a/n: Guys... Mama has gotten me into Merlin and Logan has ABSOLUTELY become Bradley James in my mind. Goddamn.
This chapter totally would have been out yesterday if I hadn't been distracted by the prospect of West Side Story and KLAINE SEX! Loved Glee last night... Also, the only music I can write this fanfiction to anymore is Adele and the Spring Awakening soundtrack because it's so goddamn sexy!
Look out! Mild sexytimes ahead! Tread carefully! And sorry if it's awful =]
Track 10
Love Song
"Come on up Julian," Harvey said with a smile.
Logan snapped his head to stare wide-eyed at Julian and he wasn't the only one. The Warblers exclaimed and began talking excitedly. Half the room had their heads craned around to stare at the two of them. Every eye followed Julian as he made his way up to the front of the room.
Blaine offered him one of the guitars with a smirk and he took it and sat on the stool facing the room. Logan stared, completely stunned as Julian got comfortable with his guitar sitting next to Blaine in front of the Warblers.
Damn he was sneaky... he'd been complaining about coming to this rehearsal since yesterday.
The room was still buzzing and chattering as Julian smirked at the audience.
"Settle down," Harvey said sternly and the room fell silent in impatient silence. "Whenever you're ready boys."
Blaine began gently picking the guitar and Logan knew exactly what they were going to sing. Julian joined in, layering his own part over Blaine's guitar perfectly. Logan wondered how he had never known Julian played guitar.
And then Julian began to sing.
And Logan thought his heart might burst at how beautiful it was.
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Logan felt like he couldn't breathe. He had heard Julian sing before, but only before he had let that wall down. And suddenly he realized just how much he had been missing. How had he never realized?
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again
His voice was amazing without even trying. It was completely effortless, his voice rising and falling with perfect ease. Julian made singing like an angel look easy.
The song was in complete contrast to Logan's. Logan had been belting and there was so much energy in his performance. Julian's though... Julian's was gentle and sweet with nothing to take away from the raw emotion.
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am young again
The Twins turned and smirked at each other. If there were ever two old souls in Dalton, it was Julian and Logan. But Logan was thinking of other things... if there was anything that had taken Julian's innocence before his time, it was Adam.
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again
Where Logan had looked directly at Julian during the lines that were significant, Julian couldn't bring himself to do it. He didn't know if he could keep singing if he looked up. He felt his heart swell with each word and he was already so scared at how much he was showing, at how vulnerable he was letting himself be.
However far away I will always love you
However long I stay I will always love you
Whatever words I say I will always love you
I will always love you
Logan's eyes widened... those words couldn't mean more to him. Maybe he had always known that it was true and maybe Julian hadn't said it to him directly, but Logan heard truth behind the song. Julian singing those words with so much bare emotion almost had Logan in tears.
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am free again
Julian's voice was rising now and Logan heard a different quality come to his voice as the words went past their own relationship into a more dangerous territory. His voice was just a little strained and Logan saw a change behind his eyes.
Logan knew it... Julian wasn't okay. He didn't know if he ever would be. And now, sitting in front of all these people, Logan could hear it in those words. He couldn't lie, not while he was singing and Logan could hear so much.
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am clean again
Nothing had made Julian feel dirtier than the way Adam had felt about him and the things he had done. But when he was with Logan, it wasn't important anymore. Nothing was important anymore, except him. Julian didn't know how someone could become your whole being in so little time. But then again, Logan had been creeping into his heart for years and there wasn't much further to go for him to be his whole being once they made that leap together.
However far away I will always love you
However long I stay I will always love you
Whatever words I say I will always love you
I will always love you
Blaine began picking gently as Julian strummed the base chords along with him. He looked up for the first time to see Logan's reaction and he thought he might not be able to finish the song. Even from this distance, Julian saw the tears in his eyes. Logan's face broke into a smile when Julian looked at him. But the happiness faded into something a little sadder as Julian looked on. Julian looked away quickly. He didn't want to see the pity that he was sure would come next.
When he began singing again, he was sure that everyone in the room could hear him pouring his heart. But it would be worth it, so long as Logan heard it too. He didn't know how to let Logan fix things, but he did know that music would get this message across.
However far away I will always love you
However long I stay I will always love you
Whatever words I say I will always love you
His voice rose with each word, hitting each note with ease. He didn't know why he did it but he looked up on those last words to and his eyes locked onto Logan's immediately.
I will always love you
Julian couldn't look away. He was strumming mindlessly as Blaine played the last few notes, letting the song fade. Logan looked back at Julian all the while. He didn't think he'd ever be able to describe the feeling he had while he was listening to Julian sing. There was that wild joy, of course, at Julian having said that he loved him. But layered on top was a terrible sadness because he knew there were just some things he didn't know how to fix yet.
When Blaine finished plucking at his guitar, there was a beat as the room sat in stunned silence before someone started clapping and one by one the room joined in. Julian finally managed to tear his eyes away from Logan as he smiled at the room while the noise grew rapidly. The applause didn't stop growing as everyone came out of their dazes. They had neverheard a performance like that in the Warblers Hall. There was something simple and effortless about the way that Julian sang that made his performance truly remarkable.
It took Logan a moment to remember that he was supposed to clap too. He blinked away a few tears and began applauding with the rest of the room. Julian made his way to the back of the room again as he was followed by whoops from the other boys to where Logan was sitting.
Although Logan stared at him the entire time Julian didn't look at him once. His face was just slightly pink and he sat next to him without a word, his hands were fists resting on his knees. Logan wanted to smile, but that didn't feel right. He didn't think there was a way of expressing all the things he was feeling right now.
Logan took Julian's silence as his cue to not comment either. Instead he slid his hand over Julian's fist. At first Julian didn't move, but when he relaxed at his touch Logan lifted his hand to his lips and pressed his lips against the back of it. Julian's eyes drifted shut at the contact and let Logan lace their fingers together and drop them between them.
Julian still didn't look at Logan but he squeezed Logan's hand in return. That small gesture affected him too much. He swallowed back that lump in his throat because he just couldn't cry anymore... he'd done far too much of that already. But he couldn't help it, he had never seen Logan do anything so tender, especially when it came to Julian where he felt like everything was heat and passion.
Julian glanced up, people were starting to quiet down after the stunning performance. He caught Kurt's eye who gave him an incredibly smug grin, like he'd known this would happen all along. It didn't annoy Julian as much as it should, even when Kurt leaned in to Blaine who had made it back to his chair, clearly recounting what he had witnessed.
Harvey was the last person to stop applauding as he stood in front of the group looking back at Julian.
"That was..." Mr. Harvey hesitated, trying to find the right word, "incredible. Really Julian, I'm glad we finally managed to rope you into this."
"He volunteered this time, if I recall," Medel reminded him from where she was sitting a little aside.
"That's true," Mr. Harvey smiled. "But we still have quite a few solos to get through... Blaine since you're up, would you like to go next?"
Blaine glanced back at the two boys in the back, and then back at Harvey, "Actually Mr. Harvey... I think I'm going to focus on the solo if that's alright with you."
The Warblers all looked up in surprise.
"Really, Blaine?" Ms. Medel said, "Kurt, are you okay with this? I was sure you two would be fighting for the duet?"
Kurt looked up from where he was sitting. "Oh no Ms. Medel... in fact I'm feeling a little ill," he said giving a pathetically fake cough. The Warblers were starting to catch on and they started chuckling. Kurt continued in his business-like tone, "I couldn't sing right now if I wanted to. I'm sure I'll be better by tomorrow."
"Uhm..." Ms. Medel said, at a loss for words. Kurt had never bypassed a chance to have the spotlight once in her short acquaintance with the boy. "Alright..."
Harvey looked suspicious, but not angry necessarily. "I guess, that just leaves Reed," he said looking at Reed who was sitting next to the twins.
"I surrender," Reed said throwing his hands up and the whole Warbler hall erupted in laughter.
Julian and Logan looked at the three of them with curious looks. Harvey rolled his eyes and shook his head.
"Why am I not surprised... it's not like you've ever kept your personal lives out of warblers before, why should I expect you to now?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," Kurt said innocently.
"Wait a second," Logan said annoyed, making everyone look at him, "I want them to perform! I don't want to get it by default."
"And if Julian wins the vote and you don't?" Medel asked, her eyes glinting as she stood and looked back at Logan and Julian. Logan opened his mouth to speak, then closed it and crossed his arms. "That's what I thought... besides, I don't think you two would have lost that duel easily."
Harvey held the bridge of his nose, his eyes shut, "I'm not happy about this... but I can't deny that you two would make a very..." he waved his hand vaguely, looking for the best way to say this, "striking pair for the finale."
"Right, then," Medel said, glowing with happiness, "Can I assume that you all are happy with Logan and Julian as our soloists for the final duet?"
There were general words of agreement and a few "Hell yes!"s from the Stuart section.
"Then there's really nothing else we have planned, we had set aside the time for solos but seeing as we've settled it I guess you're free to go," she said happily. "Julian, Logan, we can talk about song choices tomorrow and we'll work on the arrangements together."
The two boys nodded to her.
"Then, off you go boys," she said waving them away as the room became a flurry of movement as the boys rushed for the door, excited to have the rest of the afternoon off.
As the group of boys began to leave Julian made to stand-up, but Logan, who still had his hand, held him back. Julian stared at him questioningly but Logan just smiled sweetly.
Almost everyone who passed congratulated the two on their win or cuffed their shoulders with some words of encouragement.
Blaine and Kurt walked past, both of them beaming. "Did you two do this?" Logan asked annoyed, "It's no fun if we win by default."
"Oh please," Kurt said, "We wanted you to sing together and we would have kicked your butts-" but Blaine who was standing behind him was shaking his head at them "-so we had to make different arrangements."
Kurt walked out next to Reed and Blaine hung back for a moment.
"You guys would have won, hands-down," he said, "Honestly, probably the two greatest performances I've ever seen in this room."
To Blaine's immense surprise, Julian looked a little embarrassed. Logan smiled, "Thanks, Blaine."
He joined David and Wes as they passed and slowly the rest of the Warblers filtered out after them until it was only Julian, Logan, Harvey and Medel.
Medel noted the two boys lingering and tapped Harvey on the shoulder, "Lunch?" she said, her eyebrows raised trying to imply that it was time to go.
Harvey looked around the room and when he saw the two boys and he caught on quickly enough. "Yeah, sure," he said as he packed up their sheet music and followed Medel out.
Finally alone, Logan turned to Julian who was looking at their hands instead of at Logan.
"Julian," Logan said quietly and brown eyes met green. Logan lost his train of thought as those eyes caught him off guard. Julian looked so... nervous.
"That was so incredibly... beautiful," Logan said smiling. Julian smiled for a moment before standing, their hands falling apart as Julian walked away from him. Logan, confused and worried, stood and followed him, quickly catching up.
A few feet ahead of him, Logan managed to take a step in front of him stopping Julian from walking any further. Julian stopped abruptly, his hands on Logan's chest, like he was going to push him. But he didn't, instead he splayed his fingers across the fabric of his blazer. He would only look at his hands and refused to look up at Logan's questioning eyes.
Logan, completely thrown off by this reaction, reached up and took both of Julian's hands in his own, holding them where they were between them.
"What is it?" Logan asked quietly. Julian shook his head just barely, each breath coming too fast and too shallow. "Julian, look at me," Logan said. And Julian looked up at Logan's worried expression. "What's wrong?" he asked quietly
Julian didn't respond, instead he kissed Logan with a surprising amount of force. Logan was surprised and wanted to stop him but Julian pressed further, pushing Logan backwards until his back hit the piano. Logan tried to keep focus and remember that Julian was acting strangely, but it was hard to focus on anything when Julian's tongue was doing that. Logan gave in and dropped his Julian's hands to pull him closer by his waist while Julian's slid up his chest to hang around his neck.
Suddenly Julian pulled back. Logan's brows were furrowed as Julian pulled his arms away from Logan's neck and took a step backwards.
"What's going on, Jules?" Logan asked, brushing Julian's bangs away from his forehead.
Julian's eyes were wide, almost fearful. He stood there, staring at Logan, trying to make the words come out.
"I love you," Julian breathed.
Shocked for a moment, Logan only stared. And then the rush of joy that Logan felt at those words was indescribable. Logan's smile grew and he breathed the smallest laugh. He held out one of his hands. Julian took it without a word, clinging to it as Logan pulled him close again.
"Why does that scare you so much?" Logan asked gently.
Julian had to blink a few tears away at those words. "I don't know," he said, his voice cracking.
Logan kissed his forehead before pulling him into a hug. Julian wrapped his arms around his waist and let Logan envelop him. Julian was shaking just barely in his arms.
"I love you so much, Julian," Logan whispered into his hair. Julian took in a shaky breath and held on to the one thing he cared about more than anything else in the world.
Logan wanted to just be thrilled at having heard those words from Julian, but he was too distracted with worry. He didn't want Julian to be afraid of how he felt for him. He had spent too long being afraid. Logan never wanted him to hold back. He wanted every part of Julian, no restrictions. He didn't want to think there was anything Julian was keeping from him.
Julian pulled away and murmured, "I'm sorry."
Logan's eyebrows were still drawn together in worry, "Don't be."
Logan held his face in his hands, brushing his thumb across his cheek and staring into his eyes before leaning in terribly slowly to brush his lips against Julian's. Julian's eyes drifted shut and he relaxed as Logan pulled away.
"I wonder if I'll ever get used to how incredible it feels every time you do that," Julian murmured, his eyes still closed and Logan's face still only a breath away.
"I know I'll never get used to it," Logan said. Julian breathed a shaky laugh before wrapping his hands around Logan's neck and kissing him again. Logan's hands dropped to his waist and he deepened the kiss. Julian stepped forward and stood on his toes so that their bodies were brushing just barely.
Logan was the one to pull away this time. "You'll tell me if there's something wrong, won't you?" he asked, "I want to so badly to be able to help you."
Julian looked nervous, "There's nothing wrong..."
Logan eyed him, one eyebrow cocked. Julian laughed and relaxed a little. "You have no idea how much you're helping already."
It was surprisingly easy for Julian and Logan to fall into a relationship. They lived down the hall from one another and they had a few classes together so they saw each other enough. Plus having Warbler practices together was an added bonus, something that Logan thought he enjoyed more than Julian did. Sure, Julian was happy enough when they were rehearsing their duet (which was turning out rather spectacular to the pleasure of Harvey and Medel) but when Julian was forced to hum and sway he was not the happiest of campers.
"You know I'm never doing this for you again," Julian said after one rehearsal a week or so after he had come back to Dalton.
"Oh," Logan said in mock surprise, "You're doing this for me? What a sweetie-pie you are." Julian shoved him as they walked back to Stuart. "I already know that you've agreed to do Nationals if we make it, so don't try to pull that on me, Jules," Logan said as they made their way back to Stuart house together.
"Can't get anything past you, Lo!" Julian said sarcastically reaching out to pinch Logan's cheek.
Logan swatted his hand away and Julian laughed grabbing Logan's hand and slinging it around his own shoulders.
Derek saw the interaction from the window of the common room and smiled to himself. He had been unsure how things would fall now that the two were finally dating. He was extremely happy when they managed their first fight well enough which happened only a few hours later. Derek had had no idea what would happen when they inevitably would find something to argue over.
It had been something stupid. Logan had had an argument with a teacher over a point in history class and Julian had spoken up and agreed with the teacher. His argument was actually more effective than the teachers and Logan sat quietly in huffy silence for the rest of class.
Derek had been in the class too so he was expecting something when he came back. The voices rising from the kitchen didn't surprise him at all as he stepped into Stuart.
"It was embarrassing!"
"It was fine, no one cares except for you!" Julian replied.
"Derek!" Logan called as Derek tried to sneak past them unnoticed, "Was that, or was that not, humiliating?"
"Not involved," Derek said throwing his hands in the air as he passed them.
He stepped into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee as the fight continued in the hall behind him. Frankly, the argument was stupid, but that had never stopped the two of them from screaming at each other before.
A hell of a lot of shouting and ten minutes later they were in Logan's room. Julian tried to remember if fighting with Logan used to make him feel like this.
"That was fun," Julian murmured. For once, he had Logan against a wall as he pressed their bodies together, "Like the good old days."
Logan smirked and slung his hands casually behind his neck as Julian leaned in terribly slowly for a kiss. He only just brushed their lips together. Logan shivered and opened his eyes to see Julian only inches away. He kept his eyes open from then on because he didn't want to miss a moment of seeing the way Julian's eyes were smoldering as he began undoing his tie. He did it excruciatingly slowly, his eyes never leaving Logan's, loosening it, bit by bit, pulling the tie from side to side as he held their lips so close without actually kissing him.
Logan leaned in to kiss him but Julian pulled back just barely. Logan understood and held still as Julian leaned into him and let their lips brush over each other. It was open and slow and that combined with Julian slowly untucking his shirt might have been the sexiest moment of Logan's life so far. Julian nibbled Logan's lower lip just barely before sucking on it gently, still with his eyes on Logan's, while his fingers brushed the bare skin above Logan's hips now exposed.
Logan whined as he felt Julian's fingers slide from his hips to meet in the middle where his fingers gently brushed across the line of hair that led south. Julian began running his fingers over the curves and lines of his abs, unbuttoning Logan's shirt as he went.
Julian pulled away with a dangerous smirk. Logan, about to complain, shut his mouth when Julian sat back on his heels, contemplating the skin he had exposed. Logan's shirt was completely undone, hanging at his sides showing a sliver of tan skin, chest hair and cut abs. Julian's splayed his hands flat across his abs and Logan took a sharp intake of breath. Julian ran his hands along Logan's stomach, pulling the shirt with him, until they were holding his hips. Julian leaned in slowly and brushed his lips over Logan's hip, then his tongue ran a trail across his stomach, only a few inches above Logan's trousers, to his other hip where he placed another sweet kiss.
Logan braced himself against the wall as a thousand thoughts began swirling through his head. Julian was veryclose to some verysensitive areas and he didn't seem to have any qualms about using his mouth.
Julian ran his teeth lightly across his hip now, relishing in the tiny noise Logan made in response to it. Then he dipped his tongue into Logan's belly button and Logan had to moan.
"Julian..." Logan managed to say, his voice husky already.
Julian stood, a glint in his eyes. He took a hold of Logan's tie and tugged him down, but paused only a breath away from his lips.
"Yes, Lo?" Julian said, his lips brushing against Logan's with every word.
Logan gave up on restraint and crushed his lips against Julian's. Without much effort he managed to turn them around so that Julian's back was against the wall and their bodies were flush against each other.
Julian smirked and didn't protest as Logan practically ripped Julian's shirt open in his haste to get it off. With Julian's shirt finally open, he pressed against him again, kissing him hard as he gripped Julian's bare hips. Julian's bare skin against his was fueling him more than anything.
Logan bit on Julian's lip and he inadvertently bucked his hips against Logan's. Logan pushed Julian's hips against the wall hard enough that Julian couldn't move. Julian's eyebrows furrowed for a moment wondering if he had done something wrong before Logan pressed his own hips against Julian.
Julian gasped as he let that feeling sink in. Logan took it as his opportunity to kiss him hard while he began moving his hips against Julian's, gently at first, then harder as the kiss grew more fervent.
Julian gave up on the kiss and wrapping his arms around Logan's shoulders, resting his head on Logan's shoulder as he was pressed further into the wall.
And then, without warning, Logan pulled away. He ran his hands through his hair and left them there staring at Julian's exposed chest.
"Sorry..." he panted, still staring at Julian's body instead of his face.
"You keep doing that!" Julian said irritated as Logan took another step back.
"Doing what?" Logan asked, letting his hands drop.
"You're always the one pushing things forward and you receive zero complaints, yet you always stop yourself. You can't just dry hump me for 10 minutes and then leave it at that!" Julian snapped.
Logan blushed crimson at Julian's blunt language, "Well... I don't want to do anything you don't wan-"
"How many times have we been through this?" Julian asked, taking a step towards Logan.
Logan just shrugged his shoulders. Julian had specified on more than one occasion that he was ready for anything.
"Are you not ready? Is that the problem?" Julian asked, his voice less harsh now as the possibility had only just occurred to him.
"No!" Logan said hurriedly, "I'm ready for everything... well maybe not everything...not tonight anyways."
"Then there are no problems?" Julian asked, his eyebrow cocked as he took another step forward and got a good grasp on Logan's belt buckle.
"No problems," Logan breathed, very much aware of where Julian's hand was.
Julian tugged him forward by said belt-buckle and Logan staggered forward a step, "Good... now take off your pants."
Logan obeyed rather hastily.
Sweaty, tired, and tangled in each other, they lay in Logan's bed. Logan was still breathing heavily and holding onto Julian who was lying exactly where he had settled after crawling back up Logan's body.
"I think you might just be perfect," Logan said gently, his breathing and heartrate settling back down to a normal pace. Logan was tracing patterns across Julian's back who was lying half on Logan's chest with his head resting on his shoulder.
Julian smiled, "I'm going to make sure you remember saying that when you're not post-coital."
Logan laughed to himself and pressed a kiss to Julian's hair.
"Hey Logan?" Julian asked.
"Mm?" Logan asked lazily, Julian was tired too.
"About everything..." Julian said, putting special emphasis on the word.
"Everything being..." Logan began.
"Everything."
"What about it?" Logan asked eyeing Julian.
"I think we should just do it... when it's right," Julian said, "Whenever it comes naturally. I don't want it to be some planned out thing."
Logan nodded, "Okay... I like that."
"Good..." Julian said before pressing a kiss against his bare shoulder and pulling himself closer to Logan.
Unfortunately, not all of their fights were as harmless. A week away from regionals and halfway through their time together before Julian had to leave, a more serious issue came up.
"Why won't you just go on a date with me?" Logan asked, storming into Julian's room ahead of the other boy.
"You know I hate being recognized! I just don't think it would be particularly romantic with a 14-year old girl interrupting every twenty minutes," Julian shot back dropping himself onto his bed.
"You don't want to be recognized in public? Or you don't want to be recognized in public with your boyfriend?" Logan asked, standing in front of the bed with his hands on his hips.
Julian scoffed, "I'm not even going to answer that."
"You probably should think about answering it, Julian," Logan snapped, "Because I'd really like to know when you plan on coming out."
Julian sat shocked. He had talked to Carmen about that very issue the night before last but he hadn't told Logan his decision yet.
He braced himself for the response to the words he knew he had to say. A few memories of Logan's rage came to mind but he shoved them aside before he lost his courage.
"I'm going to wait until after the movie finishes filming..." he said hesitantly.
Logan dropped his hands by his side, and didn't speak for a moment. Julian wouldn't look at Logan's face, instead he focused on his shaking hands which didn't do much to ease his conscience or quell that nagging fear.
"You decided that?" Logan asked, his voice quiet and the emotions behind it unrecognizable.
"Yeah," Julian said, "The night before last."
"When were you going to tell me this?" Logan asked, his voice quiet.
Julian shrugged, too guilty to look at the pain in his face, "I was going to..." He wanted to sound defensive, but he just sounded pathetic.
"That could be months," Logan said. He didn't sound angry, he just sounded terribly sad.
"I know..." Julian said, his voice quiet.
Logan didn't know what to do with himself. He knew he probably looked dumb standing there in the middle of the room but he didn't want to leave and he didn't want to stay. Forcing himself to do something he turned his back as if he would head for the door but he couldn't stop himself. He turned back around.
"Are you ashamed of me?" Logan asked, his voice soft.
To Julian's horror he wasn't saying in an antagonistic way, he meant it. He actually thought that after all that wanting, Julian could be ashamed of the one thing he'd always dreamt of having.
"No! God, no," Julian tried to assure him, "It would just create so much trouble for me during the shoot. There would be paparazzi everyday and it would bother the whole crew, not just me." The argument felt weak even as it was coming out of his mouth.
Logan nodded and he began to walk out not stopping this time, "I understand... it's fine."
"Logan, wait!" Julian called after him but Logan didn't slow down. Julian walked to the door, he stepped outside just as he saw Logan's door close behind him.
With a sigh of defeat Julian turned back into his room and lay back on his bed. He stared up at the ceiling, wondering at how he managed to fuck everything in his life up.
That night, Julian was already asleep when he was awoken by two arms being wrapped around his waist. He leaned into the touch subconsciously before he was fully awake.
"I'm sorry to wake you," Logan whispered, only inches away.
"S'fine," Julian said, nuzzling his face into Logan's chest without opening his eyes. Logan watched him do it and it looked like he was fully intending on going back to sleep.
"I'm sorry," Logan whispered before Julian could drift off.
Julian opened his eyes to Logan's chest, so he peaked up at Logan in the dark. Once his eyes adjusted to the dark he noticed that Logan had bags under his eyes. Julian didn't know what time it was but he was willing to bet Logan hadn't slept.
"No," Julian mumbled, "I'm sorry."
"No," Logan said firmly, "I know that it's already so hard to deal with that sort of thing without this added stress," he was whispering but he sounded wide awake, "And I know how important this movie is to you."
"It is important to me," Julian said slowly, letting himself start to slip back into sleep, "But you're more important."
"Really?" Logan asked with a smile.
"Mhm," Julian said letting his eyes drift shut for a moment, "You shouldn't have to..."
His voice trailed off as his eyes drifted shut. Logan wanted to let him sleep but his curiosity got the better of him. "Shouldn't have to what, Julian?" Logan prompted, putting his hand on Julian's face as his eyes opened again.
"Shouldn't have to deal with this... me..." Julian was mumbling, "I come with too many... you don't deserve it... no one does..." he was barely keeping his eyes open as he murmured half-asleep, "I'm not worth it..." Julian's eyes fell closed again as he spoke the last words.
Logan's eyebrows were furrowed. "Jules," Julian didn't open his eyes. "Jules," he said more forcefully this time and he got a response this time as Julian opened his eyes again. "You don't really believe that do you?" Logan asked, his voice serious.
"Believe what?" Julian asked squinting up at Logan.
Logan shook his head, "I'm sorry I woke you, go back to sleep Jules." Logan made to leave but Julian reached a hand out to pull Logan closer by the waist, "No... stay here... you're warm and I like you..." Julian murmured, mostly asleep now.
Logan couldn't help but smile like an idiot at how adorable Julian could be, and that might have been the sweetest thing anyone had ever said. He let himself gaze at Julian's sleeping form but he couldn't keep his earlier words away from his thoughts for long. He felt like he went a little deeper into Julian each day. He didn't know if there was an end to the layers, but he knew that he was going to do whatever he could to make Julian understand that he was worth something... that he meant more to Logan than he could possibly comprehend.
a/n: My dears! One chapter left! I'm pretty sad to be finishing this because I really loved writing this fanfiction... but all that's left is Regionals and then bye bye to baby Jules :( Our poor boys...
~Liz