Hey guys!

I'm here with another fic update - FINALLY! I think everyone's growing concerned about Olivia - trust me though, it'll only get deeper as the story goes on. In this chapter, Maureen and Olivia have lunch together, Olivia does some thinking, and Cragen pops up for a visit with Elliot.

So please, enjoy guys xoxo

Keeping Promises

Part 07

Olivia tried to take her time with the paperwork to somehow buy time before going to lunch with Maureen – a lunch she had suggested – but her paperwork was pretty much finished, so after signing off on her last file, she slapped it shut before standing up. The others knew that she was about to head off to lunch with Maureen as she had explained that the young girl was struggling a bit and that she just wanted to spend a bit of time with her in the hopes that it would help her out a bit. After promising that she'd meet them around six at the bar for drinks, she bid them all farewell before heading back into the squad room area. She popped into Cragen's office to give him the files, but before she could head out, he stopped her;

"Liv, wait; I just want a minute."

She rolled her eyes to herself before turning around and smiling; "Yeah?"

Cragen came around and shut the door, before gesturing for her to sit down. She sat herself down on one of the chairs while he perched himself on the edge of his desk and folded his arms across his chest.

"I don't think I've had much of a chance to actually sit down and talk to you over the last month," he had a fatherly tone in his voice and Olivia had to swallow a lump that had unexpectedly formed in her throat; "So tell me; how are you really?"

Olivia paused for a second before shrugging; "I'm fine, Cap…I promise."

"That might work with anyone else but not me, I know you too well," he moved to sit in the chair beside her; "Olivia, you have plenty of vacation days, so if you need some time off, you can have it."

"Cap, we're a detective down, so I can't just take some days," she pointed out; "Besides, I'm fine; if I work, then I'm all good…work is good for me."

"You said that when your mother died."

"And it was good for me then," Olivia retorted, letting out a sigh; "Listen, I appreciate everyone's concern, I really do, but I need to deal with this in my own way."

"I understand that, Liv, but don't forget that you have people around that want to help you, especially Elliot…" the captain paused for a second before continuing; "You don't have to handle everything alone."

Olivia swallowed; that was the second time she had heard that today.

She nodded her head, rubbing a hand over the Captain's shoulder; "Thank you Captain, I know; I'm alright though."

Cragen simply stared at her for a moment before nodding once he realized that he wasn't going to get anything else out of her. The two of them stood up and he walked her over to his office door.

"Just promise me that if you aren't really okay, you'll come to me or one of the guys, or you'll go to Elliot?"

Olivia nodded, giving him a smile; "I promise."

Cragen nodded and rubbed her arm, before opening the door. She waved at him before wandering over to where hers and Elliot's desks were. She pulled on her coat and grabbed her bag and her travel mug and keys, before gesturing for Maureen to follow her. Maureen smiled, following her out of the squad room, away from the prying eyes of the Captain, who was growing increasingly concerned about his detective as the days rolled on.

But he knew that she wouldn't talk to him or anyone else at that precinct. The only person that she would ever properly confide in was currently going through hell himself.

He just hoped that one of them would crack and start talking soon. He was worried about them both, and just wanted them to be okay.

Olivia and Maureen drove their cars to an Italian eatery that was a few blocks from the precinct. Once inside the place, the two grabbed a booth towards the back, and the friendly waitress soon wandered over and began rattling off some specials for the day. Olivia and Maureen both ordered the stuffed meatballs with extra cheese and some water, and the waitress scribbled the orders down before walking away.

"Thanks for lunch, Olivia; I really do appreciate this," Maureen spoke up after a few moments, "And uh…thanks for the chat too."

"No problem honey, I'm always here," Olivia gave her a soft smile before continuing, "Talked to your father today?"

Maureen shook her head, sighing; "Nah…I haven't talked to anyone today but you really; no one else knows about my break down."

Olivia nodded, giving her a small smile; "You can talk about it some more if you want; I do know what you're going through – maybe not to the exact extent, but it's still hard losing your parent."

"It is hard, and I don't…it wasn't supposed to be now, not this early; she's supposed to be here, seeing Eli grow up, seeing us all grow and have our own lives and families; she's supposed to have a chance to be a grandmother one day – you know?" Maureen sighed, shaking her head; "I'm sorry, this is supposed to be a nice lunch and-"

"Hey, no; don't apologize honey; I told you to talk about it – I'm right here." Olivia quickly reassured her, placing a hand on her forearm. Maureen flicked her gaze from her hands and back up to Olivia's face, tilting her head slightly as she looked at her.

"But who are you gonna talk to?"

Olivia hesitated for a second. She knew what Maureen was alluding to, but she decided to play it off; "I dealt with my mother's death a long time ago and-"

"Not that, you know that's not what I meant," Maureen replied with an exasperated sigh; "Olivia, just…you know we're here for you too; you went through something traumatic too, so we are here."

Olivia sighed before nodding her head, giving the young girl a small smile; "Mo, I know honey, and I appreciate it so much. Just…please, let's get you and your siblings and your father a little better and stronger first, and then I'll deal with me."

"Liv…at least tell Daddy?"

Olivia hesitated again. Even Maureen wanted her to tell Elliot what was going on and how she was feeling, and she wanted to, but there was just something else in her that didn't want to worry him with this – in fact, a large part of her didn't want to worry him. Besides, did she even have the right to unload on him when he was suffering way more?

But she knew Maureen wouldn't let up if she said anything else, so she replied with; "I will Mo, I promise."

Maureen nodded, squeezing her hand as she gave her a small smile.

Their food and drinks arrived shortly after they'd stopped talking, and the two instantly tucked into the tasty lunch. The conversation switched, and Maureen confided in Olivia about some ideas she had for Christmas, which was now in less than a week. She explained that she wanted to decorate the living room and put the tree up after they packed up Kathy's things, and that she wanted to maybe take Eli to see Santa, even though he was only little. She also discussed that she was going to buy presents for her siblings and their father, and she hoped that the Christmas holiday would be nice as they really did deserve some sort of happiness. Olivia told her that the ideas were great and that she would help in any way she could, and she promised that she would still be over at the weekend to help pack up if she didn't have to work.

Maureen swallowed a bit more of her lunch, then looked up again; "The idea about going to see Mom's grave on Christmas Eve – that's a really good idea you know; thank you for suggesting that."

"Hey, anything…I just, I thought maybe it would help if you all could just go and talk to her," Olivia shrugged, pushing some of her food around with her fork; "I told Katie that I do it every year; I go to my mom's grave and see her – all that."

"It's been a long time since she died, hasn't it?" Maureen asked.

"Eight years this month," Olivia sighed, sitting back in her seat; "I still miss her, but it's like…I knew this would happen, I came to terms with her alcoholism and I made peace with it, so it was sad when it happened, but it's like…um…" She paused, struggling to find the words to say.

"It wasn't like it is with us?" Maureen asked.

"Yeah, that," Olivia nodded, sighing; "It wasn't like…put it this way, you guys will grieve for way longer than I ever did."

Maureen looked at her for a second before speaking; "You don't talk much about your relationship with your mom, do you?"

Olivia shook her head; "Not really…we didn't have the best relationship for a very long time; not until I was an adult."

"Not a good childhood?"

"Not really; there's a lot of bad stuff there – stuff that took me a very long time to get over."

"Whoa," Maureen breathed out, "Do you ever talk about it?"

"I've talked about it to your father," Olivia leaned her elbows on the table, clasping her hands together; "The others in the squad know bits and pieces, but your father knows everything."

Maureen nodded before quietly asking; "Does it get any easier?"

Olivia gave her a sympathetic look as she reached over and patted her arm; "Slowly, in time."

Maureen nodded, before taking her hand and giving it a squeeze; "I'm just glad you're here, and you know if you ever need to talk, we got you."

Olivia nodded, giving her a huge smile. Sometimes she didn't take into consideration the support system she had. She always focused solely on the fact that she didn't really have any family – bar the half brother that only talked to her when he needed something – and sometimes that led to her thinking that she didn't have someone when she truly needed them. But she sometimes forgot about the fact that she had family outside of the biological sense – her Captain that was a fatherly figure to her, and her brothers in blue in the department, especially her best friend Elliot.

And now Maureen as well.

She squeezed the young woman's hand;

"Thank you, Mo; it means a lot."

Maureen and Olivia remained in the restaurant for another hour before they finally left, only after Olivia paid the bill and left the waitress a tip. She and Maureen shared a huge hug before going their separate ways; Maureen was going out to Queens while Olivia was headed home. It was late in the afternoon and she wasn't due to meet the others at the bar until six, so she decided to go back to her apartment and relax as she had a couple of hours until then.

Once she reached her building, she headed inside and took the elevator to her floor. She headed into her apartment and locked up, before tossing her bag and coat down and making her way through to the bedroom. She unclipped her badge and gun and placed them in the drawer beside her bed before flopping down onto her bed, resting her head on the pillow. She wasn't really in a rush as she had a while and the bar was only a couple blocks from her apartment, so she could simply lay there and think about life for a bit before she actually pulled herself up to get ready.

She thought back to what Maureen said on the roof of the precinct – the comment about Elliot and Kathy not lasting forever. She had genuinely believed that this time around, Elliot and Kathy were going to survive it. She remembered back to when they had split up and almost divorced; Elliot had been a mess for a little while but had seemed to come to terms with it in the end, as she recalled a conversation on the stoop of his apartment building one night when he told her that he had finally signed the divorce papers – just a little over a year earlier. That was a very confusing time for them, the line that had existed between them was starting to blur and become complicated and neither of them knew what to do about it.

She often wondered what would have happened had that night not happened – the night where a case was so brutal that Elliot ended up sleeping with Kathy. Would that have been the end for them then or would they have eventually reconciled anyway? Sometimes Olivia did wonder. She still remembered the day he told her was going home, but she remembered how he kept stalling. She remembered the look on his face when he blurted out that Kathy was pregnant and remembered how defeated he looked. But then as the months rolled on, he seemed excited about becoming a father again which led her to believe that everything was alright.

He and Kathy seemed so happy, so what the hell was Maureen talking about?

But Maureen saw more than she did, so maybe she had picked up on something that Olivia didn't know about.

Whatever the case may be, the heart break he was feeling was certainly not fake; he was definitely hurting.

She closed her eyes and for a moment, she could see them in that corridor again at the courthouse. He had checked the time for the millionth time in five minutes and she finally asked him what was wrong, and that was when he blurted out that Kathy was pregnant and how bad he felt because he hadn't gone back home. There was a look in his eyes; like he was ashamed at himself for accidentally getting her pregnant, for stalling on going home.

But there was something else in his eyes too – something that Olivia pushed to the back of her mind at the time but something that was popping to the front of her mind now.

Over the years, she and Elliot's intense bond and chemistry allowed them to look into each other's eyes and get a read, to know what the other was thinking. One look into those swirls of cobalt blue and she had all the answers she ever needed. She remembered the look in his eyes that day – in addition to feeling ashamed and defeated, his eyes had locked on hers with a look that she only had seen just after she came back from being undercover;

Remorse – as if he was saying sorry; but not for the situation. He was secretly saying sorry directly to her.

She had confided in Casey about it during her time off during the summer. She tried to be casual about things, but Casey told her she wasn't being crazy and that she knew why Elliot had looked at her like this. Olivia brushed her off and told her that nothing would ever happen and that things weren't like that, but then Casey simply asked her; "Why did he never make an effort to actually go home before now – when he's forced to?"

Olivia could never answer that question and Casey answered it for her; "He wants you and just realized that he's stuck."

Olivia brushed her off at the time, but now part of her was wondering about it – about that look in his eyes that day in the courthouse. She knew that now was not the time to be even thinking about it, not with the way things had happened lately. She had always pushed whatever things she felt for Elliot to the side for sake of their partnership and friendship. Fuck…the reason she even left and went to Computer Crimes and undercover to Oregon was because of what she felt for Elliot; things he didn't know…and never would know. They were scared, especially her. It was complicated, and he was too close; she had to push him away, to save him.

But now she wondered again – had Elliot not gone home that night, what would have happened to them?

Why had Maureen said that earlier? "…it was only a matter of time before it imploded again."

She sighed to herself. It didn't matter; none of what she was thinking mattered anymore anyway so why was she bothered?

She buried her face into the pillow and groaned.

She couldn't wait to get those drinks tonight.

"Yo baby girl, over here!"

As soon as she entered the familiar cop bar, Olivia's attention was captured by Fin, who was waving over from a table near the corner. She had showered again and now smelled like lavender and vanilla and was now dressed in jeans and boots with a pink NYPD hooded sweatshirt she'd worn under her coat. She smiled and gave a quick head nod to the bartender before moving through the crowded bar and over to the table. She put her coat on the back of the chair before sitting on the stool, smiling as a beer was pushed in front of her straight away by Munch.

"Remember we're on Lake's dime so order what you want." Fin smirked as he greeted her with a fist bump. Lake scowled while Munch and Olivia burst out laughing, shaking their heads in despair.

"Where's Captain? Is he coming too?" she curiously asked as she stole one of the fries from the plate in front of Munch.

"Nah; he passed – said he's going out to Queens to see Elliot." Lake explained before taking a swig of his beer.

Olivia froze. The captain was going to see Elliot? She knew she could be logical; Elliot was like a son to Cragen, so it was probably just a social visit to check in on him. But there was part of her that couldn't shake the feeling that Cragen was going to mention her demeanor at work, thus opening a can of worms that she would much rather keep closed for now.

She sighed and took a swig of her beer, silently praying to God that for once, her gut instincts were wrong.

Meanwhile, half an hour away, across the bridge in the borough of Queens, a car parked along the side walk outside the two-story family home. Captain Don Cragen shut off the engine and stepped out of the vehicle before walking up the cement walkway. He walked up the steps and moved towards the door before pressing the small button, thus hearing a melodious time echo throughout the home.

A few moments later, he heard the locks click and the door opened. The blue-eyed man – dressed in sweats and a navy-blue NYPD shirt while holding a one-month old baby boy in one arm – smiled straight away as he opened the screen door as well.

"Hey Cap – come on in!"

Cragen smiled, stepping into the home before patting his detective on the shoulder;

"Hi Elliot."

Soooo guys - what did you think? Please, leave some feedback and all that. Think Cap's visit is just a social call or is Olivia's gut instinct right? We'll find out in the next update. But until next time... xoxo