You've all heard it before, Twilight is not mine, the characters are not mine, no matter how much I wish they were.

GUILT

I'm having the day off school, Charlie is at work, would you like to come over?

I hit the send button, and let out a huge sigh.

"That's that" I said to myself, "you made your decision, now to go through with it". Strangely enough I did feel better, making the decision is the hard part, once it's made, following through is easy enough, well, in most cases anyway.

I figured I should do the responsible thing and text Charlie to let him know I wasn't at school, they would call him soon enough anyway,

Dad, I wasn't feeling well and have stayed home from school, don't panic if they call.

Send. I headed downstairs to wait for my visitor and grab something to settle my nerves, I decided a glass of water and some crackers would be best, probably the only thing I could keep down in my current state. As I sat at my usual place at the table I heard my phone beep, my heart started pounding,

You okay? want me to come home?

Thank god it was just Charlie, I know he worries about me, but sometimes I wonder whether he realises that I am an adult now, and he doesn't need to look after me,

No, I think it's just a 24hr tummy bug, I'll be fine, don't stress, don't hurry home, I'm fine.

The last thing I need is for him to come home and find me healthy (well, mostly) and not alone, that would go down like a lead balloon. I put my glass in the sink and wiped up the crumbs that the crackers had left on the table,

What is taking him so long, Seems like I have an issue with my patience now too, I thought to myself dryly.

I decided to wait in the lounge, who knows how long he would be and at least it would be more comfortable. Turning the television on I flicked through the channels, great, infomercials on every channel, no wonder housewives get so bored. I picked the one with the cheesiest looking presenter and hoped laughing at his feeble attempt to sell me the newest greatest invention ever would distract me from my impending doom. As he tried to explain how his little device would make my life so much easier I heard a knock at the door, it startled me and I nearly knocked over the lamp beside me in my haste to get off the couch. With my hand on the door knob I took a deep breath,

You can do this Bella Swan.

Putting on my best smile I pulled the door open, and there standing in front of me, was the reason I still knew how to smile. Jacob. I threw myself into his arms and gave him a huge squeeze,

"Wow, really missed me last night huh?" He asked giving me a quick kiss, "I sure missed you"

"I was a bit tired this morning and decided that my intellect could survive one day away from school, and figured what better way to spend my free time than with my amazing boyfriend. I hope you don't mind?" I asked,

"Of course not, to tell the truth I've been terribly lonely during the day since school finished" Jacob attended the school on the reservation and they finished two weeks before Forks High. He grabbed my hand and pulled me inside,

"So what are we planning to do today? Bikes? Hiking? Cliff diving? Movie? I promise I won't fall asleep this time"

"Well I thought we could just hang out here together today, take it easy, I told Charlie that I was sick so I figure going out in public is a pretty bad idea"

And I'm scared I might run into Edward Cullen again.

"Sounds good to me, anything on TV?" he asked plonking himself down on the couch, grabbing the remote control.

"Infomercials, really riveting stuff" I replied sarcastically "There are some dvd's I got the other night from the video store there, I haven't watched the horror yet" walking over to the cabinet I looked over at Jacob, he looked so happy and I had no doubt that there was nowhere else in the world he would rather be right now, I felt a knot of guilt tighten in my stomach,

How can you do this to him, don't you think he deserves to know?

I winced, stupid conscience, just shut up already. I pulled out the dvd and threw it at the enormous guy on my couch,

"Look okay?" I asked, it had a pretty girl on the cover and a guy in a mask covered in blood, just his type of movie.

"Looks great, this actress is so hot" he said "but nowhere near as hot as you" he added, his russet coloured skin darkening,

"flattery will get you everywhere" I threw back, winking.

"Thats what I'm hoping" he said hopping up to put the dvd on "You got any munchies?" he asked, damn this boy could eat, I'm not sure there would be enough food in the cupboards to satisfy his appetite. I walked into the kitchen and opened the pantry doors, luckily there was a huge bag of Doritos at the back, I pulled them out and closed the doors, as I turned I noticed my phone still on the counter top, I picked it up and turned it off, I didn't expect him to message again, but who can guess what the new impatient Edward might do, with my phone off my mind eased a little, but not the ball of guilt still lodged in my stomach.

"All yours greedy guts" I laughed throwing him the bag, I settled myself in beside him and he put his arm around my shoulders drawing my closer, I could smell his skin, earthy and warm, I took a deep breath breathing him in, it was nice being with him like this, easy and carefree, his overheated skin against mine, I was lucky to have him, I wasn't going to jeopardise this.

We watched the movie in silence, jumping when the bad guy jumped out of the shadows with an axe, laughing at the dodgy acting of the 'hot' actress, after the bad guy had been killed, the hero kissed his girl and the credits had rolled I looked up at Jacob to see that he was staring directly at me,

"You really do have the most beautiful eyes Bells" he said softly, lifting his hand up to brush my hair from my face,

Just like Edward used to.

I reached up and kissed him hard on the mouth,

See conscience, I love Jacob!

I wound my hand in his long hair, moving my mouth against his with more urgency, I knew exactly how to get Edward out of my head. Jacob pulled his head back.

"Charlie?" he asked, his voice low and husky,

"Won't be home til late" I replied planting small kisses down his neck, I lifted my face to be level with his,

"Jacob, I love you" I said looking into his dark eyes, the look on his face said it all, complete exultation and desire, he scooped me up in his arms and carried my towards the stairs,

"You have no idea how long I have waited for you to say that" he said softly as he bowed his head down to kiss me, it was soft, slow, and full of emotion.

We lay there spent afterwards, catching our breaths, wrapped around one another, our clothes littered around the floor, blankets bundled at the foot of the bed. We didn't get a lot of chances to be together like this, and the times we did were nice, but this time it had been.....................intense. Whatever my words had done to Jacob, I liked it.

"I love you Bella Swan" Jacob whispered into my ear, kissing me along my jawline,

"I love you too Jacob Black" I murmured back.

We were snapped out of our bliss by an urgent beeping,

"Damn, thats my phone" Jacob growled, rolling over to retrieve it out of his discarded jeans. I marveled at his muscles as they rippled down his back, running my fingers gently along up spine, I heard him sigh as I traced the lines across his shoulders and back down his ribs,

"You have the most amazing touch you know?" he said pressing away at his phone, "Crap, it's my dad, Harry Clearwater's had a heart attack, he needs me to take him to the hospital" I felt his back tense under my fingertips,

"Oh my god, is he okay" I asked sitting up, Harry was a very close friend of both Charlie and Billy, and so was his wife Sue,

"It doesn't say, I better go and get Dad, he'll be pretty anxious" Jacob jumped up and began to collect his clothes from various points around the room, "I'm really sorry I can't stay, this afternoon was amazing" he said pulling his shirt over his head,

"That's okay, I understand, give Sue my love and tell Harry I hope he gets better soon" I said sitting on the edge of the bed, Jacob leaned over and kissed the edge of my mouth, I put my hand up behind his neck and pulled him closer,

"I do really wish I could stay, and that is not helping" he admonished, pulling away, "I'll message and let you know how Harry is, I love you" he leaned in and pecked me on the cheek, turning quickly he was out of the door before I could say another word, worry etched onto his smooth brown face.

I decided I better get cleaned up and think about something for dinner, I'm sure the neighbours could hear my stomach rumble from next door. I picked up all the clothes from the floor and threw them in the laundry basket, picked up my blankets and threw them back on my bed, I grabbed my toiletries bag and some clean clothes and headed into the bathroom for a quick shower.

After making myself presentable again, I went down to the kitchen and looked through the fridge to see what I could cook up, there was some chicken in the freezer so I decided on fried chicken and salad, as I pulled what I needed out of the pantry and placed it all the counter, I noticed my phone still sitting there, turned off, I quickly turned it back on to see if Jacob had messaged with news about Harry. I had one message, opening the inbox I was surprised to see it wasn't from Jacob,

9 hours down, 38 to go, I hope this means you are thinking it through, not ignoring me, that would break my heart. I'm sorry for annoying you like this but you are all I can think about. I love you.

I slammed the phone down on the counter, so this was how it was going to be then, for the next 38 hours he was going to message me until I gave in and responded.

He can't stop thinking about you, just like the way you can't stop thinking about him.

I can stop thinking about him, I will stop thinking about him. I made a huge commitment today in finally telling Jacob that I loved him, followed by the most amazing sex we had ever had, I felt like our relationship had turned a corner, like it had grown even stronger, the look on Jacob's face when I had said those words flickered through my memory, like he was the happiest man on the face of the planet at that moment.

I felt the knot of guilt grow bigger, would I have told Jacob that I loved him if Edward hadn't returned? Was it just a knee jerk reaction? Was I really telling Jacob that I loved him or was I trying to convince myself that I didn't love Edward anymore.

--------------------------------------------

So please read and review, I'm begging you!

Will Bella tell Jacob the truth?, Will Edward drive Bella insane via text message?, Will I stop using this stupid voiceover dialect? Those answers and more next time in Everything's Different :D