characters (POVs underlined): Jasper/Bella, Edward/Alice

warnings: au/ah. wip. explicit content. profanity.

disclaimer: fic•tion [fíksh'n]: literary works of imagination

author's notes: w00t, i really felt like writing some other perspectives, let me know what you think of them. i'm quite proud of how long and decent this chapter turned out. extras are on my profile, like what my characters wear, and story banners. thanks to all you wonderful readers that have left me comments/reviews! super special thanks to helaluvE for sharing her thoughts with me!

OF LOVE AND RAZORBLADES;;

chapter six: ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring

(Alice POV)

The first time I ever saw Bella I only noticed her because of the hunk on her arm. Jasper Hale: tall, blond, and absolutely delicious from top to bottom. Bella didn't really stand out, which I think was something she preferred, despite having the looks and personality to be universally likeable. She found her own friends in Rosalie and Emmett, and of course she was married to Jasper. They always seemed like such an unbreakable tight click, exclusive. I'd never wanted to be part of any clicks clearly defined like that, but that band of friends was something new. I found them fascinating.

I didn't know how Tanya Denali had so quickly found her place with them. I could understand why though: it seemed that Bella was in the habit of surrounding herself with the most gorgeous people walking around on campus. Tanya Denali was a fucking legend. I think I was one of the first ones to actually sleep with her in freshman year. And I wouldn't object to doing it again. Rosalie Hale was known all over campus as 'the girl next door', meaning no one could have her except for her man Emmett.

Emmett McCarty was equally a legend, in the frat boy world that was. He was at every single frat party, was the president of a dozen clubs, and of course had the help of his Rosalie in the process. Come to think, Tanya did seem like the odd one out. It was Jasper and Bella I knew almost nothing about. I saw them walking around on campus all the time, in love to the point where anyone would get jealous, but I knew nothing off their pasts. And it was the mystery surrounding them that I found most intriguing.

Bella and I had talked a few times, back when I was Carlisle's TA, and even helped her out with some assignments. She was sweet, and nice, and not to mention absolutely gorgeous too, but she never seemed to realise that about herself. It always seemed to me that she was hiding something beneath the surface. Like somehow she was pretending to be someone she wasn't. Maybe that was why we never really clicked, and didn't become friends. Something told me that me being with Edward had suddenly changed that.

I'd seen the looks Bella threw Edward, and the ones he gave her in return. I didn't think they were interested in each other, but they were definitely curious enough to want to get to know each other. That made it all the more interesting for me. I liked Bella, and she was my way into this click that had been fascinating me for the past two years. It was a way into Tanya's arms, and who knew, maybe some other fun in the process by the name of Jasper Hale. They might have been married, but I'd seen Bella flirt with enough guys to suspect she slept around.

I wasn't looking to catch them in the act, or lying in wait until I was able to catch them. I'd brought Edward some coffee while he worked late in Professor Molina's office, and I thought I'd drop by Doctor Cullen's office to say hi. But when I got there, the smell of their two bodies was already in the air. I'd wanted to turn away, to look away immediately, but then I saw Bella catching my eyes, and not releasing them. I was pinned in place. And so fucking horny just watching them.

I'd never wanted to touch myself so badly; I'd never wanted to touch two people so badly at the same time. Jasper was actually holding her up against the bookcase; I'd only ever experienced that kind of strength in Edward. Jasper Hale wetted my appetite in a way not a lot of men were able to anymore.

"How do I look?" I asked Edward, putting in my earrings in front of the mirror. I was actually nervous about this dinner. Part of me knew that Edward had been my ticket into this group of people, and I felt bad for using him, but Edward and I had an understanding about those things.

"You look beautiful," he said, but he hadn't even so much as looked at me. He was nervous too, and I felt a little bit of panic striking my heart. We'd only been together for a few months, and hadn't talked about exclusivity or anything, but I wasn't quite sure how I thought about Edward and some other girl. I knew I had no right to see him as my sole property, after all, I slept around too, but I knew Edward as a stand-up guy and a true gentleman. I'd feel insulted if he fell for another girl, because he'd never just sleep around with someone.

"You always say that." I turned around, and looked at him, slightly agitated. He could at least try.

He looked up at me, guilt in his eyes. I felt instantly bad for calling him out on it. Edward had this way about him; he could beg forgiveness just by looking at me the right way. "That's because it's true." He walked over to me, and wrapped his arms around me. I smiled up at him, forgiving him just like he was no doubt expecting me to, and let him kiss me.

(Bella POV)

"Here. Brought you this." Edward held out a bottle of wine for Jasper. I was sitting at the living room table, resting my knee. Alice ran over to me, and handed me a small plant.

"Thanks so much," I said. Alice bend down and kissed my cheek. We locked eyes, her green ones resting in mine for a few seconds. Alice smiled at me softly, kindly, but she had this way of putting a devious glint in her eyes that told me all about her. She knew I'd seen her watching us last night; she knew I'd let her watch us.

"Bee, don't you dare get up from that chair," Jasper called out to me from the kitchen when he saw me get up to kiss Edward on the cheek as well. "So help me God, I will sit you right back down."

"Yes, sir." I saluted Jasper, and smiled up at Edward. Edward leaned in and kissed my cheek. He smelled so fucking natural and untouched that I wanted to run my nose along his skin and breathe him in. But I contained myself.

Alice's eyes went wide in mockery after hearing Jasper's orders. "Bossy much," she said.

"She's been on her feet all day making dinner." Jasper walked over and put the opened bottle of wine on the table. He looked at me in warning, and I narrowed my eyes conspicuously. "If she doesn't rest her leg now, she'll go through it again in no time."

"What's wrong with it anyway?" Alice looked back at me in wonder, after Jasper went back to the kitchen. "Wouldn't surgery help?"

"We're saving up," I nodded, deliberately answering only one of her questions. Alice didn't need to know how I'd hurt it in the first place. "But I deemed our college educations more important for the time being."

Suddenly, a clattering sound filled up the apartment. Jasper had dropped something in the kitchen. I chuckled, and started to get up from the table, but Alice stopped me. "Don't get up!" She put out her hands. "I'll go help him." And before I could protest she had already joined Jasper in the kitchen. I was left alone with Edward in the living room.

"Wine?" I asked, and Edward nodded in response. He sat down opposite me at the living room table, avoiding my eyes. I poured four glasses of wine. "Do you guys live on campus?" I asked, and looked up at him curiously.

"I do," Edward nodded, and shifted in his seat. Was it just me or was he actually nervous? I found it absolutely adorable. "And Alice's practically living there now too." He leaned his arms down on the table, and smirked at me. His lips curled to the right, leaving a dimple in his cheek. "But she has her own place in town, close to where she works." He cleared his throat and looked away from me. It seemed that I was making him uncomfortable.

I heard Alice giggle, and both Edward and I looked towards the kitchen. I briefly wondered what she and Jasper were talking about. "And here we are." Alice appeared from the kitchen suddenly, wearing oven mitts to carry the hot tray over to the table. "Mushroom ravioli." She put the tray down in the middle of the table, and served all of us. "I didn't know you could cook," she said as she handed me my plate.

"Bella was cooking in the womb," Jasper answered for me as he sat down next to me. "You should have seen the look on our mom's face, waking up to Bella cooking breakfast for the entire family." Alice and Edward threw each other a sideway glance, noticing how Jasper had said our mom, and I couldn't help but smile at him.

"We grew up in foster care," I explained. Both Alice and Edward looked down apologetically. "It's how we met." I looked at Jasper, and he grinned at me. The look he gave me made me feel warmer inside.

The phone by the bed rang suddenly; Jasper got up to answer it.

"Edward grew up in foster care as well," Alice said. Edward glanced at her briefly, making it pretty clear that this wasn't something he wanted to talk about. I couldn't really blame him.

"Oh, you did?" I asked carefully, even though I didn't want to ask him about it. But I felt like Alice had driven us in a corner it was difficult to get out off.

"Yeah. My parents died when I was six." Edward took a sip from his wine, and stared down at his plate. "I was adopted into my foster family a few years later." He was one of the lucky ones then. I had spent my youth in one and the same foster family, but Jasper had been bouncing around for several years before ending up in the same family as me.

I was grateful when Jasper joined us at the table again. "Who was it?" I asked him.

"Phil," he said softly, and squeezed my arm under the table. I tried my best not to lose my calm right there and then. Always in the way that man. "Told him you'd get him later," Jasper added, just to avoid raising suspicions. He knew I wouldn't be returning the call.

"You don't have to mind us." Alice looked at me concerned. "Go right ahead."

"No God, it's okay." I shook my head. I thought it was best to go with the same lie Jasper had just started. "My uhm... stepdad and I don't really get along. But I'm all he has since my mom died. Trust me, if I took the phone I'd be on it for hours."

"So you met in foster care," Edward changed the subject now. I think both Jasper and I realised that Edward had picked up on the lie. It was insane how attracted I was starting to feel to this man. "You've been together since?"

"Would have if it'd been up to me," Jasper huffed, turning his glass in his hands.

I rolled my eyes and looked at him. We'd had this conversation many times before. I was twelve when we first met, and in no way interested in starting a relationship, if I even knew what that meant back then. "We were friends long before we ever got together," I told Edward.

"That's good, to have that basis and know each other before plunging into the deep," Edward said. I looked at him curiously, disbelieving what I was actually hearing. He really was a gentleman, and a romantic soul at that. Did that mean I had no shot with him without getting to know him?

"Hey!" Alice complained, feigning insult, and she poked Edward hard in his side.

"Of course I don't mean you, babe." Edward threw an arm around Alice and pulled her closer in a hug. My eyes didn't leave Edward's body; Alice's eyes didn't leave me. "How long did it take you to haul her in?" he asked Jasper.

"Hey!" it was my turn to feel insulted. It seemed that underneath the gentleman exterior, there was a real college guy as well. I could live with that. And I could definitely use that to my advantage.

"Four years, man," Jasper answered, and grinned. "Four fucking years."

"What finally made you cave?" Alice asked, mesmerized. I never thought anyone would be this interested in knowing this about Jasper and me. But then maybe in Alice's case I knew exactly why; she was curious to learn more about us. "Oh do tell, Bells," she added. The nickname made my heart rate rise; only Phil ever called me that, and that wasn't exactly something I needed to remember. Jasper laced his fingers with mine underneath the table.

"Well," I started, and looked at Jasper briefly. I could do this properly; we'd told this lie before. "I got asked to prom by a senior when I was sixteen. Of course I was absolutely thrilled. I dressed up nicely, got all excited; and I was having a great time too. Until he decided to get drunk." It became easier to tell the story every time I repeated it. The past didn't matter anyway.

"Asshole," Jasper sneered.

"Jazz." I squeezed his hand in return. I knew he didn't like me euphemizing this part. "Anyway, he started groping me on the dance floor, and if there's one thing a guy did not do to me, was grope me. Suddenly Jasper jumps out of the shadows, pushes him off me, but I was not letting him off the hook that easy."

"Oh my God, did you hit him?" Alice asked excitedly; she seemed absolutely thrilled to hear this story. Our story wasn't exactly something to get excited about. But I guessed that was just the way Alice was.

"Oh, she hit him alright," Jasper answered for me. "Socked him one right on the nose. Guy couldn't breathe right for a week."

"That's so romantic," Alice almost squealed.

"We've been inseparable ever since," I concluded.

"And then you got married. Oh my God, that's just so romantic!" Jasper and I exchanged looks; we knew it was everything but. In reality, James the jock, had tried to rape me in the parking lot. I had hit him, but only because I was afraid that Jasper might actually kill him. I'd never seen him that angry, so protective of me. It had definitely given me a lot to think about.

After dinner, Alice commanded the boys to do the dishes, seeing as how I couldn't get up, and the girls needed to catch up. Jasper and Edward didn't argue.

"So how did you two meet?" I asked, watching Edward walk towards the kitchen. I didn't even mind if Alice noticed it. "I thought you went back home after..." I didn't really want to say it out loud; I had no idea how Alice felt about getting fired by Carlisle.

"Oh yeah, I did for a while," Alice nodded, and kept her eyes on me. It seemed she had no problem with talking about this whatsoever. "I met Edward there, he was visiting a friend. When I heard he was coming here as TA, I decided to come back myself. Face those rumours head on."

"I'll drink to that." I raised my glass and we both took a sip.

"I'm sorry about yesterday," Alice blurted out suddenly. I blinked, putting down my glass slowly, but Alice only kept staring at me. I felt a coy smile creeping along my lips, and before I knew it I was grinning at her softly.

"That's okay," I said eventually, and didn't once release her gaze. "We didn't mind," I specifically added Jasper to my statement. He'd loved it just as much as I did.

Alice's eyes widened slightly, but she kept any further excitement to herself. She uncrossed her legs underneath the table, and crossed them again, sitting up straighter. It was clear that she had no idea where to go from here. It was one thing to learn about how Jasper and I met, but to learn that we liked people watching while we had sex? Now that was entirely different thing.

"So you guys..." Alice didn't finish her sentence; she was at a total loss for words.

"Well, we're not prudes, that's for sure," I answered, and sniggered. What else does a person say to that? Alice giggled loudly, throwing her head back.

(Edward POV)

The first time I ever saw Bella, she was talking to Professor Molina in the hallway. She stood clutching a folder in her arms, supporting the underside of it on her hip. It was the hottest thing I'd ever seen. There was a ring around her ring finger, and one around her index finger; I spotted them when she brushed her hair back behind her ears. She smiled at Professor Molina shyly, but it all seemed an act, a theatre play she put on for a world she tried to protect herself against.

When Professor Molina told me she was Doctor Cullen's TA, and told me I'd probably be seeing more of her in the course of the year, I had to go see her again. So I went to Cullen's class, only to find out that she didn't just physically peek my interest, but intellectually too. Any girl that could talk literature with me, was worth getting to know. Especially if we disagreed about things.

Once I found out she was married to Jasper Hale, I tried to put her out of my mind, I tried to forget about her, but that proved harder than expected. She was practically everywhere, working closely with Professor Molina as well, and of course Alice had to go and befriend her, pulling me closer to her again. And the looks she threw me didn't help either. I didn't know what kind of relationship she and Jasper had, but they seemed genuinely in love. So why tease me?

And then when I kissed her on the cheek, her scent hit me like a fucking train. There weren't layers and layers of soap and ointments, or even any trace of perfume. This was a natural girl, top to bottom and I'd never wanted anyone so badly before. It sounded like a sad scene from some kind of messed up fairytale, but I didn't care, I was under some kind of spell.

"So you and Alice Brandon, hu?" Jasper asked me when we were alone in the kitchen doing the dishes; we heard the girls chatting in the living room as well. I didn't know where his question came from, but I could guess. I didn't know Alice before transferring to Stanford, so the rumours had only reached me later. I didn't care for them either way; I knew who Alice was, and what her sexual preferences were. What I did with her, and how I dealt with her other exploits was really only my business.

"She's cool. Forget what people say about her." I grinned, putting the fourth plate on the clean pile. Jasper threw a towel over his shoulder, grabbing the pile of plates and placing them in the proper cupboard. I couldn't help but take a glance at his wedding ring. Why'd she have to be married? Why couldn't I ever fall for normal girls?

"I don't give a shit about what people say." Jasper turned, and leaned back on the counter. This guy wasn't even trying to give me reasons to hate him, which I desperately wanted to do. "Alice has always been good to us. Especially now, helping Rose with her wedding and all." He walked over the fridge, and handed me a beer. I definitely had to get Bella off my mind. This just wasn't fair, or right.

It didn't help that as we left, Alice hugged Bella tightly, which was enough to give any guy new fantasies to jerk off on. But the look Bella threw me over Alice's shoulder while biting down on her bottom lip, travelled straight to my cock and made it fucking wheeze.

After that, it seemed that Alice couldn't get me home soon enough. And I couldn't disagree with her, I had to get naked with her, right there and then, the moment we walked through the door of my apartment. Thank God for Alice and her predisposition to wear cute little dresses that came off easily. I stripped the garment off in one fail swoop; she wasn't even wearing any underwear.

I pushed her up against the wall, her lithe form moulded against my body like it was made for it, but I imagined Bella's body would do the exact same thing. She was so gracefully slender, perfect in every way. At this point I didn't even care who I was thinking about. I grabbed a handful of Alice's hair, and kissed her. Her lips parted for me immediately, my tongue pushing past her teeth; I loved the taste of her, but I imagined how Bella would taste. Sweeter than Alice, purer, more perfect.

Alice unbuttoned my shirt, ripping off the two last buttons, her hands roaming over my torso, down in my pants. She didn't even bother unbuttoning my jeans, her little hand grabbed hold of my erection, and started pumping it. "Alice." I released her lips in a breath. "Slow down," I moaned, but she'd already picked up on the urgency.

"I want you inside me," she wailed against my skin, finally releasing my hard cock from my pants. Good God, I needed to get off now, and I needed to get off hard. She whimpered when I lifted her up easily, her legs wrapping around my waist like they were made for it. I ignored it. I grabbed her ass tightly when I felt her hand wrap around my erection, and guide it to her entrance. She was already so wet for me, eagerly waiting to take me in. "Edward," she called my name.

I had to stop her from talking, I had to keep myself from looking at her. Bella was on my mind, had been for such a long time now. I wasn't having sex with my girlfriend, I was cheating on her with Bella in my head. I pushed inside, making Alice cry out again, so I captured her lips again to drown out the noises. But I couldn't keep that up, I needed to move, I needed to fuck her the way I needed to.

I lifted her up in my arms, and moved further into the apartment. I put Alice down on the sofa underneath me. When I felt her hands digging into my hair, I imagined them being Bella's hands. I closed my eyes and saw only Bella, crying my name, begging me for more while I fucked her hard and fast, eliciting such delicious sounds from her it only seemed to make me harder. "Fuck," I muttered against her skin, moving even faster, fucking Alice the way I never had before.

"Edward!" a scream, and it was Bella's voice, even though I knew better. My orgasm hit me like a tidal wave, pulsing from deep within my groin, pouring out of me with every move, every single time I pumped in and out of Alice. I wanted to shout her name in return, but I knew it wasn't the name I would shout, so I buried my face in her hair, and released a shout, gibberish, but it overwhelmed me.

"That was different," Alice exasperated as I collapsed on top of her. She chuckled underneath me, but I couldn't find the strength to laugh. "Baby, that was amazing." Her hands dug into my hair, her legs wrapping tighter around my waist again, her lips finding mine. I kissed her, because I didn't have the strength to deny her, and because frankly, I felt guilty.

I'd just turned into the kind of guy I never thought I'd be.

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