Disclaimer: I do not own AHS.

A/N: Hey guys, so I finished this chapter sooner then I thought and decided to update a little early. So enjoy! Oh, and thanks again for the reviews! Hope everyone's enjoying the last weeks of their summer.

DEAR JOHNNY

CH 7- Mommy's Little Boy

FEBRUARY 1966

Music played from the radio in the kitchen. It had snowed the night before and Lana found herself in her bedroom. She was a little flustered and her hair was a mess. She stood at the foot of her bed kneeling over slightly as she looked through the small pile of baby clothes fresh of out the dryer. She frowned noticing that some of them had shrunken a little. Lana really wasn't good at household chores.

Johnny lay on the bed before her in only his diaper. He was about to be three months old on the 16th and Lana couldn't believe how fast he was growing. At three months he was already holding his head up and was beginning to roll over on his own. Barb had given Lana a parenting book that she had somehow managed to find time to read (well, there was plenty of time at work when Lou gave her a useless story to work on and she refused to waste her time on it.)

Lana had read that at three months her child was now able to recognize not only her face but her voice and her scent as well. This baffled Lana. She had never thought. Then again, a lot of things Johnny did surprised her and even awed her.

"Alright, let's see." She said as she picked out a clean onesie, a little sweater and a pair of tiny little sweats to put on him. She needed to go to the store and buy even more diapers and not to mention a few clothes to replace the ones she had shrunk in the wash.

Johnny squealed at the sound of her voice. He was all smiles and laughs that morning despite the fact that he had kept Lana up the entire night before crying up a storm.

"Settle down, you." She said to him almost absentmindedly as she put on his onesie.

Johnny squirmed and moved his hands about making things a little bit harder for Lana. She groaned. "Stop that." And managed to get his little arms through the sleeves. She used to be afraid to fight his tiny strength in fear that she would hurt him. It was weird how strong he was.

She buttoned up the onesie and noticed right away that it was just a little bit tight and she couldn't tell if it was because it shrunk or because he had grown. Lana couldn't deny that the latter made her a little sad.

She looked at her son's face with a light frown, "Will you stop growing?"

Johnny looked at her smiled and gave out a little laugh. She sighed and commenced to undress him. She was going to have to take him shopping. In just a month he was beginning to outgrow most of the clothing given to him by Lana's coworkers and the onesies from the hospital didn't even fit him anymore. Lana had folded those tiny onesies and safely placed them in her drawers along with her personal memento box where she kept photos and memories of Wendy.

Lana folded the small onesie and went to her drawer where she kept the rest of Johnny's new clothes. There were some she hadn't even put on him yet. She pulled out a navy blue onesie that read "Mommy's Little Boy" across the chest with the figure of a little tiger below it. Lana read the words over for a moment. She sighed and took the onesie with her and put it on Johnny.

"Mommy's little boy..." She said out loud.

Johnny looked at her with that tiny little impish smile of his. It was then Lana remembered Oliver and his words to her that night in his basement. Her stomach churned lightly and she pulled her head out of the memory. She then looked at her son and felt a tug on her heart. Sometimes it was just hard to look at him and not remember.

When Johnny was all bundled up, Lana placed him in the swing, strapped safely to her chest and was off. She put a little beanie on him as she exited the house.

…

Lana made her way through the store pushing a cart with Johnny strapped safely in his swing against her chest. He was wide-awake listening to all the sounds and occasionally looking at the people who passed by but he mostly leaned his cheek against Lana's chest and snuggled against her making little sounds here and there.

At first Lana hadn't noticed how busy the store was that day. She made her way through the baby isles picking out a large packet of diapers and placing it in to the cart. She then made her way to the second isle where the baby food and the formulas were. Lana stopped in front of the powdered formula and wondered if Johnny was healthy enough to handle it. She had been breast feeding still and hadn't tried to give him any more formula since the last time where he threw up and cried the entire night from belly cramps.

Lana left the powdered formula behind and made her way to the baby clothes section where she looked through the baby clothes. She grabbed a few new onesies in a variety of colors and placed them in the cart. She then walked over to a T stand and picked out a little outfit and pulled it off the stand showing it before her.

"How about this one?" She asked Johnny, "Do you like this one?"

Johnny cooed slightly.

Lana sighed. "You'll just outgrow it, won't you?"

Johnny gave out another delighted sound and Lana frowned. It was as if he knew and agreed with her. Lana shook her head and placed the outfit in the cart. She chose a variety of other little shirts and pants and headed out of the baby section.

She was walking down the isle when she noticed red heart decorations hanging above the isles towards the gift card isle. Lana looked ahead to notice a crowd of people gathered in front of an isle decorated white, pink and red. She frowned lightly and looked to the isle on her left where she could see shelves and shelves of red heart shaped chocolate boxes.

Above the shelves it read: Happy Valentine's Day.

Lana's eyes narrowed. "Valentines?"

It then dawned on her. It was February 13th, the day before Valentine's Day. Lana looked down to Johnny. He was beginning to doze off against her chest. She placed her hand on his back and patted it softly. "Let's go." She worded softly and headed for the cash registers.

That night Lana rocked Johnny to sleep in his room while the record played soft jazz through out the house. She slowly walked around the room, cradling the fussy baby in her arms. She should have been paying attention to him but couldn't get her mind off of Wendy. Tomorrow would be Valentine's. Her first actual Valentine's without the love of her life.

Lana and Wendy always made a big deal about Valentine's. Usually Lana wouldn't care for such a silly holiday but Wendy liked it and Lana wanted to please her in every single way. Besides, it wasn't every day they were able to show their love for each other. Lana stopped in the middle of the room and let her mind venture off…

It had been a tough day out in the field. Lana pulled up to the drive way of her home with Wendy and slammed the car door shut. She had been assigned yet again another half assed assignment and was ready to yank her hair out.

Lana unlocked the front finding it odd that all the lights were off. Wendy was always home before her.

Lana opened the door and stepped inside. She was instantly surprised to find candles lighting the living room.

"Wendy?" Lana called out half amused. "What the hell is all this?" She looked around the floor to find a trail of flower petals. Lana scoffed, "Holy shit, Wendy…" She followed the trail of flowers to their bedroom where she heard the songs of Billie Holiday and was instantly pulled inside.

"Hello, Ms. Winters." Came Wendy's voice as Lana stepped in to the room.

The room was decorated with candles and petals. Wendy sat naked on the bed with only a silk sheet to cover her naked body. She held a cigarette between her lean fingers.

Lana looked at her and laughed lightly. "What is all of this?"

Wendy shrugged, "Its Valentine's Day, what else?"

Lana made her way to the bed and sat next to Wendy, facing her. She smiled coyly. "Is this all for me?"

"All yours." Wendy responded as Lana leaned in for a kiss.

Their soft lips crashed gently with one another and then gathered force as Lana scooted closer, pinning Wendy against the headboard. Finally when Lana pulled away she looked in to Wendy's eyes.

"I love you, did you know?" She asked in a soft husky voice almost out of breath from the taste of Wendy's lips.

Wendy smirked, "I know."

Lana grinned and took the cigarette from Wendy and took a long drag from it. She then extinguished it in the ashtray sitting upon the nightstand and turned to Wendy again.

Lana placed her hand on Wendy's shoulder and let her fingers glide down her arm. "And to think I'd find you grading papers."

Wendy laughed. "Come here, you." She grabbed Lana's face and pulled her in to another kiss.

Lana snapped herself from the memory when the record playing in the living room began to skip. Johnny began to wail in Lana's arms as she hurried out of his room and fixed the record.

"Shh, don't cry now, little boy. No crying." She shushed him softly in means to calm him but Lana couldn't even calm the storm brewing with in her.

…

Lana spent the following day at work in a haze. She hid away in her cubicle from the hustle and bustle of the office. Women displayed their Valentine's gifts upon their desks. Cards, chocolate boxes, stuffed animals and vases of pretty flowers. Just the sight of red and pink made Lana want to curl up and vomit. She wasn't in the best mood and opted to be left alone. However, Bern stopped by and gave Lana a small box of chocolates. The gesture touched Lana's heart and she thanked Bern. She almost wanted to cry but forced herself not to in front of Bern.

Every single holiday without Wendy had been a tough one and now came another just as hard. She knew she shouldn't have let such a silly greeting card holiday get to her but it wasn't about the lack of gifts she received, it was about Wendy and how the reality of her death was hitting Lana stronger than ever before. Possibly even stronger than it was on Christmas.

When the clock struck 2, Lana grabbed her bags and headed out early. Instead of driving to Barb's to pick up Johnny, she went straight to the cemetery to visit Wendy's final resting place.

Lana made her way through the white, marvel stone isle and stopped right before her. Lana read the title on the plaque on Wendy's grave still not believing them.

Wendy Elaine Peyser. 1934-1964.

Lana took the dried up flowers hanging from the marvel stone and replaced them with a small bundle of roses she had bought on her way there. "Happy Valentines, Doll." She Lana said softly, her voice was close to breaking.

"I know how much you loved today. I still find it pointless but you know me…" She said sheepishly.

Lana felt the tears prickle her eyes and escape her as they rolled down her pale cheeks. She cursed Oliver Thredson for taking Wendy from her. Wendy who was all she had in the world. Who was all she ever wanted.

"I miss you so much. I guess I didn't realize it would be this hard." Lana let her eyes fall, "I wish you were here because I can't do this alone." Lana didn't know if she was referring to living without Wendy or raising her son on her own. She was still conflicted about the matter.

"But I swear I'm trying. Its just hard…" Lana looked at Wendy's name upon the plaque and felt her heart break all over again. "He's getting so big now." She said about Johnny, "I didn't realize how fast they grow. I mean, I can't believe its been three months…" She trailed off for a moment, "But I'm trying to do right by him, like you'd want. I really am."

Lana leaned closer to Wendy's grave wishing she could hear a response but there was nothing but the sound of her own suffering. "I just had to have that story…" Lana whispered as she placed her hand on the cold stone. "I'm sorry, Wendy. I'm so sorry…"

Lana placed a kiss on the stone with her hand and said her goodbyes. She gathered herself and walked down the isle of graves wishing she had the courage to stay longer.

…

That night Lana sat on the living room sofa with Johnny in his bassinet next to her. He was changed and fed and ready for bed but he remained wide-awake doing his own little baby thing but Lana paid no mind to him. She kept her eyes on the television screen. Romantic love movies had been playing all night on almost every channel. Lana didn't know why she tortured herself that way. The house was awfully quiet. Oliver's ghost had been silent that day and not even Wendy's ghost came to visit Lana and ease her pain.

On her lap, Lana held the small box of chocolates that Bern had given her. She ate one after the other covering her feelings with the rich taste of chocolate. It was almost comforting in a way. After, she took a drink from her wine glass and took a long drag from her cigarette. She blew out the smoke and scoffed at the ridiculous scene before her. Mocking the love story unwinding before her helped mend her broken heart but it wasn't enough.

When she finally grew sick and tired of the film, she turned the television off, extinguished her cigarette, picked up Johnny from his bassinet and took him to her room. Johnny sneezed at the smell of cigarettes but calmed down once Lana laid him down on his baby blanket on top of her bed. He lay on his back still wearing his onesie that read "Mommy's Little Boy" and his tiny little gray sweats.

Lana turned on the radio on her nightstand and lay in bed, curled up next to her baby boy. She laid her head on her arm and looked at Johnny. She took in a deep breath. She would have never imagined there would be a day in where Wendy would not be in her life but instead she would have a son.

Lana propped up on her elbow and glanced down at Johnny. "I miss her a lot, you know…" She said to him unsure of why. "She would have loved you."

Lana trailed her finger down Johnny's little arm and stopped it in the middle of his palm. Johnny stretched out his little fingers and closed them around Lana's finger, holding her in a tiny grasp. Lana froze instantly. She looked at her finger in Johnny's hand and felt something strong surge through her. She then felt the same tug in her heart. Johnny looked at her with trusting eyes and slowly began to doze off.

Lana sighed softly leaving her finger in his hand. "Goodnight, Johnny boy."