Ugh...busybusybusy! To save my brain from being deep fried, I wrote this. So Hungary sends Shinatty a huge bundle of Yaoi manga disguised as "boring" books... yeah. Thank you for reading my fanfiction!
Dear Hungary:
Hi, Hungary. I really appreciate your effort of buying me such an expensive and heavy gift for my birthday. After all, 1000 dollars' worth of Yaoi manga couldn't have been light to carry for a young girl like you for even I, a grown man, have trouble with the sheer weight of it. However, you see, my issue with the gift is not the weight, but more of the content. To be exact, the covers of the mangas. I'm pretty confident that no Manga artist would be idiotic enough to name their work Holt McDougal Algebra I,Great Expectations, or SMARTBoard operating manual. The best title I saw was Sex for Dummies, but I'm sure that the sex here is NOT 156 f***ing pages of Gay sex!
Perhaps a description (and I'm copying your note word for word here, Hungary) better than: "sTuddY maTERyal 4 ur nxt tst, Sinati-tan 8P" would have helped me understand the content of the gift better, Miss Hungary. And my problem with the note is not with the misleading info, NOT the terrible spelling, not even the fact that you spelled my name my name wrong, but... What do you mean "4 ur nxt tst"? I'm already a good 30 year out of college, and my dear China-xianggong (he forces me to call him that now...) does not give me time to "study"... he becomes one with me whenever he wants, and on an irregular schedule.
And by the way, is the book titled "Biomedical Engineering for Elementary Students" a doujinshi you drew of me and my dear China-xianggong (Ugh I'm sick or calling him that...)? Because all I can see is a chubby man that looks suspiciously like me with a hello kitty headwear being topped by a ponytailed man. If you did (and I'm sure you did), then I have to admire you for that, because it takes quite an amount of patience to draw 198 full-scaled pages of Yaoi sex and you will most likely face death threats from the Asians for drawing their precious onii-chan/aniki/gege with another man... especially me.
Oh, another thing. How am I supposed to F***ING react when my 11 year old daughter opens Biomedical Engineering for Elementary Students, reads every page of it, and asks for "study material"? And no, letting her "join the army of Yaoi fangirls" and filming my becoming one with Mother China is not an option, nor is taking her on a "field trip" to a world meeting. The best plan I can think of right now is whacking her head with a hammer and hoping she'd get amnesia, but 1st, I'm not doing that to my daughter, and 2nd, if I do that, my ex-wife will come and WHOOP MY ASS. (Yes I'm scared of my ex-wife!)
Please Reply
Shiyi Song (Or Shinatty-Chan)
I probably won't write Hungary's reply to this, but if you guys really want me to I can... Comments, suggestion, and questions for Shinatty are welcome! Thank you for reading my humble fanfiction!