An Accidental Event

by Yamamato

Minato made a small mistake with the seal, nothing major; except that small mistake gave Naruto a bloodline so devastating, it will rock the Elemental Countries for centuries... let's not forget all the little surprises on the way, too.

7. Bad First Impressions

Chapter Seven, Bad First Impressions

I AM BACK PEOPLE! IT'S TIME TO CELIBRATE! –Red and green balloons fall from the ceiling music is playing as a lot of random non-descript people dance around- Okay, okay! That's enough it's not that big of a deal! –People walk out-

Just have to point this out. My computer says that Shikaku is spelled as 'Shitake' how strange…

A quick announcement… this fic is taking priority over my other one(s), like The Reaver, until completion. So that means updates for those fics will be sporadic. Other than that…

YES! I'VE GOTTEN PAST THE 100 MARK! IT'S TIME TO CELIBRATE PEOPLE!

–Red, white and blue balloons fall from the ceiling. There's music playing and a whole lot of random non-descript people are dancing around-

REVIEWER RESPONSE IS A GO!

BETA NOTE: Fanboy, stop placing these in! They are against the rules! If you want to reply to reviews, than do it correctly!

FINE! BUT STOP CALLING ME FANBOY!

Disclaimer; if I owned Naruto they would worship the great lord Jell. But since I don't we just have to settle with them worshiping The Log.

A little warning, the first scene is kind of confusing.

Red Chakra enveloped his body. His wounds close with a hiss, healing so fast that wisps of smoke arose from the boy's skin. He turned his body around to face the doorway, one tail of red Chakra lazily whipping around as he does so. He focused his enraged eyes on the man in front of him.

As he takes a step forward, the man in front of him takes a step back. He takes another step forward; the man drops the bloody kunai in his hand onto the floor. He takes another step forward, and the man falls to his knees pleading for his life. He pleads with tears in his eyes, "I'm sorry! I never wanted to hurt you. They took her from me; I did what I had to do!" In the boy's enraged state, he ignores the man's tears, and his pleas.

He takes the final step forward and raised his clawed hand in preparation to end the man's life, but instead he took a frantic step back at a sudden sensation. Sadness and an undertone fear. Overwhelming sadness struck him in an instant. Not sadness of his impending death, but sadness for his daughter.

He saw himself through the man's eyes. His bubbling red cloak, his blood stained shirt, his clawed hands, thickened whisker marks, blood red eyes- everything. Then he saw himself stumble backwards with fear and sadness etched on his face. He felt a small sense of hope flutter in his chest, but that's quickly overcome by confusion. Why isn't he killing me? Did he forgive me?

That thought was quickly lost when the cloak around the boy released another great burst. Then the boy saw lights all around him, in the nearby buildings, out in the streets, and right in front of him a blinding light. So numerous they are in the dark; they are like stars in the night sky, and the one in front of him, the sun.

Then he remembers. He remembers his first thought, he remembers his first love, his first kiss, his wife. He remembers his entire life in vivid detail. He remembered how his Noumu looked in her wedding dress, like an angel. He remembered everything about their honeymoon and night together. How he felt a month later when she told me that he was going to be a father, then how long he cried when he found out she died giving birth, the only solace that day being his giggling baby girl.

He then remembers everything about the letter he found in her crib, how they would kill her if he didn't kill himself. Then in just a moment all goes dark, his light blown out in an instant. He dies so easily that the boy almost vomits. His small head felt like it was being split open at the seams with the number of things he remembers.

Pain. His leg gets blown off by an explosive tag. He has burns all over his body from a fire jutsu. His chest gets slashed with an Iwa-nin's sword. He loses his ring finger in a training accident. He breaks his arm in a fall.

Sorrow. His teammate gets sliced in half right in front of him. His mother dies. He loses his first love. He learns that he will never have children.

Happiness. He finishes school. He meets with his friends, or family. His son learns to walk. His friend returns from war unscathed.

Another burst of Chakra.

He sees an unfamiliar room. He is sitting in a comfy chair; in his lap lays a book. He feels a faint sense of dread take hold of him, as if a premonition tells him that these will be his final seconds. He turns his head to his left, where his wife is sitting. He opens his mouth to speak, but the moment he does so the table in front of him explodes.

She switches perspective. Now she sees her husband get peppered with wooden shrapnel. She screams out his name and throws her sewing needles to the floor. She runs up to him and cries as she watches the life leave the eyes of her husband of eighty years. His light gets snuffed out as she screams his name. The wall behind her buckles for a moment; then explodes. A chunk of brick hits her in the head with a shower of blood and grey matter.

This time he does vomit.

He's outside in the street, walking to the grocer. He doesn't come this way often because it's just three blocks away from the demon's apartment. When it starts to rain he run to the grocer, but before he makes it there he hears a great roar on his left.

He turns his head just in time to see a house collapse. His heart flutters in his chest as he changes course in an instant. In that house lives a well-known elderly couple. They were some of the nicest people in the district. They were so nice and naïve that they didn't move when the demon got transferred to its new home.

But before he could get even halfway to the crowd that now surrounded the house he felt a blinding pain shoot up his leg. He stumbles and falls to the ground. He lets out a loud scream of pain. The cries attract the attention of the few people who weren't frantically digging through the rubble.

They run over to him. Before darkness claims him he sees a shape loom over him, and a voice say "Someone get a doctor, he looks bad."

He stoops down to the injured man's level. He says "Someone get a doctor, he looks bad." The man's girlfriend, Yukuma, nods her head and runs to get help. After only a few steps he feels an aura of malcontent.

Another burst of chakra.

Suddenly the ground underfoot shifts, spikes of rock shoot out of the ground, fissures open up to devour the land, and several more houses collapse. He stumbles, but manages to catch himself before he gets impaled on a stone spike just inches from his face. His girlfriend wasn't so lucky.

She falls over. And as she falls over he thinks she will be okay; the ground beneath her is without a blemish. But just as he thinks that, the ground beneath her cracks open. The fissure… it resembled a twisted smile, one that would not be out of place on Satan, or a demon.

The teeth, the empty blackness… it was as if the maw of hell opened, just to claim the life and soul of the only girl he loves. She screams out. In response the only thing he can do is yell out her name and rush over to the fissure as she falls. Then she disappears into the inky darkness.

He runs over to the fissure, paying no attention to his own safety. He makes it to the gaping maw without incident. The man peers into it, and when all he sees is darkness tears fall from his eyes.

Anguish, his girlfriend just died.

He screams out her name in sorrow. Then he hears his name get called out from the depths. He opens his eyes and what he sees makes him wonder if they were blessed by Kami. His girlfriend… she's floating upwards and out of the jaws of death. She looks like an angel in her white dress, with her dirty blonde hair blowing around without a single whisper of wind. In his relief the man doesn't see the debris floating around the block ominously.

Happiness, his girlfriend never died.

He wipes the tears away from his eyes. She's alive, why would he be crying? But his relief is short-lived.

She gazes around at the surreal sight before her. Debris float around lazily, spikes just out of the ground, houses are collapsed and her boyfriend is on his knees before me, with tears drying on his face. She opens my mouth to speak once more.

Another burst of Chakra.

Her body jerks violently. She's thrown around through the air, and gets slammed into a wall.

He sees her girlfriend get slammed face-first into a wall. A loud crack echoes through the street, the sound of bones breaking. The breath hitches in his throat. Her body slowly turns to face him. Her front… is covered in blood, ribs poke out of the fabric, and right in front of him he sees the light leave her body. He cries.

Then chaos reigns.

The grounds shifts once more, several more rock spikes now protrude from the ground skewering dozens. The floating debris, once slowly traveling around, speed up rapidly. More houses collapse, but instead of falling in a heap they are thrown into the air. Jagged shrapnel gets shot around like bullets, large hunks of debris are tossed around and the people that were once rushing around the street are now no more than rag dolls being played with by a sadistic child. People, live people, are slammed into the ground, walls into each other, with their cries of pain and the revolting sound of bones breaking echoing through-out the sky.

It looked as if a small tornado struck this part of town, debris fly through the air in a swirling vortex. Parts of houses still partially visible, you could make out shapes in the gloom. Doors, beams, carpets, dogs, nothing is spared in this whirlwind of death. And all of it is centered around one thing. Something left untouched by the destruction, a single apartment.

The eye of the maelstrom.

The walls around him explode. Wooden shrapnel fly through the air. With his temporarily enhanced sight he sees his impending doom in vivid detail. The grain in the wood, the sound of it cutting through the air not unlike a shuriken, and the way it's shaped. Some look like jagged daggers, others take the form of shark's teeth, some are small and harmless, while other shrapnel shards are bigger than his head. But as soon as they come into contact with the red cloak that surrounds him they disintegrate, leaving not a trace behind but the smell of burnt wood. The shrapnel might not have hurt him, but it didn't need to.

As the last light gets snuffed out, as easily as a candle in a hurricane, he clutches his head in shock and pain. The shock of dieing a thousand deaths finally getting to him he growls out in pain. With his mind exhausted the dark shroud that has his body enveloped leaves with a final burst of foul Chakra.

He falls to his knees, the only reason why he doesn't meet the ground being his frail arms supporting him, but barely. His ragged breath sounding as loud to his ears as the dying screams he made only moments before. He rose his head up shakily.

His apartment, his once small apartment room is covered in blood, the blood of a civilian, an innocent, a father. The blood drips down from the walls as the ceiling cries crimson. Bone shards stick out of the ceiling and floor; organs decorate the room- his blood, his bones, his organs, himself.

After what seems like an eternity he hears a loud crack. The boy looks up to see an ominous sight. The roof was sagging in as if it was made out of wet paper. It wails and moans like the dying as it drops down another foot. He heard a great explosion and looked out the window to see a red fireball, a gas line rupture. Then with an almighty sky-splitting yell the building collapsed around him. Too exhausted to do anything about it, and still shaken from what happened he accepted his fate. His home came down on him with a loud roar and then, silence… and darkness.

Just like a tomb.

oOoOoOoO

Naruto bolted upright and frantically threw his eyes around the room. Oak wood flooring, an elegant hand carved desk, and a queen sized bed; he was in his own room. It was just a dream, all just a dream. As his heartbeat slowed down the faintly gold lined seal that spider webbed over his body faded away, leaving no trace.

After a few minutes long tentative wait Naruto breathed a sigh of relief and got out of bed. He made a clone to replace the shredded, wet bed sheets and walked into the bathroom. With the door shut firmly behind him Naruto stripped of his sweat drenched clothes and tossed them down the laundry chute.

Naruto walked over to the shower, turned the hot water knob and stepped into the shower as carefully as he could so he wouldn't stress his cramped muscles. As the water turned from cold to warm Naruto braced himself on one side of the shower with his right arm. His left hand wasn't idle; its fingers massaged his temple in an attempt to calm the storm in his mind, and to clear out all thoughts of the dream. It was a fruitless endeavor.

As the now steaming water cascaded down his body it loosened the cramps in his arm, leg and chest muscles, making Naruto let out a comfortable groan. When all knots were undone Naruto started to wash the grime that came with his dream off, all the while trying to keep his mind off of the dream. It felt like he showered for fifteen minutes, but in all reality it was only fifteen minutes. Now clean and with his muscles loosened up Naruto turned off the shower, the hot water knob screeching at him as he did so.

As the flow of water died down Naruto glared at the knob in his hand. Then with an angry growl he slid the bath curtain back and stepped out of the shower. The only difference in the air was the lack of humidity; it was as warm out of the shower as it was in. Naruto walked over to the cracked mirror and stared at his reflection for a while, just to make sure he was himself. A minute later he shook his head with an ugly scowl distorting his face.

He walked over to the bathroom door and opened it. A wave of Arctic cold air assaulted his still dripping frame as he walked over to his bed, but he didn't even flinch. He remembered worse. With his form still dripping Naruto picked up a towel that now lay folded on the new sheets. The boy dried himself off, and then he put on the clean clothes, still warm from the dryer, that lay next to his pillow on the new sheets.

After he was done Naruto turned his gaze to the clock, it was one hour until he needed to meet his team. He then looked around the room to check the damage. It wasn't as bad as last time's, the only casualties were two chairs that resembled piles of toothpicks, a table that had a large crack in it, a stool missing it's legs, a shredded pile of paper that was once a great book and one or two cracked windows, another was shattered. Naruto didn't show any surprise as half a dozen clones popped into existence in front of him.

He pointed at the five on the left. "Your group will search the house and fix what's broken this time." Naruto then walked over to his bedside table. He picked up a bottle of pills and tossed it to the last clone. "Make sure the next batch is stronger, I'd rather get a good night's sleep tonight." The clones nodded in affirmative and went about their duties, while the original left his room and started walking down the stairs.

About halfway down the steps Naruto was struck with a sudden, but not entirely unexpected, head splitting pain. It felt as if his head was being pierced by a volley of white hot needles. It was so intense that he barely managed to stop himself from falling over and rolling down the steps. Then, as suddenly as it came it vanished, the only evidence of its occurrence being a thick stream of blood leaking out of Naruto's nose.

Naruto wiped the trail of blood away using his black gloved hand. A small pattern appeared on the glove. The circular seal glowed a bright bluish-white briefly before vanishing. The large smear of blood that was once on it followed suit, leaving behind a glove without blemish.

Naruto straightened himself and continued to walk down the steps. He rounded a corner and smirked as he saw a large boa constrictor lazing around on the floor. The creature was almost nine feet long, had a scaly, pale yellow hide and rather large eyes. Its tongue flickered in and out of its mouth, tasting the air.

Snakes didn't have any ears, though many summoned ones seemed to disregard that rule. Instead they 'heard' by sensing vibrations in the ground. For that reason it was that snakes were a favorite prey of hunting birds. Snakes may be able to sense the most silent of ninja on the ground and even under it, but their domain wasn't the air.

So it came as no surprise when the snake turned its head and stared at Naruto with un-lidded eyes as the boy approached. "I see that the seal is working fine. How does it feel to have color?"

The snake seemed to grin as its body shrank and grew taller. In the span of one second it transformed from a nine-foot long, yellow snake into a large, red Siberian husky, fur and all. The dog tilted its head upward and… howled wouldn't be the right word, neither would bark. It was more of a "Woo-woo-woowooo! Yarm!"

Naruto nodded his head in a sagely manner. "I'll take that as an 'It's awesome! I will be your obedient companion for years to come. Give me bacon.' It was surprisingly easy to modify the camouflage seal to give you both color and fur, scales feathers of whatever the hell you want." Naruto suddenly raised his head and put a finger on his chin, as if contemplating the meaning of life, and through that, the universe.

"… I wonder what a bird covered with grass would look like?"

Katashiru gave his master a look that said 'Don't tempt me.'

Naruto chuckled. "As much as I'd like to continue with this one-sided conversation I have to get to my team's meeting place. You're welcome to come along as well if you want." The boy spun on his heel and walked out the door.

Outside the morning air was crisp and a little chilly. Birds chirped, squirrels chattered amongst themselves and all manner of other noises filled Naruto's ears as he walked. But despite the beauty of the moment Naruto's mind couldn't help but linger on the damage he had wrought.

All around the apartment ground was thick woodland. Trees spread far as the eyes could see. Over one hundred species of tree lived in the forest around Konoha, such as tall, thick oak trees to birch and mahogany.

But today was not a great day for the forest. Every tree within 50 meters of the apartment was destroyed. Some were merely tipped over, their roots protruding from the ground. Some were no more than a pile of woodchips. But a mass majority of them looked as if a giant took a meat grinder and made of disastrous attempt at getting fiber into his diet.

Many of those trees were skewed around, their trunks nearly torn apart midway through with their canopies only supported by a few stubborn wood splinters. Others were missing their canopy; like that same giant picked them up and took a big bite out of them like they were broccoli, but then tossed away the unsavory stems. But the rest just had their branches broken, as if a giant hand had caressed them for a moment, then enclosed upon them and jerked downwards.

Naruto did his best to ignore the devastation around him, but it wouldn't work. The thoughts and images of the ravaged section stayed with him long after he left it behind. The shame of what he inadvertently did somehow brought forth the images he had ingrained in his mind on that day in Konoha, the day of the incident. Coupled with the memories of that day and what his did this day had fifteen minutes to fester and impose itself on his mind, placing a seed of doubt within himself.

So it came as no great surprise that his once great mood had soured considerably by the time he got to the team training ground.

Naruto paused for a moment and listened to the voices emanating from the training ground. After a second a plan started taking form in his head. Once it was finished Naruto gave mental instructions to his paper companion, who had followed him in the form of a bird.

o0o0o0o0o0o

"Damn it! Where are they? I never thought that sensei or the nerd would be late." Kiba muttered angrily as he paced around.

"Ki-Kiba! We still have ten minutes left. They're probably coming here right now."

"Bullshit! I-" Whatever else Kiba was about to say was interrupted when his companion Akamaru raised his head off of the ground and growled at some nearby bushes.

Kiba turned his head towards Akamaru. "What's wrong boy?" The small white puppy didn't respond, instead he chose to rush off into the brush.

"Akamaru get back here!" Kiba ran after him, but the moment he reached the bushes a small red blur dashed between his legs, followed shortly after by a small white blur. Barking filled the air as the two forms ran over to Hinata, the red blur jumped at her chest.

Acting on reflex Hinata raised her hands and caught the blur between her hands. She looked down to see a small red fox, that couldn't be older than a month, thrashing around in her grip. Below it Akamaru was hopping up and down trying desperately to get his prey, he seemed to forget that he could jump seven meters into the air. In her surprise Hinata's grip fell slack and the fox kit almost slipped through her fingers, but at the last second she lunged forward and caught the small mammal before it could fall to a gory death.

As its thrashing continued anew Hinata got a sudden idea. Her hands happened to be near its belly so she adjusted her fingers and started to rub in circles around the fox's belly. It had an immediate effect on the wild animal. The fox stopped struggling at the alien but welcome sensation. Less than a minute later it had its eyes lidded halfway and was purring loudly.

It was at that moment Kiba managed to get his companion under control. When he looked up to see Hinata petting the docile fox he promptly said, "How the hell are you doing that?"

She didn't even look up as she shrugged her shoulders and sat back down, all the while still petting in circles on the small kit's underside. Hinata giggled when the kit started to kick her hand playfully. "He's so cute!"

Kiba scoffed and said "That runt isn't cute." In response his belt shot off of his pants and buried itself in a nearby tree. Unsupported, the baggy pair of sweats dropped to the ground, showing anyone that bothered to look that Kiba chose to wear neon orange briefs today.

Once he felt the breeze Kiba looked down and gaped. The air was still for a moment, then Kiba fell down to his knees and howled to the sky. "Why the hell does this keep on happening to me?" About halfway through Akamaru joined in.

Hinata didn't even bother to look up. Instead she continued to pet the fox, who lay curled up in her lap. It was upon that scene that Kurenai stumbled across when she walked into the clearing. She looked at the crying form of Kiba, and then at Hinata, and instead of asking the obvious question she asked "Where's Naruto?" Kiba just stared at the ground while Hinata shrugged, all thoughts about her crush were absent at the moment.

Kurenai sighed, and then she walked over to a nearby tree and stood under it, in the shade. The minutes crept by at a snail's pace in silence, save for the occasional giggle from Hinata or a sniffle from Kiba. At ten minutes past ten a slurping sound broke the silence, and as one Kiba and Kurenai looked over at Hinata.

The kit in Hinata's lap was now suckling on her fingers, said girl 'Ahhed' and spoke up with pity in her voice, "He must have been taken away from his mother to early. Poor thing!" Hinata scooped it up into her arms and cuddled it into her chest. The young animal didn't resist, but it missed her skin so it cranked its head right into Hinata's face and started sucking on her nose. She giggled again.

Kiba stared for a moment. "Wow! Is every girl like that?" Kurenai slowly nodded her head as she fought off the urge to glomp the kit.

There was a rustling on their left, and through the bushes came out Naruto. Kiba stood up and yelled at him, "Where the hell were you? You're late!"

Naruto opened his mouth to respond, but instead of words coming out of his mouth the sound of a barking dog rang through the clearing. Naruto furled his eyebrow in irritation and, ignoring the stunned looks of his teammates, opened his mouth again. This time a horse's neigh pierced the air. Naruto growled in frustration, started to flail his arms around in anger, he walked around in circles and made even more animal noises all the while. Including but not limited to, chicken clucks, yips, chirps, chattering and rubber ducky squeaks?

"Um, Naruto… how are you making all of those noises?" Said boy didn't answer his sensei's question, instead he had a hungry gleam in his eye as he stared at a nearby squirrel, one that was up in a nearby tree nibbling on an acorn. Naruto tensed up and barked wildly at the small mammal. At the sound its head snapped over to Naruto, chattered for a moment, threw the acorn at him and took off into the forest.

The acorn bounced off of Naruto's forehead as he barked again and leapt at the tree. In midair he shrank and took the form of a large blood hound. The dog landed on the branch where the squirrel was eating its acorn and sniffed it for a moment. Then it lifted its head, howled at the sky and bounded off into the woods, leaving behind a stunned Team Eight.

Silence pervaded the air for a few moments after 'Naruto's' abrupt departure. The fox that was still in Hinata's arms made use of the shock before it could wear off. It wriggled its way out of her arms and plopped to the ground. Akamaru instantly perked up and barked at it, and then he hopped up and lunged at the still fox kit. Just when it seemed that it would die young the air around it and Akamaru got enveloped in a shroud of smoke. When it cleared there stood Naruto, with Akamaru latched onto his left kneecap growling. Naruto waved at Kurenai, Kiba and Hinata enthusiastically. "Hi everybody!"

Kiba was the first to recover, probably because he missed the obvious question. "So you're telling me that you were the fox?" Kurenai inexplicably twitched at the choice of words.

Naruto shook his head. "I wasn't telling you that, I was telling you 'Hi'. But yes I was the fox." He stated as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. Naruto suddenly got a very far off look in his eyes as a line of drool escaped from the corner of his mouth. "Hinata's nose tasted like strawberry." He dragged the word out in a dazed fashion.

Hinata froze as she realized that Naruto's face had been in hers, that he had been sucking on her nose and that she pressed him into her chest. But to her credit she didn't faint until Naruto spoke again.

"And her fingers tasted like-" thump. "… bacon." Naruto sighed wearily. "She really needs to work on that."

Kurenai placed her hand on Naruto's shoulder. "Naruto, can I talk to you privately for a moment?" The boy nodded his head in affirmative, tore Akamaru off of his knee and threw him at Kiba. Then he spun on his heel and followed his sensei.

The pair walked off into the woods. Once they were out about a quarter of a mile Kurenai twirled around, grabbed Naruto by his throat and slammed him firmly against a tree. Naruto showed no surprise nor did he even wince in pain as his sensei snarled at him. "Why the hell do you keep doing that for?"

Naruto blinked his eyes slowly and said in an even voice, "Doing what?"

This time Kurenai yelled at him "Don't play coy; you know what I mean! Why do you keep messing with Hinata?'

This time Naruto made the mistake of saying first. "Because it's fun an-" the older woman interrupted with a snarl as her hand tightened around his throat.

"Fun? You're playing with her emotions because it's fun?"

Naruto showed no sign of pain as it tightened further around his throat, nor a sign of anger. Instead he crossed his arms a crossed his chest. "I am not playing with her emotions. I am trying to help her overcome her shyness."

This time she laughed bitterly. "How? By doing your best to get her hopes up and then dumping her once you've had your fun?" Her hand tightened even more, to a point where most academy students would be gasping for air. His face twitched as much as a rock's when a slight crack came from his neck.

She growled at him "Listen here and listen well. She's had a hard life, not as hard a life as the rumors say anymore but harder than any child, shinobi or otherwise, should ever go through. Her father once considered her a failure and even more the most he ever talked to her was over dinner, and even then no more than three words. 'Are you stronger?' The Hyuuga elders think she's a waste as a human and a clan member. The only ones that have ever shown her any kindness in her clan was the Branch house, but never the one that mattered. Her own cousin reminds her every day about how 'weak and pathetic' she is."

Kurenai pressed her student harder into the tree, making the trunk creak in protest. "I don't know what she sees in you, and I probably never will. I don't care that you're one of the Hokage's favorites but the moment that you take advantage of-"

Kurenai was suddenly thrown backwards, her back ringing painfully against a tree. This time a hand gripped her throat tightly as she stared into Naruto's face, and what she saw made the breath hitch in her throat.

Naruto's face was covered in elaborate tattoos, they glowed a dull gold-ish color. His eyes were different too. In his eyes glowed insurmountable rage, and even a hint of madness. But what really stood out to her was that there was a small swirl of the same color on his seals, it was like someone took a few drops of gold food coloring and dripped them into a pool of deep blue water. The color swirled around like his iris like a raging storm. That alone made her pause.

Naruto hissed angrily, the sound not unlike a gas pipe with a leak, sharp and explosive. "If you finish that sentence Hinata will be the least of your worries! If you finish it nobody will ever find your bones, not your blood or your clothes! It would be like you've never existed. If you want to know a hard life don't look at that girl, I know what she went though was bad. But does she have to live with the knowledge that the villagers she swore to protect with her life would like nothing more to rip out her heart? Has her father killed himself because the entire village, including the friends he saved the lives of, turned their backs on him and called him a traitor? Does she have to work to the point of exhaustion every single day just to improve what little skills she has? Has she been beaten, neglected and left to die by the people she thought of as parents? Or does she have to live with the guilt of a hundred deaths on her conscience? Or maybe a thousand? Does she?" Kurenai didn't say anything. "Does she?" Kurenai still didn't respond.

"ANSWER ME!"

The forest around them moaned eerily, as if the souls of the damned had returned to walk this world. The forest weaved back and forth as if in gale force winds, but not a whisper of air disturbed the clearing. The tree under Kurenai creaked and she felt herself crash into the trunk deeper, making splinters fly through the air. Despite the fact that she never felt the hand around her throat tightened she felt it constrict. She felt the air around her grow so heavy to the point it was as if she was buried alive. Her breathes came in short gasps, but the grip on her never got any tighter then how a mother would hold her newborn.

With her silence the insane look on Naruto's face was plastered with a predatory grin, one of rage and insane glee. But before he could act on his impulses his hands convulsed, and he withdrew them as if her skin burned him, leaving Kurenai to land on her rear painfully. It didn't stop there; Naruto's face got twisted with unimaginable pain, his mouth disappeared and his eyes became no more than slits.

As the tree behind Kurenai fell to the ground split in half, Naruto suddenly fell against a tree, one arm supporting him. Then all was silent, not a thing stirred, not even the animals made a noise. For over a minute this silence crept, then Naruto doubled over in a fit of loud, gut busting coughs. His hacking coughs cut through the air like an exe through wood. After five minutes Naruto fell still, and then he spat out a goblet of blood and straightened himself.

Naruto's face was smeared with blood, all of it coming from a fresh stream out of his nose. Naruto sniffed, and then wiped it with his hand. Using the same hand he reached into his weapons pouch and withdrew a wet rag. He dabbed it on his face, once it was suitably wet he wiped off the blood, then tossed the rag back in. Kurenai couldn't help but notice that the smear of blood that was once on his glove wasn't there anymore.

Naruto turned forebodingly to face his sensei. When Naruto spoke it was with a voice that matched his face. Once he spoke again in place of unknown rage was nothing, just a blank expression. No anger, hate, happiness nothing. It was filled with a bored tone with an undercurrent of annoyance, and a hint of an analytical outlook.

For some reason that, more than anything, scared her.

His mouth said one thing, but his mind said something else. "I'm sorry for that." 'I am not.' "I don't know what came over me." 'You know, not what but who.' "It will never happen again." 'Lies! She hasn't seen the last of me!' "It was just that what you were going to say pissed me off greatly." 'You speak the truth for once, boy.' the voice in the back of his mind sneered at him.

"I don't mean to hurt her in anyway. She has flaws, as do us all, but a few of hers would mean death on the battlefield. I'm going to do my best to undo the damage that was done to her, but it will take time, and work. You would consider some, if not all, of my methods strange. But bear with me and you'll see results eventually."

Naruto paused for a moment. "This is completely unrelated, but I have to get a message to Shikaku." Naruto started to make a long series of hand seals.

"Shikaku? As in the Nara clan head?" Naruto nodded, held the last seal, and slammed his hand on the ground. A small smoke cloud popped into existence in front of Naruto, and once it cleared a small toad sat in the middle.

Kurenai gaped as her student spoke to it. "I need you to get a message to Shikaku Nara, tell him not to eat too much of the herb in a month. If he does he'll get a few side effects. I'll tell him later how much he should use in a given day." For a moment Naruto tilted his head to the side. "And while you're at it could you get to Jiraiya and tell him that I came up with a revolutionary seal yesterday? I'd love to see his face when he finds out. Please and thank you."

The toad nodded and hopped off to complete its master's requests. Kurenai could only sputter as it took off. Once she finally regained her composure she all but shrieked out. "When did you get the toad contract?"

Flashback:

"What are we going to learn today old man?" asked a nine-year old Naruto.

Sarutobi chuckled. "Well for starters-" CRASH! A large, spiky, white-haired man flew through the office window.

As he giggled, the man picked himself back up sloppily and walked back over to the busted window. Along the way he stumbled a little. He yelled out the window. "Nice arm you have Anko! I wonder if your mouth is as good!" The man chuckled as a roar tore through the window and ducked his head as a kunai sailed into the office.

The man turned around to face the pair, which let Naruto get a good look at him. He wore red face paint in the similar to the way Kabuki puppeteers did. His headband had a pair of small horn-like protrusions on each side and, instead of a village's symbol, was the kanji for oil. Despite all of that the most distinct thing about him was the perverted grin that seemed to be plastered on his face.

He stumbled back over to the pair. Once he stood in front of the desk he slurred out. "How are yoooou doing, sessei?' as if it upset his balance he almost fell face-down onto the paperwork covered desk.

Sarutobi sighed theatrically. "You've been drinking haven't you Jiraiya?" It was more of a statement then a question.

The man, Jiraiya, giggled again and nodded dumbly. "Yep! Me and Gaman… Gamananba… Gamamnamana… big toad guy had a party to celebrate his son's birthday! We drank so much sake that he… what did he do again? Oh yeah! He… did something. What was it?" Jiraiya raised an unsteady hand to his chin as if in deep thought. The simple movement seemed to unbalance him as he tipped far over to his left.

Within the span of a second Jiraiya was bent over in an amazing display of flexibility. His face was less than a foot away from the floor yet he didn't tip over despite his obvious state of drunkenness, his feet seemed to be glued to the floor beneath him. From his new vantage point he finally noticed Naruto. His lecherous grin got wider as he straightened out and turned to face his teacher once more. "Sensei you dog! Don't tell me! You finally found yourself a nice lady and had kids didn't you? And twins at that!

He mimicked squeezing something as he said. "Where is Miss Sarutobi and her boobs?" Normally he wouldn't be so blunt about it. Need anyone remind Hiruzen that his student was too wasted to care anymore?

Hiruzen's face remained stoic. "In order. I have had a son for many years, not to mention that I'm a grandfather so I don't need to worry about that. I am too old to have a child, and that boy over there is not my kid either. My wife has been dead for a few years now. I probably won't remarry, like I said I'm too old for that kind of commitment. Now is there any reason why you're here?"

"No! But I have a question!" Jiraiya thought for a very long, dull moment.

"OUT WITH IT!"

"Calm down gramps!" Another pause. "Why is that kid here?"

Hiruzen brightened instantly. "He is here because this boy is a genius. I have taught him millions of things for years now and he keeps coming back for more! His name is Naruto." He added emphasis on the name and Jiraiya suddenly looked much more sober.

"Naruto, this is Jiraiya of the Sannin." The blond boy looked the older man up and down for a while, taking in even the minutest of detail. Everything from the stink of liquor on his breath, the few tears in his shirt, and the sway of his arms, nothing escaped him at that time. He stared him in the face for a long moment, and then slowly worked his way down all the way to his sandaled feet and all the way back up again, as if fearing he missed something.

Once Naruto finished five minutes later he crossed his arms and said. "I'm not impressed."

Hiruzen enjoyed the dumbstruck expression on his student's face. "What? How could I, the great Jiraiya, fail to impress a little brat like you?"

Naruto adopted an analytical expression and examined the older man once again, as if looking for a certain quality only he could notice. Naruto nodded minutely, took a far off look and snapped his fingers. A pair of sunglasses appeared over his eyes in a puff of smoke, wisps of it clinging for but a moment as it was blown away by a non-existent breeze.

He seemed to have found what he was looking for as he opened his mouth. "I regret to inform you that to me, at the moment, you are but a man that's impressive in name only. I have never seen how you act in your day to day activities so I have no knowledge of the man behind the name, just of his skills and some other trivia. Until I see how you treat people in everything you do I will have a low opinion of you as a person. Your perversion and womanizing adventures are as famous as Tsunade's gambling and drinking addictions as well as Orochimaru's seemingly inherit creepiness in everything he does. I must admit as well that in your current state I can't help but deduct a few points." Naruto added in a deadpan voice when Jiraiya started to list again.

The toad sage straightened again. "Now, listen here, brat! I am Jiraiya the Toad Sannin! I have fought Salamander Hanzo to a standstill and have taught everything the Fourth Hokage knew as a genin! I am the most accomplished seal master in this village! The men fear me! The women adore me! I am the Toad Sage!"

To add emphasis Jiraiya, using dozens of years of experience, made a single seal and slammed his hand on the floor. But since he was so drunk he would have made Tsunade jealous he botched on the Chakra control part. So, instead of summoning a horse sized toad, he summoned a tadpole that fluttered about helplessly on the floor in a small puddle of water.

Jiraiya hung his head in embarrassment while Hiruzen laughed at his expense. Instead of joining in on the laughter at the amazingly pathetic display Naruto adjusted his glasses and said with feigned interest. "Did you say that you were a seal master? I happen to have a hobby in that field. Would it be possible for you to give me advice?"

Jiraiya's head snapped up, a triumphant grin plastered on his face. "So you finally realized how awesome I am? Well to bad! No advice for you!"

Naruto faked a disappointed look. "That's a shame I was looking forward to this. You may not want to give me advice but could I trouble for a demonstration on this new seal I came up with?"

Jiraiya laughed. "Fine, kid, I guess I have time to kill!" Naruto nodded and pulled a tag out of his bag. Once Jiraiya saw what was on it he grinned as a plan started to form in his drunken mind. He was drunk so much he was still seeing double and thus he thought what he was seeing was just a jumble of lines.

"This tag is made with the thought of immobilization in mind. Once activated it will render whoever it's placed on incapable of moving their lower body even an inch. I developed it for the interrogation unit."

Jiraiya laughed drunkenly once again. "How about we make it more interesting? If that thing there imobo- imo… does that then I will let you sign the toad contract. But if it doesn't then you'll have to call me 'Lord Jiraiya your Sexiness'!" He jumped onto a nearby chair and struck a dramatic pose. But it was ruined when, despite having decades of experience in war, Jiraiya was defeated by every drunk's mortal enemy.

The floor.

As Jiraiya picked himself up Naruto adjusted his sunglasses again. "Hmm… the toad contract? Famous, useful and above all- powerful. But how about we make this even more interesting? If the tag does immobilize you then in addition to the toad contract I get five favors. But if it doesn't then, along with your new title, you get five favors. What do you say?"

A malicious grin enveloped Jiraiya's face, "Deal." He might not have been able to convert Minato, but he'd have his revenge. Naruto would be peeking on hot springs in no time.

"Okay then, hold still while I put this on you." Naruto spread the small sheet of paper apart and stuck it on Jiraiya's stomach. He said. "This won't hurt a bit." Then he made a hand seal, which in turn activated the tag.

The air in the office suddenly turned cold, and in an instant a heavy sheet of ice formed over Jiraiya's entire body with a sharp snap, the sound similar to ice breaking rather than forming. The only thing that wasn't covered was his head, which stuttered out. "I th-thought t-that it was supposed to paralyze me?"

Naruto adjusted his glasses again and said with a smug smirk. "I never said what method I would use to make you immobile, all I said was that the tag would do it. There were several other ways I could have done it which are not limited to; a spike severing your spinal column, I could have sent pulses of electricity to counteract the nerves that send electrical messages to you muscles or I could have killed them with heat. But I digress, can you move at all?"

Jiraiya tried to move but the only things that weren't frozen was everything above his neck level. He rocked his head back and forth, but he only succeeded in falling onto his side. He sighed in defeat. "Okay kid you win. Let me out and I'll let you sign the contract."

Naruto made his way to the door. "No I don't think I will."

"What?"

Naruto turned to the frozen man and, while noticing a certain Hokage's absence, adjusted his glasses yet again. "You heard me. I won't let you go. You see Jiraiya, Anko happens to be a good friend of mine, and she's not the only one that's angry that you groped her. Not only that, but in exchange for helping her with catching you she's going to buy me ten pounds of apples. A fair exchange don't you think?"

A roar of renewed fury shook the tower. "It seems that Anko finally made it passed the ANBU. She should be here in thirty seconds, give or take a few." He ignored the now sweating Jiraiya and made for the door.

"You'll probably be at my house tomorrow morning won't you? Either to get revenge," he spat the word out, "or to have me sign the toad contract then." Another roar. "She's almost here. Don't worry; you're probably used to whatever she's going to do to you."

Naruto opened the door and paused for a moment "Until next time Jiraiya." Then he stepped out of the office and closed the door behind him.

Less than a minute later Naruto walked up to the double doors out of the Hokage tower, past a group of eight ANBU who were on the floor in various states, groaning in pain. Without even batting an eyelash he walked through the double doors. He walked away and towards his home, leaving behind the Hokage tower and a chorus of girlish screeches behind.

End Flashback:

Naruto shrugged. "It's not important. What is important is that you don't interfere with my activities. Whether it is with Kiba, the Hokage, or Hinata. I do everything for a reason whether it seems like it or not. Do you understand me?" His voice turned hard, while one of many demanded her blood.

Despite Naruto's earlier performance Kurenai couldn't help but snap back. "Why? What right do you have to order me around? I am a Jônin and you're a genin, not only that I am your sensei! If there's anyone around here who should be ordering anyone around it's going to be me!"

Naruto laughed bitterly and said in a tone full of mocking disrespect. "Because sensei, you may be older than me in body, stronger than me in society, and higher than me in title, but do you have the knowledge of half a thousand trained killers? Do you have a multitude of knowledge that should only come with millennia of life? Whether it is caring for a child, cooking or anything else you can think of I have intimate knowledge of it all!"

Naruto's voice became heated, and not even a breath into it he began yelling. "There is nothing you can teach me! Nothing at all! You are sensei in name only! Because of what I can do, because of what I am, you will have no effect on my life, my career or anything else! I know you held back yesterday, or else the other two wouldn't have lasted more than five seconds. But to tell you the truth even if you came at me all out the two of us would be closely matched."

Naruto took a calming breath as Kurenai scoffed. "There's no may you're as strong as me."

Naruto gave her a hard look. "There's only one way to find that out isn't there?"

At that moment Kurenai's instincts screamed at her to get away, to beg forgiveness, to do something, anything to calm him down. The familiar pressure on her chest returned, but it faded away once Naruto continued to speak. "That will be a discussion for another day sensei." He practically spat the word out. "Until then all I want to know is if you'll stay out of my plans for Hinata."

"Is there any reason I should?"

"Yes there is. Other then everything I've already said I have breathed, walked, fought, bleed and died for more then you ever will." Kurenai moved to speak. "I know what you're thinking, 'What does that mean?' After today I don't think I ever will tell you what it means, even if this didn't happen you probably would never find out. In my twelve years of life only three people know what that means to me, and I don't plan on that number getting any bigger anytime soon."

"But if that doesn't mean anything to you this will." Naruto took a single step forward, sensei and student stared each other right in the eye. "I am the reason why Hinata doesn't have any problems with her father anymore. I have done more for that girl in two years than you have done in your whole time you've been her confidant."

Just like that Kurenai became speechless. Try as she might she couldn't stay angry at him anymore. She felt an unfamiliar feeling form in her stomach.

"Like I said before, I will do my best to fix the damage that has been done to her, but it will take time, time that would be wasted if you interfered." Naruto retreated a step and turned around.

"In time she will become everything you want her to be. She will be strong, caring, and courageous. Spin it whatever way you want but remember, she's not the only one that needs this."

Naruto started walking away. "We never had this conversation."

And since we broke 100 reviews.

OMAKE!
Naruto's number one selling book.

Hiruzen stared at the nine-year old boy sitting in front of him. After a few minutes the Hokage asked with disbelief dripping from his voice. "You what?"

"I told you old man. I want to publish a book. But I need a license to do so. I want to spread my ideas."

Hiruzen blinked. "This is a surprise Naruto. Not unexpected but a surprise, tell me what is this book about?"

Naruto gave him a serious look, "Pokémon."

Hiruzen blinked again, "Pokémon?" He questioned.

"Pokémon," Naruto concurred.

"And pray tell, what is this book going to involve?"

Naruto pulled something out of his weapons pouch. "How about instead of telling you I show you." The boy tossed something at the aged man, who caught it easily.

The old man had a mask of fear etched on his face when he saw the title, 'How to make Pokémon'. The boy in front of him was a genius so it was obvious the man was concerned that he had another Orochimaru in front of him.

"Naruto…" Said boy nodded.

"Did you kidnap people and experiment on them?" Orochimaru was infamous for his inhumane experiments. Who's to say someone couldn't do the same involving children's cartoons?

Naruto just gazed at him with an unreadable expression on his face. "No old man I didn't steal people away and experiment on them. If you think I am then you're going senile."

OoOoOoOo

Somewhere, a one-armed man snezzed.

"Are you okay master Danzo?" The man just gave the nine-year old boy that sat in front of him a blank look.

"Of course I am okay little one." 'What was his name again? …I'll just call him Sai.'

"HOLY SHIT WHAT'S THAT?" The crippled war-hawk pointed in a random direction using his cane.

The pale boy just raised an eyebrow, amazingly, and turned to look. "What is what master Danzo?"

Said old man just shook his head, as if to clear it out "Nothing, nothing at all… what was your name again?"

OoOoOoOo

Hiruzen sighed in relief. "Sorry about that Naruto but I'm just a little concerned is all." He noticed the look was giving him; it was obvious that he wanted him to read the book already. He opened to the first page and his concern was immediately settled when he read the first entry.

A smile tugged at his lips as he read out loud.

"How to make a Charmander."

"Step one; get a giant lizard."

"Step two; paint it red."

"Step three; light its tail on fire."

Hiruzen lifted his head to look Naruto right in the face. "I was just bored is all old man."

"Bored enough to make Pokémon?"

"Bored enough to screw around."

The old man ducked his head back down to read the next ones. Hiruzen could only smile as he read out loud once more.

"How to make a Squirtle."

"Step one; get a turtle."

"Step two; paint it blue."

Then the Hokage's face was covered in a mask of confusion "Step three; …shove a hose up its ass?" Hiruzen once again stared Naruto right in the eye, the question evident in his.

"Yes! Just imagine it!" Naruto stood up and pointed at an imaginary enemy in an exaggerated fashion "Squirtle water gun! Then it vomits out a never ending stream of high-pressured water. Anyway just read the next one old man."

"How to make a Pikachu?"

"Step one; find a mouse."

"Step two; feed it steroids?"

"Step three; once at correct size paint it yellow."

"Step four; once paint dries paint on little red spots on its cheeks."

"Step five; once paint dries hit it with a lightning jutsu." The aged kage raised his eyebrow at the next line.

"Or if you prefer just hook it up to a car battery." He once again raised his head and stared Naruto right in the eye.

"… What the hell is a car battery?"

And since this chapter took a while to get out…

OMAKE!
Why Naruto doesn't believe in macaroni and cheese.

Naruto was sitting at his table eating dinner one day, when he suddenly lifted his plate of Jell-O to his forehead. "Naruto… what the hell are you doing?" The boy glanced at Hiruzen, who he invited to dinner.

"I am communing with the great lord Jell. Now silence! He demands my full attention!" Naruto closed his eyes and pressed the plate to his forehead. Once he was done five minutes later he stared at his side of macaroni for what seemed to the old man a long time.

"Um Naruto… is there something on your mind?" The boy just lifted a finger to silence the Hokage.

After a moment's silence he said. "The great lord Jell told me that 'the macaroni and cheese is a lie'. I am contemplating what he said." After another five minutes Naruto's eyes suddenly grew wide in horror as he tipped over his chair in haste to put distance himself between him and the table.

"Naruto what's wrong?"

The boy replied in a frantic fear stricken voice. "It's true! The macaroni is a lie! It's not there anymore!"

The Hokage's eyes widened as well as he put his hands together in the symbol to dispel any genjutsu. But when nothing happened the old man just sighed and called out to Naruto, who was rocking back and forth in a corner muttering something about how he needs to be redeemed. "Sometimes I worry about you Naruto."

A.N

Since someone brought up the idea I shall propose it to all who read this. If anyone has an idea for an OMAKE please send me your idea in any form of communication. PM, review I don't care which, but I'd prefer a review… please?

On a side note I was very pleased by the review turnout of last chapter. I REALLY want the same this time. The best way to get the idea on where your stories stand is to get a mass of comments on what you did right, what you need to improve on, and suggestions.

Until next time; read, cry, live, love, watch, and prosper.