Author's Note: Thanks for looking into my story, and special thanks to kyub3y14 for being my second reviewer, and being such a kind one^^
And as requested, I will now move into my own AU a bit, taking up more on situations of the show, and not just repeating the lines and going into the inner perspective to give it more insight.
I take up on what sparked my interest most, so I skip to episode 4 and 5 in season 1, and bring them together, taking the snippets and pieces that I want most, but twist them for my own evil purposes.
I love AU for that.
Reviews are welcome and very, very, very much appreciated. Last one made me cry in joy!
Read, review, and hopefully enjoy ;)
If you want to keep something, you have to protect it. Isn't it like that? The more you value it, the more fences you build, the more weapons you get. You cling on to it with all your might because you can't imagine to be without it. It's a part of you, so deeply embedded into you that tearing it out is like tearing yourself in half.
We hear it in songs humming in the radio, watch it in cheesy romances, read it in cheap love novels.
You are always in my heart.
Always on my mind.
My heart, it only beats for you.
And we think that this is a good protection, because it is so close to us, right? We place those treasures in our heart because we value them that much. They are that important to us that we count them along the lines of our most vital part – our heart, our engine, what keeps us alive.
Makes us human.
Well, welcome to reality!
It's the worst place to hide your little treasures, to protect them.
Why?
Because this protection only works for as long as the threat comes from the outside.
But what if it comes from... within? Ever crossed the mind?
What if the threat goes to sleep right next to where you store your little treasures? Waves it good morning and kisses it good night?
Because, let's face it, we all have our little dark side. No one is innocent. We are all capable of the worst. And that is the threat to our heart, our life, our little treasures. By holding them so close, we constantly threaten to lose them.
The best protection seems to be to push them away, actually. Keep the treasures outside your heart. Watch from a distance. Then your little treasures are only confronted with the outside world, which is bad enough, of course, but at least they are not consumed by your own darkness. They don't have to go down along with your heart, with yourself, thanks to your dark side.
We want to protect, but we can't. And some even less than others. Because their dark side is just so, so strong, has large claws, white teeth, yellow eyes. It's tempting. Pulls you into yourself, consumes you. And sometimes... sometimes that dark side takes over.
Because we are just fed up being weak, longing for our treasures.
Dark sides are little bitches, craving attention, little Sirens in your head.
We feel the rush – because we stop thinking and simply answer this urge, this instinct to protect what is precious to us. The problem is that it makes us blind for reality, once again. We just feel euphoric for this one moment of false victory, but don't see that we are not protecting our treasures anymore, but leave them in the open, in the night.
We don't see that we actually lose.
The dilemma is just that simple: You can't protect yourself from yourself, from your dark side, because tearing it out is even worse than tearing out your treasures. It makes you collapse, die. And if you can't protect yourself, then how do you protect your little treasures in your heart?
So, better brace yourself.
Or maybe, just maybe... one of your treasures has enough courage to come to save you?
But by that time... it might be just too late already.
Josh slowly pries his eyes open against the harsh light evading his eyes. At first everything is a blur, but then he can make out the contours... of... a deer, a mauled, very dead, very mauled dead deer next to him... and blood all over him...
At this point the werewolf reconsiders going back to the basement, even though it was proven to be absolutely not safe – first Emily, and then the vandal he almost choked out in his canine-chaos. Nevertheless, the rusty metal gave Josh a sort of reassurance, strangely so. It was his "Cage" for that fleeting second before the turn. It was a way to contain the beast, keep it locked up, behind electric fences, but high voltage please.
But now Josh feels like he is one step back, maybe even three. The sight of the deer next to him only brings up the flashlights again, the smell of moss and blood, images of his lost friend, his life that died this very night. He is back to "Mother Nature" as Sally commented sarcastically. Though Josh still blames it on setting her up on that blind ghost date with Tony. Because even though she enjoyed his company and the advice later on, the female ghost declared that she is still mad at her two roommates for setting her up like that, even though Josh blames it on Aidan.
It was his idea, after all.
Speaking of Aidan... Josh should better get going to fetch some clothes, preferably his own. Or else the vampire will either give it yet another lewd comment or he won't let Josh in, or so he fears. Aidan likes to humiliate him, a bit, at times... often... At least Josh starts to laugh about it, even if more from embarrassment than anything else.
The young man is pulled out of musing as another waft of decaying deer forces its way up his nostrils, so the werewolf scrambles to his feet, instinctively grabbing for his crotch to cover his manhood. He glances around, still trying to figure out in which part of the woods he ended up in, since that is not where he left off to transform.
Damn, that means his clothes are somewhere, nowhere, everywhere.
Aidan won't let this go. And Josh is seemingly destined to give Aidan new fuel after each turn.
The normal troubles of a werewolf who is stuck with a witty vampire for a chaperone...
Josh sends a silent prayer to heaven that he didn't just end up enacting the Simpsons again, looking around dazed.
"You really don't know a thing, do you?" a voice rings out from not so far. Josh snaps his head around to see a seasoned man with cap and chequered flannel shirt standing there. Just what the hell is that guy doing here, spying on him, while he is walking around in his Adam's costume?!
"I, I, I...," Josh stammers helplessly, his mind deciding not to work for now.
"Here, put on these. That's awkward enough," the man tells him, throwing a duffel at Josh. The werewolf blinks at him, but then decides against declining with thanks because the prospect of clothes is now ever the more tempting. Josh quickly grabs the clothes he finds in them, despite the douchy-ness.
"Who, who are you?" Josh asks hesitantly. He never saw this man before, and it's not like it's usual for some hiker, if he is, to have some spare clothes with him that he willingly shares with someone who walks around in his nudes, next to a dead deer.
So much to how Josh is now to a state of normal.
"The name's Ray," the man tells him. "And ya, pal, don't know a thing of what to do as a wolf, do you?"
"I, I'm...," Josh stammers helplessly once again as the information tries to unfold inside his brain to force the penny over the edge to drop to the ground. However, Ray is so kind to verbalize what the penny means to tell Josh, "I'm a werewolf, too. I've watched you last night. You still got so much to learn."
Great, now Josh can't even use the cage anymore, but also needs a new forest.
It's just getting better and better, right?
Aidan is standing in the kitchen, heating up one of the blood bags. He is still trying to get used to the taste again, or rather lack of it, but it's getting better. After Bishop brought him to take live-blood again, Aidan wanted to spend the next days and nights down in the basement, shivering on the bed. Yet, he didn't – already to prove it to Josh and Sally that he is no bloody addict, or at least not as much. He hopped off the wagon, but the vampire is still eager to jump back on, even if that means some running and falling to the ground. Coming clean is not easy. If so, no one would be addicted anymore, right?
Aidan is pulled out of his musing when Josh storms inside.
"Oh, hey... what are you doing here so early? I wanted to come pick you up?" Aidan frowns. Their usual time is half an hour from now, which is why Aidan went for a little vampire breakfast before heading out. Aidan knows that Josh is still not all too fond of being forced back into the wilderness after the vandal debacle. However, if Josh walks back by foot, it means that something went wrong, majorly wrong. But when doesn't it?
Josh grumbles some incoherent curses, the way he usually does when he is agitated, so Aidan notes. He walks over to the fridge to grab something to drink. The vampire uses the moment to give his friend a quick look-over, his eyebrows knitted, "Why are you dressed like a douche?"
Josh grabs a bottle from the fridge, his fingers tightening around the plastic.
"Because a douche gave these clothes to me. No, wait, a werewolf douche gave them to me," Josh tells him, gritting his teeth. "I mean, here I think that things are panning out, that I'm back to normal again, but then... something like that happens. My life's hell."
And as Josh utters these words, Sally pops in with the same words, just louder, "My life's hell!"
"Oh, hey, yeah, I was just kinda saying that my life's hell, but let's talk about how your life is hell," Josh snorts. By now he knows that Sally, regardless of her humor and great empathy, is a little (big) drama queen.
"What happened?" Aidan asks, turning to Sally. The vampire and the werewolf actually agreed to go for Sally's problems first, if not obviously less severe. The reason is simple – they want to keep the house intact, and when Sally is furious, they have goo in the sink and the bathtub, lightbulbs popping up like fireworks, or the house moving as though it was in a storm. So they could proudly announce that they could take showers without goo for almost a month now. And Aidan and Josh want it to stay that way.
"I just realized that my ex-best friend is a brutal whore," Sally goes on, deciding to plop down on the sink, looking even younger than she does by nature. The two men frown at her.
"I caught Bridget and Danny making out," she translates.
"... and you watched them," Aidan makes a face. He can't imagine that this was a pleasure for her.
"Is not like I wanted to," Sally argues.
"But you do remember that you can just leave?" the vampire makes a face.
"I tried. I went back to here, but then I couldn't stop thinking about it, and then bang, I was back there," Sally cries out. "The whole time."
"That sucks," Aidan grimaces sympathetically. He knows that she is by no means over Danny, and now to have him hook up with her best friend must be torture.
"I know...," she sighs heavily, but then looks at Josh. "Why's Josh dressed like a douche?"
Josh narrows her eyes at her.
"He's met another werewolf," Aidan explains in his name.
"Aww," Sally sighs happily, but Aidan goes on, "Who's stalking him."
"Eww," Sally makes a face.
"Yeah, right, I'm not going over this," Josh grumbles, taking another swig from the juice. "I'm grabbing a shower, and then I'm off to work."
He gets up from the chair and leaves upstairs.
"You think he's okay?" Sally turns to Aidan. Because even if she rewarded the situation with funny faces, the female ghost can't imagine that a werewolf stalker is anything she wants near her roommate.
"Well, honestly, I was surprised that there weren't any other wolves yet. And before I got to know Josh, he never ran into anyone either as far as he told me. Yet, there must be at least one. After all, one turned him, but... I guess it must be weird to just have a wolf stalking you," Aidan replies.
"Stalking in general is not cool," Sally shakes her head.
"Tells me the girl who stalks her former fiancé, as he makes out with her ex-best friend?" Aidan snorts.
"... what should I do?" Sally sighs.
"... relax, forget about it, find composure, focus on something else," Aidan advises her.
"Not everyone has the 200-something years of experience of self-restraint," Sally rolls her eyes. She honestly wonders how he does that at times. There is so much trouble growing beneath their tiny sprout of normalcy that it seems hard to keep upright at times, but Aidan, to her surprise, is usually never wavered by any of it. Maybe you have to be around for so many years to be that... balanced.
"You still got a lot of time to learn," Aidan snickers, to which she rolls her eyes, "Whatever, Aidan."
The vampire flashes a quick smirk before his eyes drift off to the door again. It really bothers him, the thing with Josh. It never occurred to him before, but it might be dangerous with more werewolves around. Josh hardly regained some of his self-confidence over the past time. And that he had to leave his cage again made him by no means more confident in himself. Even though Josh is improving, so to speak, Aidan still knows that much of Josh's distress stems from his skepticism toward the idea of "normal". Yes, the werewolf plays house, but that is within the spectrum of their home, where he is around people he knows by now and dares to trust. Outside... let's face it, more than anything, he's still socially awkward at best.
Even though the Neighborhood Watch idea proved to be a catastrophe, Aidan had honestly hoped that it would help not only himself, but also Josh. So that he can move out of his shell, get in contact with people again, without awkward. However, it seems to be almost symptomatic for the young werewolf that whenever he faces a problem or discovers a deficiency in himself, he is thrown back ten steps, at least. He doesn't feel comfortable again, he flees to home, and doesn't want to have anything to do with the outside world. So a new werewolf in town to turn the OCD wolf will throw him at least a few steps back to home.
After a while, Josh seemingly took extra-time cleaning, he comes back downstairs.
"Calmed down now?" Aidan asks cautiously, testing the waters. He obviously didn't get a chance to talk to Josh about this yet, so he hopes he gets a chance now, or well...
Aidan doesn't enjoy those kinds of conversation, but he sees their necessity.
"Ask me that again once I bleached my brain clean of that experience, that is if I find a way to actually do that without killing me in the process," Josh shakes his head.
"So it's really that bad to you?" Aidan questions.
"No, I find it great to have a werewolf-stalker. That's just what I always wanted for my life, didn't you know?" Josh snorts.
He actually would have taken the Simpsons theme than this here.
"Just saying,"Aidan shrugs.
"Look, I want to have as little as possible to do with wolves or all that other stuff, if I can help it somehow. And now a werewolf-stalker who might start to stalk me for the other time of the months is about... personal nightmare apocalypse," Josh curses. He wants to protect his little home, this bit of normalcy, but a werewolf-stalker is simply... counterproductive to the whole idea.
"... but maybe he can teach you certain things, to handle the situation better," Aidan brings up, ever so cautiously. He knows that this is a very touchy topic.
"I don't trust werewolves," Josh grumbles. Why would he want to be close to a werewolf?!
"... you are one," Aidan makes a face.
"And you really think I trust myself?" Josh huffs. "I don't. At all."
No, he doesn't trust himself, because the wolf is inherently a part of him, as painful as it is. And that part of him almost ripped his sister to shreds, almost strangled a vandal to death.
How would you trust this beast?
How would you trust yourself if you are that beast?
"Josh...," Aidan sighs.
"I don't want to have to do with this guy, I really don't wanna," Josh shakes his head.
"O-kay," Aidan sighs. "But you could at least think about it."
"Can we just go to work, focus on anything but my creepy stalker?" Josh pleads, now using the puppy look on Aidan. Even though Josh is actually an adult, it's for moments such as these when he really looks like a teenager, a child...
"If that's whatcha want," Aidan shrugs.
A child that always gets his way, at least with Aidan.
"Yes!" Josh exclaims.
"Duly noted. Then let's head out to work. Maybe the bedpans will lighten you up again," Aidan jokes, snaking an arm around him as they head to the door.
Curiously, that usually works as a kind of reassurance.
Gestures are funny things.
After shift, the roommates are walking back home.
"God, I hate this evil witch from 205," Aidan grumbles, stuffing his hands even deeper into his pockets.
"Play nice, they are patients with fears and feelings and...," Josh tells him in a humming voice. Because that is one of the first things you get told when you start in the hospital – patients are just scared and that is why they are bitchy at times. You have to pay attention to their needs and wants. Not that this is actually something new to Josh. He honestly does that by nature, at least that is what he got told by the other nurses shortly after he started as an orderly. He has a way with patients, especially with kids.
Even if it's not med school, Josh starts to find himself liking this job, perhaps even more than that. Even though he still often bumps into things or knocks stuff over, he feels much more confident when in conversation with his patients.
They have fears, just like him.
Well, maybe not just like him, but they also have fears, simply heading down another road. Perhaps that is why he is better around patients than other people, even the staff. He is no person of authority and he doesn't have to be one. He simply helps them. He is a supporter, both for the physical and emotional needs, and if it's only to sit with that old granny who didn't have visitors ever since she came to stay at the hospital to talk to her while she enjoys her tea, making it a private tea party. Josh doesn't even care if that means he is ten minutes behind schedule.
Because those ten minutes, maybe, made that woman's life a little better.
Josh knows how hard it is to find light in a place of darkness – and ever since Aidan made it possible for him to get that job, Josh sees this spirit revived to help others fix their darkness. That is within his powers. Having tea and conversation is easy.
About his own darkness... that stands on a different page, of course.
"That witch sold her heart for someone else's firstborn, trust me," Aidan snorts.
"Aidan...," Josh rolls his eyes, but the vampire doesn't listen, "Hell, you haven't been around her yet! She puts wicked to a whole new level."
"It's this Miss Anderson everyone's talking about, right?" Josh asks curiously. Usually it makes the round quite fast what patients are on the "Least Wanted" list. Just as does anything. Gossip is a curious thing, really, unless you are the object of such. Then you hate it with all your heart.
"Who else?!" Aidan snorts.
"... but what did she do to you? You're normally not that... on edge, coz of a patient?" Josh argues. No, Aidan is really great around patients, after all, he has years of experience – and since it his way of redemption, the vampire is really devoted most of the time.
"I can deal with most of them, but this one is just...," Aidan mutters, but that is when his eyes suddenly turn black and his fangs come out. Aidan makes a creepy face, gesturing wildly and doing a few grunting sounds before instantly snapping back to normal. Josh can't help but laugh at that. It's always nice to see Aidan fussing like this, because normally he is always the composed one, in contrast to Josh, which makes the werewolf feel like a child, very often. Yet, this shows that even 200-something years don't cast a portion of child out of even the toughest cookies, such as is Aidan Waite.
"Maybe she's one of your kind after all?" Josh smirks.
"No, that I would know. Coz then, believe me, I would've staked her already. She is a human witch," Aidan snarls.
"We don't stake patients, Aidan," Josh rolls his eyes playfully.
"If she had been a vampire, sure as hell I would have. She is floundering around my hunting grounds. For us that's enough to stake someone," Aidan argues mockingly.
"... right, and after that we can leave town," Josh sighs. "Sleep in cheap motel rooms that you insisted on we had to escape from... all across the country to end up in... Canada... or so..."
"I think they'd give me a medal for that. There's no one capable of liking her, coz she isn't either," Aidan argues vehemently, but then he bows his head. "But sadly, she's human, so I can't stake her without you blaming me for it."
"And because it's morally wrong?" Josh scaffolds.
"That's not out yet," Aidan huffs.
"Well, think 'bout it. For as long as she's human... she will kick the bucket eventually," Josh argues.
"That's the only thing that makes my day. This might be the one occasion I might actually do her the favor of attending her funeral, just to stomp on her grave one last time," Aidan snorts.
"If you keep it up, she might haunt you, though," Josh warns him.
"Don't say that," Aidan lets out a mocking cry.
"Okay, we won't summon Miss Anderson as Bloody Mary. She will die and won't come back to stalk you as a ghost. I don't think Sally would take that kindly anyways...," Josh shrugs. "But seriously, what does she do to make you lose your cool?"
"Uh, everything. She calls everyone awful names that make no sense, throws things, especially bedpans, full bedpans, she's racist, Republican, and so fundamental that fundamentalists would be scared of her, she has the evil eye, her voice is nerve-wrecking, she screams all day and night if she feels like it, accuses everyone of hurting her or sexually harassing her, as if, I mean... who makes out with a rotten steak from 1930-something?! … and, foremost, she won't stop," Aidan rants. "Ever."
"Just sedate her," Josh shrugs.
"... don't tempt me. I am that close to doing it," Aidan warns him.
"Compel her?" Josh smirks.
"Never. I don't want to have any mental contact with her. Then I would need your bleach method to wipe that outta my brain, no thank you," Aidan shudders.
And after the debacle with Officer Garrity, Aidan is ever so sure that he is not meant to compel anyone of that kind. That was yet another mark on his list of wrongdoings, an incredibly long list, written on with blood.
"What does she call you?" the werewolf wonders.
"New one every day. Today it was... Bloody lanky devil-schmuck. I don't even know what she means with that," Aidan gestures wildly.
"... not very specific, but it's still mean," Josh grimaces.
"How comes you got around her so far?" Aidan narrows his eyes at the other man, to which Josh shrugs, "Even the unlucky get lucky once in a while?"
"Yo, kid!" a voice suddenly rings out of one of the alleys. Josh's eyes widen unnaturally at the sound.
Why did he ever say that out loud again?!
Aidan frowns as suddenly Josh's stalker steps out of the shadows of one of the side alleys.
"It's good to see you," the seasoned werewolf smirks. Josh gapes at him, still trying to formulate a response, or utterance in general. His brain seemingly just shuts down whenever he comes face to face with that man. Or wolf.
However, before Josh can even react, the man's head snaps to Aidan, his eyes narrow slits, "Vampire."
"Aidan Waite, pleasure. I guess you are a werewolf, judging by the reeking smell?" Aidan grins at him cheekily.
"Kid, ya seriously tie with a fang?!" the older werewolf turns to Josh with wide eyes.
"I don't think that this is any of your business," Aidan argues.
"And who made ya his voice?" the werewolf snarls, getting right in Aidan's face.
"Again, that's not your concern," Aidan snaps back, not in the least wavered by the man's intimidation. "And anyways, I don't know how it is with your kind, but we introduce ourselves before we accuse one another."
The vampire smirks at him with narrowed eyes.
"The name's Ray," the seasoned werewolf snorts.
"So, Ray," Aidan says, flashing a fake smirk. "It's none of your business. And I think you should better head your ways again."
"What are you doing here?" Josh asks, finally finding his way back into the conversation.
"Toldcha, was lookin' for ya," the werewolf replies with a grin.
"And I told you that I don't want that," Josh tells him. No, after the man was so kind to enlighten Josh not only about the fact that he sucks as a wolf, but also that he's had an eye on him in a while, the younger werewolf decided to get away as fast as he could... which means he ran away, fast.
Josh hoped that Ray got that message, which he seemingly didn't.
Seriously, world? You spare him Ms. Anderson, but send him Ray instead?
Because Josh would rather have taken up with the patient than this fellow.
"Ya just gotta see the greater good here, kid," Ray argues again, but Josh quickly interrupts him, "Josh, not kid, Josh. I'm an adult, thank you. I have a place of my own and I have a job, oh, I even pay taxes, so let's not call me that, shall we?"
"Not much actin' like an adult if ya let a fang speak for you, or friggin' align with one in the first place," Ray snorts.
"That is really not your concern. What I do with my life is none of your business, Ray. I don't know you," Josh argues sternly. And he can't believe that he is actually having that conversation with his werewolf-stalker, when he just wanted to walk home with his best friend, have something to eat, and then maybe enjoy a beer with Aidan while watching a show with him and Sally. Is that really asked too much?!
Can't he have that bit of normalcy he was able to harbor for himself?
Please?
"But we are one of a kind, kid, Josh. Ya gotta see that," Ray argues vehemently.
"That doesn't mean that you can tell me with whom I befriend or not," Josh shoots back angrily.
"Fangs mean trouble. They hunt us, didntcha know?" Ray tells him.
"And we hunt them. I guess this is just natural give and take," Josh replies sternly. "Again, this is my life, Ray. And I wold politely ask you to leave it at that."
"Being around fangs is dangerous," Ray warns him another time, but Josh's patience is wearing thin, as are his nerves. He can feel the prickles of needles against his skin because he feels more and more nervous. Why won't that guy just let go? Why doesn't he just leave him alone in what is supposed to be his life? Is that really asked too much?!
"Look, I appreciate it that you seemingly want to offer me help, but I'm handling about just fine, so thank you, but no thank you," Josh tells him another time, hoping that it will somehow reach Ray this time – and make him leave, but... no.
Of course not.
"Right, ya are handlin' fine. Kid, ya know a shit 'bout what it means to be a wolf, if ya don't even know with whom you should align and from whom you should keep away. Ya don't even know how to turn properly," Ray argues.
"... Well, I still have a lifetime to figure this out, don't I?" Josh snorts.
"But you could learn it from me. It'd make it easier for ya, trust me," Ray tells him, his eyes now almost pleading.
"Why would I trust you? Up until now you just seem to stalk me, okay?" Josh huffs.
"Hey, ya don't own the woods, do ya? I turned also," Ray replies.
"... doesn't matter. Ray, I don't need your help, okay?" Josh tells him defensively.
"Hey, doesn't have to be right now, but, towards the change, is good to be 'round our kind, really. For wolves it's good to be with'em, makes the transformation easier. Believe me. It's just an offer. Just think 'bout it," Ray argues.
"No, thank you," Josh tells him, narrowing his eyes at the other man. "The only thing I'm going to do is to go home, without you, open a bottle of vodka, empty it, start a new one, empty it, and then hopefully be so much out of it that I don't remember any of this."
"Hey, vodka's fine," Ray jokes, but Josh is having none of it, "Without you. This was no invitation, this was a way to tell you to go away, Ray, so please."
Please, please, just please. Why doesn't he just go away? Why doesn't he listen, for goodness sake!?
"Oh, c'mon," Ray throws up his hands in surrender, but that is when the vampire intercepts, "Okay man, I think Josh's made himself clear. How 'bout you lay off, huh?"
"I'm not talking to you," Ray snarls, seemingly thinking that this threat will somehow work on him, but Aidan is not in the least wavered by that man's presence, so he confidently takes another step towards him, "But I'm talking to you. And now we both want you to leave us the hell alone."
"Just sayin', think 'bout it. Our kind has to stick together," Ray says, turning back to Josh, who is busily rubbing his arms with his palms against the sensation of needles poking into his skin. Aidan just needs one god look at Josh to know that he is close to a mental breakdown, so the vampire intervenes another time, stepping between Josh and Ray, blocking his view.
"But your kind doesn't want to stick with you for now, so you better get going," Aidan smirks viciously. "Bye-bye, Ray."
Ray mutters some more incoherent curses to himself before he begrudgingly makes his way past them and away. Josh releases a breath he must have held in ages, leaning forward, both hands on his knees.
He just feels so weak, so helpless in such situations. He doesn't know what to say to make him take off. No, he needs Aidan to fix it for him... but that's what friends are for, right?
Right?
"... I kinda start to get the idea here," Aidan grimaces as he turns back around to Josh, who just manages a throaty huff, "Oh really?"
"So if you go on how I overreact, I will smack you," Josh grumbles.
"No... it's definitely a situation," Aidan agrees.
"Great," Josh cries out, throwing his hands in the air. "At least I have confirmation now that my life is beyond screwed up! And that my stalker is not one of the friendly type! Let us rejoice!"
"Let's just go home," Aidan sighs.
The only remedy he knows always works with Josh.
Bring him home, to the safe haven – then he is soon good again.
"For once I want to just walk home without weird things happening! Is that really asked too much?!" Josh whines. The vampire pats him on the shoulder lightly to push him forward so that he starts moving, "Just walk on."
Josh mutters incoherent curses to himself as he proceeds. Aidan slings his arm around Josh's shoulder to offer a bit of assurance once again, but that is pretty much a lost cause. Once Josh starts fussing, then he fusses. Together, they make their way back to the house.
"Hey, guys. You're late," Sally greets them.
"We ran into Ray," Aidan tells her simply as he takes off his jacket. Sally frowns, so Josh translates, "My douche-bag werewolf-stalker. Honestly, this is hell!"
"What did he want? Did he try to like... nah, molest you or...?" Sally asks with a disgusted grimace, to which Josh cries out in a high-pitched voice, "What?! Gosh, Sally! No! Oh my God, you didn't just say that, did you?!"
Does he really have "weak loser" written on his forehead or what's the matter?
"Hey, you say you have a stalker, I mean...," Sally replies meekly.
"And you think I let someone molest me?!" Josh curses, his voice incredibly high for a guy.
"Well, if it's a bulky guy, you know... you are kinda frail... in some places...," Sally shrugs innocently.
"Let's not talk about the possibility that Josh might be violated by another werewolf, shall we?" Aidan intervenes. No, that is nothing he wants to picture, and surely nothing Josh wants to have inside his head either.
"I think I'm gonna be sick!" Josh brings out, holding his stomach.
"Please use the restroom, though," Aidan snorts. Though he really hopes that Josh won't get sick. The poor devil has enough trouble.
"God, I can't even believe it! Why can't he just shut the hell up about trying to teach me! As though he was some kinda Obi-Wan-Wolf!" Josh cries out, continuing to nervously rub his arms.
"... and you're against that... because?" Sally frowns, to which Josh almost breaks out, "How would I not be against it?!"
"Well, I was just thinking that maybe he could... teach you... be your... Obi-Wan?" Sally shrugs. Josh blinks at her like a fish out of the water.
"You can't be serious," Josh throws up his hands in the air in exasperation.
"Even if I don't like this guy, she does have a point," Aidan argues, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Not you, too," Josh whines. He hoped that at least Aidan would now finally understand why he doesn't want to have anything to do with this person.
"Josh, look. You have to see that as for werewolves, you are in a very unique and bad situation...," Aidan begins, to which Josh rewards him with the best of bitch-faces.
Being a wolf is by definition a bad situation, thanks for pointing out the obvious, Mr. Waite.
The vampire holds up his hands defensively, "It's not about being a werewolf itself. It's about the fact that your alpha left you behind after he turned you, thus didn't teach you how. But Ray might be a good option to get... the information needed for you to have it... easier."
That is a conversation Aidan knows he has pushed away for a longer time now. Especially after Cara's death, it was a tough struggle to find their way back to normal, but now they have a situation, so Aidan has to be that straight with Josh.
That his alpha left him is something that brings clear disadvantages for Josh. He doesn't know how. Of course he is by no means stupid, but there are just things Josh doesn't know, things even Aidan can't teach him. The vampire only knows the most basic things. He knows that wolves turn on the full moon, he knows what they look like. How you can kill them. That they are strong. How they are brought into this world. But after that... it's getting thin.
Aidan wants to help Josh being human, but for their kind of human, they have to help each other live with their curses, and somehow manage to incorporate them into their daily schedule. Yet, Josh persistently tries to push his curse away, despite Aidan's efforts, really, to make the werewolf's curse normal as well. Josh is Aidan's sober companion, and Aidan tries to pay that back by being his wolf companion, pretty much, but beyond a certain level, the vampire just can't help Josh. Because he doesn't know either what it means to be a wolf.
… Just why does this sound familiar?
"I don't want to have to do with any of this for the other time of the month in which I'm still human-ish. I just wanna get over it for that one night, and then try to be my share of human again," Josh shakes his head.
"... we already talked about it that you have to come to terms with your wolf-hood, Josh. There is no point in denying that this what you are," Aidan argues.
"I don't deny it! The hell, I wish I could, but then full moon comes and I howl to it as my entire body throws itself up in the form of that fuzzy something that mauls deer for a snack. I can't deny that this is what I am and I don't even try to, but I don't want to waste any more time of my life on it than absolutely necessary. One night a month is enough. That is time I never get back, so I want to at least savior the rest of my time," Josh retorts.
"Okay, I see, you are agitated now. But maybe you should, in a calm moment, think about whether it might be good to actually think about the wolf some to gain more control. It doesn't have to be Ray, but maybe some other werwolf," Aidan suggests, holding up his hands. Josh hovers into the kitchen and gets out the bottle of vodka, clutching on to it like a baby holds on to its teddy bear.
"You'll seriously drink all that?" Aidan makes a face.
"Just as much as it takes for me to pass out and forget all this, as I said. I have no shift tomorrow, means I'm good to getting drunk my ass," Josh grumbles.
"Fine, but if you drink so much that you get sick...," Aidan warns him, to which the werewolf only takes a swig, "I won't, thanks, mom."
If everyone is treating him like a child already, then he might just as well give them a reason. The young man makes his way upstairs.
"That was... disturbing," Sally knits her eyebrows once Josh is out of eavesdrop.
"Tell me about it," Aidan snorts.
"You meant what you said, right? With Ray?" Sally asks. Aidan flops down on the couch, "I get it why he doesn't want to, but... it's the wolf's nature to be around a pack, or at least to have an alpha for guidance. It is a very special kind of relationship, much like we have it... but... I've never heard of an alpha turning someone and then neglecting his new son, completely. I mean, of course it can happen that they die or that they go separate ways, but normally the alphas stick around in the initial time. As an alpha, it's just your responsibility, I guess."
"So you think he should go for it?" the ghost tilts her head.
"I say I support him if he does," Aidan replies.
"Good point," Sally agrees. That might be the best of options. They stay neutral, like Switzerland.
"What about you?" Aidan asks softly.
"I don't like to, well, share, Josh with someone," Sally shrugs, pulling on her clothes.
"What?" Aidan makes a face.
"He's like this OCD-stricken, psychotic, adorable werewolf-puppy-brother I never had. Plus, I am like that with friends. I don't wanna share them with anyone. I'm quite possessive," Sally shrugs.
Okay, she knows how it's like to have a brother, but Josh really grew on her over the time they now spent together. At first it was tough, until they talked about it. But since then, their relationship really grew and most of the quirks she found annoying before are now adorable in her eyes.
Those two guys, strangely, gave her existence a purpose again.
And that is enough for her to turn protective of either one.
That's how love works... at times.
"Good to know," Aidan makes a face.
"Well, from the description, this guy doesn't seem to be the FurReal Friends type, but... if it helps Josh, you know... it's okay... he's trying so hard," Sally sighs.
"Yeah, he is," Aidan nods. He still finds it astonishing that Josh manages to pull himself back up, after some moping and crying. At some point the vampire even gets the feeling that Josh is trying harder than him. Maybe because he has so much "awkward" to get out of the way before he can even stand up again, but the werewolf is really giving his best. He buys new decoration, furniture, all those unnecessary things that actually seem to make a difference between a house and a home. At work, Aidan is impressed to the day with just how much passion Josh fulfills his duties, especially when dealing with patients. For someone who is so skeptical of life, Josh manages to spark hope in places without lighter.
Just that he doesn't seem to see it.
"Did you hear from Rebecca yet?" Sally asks suddenly, pulling Aidan out of his musing, forcing him to make a face. That has been an ongoing debate between him and her. Sally thinks he is spending too much time with her. Aidan doesn't think so.
A while back, Rebecca showed up on his doorsteps, seeking his help. At first, Aidan just wanted to close the door right in her face. He really wanted to. Because she killed Cara, played with him – and because she threatened and hurt Josh. the vampire saw the bruises. Aidan doesn't take that kindly, Marcus being a living example. However, she went on to talk about how she is just trying to accustom to this mess of a life, afterlife. That she doesn't know where to turn to come clean – because Bishop obviously won't offer any support in that department. She wants to come clean, and not be a ruthless killer without mercy, she said.
And that is when he... gave in, maybe. However, the way he sees it, he just does what he was supposed to do after all. He killed her, which made it possible for her to be turned.
In that sense, he is her alpha, just not by blood. And an alpha has such responsibilities, no matter what species now.
It's as Rebecca said, if not for him, she wouldn't be in that situation. She would still live her life, be happy, but now she is stuck in his darkness. And that, sadly, makes it his business. If she can quit, he can quit, too, and vice versa, right?
Maybe another sober companion is not that much of a bad idea after all. At least Rebecca is now willing to try.
Aidan has to protect her.
Nevertheless, he is aware that neither Sally nor Josh are pleased with his decision, especially since it requires a lot of Aidan's time... and blood deposits. Sadly, she is now on cold turkey, and that means she mostly tosses things around, if she doesn't throw the blood bags against the walls in her tantrum. However, Aidan is still firm in his devotion to fix things. He wants to fix... everything, as far away as it may seem, but Aidan thinks he can. He is better now, no longer shaky hands. Rebecca is back and he can help to fix her... and with Josh... it might be that Ray is the kind of help that is needed to fix Josh also.
With Sally... Aidan doesn't know how to fix that yet, but he figures that maybe she just needs a bit more time to adjust to her situation. She has to find her peace, and that only works if she learns to let go, even of the love of her life. That just seems to be her curse. However, the other two things – Aidan knows he can do it. He just needs time.
"Just saying," Sally says, holding up her hands defensively.
"Thin ice. There are just things you don't understand yet, or ever," Aidan grits his teeth, trying to contain his anger.
"I understand that she is totally clingy," Sally shrugs. Aidan spends less time at home with each day passing, at least that is her feeling.
"Sally, stop," Aidan warns her.
"You know what this is called? Co-dependency," Sally argues. "And I tell you, it's not healthy."
"You know what this here is called?" Aidan copies her tone, before going on in a low voice. "None of your business, even with one semester of psychology at college."
"You just can't admit the truth," Sally shrugs.
"Ah, but you can?" the vampire snorts.
"Whatever, Aidan," Sally grumbles, well-aware that Aidan hints at her not being past Danny, though he is obviously interested in Bridget now.
"I don't mean to be nasty, but this is between Rebecca and I," Aidan tells her, now in a softer tone.
"As I said, I don't think this does you any good, but fine, if that is what you want, then this is what you want. But don't say I didn't warn you," Sally raises a finger at him.
"Noted," he huffs. As if on cue, his phone beeps.
Really?!
"That's her, isn't it?" Sally grins. Aidan gets up, "I'll be back later. You have an eye on Josh for me?"
"I will break the glass if he drinks too much," Sally shrugs.
"Let's hope he knows his own limits, would be a pity for the booze. Was expensive enough," Aidan grimaces.
"Aye-aye," Sally makes a mock-salute.
With that Aidan heads out, even if he is feeling uneasy about leaving Josh after this kind of revelation, but Rebecca needs him right now, too.
She might need him even more, right?
Rebecca doesn't have anyone except for Aidan. Josh has still Sally to keep him company. So what can happen, right?
Fixing things is really not an easy task.
It's damn hard work.
Because you always have to choose at some point, to fully devote yourself.
Aidan just hopes that the part he now leaves in the dark won't get lost too far while he is gone.
But his heart is with them both.
That should be enough.
… right?