She opened her mouth to speak but was beat out by Jason, whose excited gaze kept darting back and forth between his mom and his dad. "Can Daddy stay the night here, Mama? He said he doesn't have a home yet. He's staying in a motel. Can't he please stay with us?" Jason begged. Lucas shuffled his feet nervously as Aiden echoed his brother's sentiments.
Peyton wanted to yell out 'no', but she couldn't do that to her kids, not when they were so excited to see their dad. She took a deep breath as she tried to decide what to say, keeping her eyes firmly off of Lucas. "Yeah, that is great. You two need to get to bed, though. I believe you were supposed to be in bed by 8," she said sternly, throwing a glare up at Nathan before looking at her kids once more. "Tell you what, I'll let Daddy tuck you in tonight, since it's been so long since you've seen him, and I'll think about letting him stay the night," she said.
The boys cheered and they each took one of Lucas's hands, pulling him up the stairs to their bedroom. Haley, who was still standing in the doorway, the nervousness evident on her face, stepped aside to let them by. Nathan tried to edge out of the room, but Peyton held up a hand. "You better not be thinking of going anywhere, Nathan Scott. I'm not done with you yet," she growled out.
Haley's eyes widened as she heard the tone in Peyton's voice. After being her friend for so long, she knew that was not a tone you want to hear from Peyton, and she knew right now her husband was going to get it. All she needed to do was get out of the way, or she'd go down with Nathan. She looked at her husband and sent him an apolgetic look before taking a seat on the couch, waiting for it all to play out.
Peyton slowly turned to face Nathan, waiting for an explanation that he didn't have. She tapped her foot impatiently and when he didn't say anything, she blew out a sigh. "Why is he here, Nate, and why didn't you at least call me and warn me?" she asked as her spark of anger blew out, leaving nothing but pain and sadness, which she quickly covered by putting up her walls. She fell onto the couch next to Haley, waiting for Nathan's answer.
Haley knew what this meant, too. It meant that the anger had just been a cover for the other emotions and Peyton just didn't have the strength to be angry anymore. Haley put her arm around her best friend, also waiting for her husband'a answer. "Peyton, they're his kids, too and he begged me not to let you know he was here. He just wanted a little bit of time with his kids and knew you would throw him out, with good reason I might add, as soon as you knew he was here," Nathan finally said.
Peyton hung her head, ashamed. She had to admit, that he was right. She had been planning to throw him out of the house as soon as he had come back downstairs. She couldn't do that, though. She knew her kids had missed him and if they woke up in the morning and he was gone they would have questions and she didn't want to look like the bad guy. She knew she had to let him stay, at least until he found a more permanent place to stay that wasn't a motel room. She nodded, slowly. "Yeah, I guess you're right.," she said softly.
Haley and Nathan shared a look. They were both surprised that Peyton had given in so easily. They had expected a lot more yelling, at least. Haley shrugged at her husband, wondering who would be the one to break the silence that had fallen over them. Peyton finally looked up. "Don't be so shocked, guys. I know it was a little selfish of me to want to throw him out. The kids love him and need him and that's what really matters," she said firmly. "You can go, I actually kind of need to talk to Lucas anyway," she said, giving Haley a quick hug before pulling out of her embrace.
Peyton stood and Haley did too, glancing at Nathan before looking back at her best friend. "Listen, in case you get any pains in the stomach or anything, I want you to go straight to the ER, and don't forget to call me. Who knows what could happen after tonight, and I don't want you to take any chances, okay?" she said, looking sternly at Peyton.
Peyton sighed and nodded. "I promise," she said. No one got a chance to speak again before Lucas entered the room. Peyton looked pointedly at Nathan and Haley, who said their goodbyes before leaving the house hand in hand. Peyton watched them leave and kept her gaze in that direction long after she heard the front door close. Lucas finally cleared his throat, bringing Peyton's attention to him. "You can take the couch," she said.
She walked away, headed for the linen closet so she could grab a sheet and some blankets and make up the couch for him. When she re-enetered the living room he was still standing in the same place. She started making up the couch, trying to avoid his gaze. "Are you sure, Peyton? I don't have to stay, really," he said, wishing she would look at him, give him any sign that she was really okay with him staying.
Peyton knew what he wanted and she couldn't give it to him. She finished making up the couch and finally turned to look at him. "I have your pillow, still, the one you used to sleep with. I'll go grab it," she said, skirting the topic as she once again walked past him, this time headed for the stairs. She came back with his pillow and found that he was still standing in the same place. She placed it on the couch and then turned to face him again, waiting for something, although neither of them were exactly sure what.
After a few moments of silence the tension in the air became too much for Peyton to handle. She made to brush past him again so she could head up the stairs, to bed, but this time he reached out, grabbing her arm and forcing her to look up at him. She let out a sigh as he let go, when he was sure she wouldn't leave the room. "I don't know what you want me to say," she said softly, looking anywhere but into his eyes. She couldn't look into his eyes. That would be too hard. If she did she was sure she'd crack, and start asking him why he left. She didn't have much pride left, but she didn't plan on giving it up like that.
Lucas let out a sigh and ran his hands through his hair. "I want you to tell me what you're feeling. Do you really want me to stay? Should I just go? Give me something, Peyton, anything. I want to know what's going through your mind," he said desperately. With her avoiding his gaze he had absolutely no idea what she was thinking, and he just wanted some insight.
Peyton let out a humorless laugh. She could feel herself slowly cracking. "You want me to tell you I'm okay with this? I can't tell you that, Lucas, because that would be a lie. Unless you do want me to lie and tell you everything's fine when it's not, then I really have nothing to say. It's not okay, and I really wish I could tell you to leave, but those boys you just tucked in wouldn't understand. They would see me as the bad guy for making you go away and I can't handle that. Not again," she felt the tears welling up.
Lucas's eyes widened. She was worse than he had thought. Nathan had told him that Peyton wasn't emotionally stable right now, and he had been able to tell that over the phone, but he hadn't expected it to be that bad. He wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and comfort her. He hesitated for a moment before doing just that. He was relieved when Peyton didn't immediately push him away. That gave him hope.
Peyton wanted to shove him away, but she couldn't. She didn't have the strength to. She had been longing for the feeling of his arms around her for so long that she just couldn't reject it right now. He softly asked her what she was talking about. "For two weeks after you left, once I got back from L.A, the boys thought I was the one who forced you to move out. They would barely speak to me. Jason actually told me he hated me. My own son, Lucas, told me he hated me. Do you know how hard that was for me? There was nothing I could do about it, though, because you were gone. I didn't know where you had gone. You just disappeared. I couldn't contact you. I didn't know where you had gone either, until I saw that first article in the paper, about your book. I showed the boys and they eventaully began to accept that you were gone, and it wasn't my fault," she paused. "I wish I could have accepted that," she finally got the strength to push him away.
There were tears running down her cheeks and she wiped furiously at them, keeping her gaze off Lucas's still. Lucas began to apologize, but Peyton didn't want to hear it. "No, Luke, it's too late for that. Four months too late. Your children may forgive you, and accept you back in their lives, but I just can't, okay, I can't. I might be able to tolerate you because I have to, for them, but we can't just go back. I don't even know if I'll ever be able to be friends with you, and if I do get that point, that day will probably be a long time from now," she said before brushing past him.
Lucas wanted to follow her, but knwe better than to push Peyton when she didn't want to be pushed. At least she was allowing him to stay in the house, for now anyway. That was progress. At least, he hoped that was progress. If he pushed, though, he knew she would just end up moving backward instead of forward. So, instead of following his gut instinct, he slipped off his shoes and jeans, and pulled his short off, leaving him only in his boxers as he slid under the blanket on the couch.
Peyton walked into the boys bedroom and saw that they were already asleep. She smiled at the sight of them, looking so peaceful. Even though they both looked almost exactly like Lucas, she loved seeing them. Her boys were the best thing in her life and no matter what was going on with Lucas, they could always make her feel better.
She placed her hand over her stomach. She had been relieved that Lucas hadn't felt the bulge. As he had pulled her into his arms she had been so sure that he would notice and start yelling at her for lying to him. She knew she should have told him, but she hadn't been able to work up the courage. She vowed to tell him sometime soon. After her doctor's appointment, though. She had to make sure the baby was okay before she told him. She couldn't believe she had been so stupid. If anything happened to her baby girl she would never forgive herself.
At least, she hoped it was a girl. She would love the baby no matter what it was, of course, but Lucas already had two boys to teach basketball to. It would be nice if she had a little girl she could do girly things with. Not that Peyton liked to do girly things, but it would be nice to have the option. Besides, she knew Brooke was pulling for a girl, and Brooke would love the little girl to death. Brooke loved her boys, Peyton knew, but Brooke would relate to a little girl so much better.
Peyton gave both of her boys a kiss on the forehead before leaving the room, making sure the door was open a crack. She walked down the hallway and went into her own room, collapsing onto the bed. After a few minutes she sat up, looking across the room at her bookshelf. There was a shelf full of Lucas's first book, right smakc dab in the middle. She didn't want Lucas to know she had them. She didn't want anyone to know she had them. The truth was, she had secretly been purchasing a copy of his bok everytime she saw it in the store. She hadn't read it yet, though. Everytime she picked it up and opened the first page she put it down again. She didn't want to know what it said.
Peyton stood up and walked over to her bookshelf. She still had boxes in her room that she hadn't unpacked yet. She emptied one that had a bunch of her old stuff in it and started putting the books in it, stacking them neatly. When she had put every copy of his book that she owned into the box she closed it up, opting to not write on it. She slid the box on the floor over to her closet, because it was heavy, and then she lifted it up to put on her closet shelf. It was then that the pain started.
Lucas didn't know what to do. There were so many thoughts running through his mind that he couldn't fall asleep. He couldn't believe he was so close to Peyton. After all these months of wanting to hold her close and be near her, he was in the same house as her. If he wanted he could get up and walk upstairs and he could find her. He wondered if she was asleep. He just wanted to look at her. He didn't want to find her awake, though, so he stayed on the couch. He wondered if she was still sleeping in the same room.
He had just closed his eyes, trying to drift off to sleep, when he heard the thump. He jumped up off the couch, running up the stairs before he even thought about it. He checked the boys room first, and found them still sleeping soundly. When he pulled the door almost shut again he ran into the room she had been using. He didn't see anyone immediately, but when he stepped inside he saw her on the floor in her closet, blooks strewn all around her.
Peyton glanced up when she saw him, clutching her stomach in pain. She didn't even care that he was the one who had to save her. She just knew something was wrong and she had to get to the hospital before something happened to the baby. She used one hand to grab at his chest, hoping to feel a shirt, but his chest was bare. She quickly put her hand onto her stomach. "Lucas," she gasped out in pain. "I need to go to the hospital. I was drinking tonight," she manage to speak through the pain.
Lucas just stood there. He didn't get it. She hated the hospital. So why would she willingly ask to go, just because she had been drinking. He couldn't leave the children either. He started to explain this to her, and ask her why she wanted to go, but she cut him off. "I'm pregnant, you idiot. I think somethings going to happen to the baby if you don't get me to the hospital, now," she said angrily before clutching her stomach again, groaning in pain.
A/N: So, Lucas knows about the baby. Will he mad? The better question is: Will there even be a baby, or will her drinking combined with the fall have killed it? Hmm, I dunno, seing as no one gave me any ideas for names or the sex of the baby. I need reviews people. Please, please, please, I'm begging you, leave me good reviews. Thanks!
Disclaimer: Don't own it. Simple as that. I do not own One Tree Hill.