You know what's really weird? I did not read Deidara's bio at all and yet my storyline has managed to coincide with the canon history for him. It's so freaky!

And I got my wisdom teeth out. I ache everywhere in my face. It sucks. But thank you for all of my reviews. Especially fanofthisfiction for reviewing every single chapter. That is dedication, I swear. (And I meant to post this earlier, but I forgot to with the whirl of trying to finish summer homework. Sorry!)

Chapter 7: Fear

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"What are you afraid of?"

The question was posed by Sakura, her brows knit in concentration as she tried to decipher the blonde prisoner she'd spent the last two months with. Despite all their time and conversations together, she felt she had barely scratched the surface. Who knew the idiot blonde of the Akatsuki could be so complex?

Deidara pulled his gaze from the ceiling to look at her. He'd been tracing patterns in the water droplets pooling on the ceiling after watching them drip onto the floor got boring. It was sad how this was probably the closest thing he had to a starry night sky, but that thought was cut short when a droplet landed on his nose. He flinched. It was cold.

"Think I was born yesterday? If I told you, you'd tell Danzou to try and get me to talk. I'm not telling you."

Sakura rolled her eyes. They both knew she wouldn't do that—she had as much dislike towards the scarred man as Deidara had—but it appeared that Deidara was in one of his moods again. Since the beginning of his imprisonment, Sakura found that there were days when Deidara would be…difficult. That was a good way to describe it, difficult. In any event, it was during these "moods" that Deidara would become snappish and resist any attempts for their many conversations. If she didn't know any better, she would've sworn Deidara was having a PMS-fit. She sighed.

"I'm not going to tell him. You and I both know that," she said in exasperation. She hated Danzou enough already. The pompous way he carried himself got on her nerves. Having to talk to him would surely end up with him being blown through a wall.

As if reading her thoughts, Deidara sniggered to himself. "You were having that fantasy about punching him through a wall again, weren't you?"

Sakura didn't say anything, but she let a smile tug at her lips, sending Deidara backwards howling with laughter. Sakura let a few chuckles of her own come out. She wasn't surprised he knew. She had let it slip on one occasion after Deidara came back from another interrogation session with the man. Though she'd had very few interactions with him when she sat in on meetings with Tsunade, she had to hand it to Danzou. He was quite the ass if he could send Tsunade into a drinking binge after just one five-minute meeting.

"Okay…" said Deidara still chortling. He wiped a tear from his eye. "I'm in a better mood now," he stated. Rocking forward, he crossed his legs and held his ankles and looked at her expectantly. "So what did you want to talk about?"

"What are you afraid of?" she repeated. "Are you afraid of anything?"

Deidara blinked. "What do you mean?"

"I mean…I've been with you for two months and I've never seen you freak out at anything! Is there nothing you're afraid of?"

Seeing her frazzled appearance, it seemed that this had been plaguing her mind for a while. He chuckled.

"I'm flattered, Sakura-chan," he told her sincerely, a smile on his face, "but you should know that everyone is afraid of something. Even me."

"Oh yeah? Like what?" she asked curiously, scooting her stool closer to the bars. Deidara shook his head.

"Asker goes first," he insisted. Sakura tensed and laughed nervously.

"Me first, huh?"

Deidara nodded.

"I…I'm afraid of the dark."

Deidara narrowed his eyes and scoffed. "Yeah right. You wouldn't be fit to call yourself a kunoichi if you couldn't handle that, so stop lying to me, pinkie."

Sakura huffed. "How would you know that I'm lying?" she asked defensively. Deidara rested his face on his hand and sighed.

"Well, first off...you don't make eye contact. Second, your voice becomes slightly higher. And thirdly, your left eyebrow twitches for a second," he said marking off the signs with his fingers. Sakura frowned. She'd have to work on masking those things before her next mission.

"That being said," he continued, "you were lying to me. So spill." His visible eye stared at her eagerly as his voice dropped to a dark tone. "What is your deepest fear?"

Sakura bit her lip nervously. Unwanted, she could feel her heart rate jump, the organ thump-thumping against her ribcage as she weighed her indecision. Should she tell him? Sure, Deidara was a S-class killer and enemy shinobi and years of training told her not to trust him, but he was also somewhat of a friend, and the things they talked about held such weight that she found herself enjoying their conversations. She never talked like this with Ino and by giving his own secrets, she felt like she could give up her own.

This relationship of theirs was built on conversation and secrets. There were few fallacies between them. If the circumstances had been different, they would still be mortal enemies bent on killing each other, but the circumstances were not different. He was a prisoner and she was his warden. Due to this situation, a relationship formed. They were dependent on one another for company and conversation, an escape from where they were. She had no delusions that it was anything different, but they both knew that there was a vague friendship between them.

But maybe it wasn't so vague. She knew Deidara was using her as a toy to pass the time with—he'd said so himself when they began this relationship—but one did not divulge dark hidden secrets with toys, so maybe he trusted her more than she gave herself credit for. After all, Deidara was opening himself up to her, allowing himself to become vulnerable. So shouldn't she return the favor?

Sakura inhaled a few breaths to steady her too-taut nerves and blew them out slowly as she opened and closed her hands to release her stress. Knees to her chest, perched precariously on her chair, she told him. "I'm afraid of being alone."

Her eyes had lost the shine he had come to associate with her. Her face was weary and defeated. She looked like a wilted shadow of her namesake and instantly, Deidara thought of groves of sakura trees after their explosions of bloom. The petals were torn and dirty, rolling in the dirt and streets while the trees hung still and ominously bare. It was heart-breaking to see her like this.

He reached out to her through the bars and gently placed a comforting hand on her knee. She glanced up from the crook she had hidden her face in and gave a small smile of gratitude. Deidara, despite being a quick-tempered brat, could be surprisingly sweet sometimes and it made her heart ache as she thought of another blonde who was sweet to her.

Uzumaki Naruto was an annoying knucklehead of a ninja. With his flamboyant taste in color for clothing and his booming voice, he was guaranteed to fail any reconnaissance mission, but still, she couldn't hate him. She had no right to when all he ever did was love her enough to want to give her the world. Even at age twelve, he'd understood the grave implication of his words. He promised to bring back Sasuke, but if he were to succeed, Sakura would almost surely choose the broken Uchiha over him.

And yet, he still pushed forward. He'd almost gotten killed the first time and he was still trying to get him back, even now. Though she wasn't as conceited as to believe it was solely for her that he was bringing Sasuke back, Sakura was both touched and humbled by the depth of love and devotion he showed towards her, but she couldn't return his feelings. She doubted she ever would be able to. Sasuke's defection had broken more of her than either were willing to admit. If the circumstances had been different, she might have fallen for Naruto, loved him as much as he loved her. But things weren't as perfect as that. Sasuke's defection has torn a chasm in her heart that she would spend the rest of her life trying to fix. Love had no place in her heart now.

"Come on, pinkie. Who'd ever leave a girl like you alone?" His words were meant to be a comfort, but both knew it wouldn't work. The comment was too shallow to do much good. It was like applying salve to ruptured organs; it just wouldn't work. But still, the thought was touching and she pulled herself together long enough to smile at him without letting the irony show. Many people had already left her.

She rifled through the names and faces in her mind. Some had become blurred by time; she didn't remember half of the one-day friends she'd met during the early years of the Academy. Some people managed to stick though, like Ino. Ino had been one of the big losses in her life. She had lost the only girl to approach and befriend her when she was little and the subject of playground mockery. She had helped Sakura become more confident in herself, helped push her along and encourage her when she had been too afraid to do it herself. She was part of the reason why Sakura wanted to be a kunoichi, and she lost that friend to a boy.

Lee was another loss. Though she knew he had a duty to his own team, she was sad to see him go train with his team. Despite his self-proclaimed love towards her and all the help and support he'd given her, his bond with Team Gai was special. Gai-sensei, Neji, and Tenten were a family to him, and it made her heart ache to know Team 7, no matter how similar, would never be that picture-perfect.

Sasuke was a given loss. Many people had lost him just like how he lost many people. Still, though in the back of her mind she knew this was always a possibility—a probability—a reality, it didn't prepare her any better for the actual heart-crushing night he left. Naruto, on the other hand, was a different story.

Naruto had stuck by her since the Academy. She knew he loved her, she'd have to be blind not to. She already knew he'd do anything for her, but those three years away with Jiraiya had taught her something. He was her crutch; she depended on him more than she was willing to admit and it frightened her to lose him like she lost Sasuke. What was Team 7 without Sasuke and Naruto? What was she without Sasuke and Naruto? One member lost was enough; having both gone would be a nightmare she'd never want to know.

"I don't want them to leave me…" She didn't want anyone to leave her. She was a weak, selfish child. She'd clung shamelessly to the strength of others, and though she had learned to stand on her own two legs, she didn't know what would happen if they were to all leave her at once. She could handle Sasuke because she knew she'd get him back, if not her alone, then with the help of others.

But what if the others left too? She loved them, loved them like she loved Sasuke. But Sasuke had left; love hadn't been enough then. Even now, love wasn't enough. They were all bound for different paths. One day, their paths would split and Ino, Lee, and Naruto wouldn't be there for her to fall back on. Then where would she be? Would she be able to keep standing? Would she fall? All she knew was that she would be alone. Her love would fail to keep the people she held dearest to her once again, and it was an all too-terrifying, paralyzing fear to confront.

Deidara's arms reached through the bars to hold her. Through the gaps in the metal, she could feel his warmth invade her skin. Funny how warm Deidara was, she thought to herself as her chest was wracked with awful heaving sobs. Her tears and snot were soaking his shirt and undoubtedly, she looked horrible, but he was polite enough not to mind. He held her and comforted her through it all.

Pulling away, she sniffled and wiped away at the tears with the heel of her gloved palm. "Your t-turn," she said brokenly, her chest still seizing painfully. God, she must look like an absolute wreck right now.

Deidara's lips pulled into a grim line. He waited until her sobs had quieted before speaking. "I'm afraid…of being inferior," he confessed and instantly, he was brought back to that awful memory; of that empty street; of the flock of ravens; of Itachi; of those cold, unfeeling eyes staring back at him. He hated those eyes. They mocked him for all that he was worth and unbidden, his body erupted into shakes as a seething hatred curled coldly in his stomach. Itachi…that bastard, though it didn't seem possible during this lifetime, he'd get him one day and on that day, Itachi would recognize him. He would look at him and see Deidara for who he was: an enemy, a human, and equal.

Look at me…

Sakura's hushed voice brought him back to reality. "Why are you so afraid of being inferior?" she asked, wiping away a tear with the back of her hand.

"I had an older brother," he explained, "My parents absolutely fucking adored him. He was perfect in every way. Early graduate of the Academy, handsome, smart, talented…but when it came to me, all I'd ever hear was why wasn't I more like my brother?"

He turned to her, eyes dead and bitter as he laughed hollowly in the back of his throat. "Did you know? My father looked at me the same way Itachi did when I found my calling in the arts."

The disappointment and hurt played clearly over his eyes as his hands played idly with the fabric of his pants. Pinching the dark fabric over his knees, he smiled emptily in the dead air.

"I hate them both."