her things were gone.

"What did you expect, you fool?"

The night with Emma had been everything he imagined and so much more. He'd always thought he'd lose his virginity to her, but then he'd broken up with her and even though his heart had splintered into a million pieces he'd forced himself to go on.

He'd tried to chase her out of his mind by taking the first available girl to bed, and thankfully Kathy had already left his bed before she could see the tears that had been welling up in his eyes because his first woman hadn't been Emma. There had been quite a few since then. Meaningless sex, and as far as he knew he'd even managed not to break any more hearts. He never had a relationship, never promised more than he could give, and all the women he'd been with knew that. Not one of them had ever wanted more than good sex without strings.

He thought he could live with that, that he had no other choice than to live without Emma in his life. He didn't want to hurt any woman by pretending he felt more for her than he truly did, so he never even tried to find more. He didn't expect to ever forget Emma, and then she was standing in front of him again and his heart soared back to life.

But her absence this morning sent a clear message. She might have been too weak yesterday to resist the sizzling attraction that still burnt between them, but she didn't want to have anything else to do with him.

He hurt her. Badly. And she was apparently not willing to forgive him.

-/-

He'd cleaned the cabin, made sure the fire was out and took the sheets with him. Normally he would bring them to Mary Margaret because she'd told him a long time ago that it was easier if she washed them and brought them back to the cabin afterwards. But this time Killian would do it himself. He couldn't face Emma's parents, couldn't face Emma. At least not yet.

His heart was heavy as he closed the door behind him, wondering if he would experience the happiness he felt last night ever again. A weight settled on his shoulders for a moment, almost bringing him to his knees. But then he straightened and turned around with determination. It wouldn't do him any good to dwell on all the things he did wrong in the past. He couldn't change them anymore, and being with Emma for one amazing night wouldn't make up for all his past mistakes. He had to accept her decision.

Elsa took only one look at him when he stepped through the door and immediately knew something was off. For once Killian was glad that his sister-in-law was so perceptive, because she only let the little rascals hug him for a moment before she ushered them out of the door and shared one of those 'married couple looks' with his brother.

Liam didn't even say something, he just pointed to the chair across from him and raised one eyebrow, and Killian spilled everything. Well, not the details of the night, but the rest – about their father's ultimatum, meeting Emma again in the cabin, sharing the night with her.

Talking to Liam helped. Not much. But it helped. Lessened the weight on his shoulders. With time he knew the pain would dull. With time losing her again wouldn't hurt so much anymore, wouldn't feel as if his lungs weren't able to draw in enough air.

"So you're just gonna let her go a second time? Are you completely insane, Killian?"Liam snapped and Killian jerked in his seat. That was not was he was expecting from his brother. He didn't expect a lot of compassion, but he also didn't expect his brother to read him the riot act. "You've never been in love with anyone else your whole life, and I never understood why you two broke up. Because you bloody fool didn't tell me what dad did." Liam's voice turned angry as he continued, "If you had I'd've put your head in a headlock until you picked up the phone and called Emma to tell her the truth and apologize profusely for being such an sodden fool. Then I would have stood beside you until you've started to beg for her forgiveness before sending you to the next flower shop so that you can buy a ton of flowers on your way to her."

Killian stared at his brother with an open mouth for a few seconds while he processed what his brother had told him, and it still took him several attempts until he was able to say anything at all, and even then his voice was feeble. "Do you think she can ever forgive me?"

"How about you ride over and find out," Liam said harshly as he pushed up from his chair. Grabbing his arm, Liam hauled him out of his own chair and pushed him towards the door. "Get out of here, little brother."

"Younger brother," Killian yelled over his shoulder, already half out the door.

Liam was right, it was time to fight for her. He had a lot of groveling to do, but he was ready to do what needed to be done to get her back. He lost her once through his own mistake, he didn't want to lose her again.