Addictive

My name is Kurogane. I'm here because I have a small, little, itsy bitsy, minute, infinitesimal, insignificant, unimportant, trivial problem. You see…I think…that I might just, perhaps, maybe, probably not but just to be sure…I think I might have an addiction. I'm not an alcoholic, or a drug-addict, or even a sex-addict—although that…can become questionable once I tell you about my real addiction.

But, no, I'm not addicted to any of those as most of you here are. No, my addiction is much harder to get rid of, and the only way I probably could is if I commit murder, which I fucking can't because of effing stupid Tomoyo—but you probably don't know who the hell I'm talking about and that's okay.

I'm seriously addicted. I should stop, but I can't, and it's getting fucking freakier every day. Like all of you, I used to think that when I wanted to I could stop, but when I tried to…I…I found that I couldn't. It took me a long time to finally admit and come to terms with myself that yes, I do have a problem and I shouldn't be so fucking ashamed of it. A fucking bi—I mean witch, that I know suggested this program to me to help me admit it and get over it and even accept it.

Sure, she pestered me, annoyed me, irritated me and flapped her batwings at me until I just about wanted to slap her, take her by her way-too-long black hair and give her a good swing, but I didn't because I knew that she was trying to help me get over my addiction because that's what friends—or people who just happen to be acquainted with each other through hate—do.

So now, here I am, and I'm not going to fuck off and be scared of admitting this, because even though I'd much rather be taking my mind of the fucking addiction with a nice, long killing spree, I'm not going to do that because I'm a calm, rational person—and because Tomoyo hasn't left for her summer palace yet.

No. Instead, I'm going to talk about my addiction and hope that all you fucking people can do your job and help me like I paid you to—or rather the Dimensional Bitch stole out of my pocket and paid you to.

See, my addiction doesn't look dangerous, and it doesn't seem dangerous, but I'm sure that all addictions are that way. Like smoking, right? It doesn't seem stupid and disgusting, and it just tastes like plain shit when you first try it, but when you do it enough times, you get addicted. My addiction is like that too. I didn't think it'd do any harm to try it, you know. Now, it wasn't stupid or disgusting, but…well yeah, it was fucking amazing, but…you know what? Screw this. Point is, I shouldn't have tried it and now I'm addicted.

And then my addiction has this white skin—watch out for it—it's one of the most dangerous parts. It makes you want to stroke it and kiss it and lick it all over and before you fucking know it, BAM! You're so addicted, you can't even tell head from ass.

But there's also its hair. It's got this pale blond hair that sticks up in random directions, and even though it looks stupid, its really soft and after it takes a damn shower it smells like the best shit ever and it might sound disgusting, but when its head is, you know, down there and all it feels pretty hell good. It kind of even tickles a bit, but you know…not in the good way or anything. Ahem.

Not to say that its eyes aren't just as addictive. At first, they may just look despicable and irritating because of all the lies in that one pair of sky blue—you probably didn't even think that a single pair could hold as many as its did—but once it lures you in and you get over the lies, you start to really notice (but not appreciate, never appreciate, damn it) how effing pretty they are and how nice it is to stare at them. And when they plead screw me. That's really, really dangerous. When you see those eyes begging you to screw it, make sure you back away as fast as you can.

Although, I know that its lips are by far one of its most addictive and lethal parts. They look really silky and flawless and sometimes they can look all pouty and soft, but remember, they aren't really. Well…they are, but you know what I mean. But seriously, once you kiss it and you feel those lips and you feel its tongue inside your mouth, you get a hell of a boner that won't go away. Ever. Unless—

And that brings me to the most dangerous, most addictive, most frightening and lethal and terrorizing part of it:

Its body.

Its lithe, white, pale, beautiful, slender, smooth, androgynous body. Its got these arms—the slenderest, longest, softest arms ever, and whenever they wrap around your neck it feels like they're suffocating you because once you see the dizzying skin your lungs clog up and that's the first symptom of addiction. The first symptom is shortness of breath.

And then, when its dangerous lips are on yours and you pin it up against a wall or a table and its legs snake around your waist you feel the second symptom, the symptom that tells you that you have to stop now or else you won't be able to. A racing heartbeat.

But if you were as fucking stupid as I was to disregard the symptoms and continue, you'll experience the worst symptom ever—although probably not as bad as the withdrawal symptoms, which I also experienced—and that's a fever. I don't know if you if my temperature actually goes up, but I'm sure that my body is hotter whenever I see it…or think about doing it…or even touch it.

And of course, all three symptoms lead up to when you sex it. Children, I can warn you all of one thing…throughout all of my experiences and tests with these regrettable—or not—addiction…one thing that I assure you should never, ever, ever, fucking EVER do…is have sex with it. Never. You will become addicted, and if it leaves you, the withdrawal symptoms are just as horrifying. Withdrawal symptoms include: Depression; impotency; irritation of the nerves, heart and mind; fissures in the heart; and a shortened-temper.

"Kuro-tan?" it peeks its head in the doorway. "Are you talking to yourself in the mirror again?"

"Ever heard of knocking, mage?" I growl. "Go away! I'm busy!"

"Doing what?" it sounds amused. It starts walking towards me in all its addictive glory—this is when it is advised to immediately start running in the other direction, even if that direction includes a ravine.

"Trying to get over my addiction," I mutter, as its so very, very addictive arms wrap around me and I can feel its body against my back. The first symptom has appeared. My lungs tighten.

"I didn't know you had an addiction," it says, confusedly, "And how could getting rid of an addiction be successful in the bathroom with all your…whatever medicines are used in Nihon?"

"I was doing just FINE, thanks, until you showed up."

It stares at our reflection for a minute, and then its eyes grow sly and it laughs. And laughs. And laughs, and I try not to stare at its tongue and lips. Or its very white teeth. "I see." It leans in extremely close, until I can feel those lips and that tongue against the small area of skin between my shoulder and throat that my hakama has slipped off to show. "Well then, Kuro-sama…how about you stop trying to resist and just take your daily amount? Don't worry…" it twists around to kiss me on the corner of my mouth. "I'll take care not to let you overdose."

I punch the door close and pin him to the bathroom floor.

He's just too addictive.

A/N: Fai is the only drug that no one but a high person would "just say no" to. I swear, he is. Although, I wouldn't say no to Kuro-sama either. Who would?

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