Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the original Boondock Saints movie. The only people I own are Alison, Pavlov and some of his workmen, Cian and that's it.

Author's Note: Hi everyone! Man I can't wait to keep on writing! I have the general outline of chapter 8 and 9 already, but chapter 10 is the one I'm looking most forward to! Anyways here is chapter 7. I know that the last and this one might be a bit cheesy with her feeling betrayed and all, but I just liked the idea, sorry if you don't. I want to thank everyone who takes the time to read my story!

I hope you like it! Enjoy!

Love,

EvilGirlLovesWriting

Chapter 7: Losing and retrieving

Alison had always been good at keeping her temper in check, even when she was little she had been a remarkably calm student. Her parents and her teachers always complimented her on keeping calm in whatever situation arose. What they did not know however, was that keeping your temper in check comes with a price. Whenever Alison did lose her temper, she lost it good.

One time in junior high her best friend was being picked on by some bully named Travis. He had harassed her for weeks now and Samantha couldn't handle the situation the same way Alison would've been able to. Alison couldn't stand to see her best friend like this and decided to act. One day after school she went home with Samantha knowing Travis always intercepted her on her way home. He did so today as well, though he never had expected that someone else was with her. For a moment that sidetracked him, but eventually he just decided it didn't matter.

When he came closer to them both Alison told him to stay away. This made him laugh but not stop. When he was close enough to touch Samantha, Alison slid in front of her. 'Leave her alone.' She said more sternly now. 'Or what?' He challenged her with narrowed eyes. She narrowed her eyes as well, getting annoyed. 'Or I'll make sure you'll regret it.' He laughed at this and just shoved her aside. This wasn't the reason she lost her temper, she could handle a shove, however what came next made her angry as hell. Travis grabbed Samantha's hair and pulled it hard. Samantha whimpered and Travis pushed her onto the pavement. That, he was going to regret.

Travis was at least a foot taller than her and firmly built. There was no way she could even scratch him, or so she would've thought before losing her temper. Afterwards she couldn't describe what had happened, or at least she said she couldn't. Her parents, Samantha's parents and even Travis' parents believed her. The fact that something had happened that had traumatized her and made her mind protect itself by forgetting everything was so much easier to believe than what Travis had told his parents. How could a girl like Alison, which was in no way stronger than Travis, ever have given him a black eye and broken his arm. It just wasn't possible, especially when the girl who attacked him always kept her calm.

It's funny how people always seem to think of something that would explain the unexplainable. Alison knew what had happened, she knew what she had done and exactly how. But even if she would've told them that she had been able to surprise him by flinging herself at him and hitting him with clenched fists, that she had avoided his defensive swing and grabbed his arm turning it the wrong way and breaking it, they would've believed her. She couldn't even fully believe, and she had been there. The story the parents and the doctors came up with consisted of a hit and run that left her traumatized and him confused.

Samantha never spoke about the incident ever again. Not to her parents, not to the police, the doctors, not even to her. She never spoke another word about anything to Alison, she didn't dare to look at her. That was Alison's first lesson to not trust people. She had done her best to save her best friend, and then the same best friend turned against her.

She groaned at the memory, this was just another one of those lessons she seemed to never learn from. She had trusted the boys, with her life, and they had betrayed that trust by keeping it from her. She had been complaining about the wounds those damn Russians had caused for three days now, and they never even found a chance to tell her that one wound wasn't the fucking Russians' fault?

She wasn't even that mad about Murphy shooting her. The fact that they didn't tell her pissed her off so much more. Ah come on. It's not exactly an easy thing to say she hushed the voice inside her head. She was mad and didn't want to hear her own reasoning, even if it would be right.

She was walking through the streets of a place she hardly knew just because she had trusted those two stupid Irish pricks. And nice. Sweet. Caring. 'shut up' she hissed to herself.

The voice was right. They had been nice, sweet and caring towards her from the moment they met. That was just because she had gotten shot by one of them though, they just felt guilty.

You know that isn't true. She sighed in defeat at that, yeah she knew. She knew that everything they'd done, every nice thing they'd said, it had all been completely sincere. This however made her only feel a bit better, she was still furious though. She was furious at herself for getting shot, at Pavlov for not being dead yet, at the Russians for causing at least one of her wounds and at the boys for lying.

She was about to lose her temper and she knew it. She had felt it coming at McGinty's already and even though the boys hurt her, she knew that if she hurt them in any way she would feel massively guilty. This was the reason she left in such a hurry, even forgetting her coat in the process. She'd hoped that maybe the cool night air could calm her down, she had thought wrong. At the moment it wasn't doing much apart from making her shiver. The quiet that the night brought along with herself made it worse. She couldn't choose to ignore her thoughts if she could hear them so clearly.

She had to do something to get everything out of her system, but what could she do? The moment the thought crossed her mind, someone seized her arm and pulled her into a dark alleyway. She was shoved onto the ground and fell, bottom first, into a puddle of water. She felt her pants getting soaked and groaned at the thought of having to walk home later in wet clothes. 'Stupid Irish pricks' she whispered under her breath. She knew what was happening at the moment wasn't even slightly their fault, but forgetting her coat was their fault and that the moment that was enough.

She finally looked up at the reason for her discomfort, feeling even more furious than she had been feeling before. Three large men were hovering over her like a vulture who saw his prey for the first time. She couldn't see much in the dark, but the light that the moon provided above her in combination with the street light at the beginning of the alley made it possible to see their grins.

'Well, well. Look at what I just picked off the street.' The left one said, his voice full of excitement. 'It's a shame she was left all by herself. This is a dangerous neighborhood. We should be gentlemen and help her.' The middle man said which made them all laugh, their shadows moving along.

She reached along her side for her gun suppressing a curse when realizing she wasn't carrying it with her. Of course she hadn't, the only thing they would be doing today was going to church right? How could she have ever known that the trip would end like this? And even if it had, how could she have ever even suspected she would be alone when it happened?

Suddenly she realized something. 'This' was exactly what she would need to calm down. These guys could be used to vent her anger on. They were going to hurt her, or try anyway, which made them bad men. If they would go to the police she could just say it was out of self defense, because that would be true. And on top of all that no one innocent would get hurt in the process at all.

It was nuts, she knew that, but her whole life had been nuts so she convinced herself she at least had a reason to do something nuts. After realizing all this she actually had to refrain from grinning up at the men, which probably would've made them realize something was up. When you attacked someone you would probably want to see just one expression, and so she gave it to them. Fear.

The middle man crouched to the ground and traced her cheek with his hand. 'What a gorgeous thing you are.' He said, his voice husky and filled with anticipation. She didn't know if he meant that as a compliment but she sure as hell didn't see it like that. The next thing he did was precisely what she needed to start her attack. He put his hand on the outside of her upper leg.

She kicked her leg straight up, hitting his face with full force. This made him fall over backwards, a wail of pain escaping his lips. The two other men had no idea what to do, this wasn't what they had expected at all. It should've been easy, that's what he told them. Just grab a girl on the street and rape her. They wouldn't be recognized, and even if they were the girl would be too scared to testify anyway.

She used their confusion and got up, glaring at them. She was pretty sure her face could be seen because of the light that reached her from the street. Her suspicions were confirmed when she could hear them gasp. 'What the fuck is this?' One of them asked, she couldn't be sure who it was. 'You know dear, you really should look out who you mess with.' She said with a hiss, a hint of satisfaction in her words.

The man didn't answer but tried to hit her instead. She easily avoided the sluggish punch and hit him against his head herself. He fell to the ground but scrambled up, quickly taking stance again. This time however he didn't punch her. Instead she was gripped around her hips from behind. The other guy had her locked in his arms and didn't seem to have any intentions of letting go. The man before her dared to laugh now, finally, and cracked his knuckles with pleasure. The punch hurt. She felt her tooth cut her upper lip and hissed.

'You really shouldn't have done that.' She said, feeling like a movie star with some cliché line. The only difference was that she actually meant it. Her rage had subsided a little after being able to hit two of the men down, but now it returned seven fold. No more misses nice girl.

She used her head as a weapon this time, and aimed for the head behind her. She heard a crack that would've been sickening if she had stopped and thought about what she'd just heard. She didn't however and turned around at the loosened grip. She kneed him in the gut.

The man dropped to the ground circling his arms around his stomach. In the light from the street she could see his nose bent in a strange angle. Then she turned back to the man who'd hit her and kicked him against the shin. He dropped down to his knees and after a knee kick against his chin he fell down unconscious. The man she had kicked first had gotten up, but he didn't dare to come closer to her after seeing what she had just done to his 'friends'. Instead he was pressed up against the wall, trying to slip to the back of the alleyway without being seen. She walked up to him which made him cringe away. 'Listen to me. If you ever do anything like this again, you're dead.' He flinched at the last word. 'You understand?' She asked, he nodded quickly and sighed relieved when she turned around to walk away.

While making her way back to the street, planning on going back to McGinty's to grab her coat, she noticed two guys staring at her with stunned expressions.

The boys had been searching for some time now, but to no avail. They had absolutely no clue where she had gone and were getting more frantic by the second. The moment they heard a wail coming from an alleyway a few yards ahead their heads snapped up. They shared a glance and then both started running as fast as they could. Arriving at the alley they stopped dead and stared wide eyed at the ordeal that was going on in front of them.

The streetlight gave off a radiant glow and made it possible to distinguish four figures. Three burly men and a woman. One man was on the floor clutching his face while the other two were frozen in place. 'What the fuck is this?' One of them asked. The woman laughed humorlessly, 'You know dear, you really should look out who you mess with.' She hissed menacingly. It was loud enough for them to recognize the voice as Alison's. They were just about to intervene when the man tried to hit her, with emphasis on the word 'tried'. She ducked to avoid it and hit him against his temple. This froze the boys in place. What the hell was going on here?

The man scrambled up, asking for her full attention. She was oblivious to the fact that the other man was behind her now. The man gripped her from behind and held on to her. The man in front of her laughed and punched her. The boys both flinched and were on their way to help again when she hissed something else they couldn't quite make out. They could however make out how she snapped her head back which made the man behind her clutch his nose. She turned around and kicked him in the gut. The man ended up on his knees, groaning in pain. When she saw he was down she turned to the one who'd punched her and kicked him against his shin. He also fell to his knees and after a knee placed neatly under his chin, he was unconscious.

After she turned to the man who had first fallen she told him something and then headed back to the street. She noticed them and froze in place. It was quiet, eerily quiet. The boys wanted her to say something, but she didn't. Instead Connor cleared his throat.

'Remember me to never get into a fight with her Murph.' He joked, trying to lighten the mood. Murphy swallowed scared that she might be too mad at them to say anything. He wanted to ask her a million things, first of all if she was ok, but if she was really mad at her it didn't seem like he could. 'I'm afraid we already have Conn.' They kept quiet for a few moments when finally Murphy couldn't stop himself anymore.

'Are ye ok love?' He asked her. She didn't move, just kept staring. Her thoughts were battling each other, trying to find the right thing to do. The joke they'd made would've normally made her laugh, but right now she didn't know if she wanted to. The last person who had seen her fight had never spoken to her again, but that surely wouldn't apply to these guys right? Wait, why are you even wondering about that? She asked herself. They lied to you remember?

'Alison?' Connor asked, taking a step forward. That did it. Her whole course of thoughts changed. They were worried about her, she could see it and felt the trust she had had for them slip back in. They cared about her, she was sure of that now, but she had to know one more thing before giving in.

'Do you guys promise never to lie to me, or keep things from me, again?' She asked them. They looked relieved when she had spoken and both nodded vehemently. 'We promise.' Connor said sincerely. 'I'm sorry love, we never meant to hurt ye. We just..' He couldn't find the words. 'We just couldn't find a time to tell ye. We are sorry, can ye please forgive us?' Murphy finished. He sounded desperate and to be honest they both looked desperate for her to forgive them. Their desperation made it all the more obvious that they cared for her and she smiled. 'Of course.' She said, suddenly feeling tired.

She had used up all her energy while fighting and had the feeling she could faint any moment now. The adrenaline she had had in her system before, was slowly subsiding. The boys noticed her falter when she walked towards them and they were able to catch her before she hit the ground. Her knees were too weak to carry her and Murphy picked her up in his strong arms.

Exactly the same thing had happened all those years ago when she'd fought Travis. After the fight she had felt drained and she had fainted. Right now however she didn't faint, though her eyes were drooping. Another difference was that she felt safe. Completely and utterly safe in the arms of Murphy. She buried her head in his chest and listened to his heart beat. Before they returned to the apartment she had fallen into a deep sleep.

She woke up back in the king sized bed again the next morning. Normally when she woke up she could still hear the boys snoring next to her, but today that wasn't the case. She sat up and looked around the room. The only person she saw was Da who was sitting in his usual place with the newspaper again. 'Ah, ye're awake lass.' He said with a smile. She frowned and tried to find any trace of the boys. 'Where are they?' She asked. Da's lips flattened in a straight line and he looked away. 'Da?' she asked, getting nervous now. Were they mad at her for leaving the bar? Did they not want to see her anymore? She felt herself getting mad at that thought, she hadn't been the one to keep things from them, or had she. She swallowed away some bile at the sudden realization. Of course she had not told them everything about her life, but could they actually see that as keeping things from them as well? Had they found out about her past?

'Are they mad at me?' She asked with a tiny voice when Da didn't answer her. His head snapped up and he looked surprised. 'Mad? Why would they be mad?' He asked. Before she could answer the door opened and the boys entered with grins on their faces. She was out of bed and in Murphy's arms within seconds. For a moment he was frozen in place, not sure what was going on, but then hugged her back with a smile playing on his lips. 'Good morning to ye too lass.' He said in her hair. When she was out of his hug she hugged Connor as well, which made Murphy feel a bit jealous. He soon shook it off, not even wanting to know what the feeling meant.

They noticed tears rolling down her cheek when she had gotten out of Connor's hug. 'What's wrong love?' Connor asked her, worried. Murphy was looking at her in the same way which made her laugh at the ridiculousness of what she had thought before. They could never have found out, she wouldn't be alive if they had now would she? This thought didn't make her feel better though. 'Nothing, I just… I was afraid you guys were mad at me.' She looked away, afraid of seeing their reaction. 'Mad? Why the fuck would we be mad at ye? Ye were mad at us remember.' Murphy said, confusion on his face. She grinned at him. 'Yeah, I was.' She went back to the bed and sat down. They boys had made her feel better again and she pushed away the thoughts she had before.

She noticed she was still wearing the clothes from last night and she wanted to take a shower, but before she could say so Connor asked her something.

'What?' She asked, being pulled back to reality from her thoughts. 'Ye used the word 'was'. Does that mean ye're not mad anymore?' She felt confusion rise in herself now. She was positive she had forgiven them yesterday, right? 'I thought..' She thought back again and then decided she had forgiven them already. 'I thought I had already forgiven you guys.' She said. The boys glanced at each other and laughed sheepishly. 'Well yeah, but… we didn't know if ye might've changed yer mind.' Connor explained. She laughed at that, 'Of course not. You are forgiven.' This made them grin again. They both bowed in a servant kind of way and thanked her. She rolled her eyes but had to laugh anyway, they really were fun to be around with.

She jumped off the bed and said she would be taking a shower while they were making breakfast. Murphy and Connor glanced at each other. 'Yeah, you are making breakfast boys. Good luck.' She winked at them and then went into the bathroom.

The thoughts she had pushed away earlier were still nagging at the edge of her mind. She was feeling utterly guilty now. She had actually gotten mad yesterday because they had kept something from her, but what had she been doing to them? She was keeping a lot more from them than just that one thing. She sighed while getting out of her clothes. So what was she supposed to tell them? Everything? They surely had questions after what had happened last night, there was no doubt about that.

She got into the shower and let the water calm her. The truth was she never even had told anyone about her sister before, they had been the first. So if she had trusted them with that information, shouldn't she be able to trust them with the rest as well? But it was hard to start a conversation with them. She couldn't just walk up to them and tell them she had gotten martial arts training and a black belt. That wasn't even the worst part yet. Maybe if they asked her how she had become so good at fighting she could tell them. But how was she ever going to tell them that she had been part of the Russian mob? That was impossible!

They would surely hate her after she told them. Would they leave her alone again? Tell her she had to leave? The thought of being cast out of the safe harbor she had finally found made her feel sick. The boys had been the best friends she had ever had, they were family, just like Da. How could she even survive without them anymore? The twins' pranks, their language, their horrible cooking skills, all of it had become heaven to her. Just like Da's soft chuckles, the sound of a page from the newspaper being turned or his stern voice when the boys did something they shouldn't be doing but the laugh that followed after their explanation.

Murphy's snoring and the twinkle in his eyes whenever he found he could do something mischievous, she would miss that more than anything. She would miss him more than anything. This realization made her even more sick and she had to jump out of the shower to throw up in the toilet. If she told them, she could lose all of them. She could lose Murphy, even though he probably never would feel the same way about her, she couldn't bear the thought of losing him. She had fallen in love with him.

She was lucky that the sounds of the shower drowned out the sound of her throwing up, but the taste of bile wouldn't leave her mouth. She sat herself down in the shower, in the middle of the water spray and felt horrible. She couldn't lose them, she just couldn't. But after all they had done for her….

Suddenly she stood up and turned the shower off. She had made a decision. While getting dressed she took a few deep breaths to calm herself. She was going to tell them. There was no way around it. She had absolutely no clue what she could expect from them as a reaction, but one thing was for sure. After helping her, taking care of her, worrying about her and letting her stay here, they deserved to know the truth. Even if that would make her lose them. Even if she would end up all alone again.

Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading! Please review and let me know what you think...