Note – This is very, VERY loosely based on the Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt movie, "What Women Want," in which Gibson's character
What Women Want
6 – I'm a little bit of everything / All rolled into one – 6
Jason fished his phone out of his pocket when he felt it vibrate, hoping that it was Elizabeth.
"Morgan."
"Jason, it's Carly. I really, really need you – come by the Metrocourt, okay? Thanks."
He stared at the phone after Carly hung up, mildly displeased with the fact that she expected him to drop everything and get over to her place as fast as he could. But then, being her best friend, he decided to – temporarily – drop everything and head on over to the Metrocourt. If he was late because he had stopped off at Elizabeth's place, then Carly would want to know what kept him and if she found out, she'd make both his and Elizabeth's lives miserable for the rest of the week. No, it was best to go take care of her first and then scout Elizabeth out in peace.
The first person he saw when he entered the Metrocourt was Maxie Jones. And it was clear that Maxie didn't see him because she almost careened right into him, too lost in her own thoughts about Carly's newest hire to notice all six feet two inches of him standing right in the middle of the lobby.
Okay, so Cooper wants to take our relationship to the next level. Great. Okay. Okay, don't freak out. You have a lot of stuff to work through if you're going to make this right with him.
Great, just what he needed: the daily incoherent diatribe of some barely legal teen tartlet. Jason rolled his eyes and was about to interrupt her inward ranting to ask where Carly was when Maxie shook her head fiercely and let out an annoyed little huff.
Shape up, Jones! This is the first decent guy since Jesse that has wanted anything to do with the walking trainwreck that is you and if you want this to work, you're going to have to let him in. Completely. You're going to have to completely let him in. You can't muck this up like you did with Lucky, that spineless suckling that's too blind to see that his wife isn't even in love with him anymore. Besides, Coop is ten times the man Lucky Spencer will ever be, so you can't scare him off!
He said he wanted to be in an actual relationship instead of just fooling around. Okay. If I'm honest with myself, I want that, too. It would be nice to have that for a change. But you're going to have to be completely honest with him.
That's right, Jones. You're going to have to tell him…your biggest secret.
Jason arched a brow at the oblivious blonde, wondering just what sort of secret a nineteen year old girl could have besides stuffing her bra with tissues or skipping band practice to neck at Vista Point. Kids these days.
You have to tell him…that you're a big old bucket of crazy.
Jason blinked. Maxie honestly thought that was a secret? Half the town knew that!
He's been so sweet and caring all this time – he'll understand. He'll understand if you're just honest with him and if you admit that you're completely, one hundred percent nuts-o. Just tell him.
Just tell him that ever since he told you that your sheared bangs make you look like a broom that you have cried every fifteen minutes on the half hour since he said it and had to sit on your hands to avoid breaking every woman's cardinal rule and taking scissors to your bangs yourself.
Okay, that was a little nuts.
I can tell him that I am racked with self-doubt, I have panic attacks that one year I'll just end up being shoved in a large air freight crate with a million postage stamps and mailed back and forth to Mom, Dad, Uncle Mac, or whoever else is supposed to be in my life but doesn't want me around. I'm claustrophobic, germ-phobic, and phobia-phobic. I talk to myself, I talk to my stuffed animals, I talk to three different shrinks about the fact that my stuffed animals often respond to me in my sister's and PeeWee Herman's voice…
Jason backed up toward the counter, eyes wide. Okay, that was very nuts.
And yesterday, when I saw that pretty female receptionist handing you your paycheck I almost killed the lady whose measurements I was taking because I couldn't stop thinking about the two of you having sex on a crate of geriatric porn DVDs! And why a crate of geriatric porn DVDs? Because my mom used to have sex with that skeletor Luke Spencer and I WALKED IN ON THEM ONCE! There, I opened up! Are you happy?!
The heels of Jason's boots banged against the front counter and Maxie looked up abruptly to find him staring at her. Despite the fact that he had vowed to get as far away from her as he could, Jason felt he had to explain why he was staring at a teenage girl before she got the wrong idea. It seemed that with Maxie, everything was a wrong idea.
"I…uh…was just looking for Carly."
"Oh." She flipped her bangs out of her eyes – really, they did kind of look like the ends of a frayed broom – and nodded. "Yeah, sure, she's in the vault with the front end manager. She'll be out in a sec. Have a nice day."
And thankfully, Maxie Jones went away.
Jason shook his head and eased away from the counter, once again wandering into the center of the lobby. In a few minutes, a frazzled looking Carly stepped into the lobby and rushed over the instant she saw him standing there.
"Oh, Jason, you're here!" She wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders and squeezed as she was particularly wont to do whenever she was troubled. He let her squeeze him for a minute more and then Carly pulled her arms back, ran her hands through her hair, and let out an irritated huff. "I really need your help."
Jason sucked his teeth. "What do I have to do?"
"I need you to talk to Sonny," she said, hurrying on when she saw him pull away. "Jason, he's making this really difficult – not just on me and Jax, but on the boys. And I know that's the last thing you want. Talk to him – please?"
"If it's about you and Jax and the boys, why don't you talk to him?" Jason asked pointedly, wondering why she always felt the need to drag him into her love triangles for a sick quadrangle.
"Because he won't listen to me," she whined, unable to help herself. Sometimes, Sonny managed to make her feel like a helpless teenage girl with all his manipulations and domineering behavior. "He never listens to me! He just shows up at the house at all odd times – especially when me and Jax are there together – and says he wants to spend time with the boys and that he has that right because he's their father. He completely undermines Jax, in front of the boys, too, and I can't take it! You need to talk to him."
Right about now would be a great time to hear what she was really thinking, and why she really wanted him to get involved in this mess of her own making. Jason tilted his head a little toward her and concentrated, doing his best to pick up on her thoughts.
Nothing.
He leaned a little lower, his eyes narrowing.
"…Jason?" Carly pulled back, her hands on her hips now, and eyed him strangely. "What are you doing?"
"Nothing," he covered quickly, then expertly diverted the conversation back to her. "What do you want me to tell Sonny?"
"What do you mean, what do I want you to tell him?" she raged, smacking his arm as he covertly went back to trying to read her thoughts. "Tell him exactly what I said! Jason, I'm trying to make this as easy as possible for you – tell him that he can't keep undermining and disrespecting Jax in front of the boys because whether he likes it or not, Jax will be their step-father. And he can't keep showing up at the house uninvited because Jax and I need our privacy and…Jason, what the hell are you doing?!"
With due horror, Jason realized that his ear was perilously close to her face. He jerked back. "…Nothing."
Why the hell couldn't he hear anything? He could still hear Maxie behind the desk, inwardly mumbling about something having to do with Lulu and Logan and Cooper and Scott Baldwin – honestly, he didn't even want to know – and he could hear the old lady mentally commenting on the lives of the celebrities she was reading about in her trashy magazine, but he wasn't getting anything from Carly.
"Whatever that was, it was really weird so don't do it again," she instructed, jabbing him with her finger. "Like I was saying, Sonny just needs to understand that I'm not trying to cut him out of my life or Michael and Morgan's life – no. God, no. I would never do that to him. He's their father and they will always need him in a way that they might not need Jax. Jax and I both get that and we totally understand and we're okay with it. But he really just needs to back up and let us breathe and – Jason, are you even listening?!"
And it was just then that he finally realized what was going on: the reason that he couldn't hear any of Carly's thoughts was because they were all coming out of her mouth.
His best friend didn't bother hiding her feelings when he burst into a rare grin. "What is with you today? You sure you're feeling all right? God, you're so weird."
Jason squeezed her hand affectionately, still grinning, and turned slightly toward the door. Carly was unbelievable, and it had been a long time since he remembered this well just why she was forever his best friend. She was an honest woman, bluntly and horribly so, and she had no reason to think in little asides like other women because if there was something on her mind, she made damn sure everyone knew about it. Of all the women he had met today, Carly Corinthos soon-to-be-Jacks was definitely the most sane and the least confusing. And that was a scary thought in itself.
"I'll talk to Sonny," he promised, still smiling warmly at his bewildered friend. "I have to go, but I'll talk to him."
"Jason, wait, I-"
But he was already heading out the door into the sunshine, still shaking his head and chuckling. Carly Corinthos, the model woman – oh, Jesus.