A/N: Sooooo… Hi. I know, you hate me – but don't hate the story? I'm sorry it took so long; really, I'm just a procrastinating div who has too much college work. For some reason Bella went on a lot of tangents in this chapter, but I suppose it's just her mind figuring out her feelings for Jasper, Edweird and Malice. I hope you enjoy this chapter and please review because you will get a teaser!

Chapter 7 – Just to Be Absolutely Sure of the Facts

BPOV

I really didn't want to do this. There wasn't even the slightest chance that they wouldn't hear, even if I whispered as quietly as was possible. Which for me isn't that quiet because I've been told many times – mainly by Jake – that I don't possess something called an 'indoor voice'. Not that he does either. Or Emmett. Jasper though… He could be damn quiet. Actually, he somehow seemed quieter than the rest of my vampy family, even when it came to stuff like walking and moving – which is stupid because of course I know that they're all silent. Well, to me, anyway.

Em had actually missed him coming into the room once and, let me tell you, it's fucking hilarious to see your 6'5 vampire brother emit a screech similar to the one Lauren Mallory makes whenever shopping is mentioned, and proceed to jump at least four feet in the air. I'm not kidding; Esme had to replace the large, head-shaped hole that was left in the ceiling.

Ah, good times…

I was quickly snapped back to the present as Jasper pressed that I answer "now". So instinctively I opened my moth to talk. Now, I've never been a girl who took demands off anyone, especially not males who seemed to believe that they were the stronger sex and could boss me around – not until Edward and Alice that is (I'm still trying to figure out why they're the exception to the rule). But I'll be the first to admit – secretly, of course, I couldn't go around shouting that I thought my boyfriend's brother was attractive – that the controlling, dominating side of Jasper was hot as hell. And, for some reason I couldn't place, I felt compelled to answer him. It was the way I'd felt earlier when I'd obediently looked up at him as he used that same dark, quiet and stern tone.

'Obediently'? 'Stern'? Had I suddenly been transported into the Fifty Shades of Grey book that I'd never actually got around to reading?

I let out a deep breath, which I belatedly realized blew all over his face and oh my God what if it smelled all omelette-y from earlier and it was disgusting and – hang on did he just breathe it in? Like, on purpose?

I quickly brush away the millisecond in which I thought Jasper's face seemed to transform into all softness and bliss – because, really, I'd just breathed all over him, why would he be happy about that? – and focused on what to say.

I know I'm completely overreacting and just being silly but I've recently begun to see a different side to my boyfriend and my best friend. And that upsets me. But I don't want Jasper thinking I'm some kind of wimpy, over-emotional Jessica Stanley type girl who gets upset when someone, who just happens to be his wife, insults her style. Because that's totally not who I am. I'm okay with the clothes I wear because I know I rock them. Seriously, skinny jeans and a t-shirt suit me, so why shouldn't I wear them? Although recently I have found myself liking a few of Rosalie's slightly more classy jean-type ensembles… Little blazer-esque jackets and button-up blouses. But most definitely not Alice's Barbie-puke-pink outfits. Like, seriously, we get it; you like pink.

I realise I've gone off on yet another tangent but am pleased to find that it hasn't annoyed Jasper as he seems to have done exactly the same. And it looks like he's mid-epiphany, so I won't interrupt him. Because of that, obviously – not because I'm putting off the impending Edward/Alice conversation.

Suuuurrreee…. I do wonder what he's thinking about though.

I didn't have long to ponder over it though, because he soon snapped out of it and started looking at me funny. So, because I am who I am, which is a bitch who doesn't give a shit, I brought it up. What? – I was curious.

"Dude," I called his attention using my new favorite word of the week. "You're being weird. Why?" It's obvious how sensitive I am to other people's emotions.

"No, I'm not," he denied, just a little too quickly to be believable. My eyes immediately squint as I look at him accusingly, but he refuses to back down.

Weirdy.

"And don't think that you've distracted me, Swan," he continued, acting as if I was the one being strange. "Because I'm still expecting an answer."

Damn.

I glance at the stairs again. Just knowing they're up there and will hear me being all PMS-y about them made me feel awkward and silly – it's not like they're acting any differently than usual; if anything I'm the one who's changed. I'm reverting back to my old self and somehow it's making me see that the Duo aren't quite as perfect as I first believed. They also aren't quite as far away as I wish they'd be for this conversation.

Double damn.

Giving in, I sigh once more – ensuring that I breathe downwards instead of right into poor Jasper's face again – and pull my shit together. It's not like I'm doing anything awful, I mean, all I'm doing is regurgitating their words.

So I set off, telling Jasper everything that he missed and trying not to pay attention to the way his face becomes a deadly calm mask. By the time I'm finished he's starting to look a little scary and, if I was anyone else and had a morsel of sense in my silly little human brain, I would've legged it in the opposite direction and never looked back. But of course I didn't. I mean, this is Jasper; he'd never intentionally hurt me. Even at my birthday party (that I didn't want), he didn't intentionally plan to attack me, it just happened. I mean, shit, I was bleeding, if one of them hadn't tried to take a bite out of me I would've been a little offended. Which is really stupid, but I never claimed to be the brightest bulb in the pack.

I see him move to stand a lot sooner than I would've noticed if I hadn't been staring at him in such a creepily stalker-like way. I immediately move to put my hand on his arm, obviously knowing it wouldn't hold him down but hoping it might get his attention. It does and he turns to look at me, his expression softening slightly. Which is nice, because I'd read plenty of books where a character's face would 'soften' at the sight of their love interest, and it was a good feeling to know that someone cared about me that-

Wait... Love interest? What the fu-This is Jasper! Edward's brother, for fuck's sake, what is wrong with me? It's the lettuce, I swear, the healthiness has infected my brain and made me go mental. Next thing you know I'll be rubbing up against a tree singing about 'bear necessities'.

Forcing my mind away from the image of me re-enacting The Jungle Book, I bring my attention to Jasper, who looks like he's about to go pick a bitch fight with his wife and my boyfriend.

The image of Jasper saying "Shaniqua, hold my earrings," before strutting off upstairs popped into my head the second I thought the words 'bitch fight'. I quickly attempted to rid my mind of that picture, but failed epically and ended up letting a small giggle slip from my lips. Jasper's half confused half worried glance didn't help matters at all and only succeeded in making me laugh harder.

I'm pretty sure he checked my emotions just in case I was having some kind of breakdown, because that's probably what it looked like. Honestly, that would make more sense because how my mind came to create this wonderfully hilarious, greatly disturbing image is beyond me.

Just as I find that I am laughing so hard I can't sit up straight and have to lean on Jasper, I vaguely acknowledge Emmett walking down the stairs and into the room.

"Dude, I think you broke Bella," was his reaction. I turned, intending to glare at him, and saw that he was still wearing the shorts.

"Dude!" Is all I can splutter out between my laughter, which has doubled since seeing Emmett's attire. I slap Jasper's chest – lightly, because I'm distracted not stupid and I would like to keep the bones in my hand intact, thank you very much – to get his attention and point to Em.

At first he only manages a smirk, but eventually even pissy Jasper can't supress his chuckles at the outfit. To most people the joke would be old by now, but Em is the epitome of manly man, so seeing him dressed like that is just ridiculous. Apparently, Em has given up on being angry and has accepted the fact that it is funny as his laughter booms through the living room.

If anybody walked in now they'd probably assume we were all crazy and should be shipped to the nearest insane asylum. And really… I think I'd agree with them.

A/N: I know, I know, it's been four months and I'm an awful person. On the bright side I've gained plenty of reviews, favourites and follows in the time it took me to actually get round to this, so thank you. All I can say is, College work is a bitch whom I can't avoid. As much as I wish I could. I've still got two assignments and two essays to do, but I thought you'd all appreciate it if I procrastinated by updating this story.

On another note, I've started a Once Upon a Time fic – I know, I'm a twat because I haven't even finished this one but oh well I've done it – and I'd appreciate it (if any of you like OUAT) if you were to review, favourite and follow that story? You'd be an absolute star if you did.

Okay, I'm off to go and give my cat her prescribed tablet. Wish me (and my soon-to-be scraped up hands) luck. Goodnight.

THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone that has reviewed – you have made this story my priority. All reviewers will receive a teaser for the next chapter.

And I am currently looking for a Beta if anyone's interested, just PM me!

Also, there will be swearing throughout the entirety of the story and probably lemons later on 'cause we all love a bit of fruit, don't we? So if you're underage, go away or just don't tell me so then my conscience is clear, 'kay?

Disclaimer: Yep, it's all me, I wrote Twilight (are you kidding me? Of course I didn't). Also, the titles of the chapters are taken from previously mentioned confidence inspiring songs. This chapter is from 'I'm Not Cool' by Sohodolls.

Thanks and kisses, Lianne.