Greetings! Kwatu Barada Nikto! (or something like that)

Wow, I feel really, really loved. I jumped from 20 to 30 reviews inside a singe posting. One moment, I need to bask…there we go. Never thought this story would actually take. Anywho, pressing on.

To reviewers old and new, THANK YOU. Queen S, Hikaru, Horselvr, and Writer'sBlock: I too found Tucker funny at the end. Not really sure where that came from, but I guarantee he's regretting it now! Thank you for your continued support.

Epona, once again you merit a personal shout for liking and recognizing Escher. Since I have to disclaim him later anyway, I'll mention him now. Yes, you are right, Danny's twisted little world is in fact based off of M.C. Escher's 'Relativity.' (However, I'll say right now that the night background is NOT from 'Another World II.' That's all Danny.) He only used an alias of the print. I wouldn't nitpick, but Sam's going to bring it up in this chapter, and Jazz in chapter 8, so I might as well nip this in the bud right now. I do relish the irony of it all; that Danny's favorite artist was an expert in and wrote two major publications on the relationship between extremely advanced geometry and artwork, and Danny hates math. XD

P.S. everyone, that piece looks really cool and can be found online.

And first time reviewers: Thanks to Id Pendemus, I'm glad you think everything's still IC. Also thanks to fan-girls2.0, lightanddarklove and Funkatron. Your support means the world, as I'm sure my obscenely long replies suggested.

All readers, I'm still listening for any criticism, constructive or otherwise. Preferably constructive. I really want to improve myself in any way I can, so please let me know how.

Right, First a new DISCLAIMER, then on with the show. I still do not own the rights to Danny Phantom and associated characters. I also do not own such artistic giants as M.C. Escher or DC comics, or the print 'Relativity,' or the 'Batman' and 'Superman' comics. Finally, while he may actually have lectured at the University of Brussels – it's likely, but I don't actually know for sure – I confess that any later stated meeting or interaction between M.C. Escher and the Danny Phantom character Samantha Manson's grandmother is entirely fictional. That is all.

Whew. Now that that's all taken care of, here is chapter seven.

Crazy 'bout ya, (or maybe just crazy)

HiddenAuthor

Chapter 7 – Twists

The three friends met up at the end of the day, and walked towards Danny's house together. Tucker smirked at Danny and Sam through a black eye. "So, what happened at lunch today?"

The two friends turned red and started spluttering. Tucker held up his hand. "Never mind. I know nothing happened. But the whole school was talking about it. Valery took it really well, except for when I called her 'woman.'" Tucker winced, and reached up to touch his bruised face. "I guess she's over you too, Danny."

"That's a relief." Danny sighed. Sam shot him a dark look. "Don't worry Sam; I really want to go out with you. I just didn't want Valery to get hurt, that's all."

Tucker grinned. "Yeah, and Sam obviously wants to go out with you, Danny. Even Paulina said that move at lunch was a bit fast." Sam turned red as the three entered the Fenton house and started upstairs.

"I wasn't going anywhere with it, I just wanted Danny to tell me what's going on."

"Speaking of that, what's in your room that's so cool, anyway?" Tucker shot Danny a questioning look, and Danny grinned back in response. Not saying a word, Danny led the two across his bedroom to his closet doors, and pushed them open.

"That." The other two gawked for a moment at the black door that had apparently appeared in their best friend's closet overnight.

"Wh-what's that, Danny?" Tucker asked nervously.

"That's the other thing the Ghost Council did." Danny said smugly. "They told me I had to make a ghost door, like all those doors we see when we go exploring. Every ghost can make one, and they can make the inside look like whatever they want. Mine has a door at the back of my closet and another door by Clockwork's place." His two friends stared at the black door, and then beamed at Danny.

"That is so cool. What's the inside look like?" Danny just smirked.

"Come on in and see for yourselves." Without another word, he pushed the door open and the three walked inside. Danny's friends stared around at the insane layout of the labyrinthine stone room. Tucker looked ready to throw up. Sam's face twitched, and she suddenly burst out in happy laughter.

"Oh, wow! I always wanted to try living in a place like this! Ever since I saw this place on the print in grandma's room! This is so cool, Danny!" Sam said, spinning around and running along the stone staircases with a huge grin on her face. Danny laughed.

"Me, too. That's why I made it." Sam paused and beamed at him.

"You remember me showing you 'Relativity'? That was at least a year ago! I showed it to you after grandma gave it to me for my birthday. She said it was an exact reproduction, signed by the original artist. She was in a lecture he gave at the University of Brussels back in the fifties." Danny frowned.

"I always thought it was called Crazy Stairs." Sam smiled over at him from a separate staircase.

"No, some people call it that, but the print is actually called 'Relativity.' I don't remember the artist, but it was M.C. something. This is so cool! I can actually walk on all of the staircases, and I won't fall off!" Sam started running again. Danny and Tucker followed her path with their eyes.

"Careful not to get lost, I made it really confusing in here to keep ghosts from finding their way from one door to the other." Tucker turned to his friend, looking confused and slightly sick.

"Alright, two questions. First, how did you make all this in just a few hours? And second, didn't you say that ghosts can't get to Amity without an invitation?" Danny paused and then answered calmly.

"Well, I'm allowed to do anything with the walls and floors of this place that I want, within reason. And, I'm allowed to change some things about how stuff works here. That's why you won't fall off when a stairway is going sideways; the direction you fall changes depending on where you are. Also, I made it so ghosts can't fire weapons or fly in here, so they can't cheat to find the doors or hurt people. It's all in my head. And you're right. Ghosts can't go to Amity Park without permission unless I'm not there. But anyone who lives in Amity can give permission. So, I figured better safe than sorry." Danny looked around at the giant maze. "Besides, this place is really cool! I don't want it ruined by ghosts. It's considered part of Amity and part of the Ghost Zone, so ghosts can still pop in here any time." Tucker shook his head, eyes firmly shut.

"I don't know, man. I like it better when down is always down." Danny chuckled, then grew serious.

"Look guys. This place is really big, so you probably shouldn't wander around on your own. If you want, you can each have a room to yourselves after I get settled in. I'd like you guys to come in here with me a lot. But we can work that out later. For now, I'll just show you the back door, and try to keep you guys from getting lost."

Sam called out from a stairway that climbed upside down that was above Danny and Tucker's heads. "Speaking of lost, could you tell me how to get back up there, Danny? I tried to figure it out myself, but wound up down here."

"Up? Down? But you're the one who's…and we're…never mind." Tucker looked even queasier. Danny called up/down to Sam.

"Just hold on, you're on the path to the back door anyway. Tucker and I will be along in a second." Danny immediately started off along one of the many paths, Tucker staying close behind. Sam called out to them.

"There's a room with a view right through this arch thing. I'll wait in there, okay?" Danny paused and shouted back.

"Sure, Sam. We're coming." Tucker shook his head as the two turned along a looped path and started walking upside down and underneath back the direction they had come from.

"Dude, how can you find your way around in here?" Danny shrugged.

"I made it. I guess part of how this place works is I can tell where everyone and everything is, and how to get there. Just stay with me. And please don't throw up! I can't make mops and cleaning stuff." A few minutes later, they met up with Sam and the three continued walking through the giant stone maze.

"Wow, this place is huge, and the night sky background is awesome. It seems pretty bare, though." Sam commented. Danny gave her a fake glare, then laughed.

"I know. I can only change the walls and scenery; I can't make stuff that can be moved around. I can't do anything I want, just most stuff. Besides, most ghosts have had centuries to work on their lairs. This is pretty good for one day." Sam only shrugged, and the three pressed on. When they passed a larger arch opening to a broad hallway with star-filled windows on either side, Danny paused and gave Sam a playful look. "You want detail? Okay, how about this?" Danny closed his eyes and concentrated. A moment later, a long row of intricate round fountains grew out of the floor in the center of the hall and started shooting streams of water into the air. Trickles echoed through the private world as the water sprayed up, sparkling in the moonlight as it fell into the shallow pools below. As the hall stretched on, the path corkscrewed up around one wall until it looked like the fountains were shooting water down and it was falling up towards the ceiling. Sam's eyes lit up.

"Oh, wow. That's so incredibly beautiful." Sam breathed quietly. Danny looked at her.

"Yeah, it is." After a moment, the half ghost broke the silence, slightly red. "Right, only another ten minutes till we reach the other door." And the trio pressed on. When they reached the other door with its DP insignia, Tucker burst out laughing.

"Kind of painted a target on this place, huh?" Danny looked at the symbol.

"I didn't really think about it that way." His expression cleared. "Oh, well. The door's right by Clockwork's, and I think a lot of evil ghosts are scared of him. Besides, any ghost with half a brain would run right back out the door after one look at this place." With that, the three friends turned around and started back towards the 'front door.' About five minutes in, Danny paused and shot the others a questioning look.

"Did you guys want to see any of the other rooms?"

Tucker shrugged. "Is there anything special about them?" Danny started walking again, shaking his head.

"Not really. But we took the direct route from door to door. You didn't get to see anything. I guess there's not much to see right now, but…" Sam looked at Danny with wide eyes.

"How big is this place, Danny?" Danny smiled.

"Clockwork asked the same thing. I guess most ghosts don't put this much effort into their lairs, or they don't want this much room. But this place: it's big. I don't really know measurements and stuff, I'm no math genius. Besides, telling the difference between floor space and walls in here is kinda hard. If I had to guess, I'd say around the size of Vlad's place in Wisconsin. It's mostly halls and stairs, though. Not as many rooms." Tucker thought about this as the three walked along.

"So, is this like the 'Fortress of Solitude' for ghosts?" Tucker asked. Danny rolled his eyes.

"You watch too many cartoons, Tucker. These things are just places for ghosts to hang out, that's all. Every ghost has one, even the evil ones. Only Superman had a 'Fortress of Solitude.'" Tucker snorted.

"For the record, it was comic books, not cartoons. But you don't get it. This is a place where you can recharge, and hide stuff that has to do with your secret. I'll admit it's not like Superman's place in the comics, but it can serve the same purpose." Sam looked at Tucker as the three walked along.

"You know, that's not a bad idea, Tucker. But honestly, this place seems more like a 'Bat Cave' to me. Hidden door, creepy rooms, dark dank halls. Way cooler than a giant glowing ice cube." Tucker stared at Sam.

"Sam? You're into Batman? Jeez, we've been hanging out for how many years, and you still don't trust us enough to tell us everything?" Sam grinned.

"You never asked. Besides, you've seen my swimming outfit. I just don't like giving everything away at once. What point is there to life without a few surprises, or a small mountain of original prints in the back of a closet?" Danny smiled.

"So you like the place, right?" Sam laughed quietly and smiled.

"I could totally hang out here." She stretched her arms up luxuriously, then turned and glanced at Danny. "Can I bring my parents?" Danny grinned evilly.

"Sure, Sam. Any time. I'm thinking of inviting Jazz soon." The three friends laughed a moment, then Sam stopped and faced Danny eye to eye.

"And, Danny? Just so you know, if I get to have some space here, I'd like to be by those fountains." Without another word, she turned and continued walking. Tucker snickered as Danny blushed.

"Let's just get out of here, okay? We can do that sort of stuff after Danny figures things out. I don't know why you two like this place so much, but if I'm here much longer I think I'm gonna throw up." The new couple snickered, and sped up. Twenty minutes later, the three stepped out of the human door, and back into Danny's room. Tucker fell to his knees and hugged the floor.

"Oh, sweet sweet gravity! You're always so predictable!" Sam and Danny rolled their eyes and hauled him to his feet. They were just starting downstairs when Jazz came in. She looked pale.

"Danny? You guys should watch the news with me, quick. Mom and dad are at City Hall with the mayor." Danny gulped, and the four friends shuffled into the living room and flicked on the television. The mayor was addressing the crowd from behind a raised podium.

"Ladies and gentlemen. Due to the extreme amount of property damage incurred over the last year because of ghosts, I have met with members of the city council and together we have thought up a way to combat this menace. Because of his personal involvement in almost every major ghost attack, I am hereby officially placing a fifty thousand dollar bounty on Inviso-Bill. Whoever captures the infamous ghost boy will be rewarded the full sum of the bounty, and the ghost will then be 'neutralized' and studied. Now, it is my great pleasure to give the floor to Jack and Maddie Fenton." Applause filled the room as Danny's parents took the stage. Back home, Jazz Sam and Tucker were staring at the TV in shock, and Danny had phased halfway through the floor.

"Thank you, mayor." Maddie's sweet tone immediately turned militant. "All right. Jack and I have been hunting the ghost boy for a whole year now, and we can tell you first hand that he's not to be taken lightly. Inviso-Bill is very powerful and very dangerous. But Jack and I are confident in our ability to capture him and every other ghost we come across. You hear me, ghosts! Do your worst, we're ready for you!" Applause once again broke out in front of City Hall as the Fentons stepped down and the mayor once again climbed up to address the crowd.

"I am sure everyone present appreciates all that you have done for our fair city. In closing, I must urge you all to use caution. The City Council only agreed to this plan after reviewing the results of the million dollar bounty issued last year. While fifty thousand is not as much, we are using this money to attract professional ghost hunters. For your own safety, please do not make any attempt to attack a ghost unless you are properly prepared and willing to accept all of the risks involved. Finally, the government agency Guys in White has agreed to turn over this mission to local hunters, provided they are allowed to do a private dissection once Jack and Maddie are finished with the remains."

Jazz's voice came out very small and shaky. "R-Remains?"

Tucker and Sam gave each other frightened looks. But then Danny said something that really freaked them out.

"Guys? Did that threat sound like an invitation to you?"