Marcey woke with a start as the smelling salts did their work, making her gag as Ford used them on her friends.
"Wonder if they really taste salty?" Mabel wondered.
"No," Wendy told her, shaking her head. "Remember what we discussed. From now on only eat things that are food. Or, you know, technically edible at least."
"You're no fun," Mabel pouted.
Marcey looked at the two men and the boy, trying to stand but falling to the side since her arms were bound. Her legs were free but they still felt weak so she knew better than to run. "So what are you going to do with us?" she asked as Ford drew a circle on the grass.
"We're throwing you out of those bodies and letting the girls back in," Stan answered for him, standing behind them with his rifle at the ready. "You go back to being you, they go back to being them."
"That's it?" Pamela said in surprise. "No curses or revenge?"
"Trust me, it was tempting," Stan growled. "But we'd have to question you three to find out who you are and we can't exactly threaten you when you're in those bodies and Ma raised us to never hit a woman anyway. No, we'd rather just get the girls back. Not that you don't deserve a good curse or whatever, but Ford said that's a dark path to start on and we ain't the bad guys. So...yeah, you get off scot-free this time."
"But don't try anything like this again," Ford added as he checked the circle. "If we find even a hint of anyone else in town acting unlike themselves-"
"Oh don't worry, we are never coming anywhere near this town again!" Marcey snapped. "It's full of freaks and weirdos!"
"Why did she say that like a threat when it's exactly what we wanted to hear?" Pacifica muttered.
"That's just how entitled people think," Wendy shrugged. "They treat you like crap then expect you to miss them when they leave. Idiots."
"There, done," said Ford, clapping his hands together. "Now you three just step into this circle. Or would you prefer we drag you?" he asked when they only glared at him.
The friends looked at each other and made noises of discontent but awkwardly got to their feet.
"Oh well, it was fun while it lasted," Pamela sighed as the spirits grinned at being so close to having their bodies back.
"Speak for yourself," Whitney grunted. "I've been beaten up, saw a murdered deer and couldn't even try out my new body on any of the honeys in town." She shook her head miserably. "Such a waste."
"That was unfortunate," Pamela agreed. "I do regret that I never got the chance to let my new girls be fondled."
"'Honeys?' 'New girls?'" Dipper repeated blankly as Wendy and Pacifica groaned in frustration and Stan and Ford coughed awkwardly. "What are you-?" then the realisation hit him like a ton of bricks. "Wait a minute!" he yelled, glaring at them. "Are you telling me you wanted to use my friends' bodies to - to satisfy yourselves?" His eyes narrowed. "If I find out you did anything to them I will make you pay!" He promised, giving them the best glare he could muster.
Pamela and Whitney shared a look and burst out laughing.
"Stop laughing!" Dipper snapped as Marcey started to join in at his failure to intimidate them. "I'm serious!"
They laughed even harder as he continued his scowl, Ford looking at the boy with sympathy while Wendy and Pacifica scratched their heads awkwardly at his result even if they appreciated his motive.
"This isn't funny!" Dipper tried to growl, his voice unfortunately cracking at that moment.
"Oh no!" Whitney cried in mock alarm. "The little boy is angry at us!"
"Look at the expression on his face!" Pamela howled. "It's so cute!"
"I'm warning you!" Dipper said, his voice drowned out by their howls as even Stan and Mabel stopped taking his efforts seriously.
"Uh oh!" Mabel laughed, elbowing the other spirits in amusement as Stan's mouth twitched. "He's trying to channel our Mom!"
Dipper continued his scowl as the laughter continued. Then his expression changed and the laughter died as the look on his face suddenly wasn't funny any more.
He reached up and grabbed Whitney's collar, dragging her down until she was only a head higher than him. The other hand shot out and grabbed Pamela by her collar, lifting her to her toes until she was eye-level with Whitney.
"If I find out that you have done anything in my friends' bodies, I will hunt you down," he promised them as a chill seemed to seep into the clearing, giving even the spirits goose bumps. "Then I will make sure that you have more to regret than a wasted youth."
"Uh oh!" Mabel whispered, elbowing the other spirits in alarm as Stan's jaw dropped. "He's trying to channel our Mom!"
"And you!" Dipper snarled as he rounded on Marcey, the woman actually tripping over herself to escape his wrath as Ford and Stan took a step back from the look in his eyes. Dipper grabbed her by the front of the sweater and lifted her to her knees. "If you've done anything in my sister's body then I won't rest until I have made you suffer," he hissed as her mouth went dry. "You can run. You can hide. But that will be the rest of your life." He leaned closer and narrowed his eyes. "Because if you don't, I will find you. And your remains will be the perfect warning to the next fool who tries to harm my family."
"Mom says that!" Mabel whimpered as Ford and Stan shared looks of horror. "He really is her son!"
Then the moment passed, the strength went out of the boy's thin limbs and he let Marcey go, his scowl once again changing to something less than threatening.
But even temporary it had done it's work.
"Get in the circle, ladies!" Marcey ordered them, shakily getting to her feet.
Whitney and Pamela exchanged glances. "Are you alr-"
"Get in the bloody circle!" she shrieked, practically headbutting them towards it.
"What the hell was that?" Wendy asked when she could speak again, staring at Dipper as Ford cleared his throat and started the incantation to remove the women from their bodies.
"I take after Dad, he takes after Mom," Mabel whispered in awe. "I always knew that, I just didn't think he was that much like her!"
"I never knew he had it in him!" Wendy said, shaking her head at the small, skinny teen, barely able to believe what she had just witnessed. "That was so..." She struggled to think of the right word. "So…"
"Hot," breathed Pacifica, her voice husky.
Wendy blinked. "Um, not the word I'd use but...okay?"
They were still staring at the teenage boy with a mixture of emotions when Ford finished the spell and women in the circle collapsed, three white lights shooting out of their bodies, arching high into the sky.
"Was that them?" Pacifica asked, putting the thoughts of a furious Dipper away for later use as the men waited nervously, clearly unable to see the rockets of light flying through the air. "Can we take our bodies back?"
"One way to find out," Mabel said, pinching her nose. "Geronimo!" she cried, cannonballing into her body.
Pacifica looked at Wendy who only shrugged before she did a casual hop into her own body, the blonde rolling her eyes at them before flying into her own.
"Mabel?" Dipper asked tentatively as he saw his sister's eyes flutter open. "Is that you?"
She stared at him, the sun bright in her eyes, the ground hard beneath her and the breeze cool on her skin. "I'll tell you when you're older," she said, the relieved smiles on her families' faces making her feel happier than she had been in weeks.
"I'm back!" Pacifica cried, hugging herself and glad that no one else was wearing her skin. "It's great to be me!"
"Yeah, it's good to feel things again," Wendy agreed, taking Stan's offered hand as a grinning Dipper helped Mabel to her feet and Ford did the same with Pacifica. "Mostly," she added, wincing at the bruises on her face.
"I'm sorry you got hurt," Dipper told her. "I'm sorry it took me so long to realise what was happening," he told them all. "Especially you, Mabel. I should have noticed straight away that-"
"LALALALALALA!" screamed Mabel, putting her hands over her ears and stomping away. "Don't want to hear it! No apologies!"
"But-" Dipper began before Wendy put a finger to his lips.
"Nope," she told him firmly. "No sorries or buts. You did good today. End of."
"Wendy and Mabel are right," Pacifica said. "You stopped them, Dipper. We were literally minutes away from having someone steal our lives from us. But you saw through it all. You saved us from who knows what and even called your uncles to let them know the truth just in case things went wrong. You're the smartest and bravest guy I know." She cleared her throat as her cheeks turned red. "And sweet. I heard what you told them about me. About us. That was pretty cool of you."
"Not as cool as when you when all fury mode on them!" Wendy grinned, slapping him on the back. "One look and those hags were practically knocking their knees together! Dude, seriously, that was awesome!"
"That's one word for it," Stan grunted, remembering when he and his brother had been on the receiving end of a similar look during Hanukkah.
"Yes, you've done well," Ford added, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You realised quickly that she wasn't really your sister, then did the same with your friends and even correctly guessed that there was a transference of souls. Even when you were captured you managed to stall them long enough for Stan and I to get here. I am very proud and very impressed with you. So is Stanley, even if he struggles to admit it."
"Wait, have we talked him out of his unnecessary guilt-trip?" Mabel asked, removing her hands from her ears as Stan gave a grunt. "Okay, great! In that case..."
She rushed up and threw her arms around her brother. "Thank you for saving me," she told him. "Thank you for saving Wendy. Thank you for saving Pacifica. Thank you for giving up that pool job to help me with Mermando. Thank you for rescuing me from the gnomes. Thank you for putting up with me and my dumb crushes all of last summer. Thank you for being my brother." She squeezed him tighter. "I'm sorry for those things she said when she was in my body. She was wrong. You're the best."
"Thanks, Dipper," Pacifica said as Dipper anxiously patted his sister's back. "For helping me with that ghost. You did all that even after everything I'd said about your family. And I'm sorry for those insults. Sorry for everything I said. Sorry for that time I was selfish and let that monster steal your face, Mabel. And thank you both for giving me a second chance. For teaching me that I'm better than I thought I was." She hesitated for a moment before stepping forward and wrapping her arms around the twins.
Stan and Ford rubbed the back of their necks awkwardly as they watched the display of affection. They looked at Wendy who seemed unsure what to do. "Ah, what the hell, count me in too," she said, wrapping her own arms around the twins. "Thanks for giving me the best summer ever," she told them. "For sticking with this delinquent when you can do way better. Thanks for everything."
"I thought you didn't like the mushy stuff?" Mabel asked.
"I don't but I really wanted in on this for some reason," Wendy said with a frown. "Think I'm super emotional now that I've got hormones again."
"I hear that," Pacifica grunted as Mabel made a noise of confirmation.
Dipper said nothing as he stood at the centre of the hug, unsure what to make of it. But he couldn't deny that it was nice to have his sister and friends back and even if he was uncomfortable with Pacifica and Wendy pressed so close to him, at least it was them in their bodies and not someone else. So he didn't complain or resist or even move since a part of him told him that all of them, even Wendy, just needed this right now. And he'd already been too long without them to want to push them away so soon.
"Yes, Dipper was most impressive," Ford droned on proudly, too eager to give an explanation to notice this wasn't the best time. "The hints were quite subtle but that still did not deter him-"
"Stan, do me a solid?" Wendy asked. "Stow your brother somewhere else until we finish up here, huh?"
"You got it," Stan said, taking his twin by the arm and dragging him back to the Shack. "Come on, Poindexter, you can praise the kid later," he sighed. "All those brains and you still haven't figured out when to keep your trap shut for later."
Ford opened his mouth to complain but then saw his protégé surrounded by the women he cared for, trying to show their appreciation for his part in their rescue, despite too-often being blinded by his own failings. And he closed his mouth, realising that nothing he said could really compare to that.
" Ooh , Pacifica!" the brothers heard just as they left the clearing. "You're so squishy !"
"Shut up, Mabel, you're ruining the moment!"
"Here you go Waddles," Mabel said, lowering the plate to the floor. "Eat as much as you want, you deserve it for putting up with that mean old lady!"
Waddles squealed with delight, not just at the sight of the overflowing plate but also at seeing his beloved master return to her normal pleasant and generous self.
Mabel rubbed his head affectionately as she returned to her own food. "Oh!" she said as a memory surfaced. She grabbed her brother by the shoulder and pulled him closer. "Thanks for giving up your day with Wendy to let me keep Waddles," she whispered so that neither Wendy nor Pacifica could hear.
"Stop thanking me, already! Dipper groaned. "And I still had that one day with her and things worked out for us all in the end anyway! I'm too hard on myself sometimes, I get it! Seriously, you can stop thanking me!"
"I'll stop when you stop helping me," Mabel told him. "Which will be, hmm, never?"
Dipper sighed and shook his head but smiled, glad that Mabel seemed to be in a much better mood today than he'd been expecting. Whatever had happened while she was trapped outside her body, it clearly wasn't as bad as he had feared. In fact, she was still cheerful even several hours after getting her body back. She had given a detailed explanation about most of what happened to Ford and Dipper while Stan had quickly driven the Northwest's stolen vehicle to Professor Passuum, releasing and explaining the situation to her before returning the car to the Northwest garage. Wendy had also been quick to phone her family, loudly complaining that they hadn't raised any alarms about her strange behaviour while Pacifica had a more apologetic call to Lazy Susan and explained why she had missed work. Last year they would have been forced to come up with some tall tale to explain their odd behaviours but now the idea of someone stealing bodies was pretty straightforward compared to battling a reality-warping pyramid in a top hat.
After the calls were completed, and making one of his own to Soos and Melody, Ford had used Stan's car to take them to McGucket's home where he could run further tests on them just to make sure that they were no residual effects from their possession or the tranquilisers and question them further about their experience.
Fiddleford Hadron McGucket was pleased that his rifles had worked and was especially pleased to see the younger twins in the flesh again. The inventor had changed a great deal from last year. He stood straighter now, no longer bending his knees or hunching and he wore better clothes, the weathered hat, overalls and foot bandages replaced by a casual clothes and shoes while the long, wild beard was gone with only rough stubble in its place. Surprisingly, some hair had started to return to his bald head, not much and very thin but enough that he could probably make a comb-over if he let it grow long enough. When he had smiled down at them, revealing a set of new teeth as he shifted the glasses on his nose, he had looked decades younger than the last time they had seen him and you could almost believe that he must have found some fantastical way of reversing the aging process. But as his son Tate joined him and led them through his new home (he had renamed it McGucket's Hootenanny Hutt, much to the horror of Preston Northwest) to the laboratory it was obvious that the real reason for his returning health was tied to his mental health, that finally having a good relationship with his son and no longer having to scrounge for food or work had lifted a great burden from his shoulders.
He most of all was more relieved when the tests confirmed that the drugs would have no ill effects apart from some slight dehydration. Which was more than enough of an excuse for him to invite them all for lunch, saying it would finally allow him to use the dining room now that there were finally enough people for the long table, even going so far as to phone Stan and asking him to pick up Soos, Melody and Abuelita on his way and asked his now fully automated kitchen to prepare a large meal for them.
Dipper had loved to watch the machines prepare the food, more efficient than any human team. Mabel had at first complained that the kitchen had refused to add glitter to her meal but a quiet word from Wendy and she had grudgingly admitted that a machine that could cook almost anything was still pretty cool.
While the food was being prepared they had gathered at the dining room table which had also been prepared by some of the many machines McGucket had invented to take care of the Manor. There the girls had gone into even greater detail about their time as spirits, leaving out only the more personal details.
"Fascinating," Ford muttered, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "There are so many exciting questions! What is the nature of ghosts, is it purely random that some people become ghosts or is there one shared trait between them all? Fiddleford and his son have created many devices to remove the ghosts that haunt this manor and they have wondered why so many are drawn here." He turned to his friend and his son. "Perhaps we could research why they become ghosts in the first place. Do you believe you could perhaps invent something that would allow us to communicate with them better?"
"I'm not sure," McGucket said slowly, his brow furrowing in thought. "Sounds trickier than just bustin' 'em. Think it's feasible, Nate?"
"Yep," Tate said with ease, casually flipping through his fishing magazine. "We just got to alter the bandwidth of that busting doohickey so's it'd give out a weaker signal that'll get their attention but not outright destroy them. Then we tinker with the communications thingamajigger, maybe merge it with that scanner whatchamacallit and after we can build something to process any outputs. Then we could talk to them no problem. 'Course it might take a while, especially with those other contraptions we've been working on."
The teen girls all looked at Dipper for translation.
"Don't look at me!" he said, raising his hands. "What these guys talk about is way over my head."
"Okay, you talk to them if you want to," Pacifica said. "If you find out the secret to becoming a ghost just make sure you tell me what it is so I can avoid it. I'd rather not go through all that again. Which brings up the next problem, this sorceress who was hired by the women, how do we know we won't wake up outside our bodies again?"
"I doubt that will happen," Ford told her gently. "Magic usually comes at a cost. Casting a complex spell like that could be draining, and if they mentioned that she's on vacation then she's probably using that to recover. Besides, she'd require more blood and now we know to be alert for any strange behaviour. Well, very strange behaviour. Nonetheless I could find some charms that you could keep in your rooms, protect you from magic. We may have some unicorn hair left over…"
"Let's hope so," Wendy muttered. "I don't want to talk to them again."
"Tell me about it!" Pacifica rolled her eyes. "The whole time we were hiding out at the Shack all they did was complain about everything. I mean, I thought I was bad but at least I didn't demand that someone brush my hair one hundred times a day when the world was ending."
"Well what about other spells?" Dipper asked. "Even if she can't cast those exact spells at us, shouldn't we be concerned about the power she has?"
"I'm afraid there's not much we can do about that for now," Ford sighed. "She was only hear for a few days, none of us know her name, we don't even know the full names of her clients, it's frustrating but from what I've heard it doesn't sound as if she had a good relationship with the women. Hopefully that will mean we've seen the last of her. We could warn the town but it isn't as if we have a picture to show anyone."
"I can help with that!" Mabel declared, taking Dipper's pen and notebook. "I can use my expert artistic skills to sketch her likeness," she explained as she started drawing. "Just like those guys on those cop shows! I mean, this pen is blue and her hair and clothes were black but I think you can use your imagination to get past all that. Here we go, a perfect likeness!" She returned the notebook to Dipper. "Unless there are any details you remember about her that I've forgotten? Like a scar or something?"
Dipper took the notebook and considered it for a moment before showing it to Wendy and Pacifica.
"I don't remember her having a forked tail," Wendy said as Ford pinched the bridge of his nose. "Or horns."
"Is that fire coming out of her mouth?" Pacifica asked, taking the notebook and staring at the picture. "And why is there a cat at her feet? Did she have a cat?"
"I like kitties," Mabel mumbled. "You guys just don't appreciate art."
Wendy and Dipper shared a glance. "I'll check the security cameras at the Shack," he sighed.
"Good idea, I'll pass her picture to some people in town," Ford said. "I'd rather not alarm too many townsfolk, especially if I don't believe she's a real threat. But I'll speak to the mayor and the sheriff's department just to be on the safe side."
There was a beep from one of McGucket's robots and the scientist got to his feet. "Ah, the rest of our guests have arrived!" There was another beep from a different robot. "And just in time! The food's almost ready. Now, if everyone could take their seats, I'll ask my machine to bring them to us. I'd do it myself, but these little contraptions are less likely to get lost."
They sat down at the table and soon food was brought to them by an army of smaller droids, settling the feast down in front them while Mabel hummed 'Be Our Guest' loudly, making the other teens smile. Ford and McGucket didn't smile because, while they enjoyed the tune, they didn't catch the reference. Tate just didn't smile. Eventually the other robot returned and announced the visitor. "Professor Passuum here to see you," it stated as the woman rolled into the room.
"Ah, Professor!" McGucket said loudly, standing up to greet her as Wendy dropped off her chair and rolled under the table, the cloth hiding her from view. "What a surprise! Uh, to what do we owe the pleasure?"
"Hello, Fiddleford," she said, nodding at him as he approached. "And hello Mabel, Pacifica, Dipper and Stanford. Don't worry," she said quickly as the girls opened their mouths. "Stanley explained everything. There's really nothing to forgive but I forgive you. Well, I forgive you two at least," she growled as Dipper heard Wendy wince beneath the table. "But that's actually why I wanted to speak to you, Fiddleford. I know you're quite the wizard with technology and after my little incident this morning I was hoping to discuss some security measures with you. I'm sorry, your robot just let me in but if I'd known you were entertaining-"
"Oh, nonsense!" said Fiddleford, leading her to another set of doors. "But why don't we just speak in the other room for now? That way everyone can enjoy their meal and if you'd like to join us after our talk..."
Wendy quickly peeked out from under the table as she heard their voices fade, getting to her feet and relieved that McGucket's quick thinking had given her the opportunity to escape. She scanned the room for any windows that she could climb through.
"Go through the kitchen," Ford said hurriedly as a robot beeped to signify the arrival of the expected guests. "Just turn right when you get out so there's no chance they'll spot you through the windows. I'll ask the others not to mention you."
"Thanks," Wendy grunted before quickly making her way to the exit. She was almost outside when she heard someone call out to her.
"Here," Dipper gasped, panting at having run to catch up for her and offering a napkin holding some of the food from the table. "I grabbed some of what you like. I know it's not much but it's better than nothing."
"Hey, thanks, dude," Wendy told him appreciatively. "I don't know what that Whitney lady was eating but I've been hungry all day. This'll do me until I get home. I'll see you tomorrow, dude."
"Wendy, wait," Dipper hesitated as she paused at the door. "I just, I just wanted to say that I think it's unfair that you have to do this. Leaving, I mean. It was just a prank, yeah it went way wrong but making you leave every time she enters a building? And then attacking you when Whitney came over to her house? I mean, I know she's helping Mabel but I still think that was a major overreaction, hitting you like that."
"Dipper…"Wendy sighed, thinking back to the attack and the fury in the woman's eyes. "Look, dude, I get where you're coming from. And I appreciate it. But this is just something I've gotta deal with. Actions have consequences. And not just for me. Those stupid pranks I love, sometimes people can actually get hurt from them. I mean, if someone stuck me in a chair for three days I'd never want to see them again either."
"But-"
"It's fine," Wendy told him firmly. "Really. It's better than I deserve. I mean, if Tyler wasn't such good friends with my Dad I might've ended up in jail. And as for overreacting…" Wendy sighed, thinking back on what little she knew about the woman who had come to town, offering to help people finally talk about the things they were too scared to even think about sometimes. "Look, do you know what happened to the Professor during Weirdmageddon?" Dipper shook his head. "Nobody does," she told him. "She's never spoken about it as far as I know. She sees everyone else, Mabel, McGucket, Pacifica, Mayor Tyler, Blubs, Durland and maybe even Mendez. But there's no one for her to talk to. She's gotta keep her distance, keep things professional. And think how tough Weirdmageddon was for us and we had experience with just how freaky things could be. But a stranger just passing through who managed to survive when she couldn't even walk? Man, I don't think I even want to know what she went through."
"Yeah, that - that sounds really awful," Dipper agreed slowly.
"So yeah, taking a few beatings and having to walk out the door earlier is pretty tame in comparison," Wendy said. "It's time I just own up to the bad crap I've done and face the consequences."
"That's pretty cool of you," Dipper said, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Nah, should have done it sooner," Wendy grunted. "And speaking of something I should have done sooner - you remember that night in the convenience store when you did the-"
"Don't say it!" Dipper hissed looking around. "Oh man, don't tell me Pacifica knows? Did the ghosts tell her?"
"Don't know," Wendy frowned. "I think it was mentioned but you'd better check with Mabel. If it was mentioned, text me and we can try to come up with a story, spare you any embarrassment. Anyway, like I was saying. I never told you how cool that was of you. Thanks, dude."
"Nothing cool about doing a stupid dance," Dipper grunted, turning red. "Especially not in that outfit."
"That was the cutest thing I've ever seen," she told him, grinning at his reaction. "But no, I really mean it," she said turning serious. "Doing something like that to save a group of guys you were trying to impress? That took guts. I don't think I could have done that. Especially not after we all made fun of you. Including me. So I'm sorry. We cool?"
"Uh, yeah, of course," Dipper said, scratching his head awkwardly.
"Great," Wendy grinned. "We'll catch up later. But I've really gotta go so you have a good time." She winked at him. "You've earned it, Mister Detective."
Dipper waved as she ran, fast and agile like a jungle cat. "Mister Detective," he muttered under his breath as he made his way back to the dining room. "And I think I've found my next mystery…"
Pacifica brushed at her jacket as she waited for Dipper in the arcade. She pulled out her hand mirror and checked her reflection. Balance was the key. She had to look nice but casual nice, not as if she'd put any effort into it. Unfortunately, that kind of look usually took more effort to get right than anything else. But she thought she'd done pretty well. And there was still an hour to go before they'd agreed to meet. True, maybe an hour was overdoing it but she wanted to make sure she had plenty of time to find that sweet spot for her appearance.
Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard a wolf-whistle.
"Hey, baby, why are you looking over there when you could be looking over here?"
"What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?"
"Do you always look that good or is it just 'cause I'm here?"
Pacifica groaned and turned to see a trio of older boys grinning at her, their leader a tall blond with glasses, wiggling his eyebrows. "Just back off, Gill!" She snapped. "I'm here to relax and have fun! Can't you go bother someone else for a change?"
"What, is it my fault if your beauty distracts me?" Gill grinned as his friends chuckled. "I want to relax and have fun too so why don't we try it together?"
Pacifica rolled her eyes. "I'm not interested! Take a hint!"
"Listen, one date, we'll have some fun," Gill continued, stepping closer as his friends elbowed each other in amusement. "I'll even be the gentleman and pay. I mean, that's pretty fair considering how rich you are-"
"No," Pacifica said again. "Not. Interested. Why is that so hard for you to understand?"
"Well why not?" he demanded. "Am I not good enough for you or something?"
"No, you're not," a familiar voice growled in his ear, sending shivers down his spine.
He spun round and gave a short scream as Wendy Corduroy glared at him, his friends behind her already throwing their arms up in surrender in case she turned on them.
"Hello, Gill," Wendy said, her voice low. "Still an idiot who can't take a hint, I see. I'm actually glad I've found you. Didn't think I'd ever say that but it's true. Because otherwise you might have continued to harass girls and then I wouldn't have been able to tell you to stop. Because you're going to stop," She told him, her eyes narrowing as he whimpered. "Do you know why? Because I don't really like that girl you kept hitting on. And I'm still willing to beat you up again for the way you treated her. Which means that if I even hear a rumour that you've been this way to someone I don't dislike or, even worse, actually like then I will lose my temper." She stepped forward and the boy whimpered again. "And you know what happens when I lose my temper," she whispered. "So apologise to her and then you and your friends stay away for the rest of the week and reflect on how to be better people. Okay?"
Gill nodded desperately, his friends doing the same despite Wendy having her back to them.
"I am so sorry," he gasped, facing Pacifica. "I was wrong, I should have taken no for an answer and - and shouldn't have pushed you and now I need to run because I peed myself a little." He made to leave then turned to Wendy hesitantly. "And I'm really sorry for touching your-"
Wendy shot a hand out and pulled him close. "Run," she hissed as he peed a little more.
"Wow," Pacifica said as the boys scrambled. "I'm - I'm actually impressed. Well done. And thanks. Have you been giving Dipper lessons?"
"Eh, you're welcome," Wendy shrugged. "And no, Dipper should be giving me lessons if anything. But apparently that's something he inherited from his Mom and he can't do it on command. Tried for almost an hour but he just looked constipated. And Mabel said their Mom only does it on special occasions because otherwise it would lose its potency or something."
"Oh." Pacifica considered this. "That makes sense. Kind of. Anyway, what are you doing here? You haven't come to spy on me and Dipper, have you?" she asked, suddenly suspicious.
"Don't flatter yourself," Wendy replied. "No, I just remembered what you said about Gill and then I also remembered he used to like to come here around this time when we were dating. And I didn't want you or Dipper to have to deal with him when you only wanted to enjoy yourselves. Didn't expect you to be here so soon."
"Yeah, well," Pacifica muttered uncomfortably. "You know. Get prepared. Early bird catches the worm. And stuff."
Wendy nodded. ""Okay. Listen, we might not be friends...but that doesn't mean we have to be enemies either. We did pretty well together for those two days as ghosts. There were a few rough spots but we even had some fun on our own. Remember what I said about some people needing someone to act as the glue? Well sometimes people also need someone to be the barrier. That's what I was to Dipper and Robbie. So, maybe Dipper and Mabel could be ours? I mean if the boys can do it, why can't we?"
"I...Okay," Pacifca said slowly. "I'll try to stop being jealous. I mean, crushes are dumb, you can't help who you like. And it's obvious that you're regretting some of the stupid things you've done. I'm trying to be better too. And we do care about the twins. Both of them. We've both been mean and selfish, to them and others. Maybe...maybe we should just accept that instead of judging each other?" She held out her hand. "Truce? For Dipper and Mabel's sake?"
"Truce," Wendy agreed, shaking her hand again, this time without the spit. "For them. Anyway, I better go. No offence but I'm still not ready to spend another hour alone with you yet and I want to keep this thing going for as long as possible."
"None taken," Pacifica said, relieved that she wouldn't be staying. She watched the redhead girl go, thinking about the time she spent with her and their conversation. "Huh, maybe she's not all bad," she said, unaware the Wendy was thinking the same thing.
"Come on, Dipper!" Mabel urged her brother as she kept watch from the doorway of the motel office. "Stan can't keep her distracted forever."
"Alright, just keep an eye open," Dipper said as he scanned the sign in sheet at the desk. "Okay, room four, got it," he said jumping down from the desk and returning to his great-uncle who was unfortunately trying to charm the manager and was only moments away from getting pepper-sprayed before Mabel whispered the room number in his ear and he agreed to rent it for the hour, complaining about the price before his brother reminded him they were on a schedule.
"Man this takes me back," Stan sighed as both sets of twins entered the very standard room. "Some of the worst years of my life I spent living in dumps like this. So how'd you know this is her room?"
"We know she was only here for around two days," Dipper explained as they scanned the room for any clues. "The women mentioned that she was on vacation so we know she couldn't have been here yesterday. I checked who had signed out then and when they had arrived. Only one person fit the bill and this was her room."
"Nice work, Bro," Mabel said proudly. "I knew I kept you around for a reason!"
"Yes, good work," Ford agreed as Dipper smirked. "Unfortunately, I doubt we can glean much from here. It's already been cleaned and I suspect this woman is too clever to leave any traces behind. But it's worth a try at least."
"Just remember that Dipper's got that not-date with Pacifica," Mabel reminded them. "We'll have to leave in thirty minutes to make it on time."
"Not if I'm driving," Stan pointed out. "I can get you there in fifteen minutes. Ten if I really tried."
"Uh, thirty minutes is fine," Dipper said quickly. "I want to actually survive this summer. Anyway, even if we don't find any clues here, at least now we know her name." He took out his phone and looked at the picture he had taken of the sign in form. "It might not be much but it's a start." He read the signature. "Jenna Myles. Something tells me that we've not seen the last of her."
Jenna Myles, sorceress and business woman basked in the sun at the resort, sipping at a cocktail she was too young to drink. Still, the staff weren't paid to ask questions about age, especially when so many of the clients had done so much to try and keep their looks youthful for as long as possible. Even if they did question her she had a perfume that gave her more than a little extra charm with men so as long as she avoided the few female staff she could drink whatever she wanted. And at these prices who were they to complain anyway? But the sun was high, the breeze was cool, the drinks were nice and the food was even better so the cost was well worth it in her opinion. She stretched and yawned, still slightly drained from casting the spells for her clients. She smiled contentedly as she closed her eyes and just enjoyed herself.
She had almost drifted off when she felt a shadow fall over her. "You're in my light," she said. When the shadow didn't move she opened her eyes and glared at the culprits. "Oh God," she groaned, seeing who it was. "What do you three want now?"
"We want our money back!" Marcey said, a tube leading to from her nose to the portable oxygen tank at her feet, Whitney and Pamela nodding beside her. "You gave us faulty bodies and-"
"Sorry, no refunds," Jenna yawned, rolling on her side to turn away from them. "Wait a minute!" she cried suddenly, sitting up to face them and removing her sunglasses to get a better look at them. "You're back in your bodies! How?"
"'Cause of that dumb kid," Whitney rasped, shaking a trembling fist at the teen. "He called that uncle of his and he used magic to get us out!"
"What dumb kid?" Jenna asked. "What uncle?"
"The brother of the girl you gave me!" Marcey snapped. "With the stupid name! He said there are gnomes and goblins and shapeshifters and who knows what else! He figured out we were imposters in two days and then called his uncles and one of them cast a spell to get us out."
"Sounds like a pretty smart kid to me," Jenna muttered, thinking hard. "And gnomes and goblins? I thought they'd all died out. Hmm...Okay, what about this uncle of his?"
"You said was a scientist!" Pamela snapped. "He wasn't a scientist, he was a magician! And there were two of them so your information was wrong about that!"
Jenna stared at her, the only one among the three without any obvious health issues besides old age. "Dear God you are saggy," she breathed. "Seriously, a swimsuit at your age? I think I'd die of embarrassment if I became that droopy. Anyway, my information said that only one Pines brother was still alive. Which brother was it?"
"Don't talk to my friend like that," Marcey growled. "Ever. And I'm assuming it was the other twin. Unless they all looked alike. Now, you are going to give us our money back because those bodies were not to the standard we were expecting. You turned Whitney straight of all things, I had to take some sort of horrid energy drink to stop myself collapsing-"
"I warned you," Jenna shrugged. "Let me guess, no major issues with Pamela's new form? That's because she actually did a bit of research beforehand while you two just wanted to rush in. I sent you emails, saying it was too soon to transfer but you just ignored me. Isn't my fault you didn't listen. So I don't owe you anything. You don't read the fine print then any mishaps are on you. You're a lawyer," she smirked. "You should know that. Now I'm on vacation right now but if you want to try again later, I should be back in the office in two weeks time and we can discuss things further then. But I'm afraid my prices will be a bit steeper because I just don't like you and I know you can afford it. Now if you'll excuse-"
"Do you have any idea what we can do to you?" Marcey growled, the sorceress pausing as she reached for her drink. "I can find something on you. Doesn't matter what, I can find even a little thing and get you thrown away for years. See that drink you're too young for? Bet you've got a fake ID somewhere. Whitney's got the money. Pam's got the pull. We could get you locked up in one of the prisons here. Wonder what this country's jails are like?"
Jenna was silent as she put her sunglasses back on and sipped her drink as the women gave her smug stares. She finished the drink and gave a satisfied belch just to annoy them. "That does sound unpleasant," she agreed. "But the real question is do you know what I can do to you?" she gestured in the air and all three women gasped as they clutched at their chests. "See, what you don't understand is that your time has come and gone," Jenna explained as they fell to their knees. "While you're complaining about how the youth of today is squandering their opportunities, you've ignored the youths like me. I might not have your education but I'm just as smart. Just as dedicated. Just as ruthless." A few of the resort workers and other vacationers saw the elderly women in distress and rushed to help until Jenna waved at them and a puzzled expression crossed their faces and they returned to what they were doing before. "The only difference is that my skills are a bit more specialised," she said, kneeling as the women groaned. "Which means you can't figure out how to stop me. I've literally got power that you can't imagine. But I'm not going to kill you," she sighed, gesturing in the air again as the women felt the pain subside, Marcey desperately pawing at her oxygen tank to help her lungs. "Because it's bad for business. But we're done. I did my part, you didn't listen. So this is all on you as far as I'm concerned." She collected her empty glass and her laptop from under her chair and slipped her sandals back on. "Have a nice life, ladies," she said as she left them struggling to get back to their feet. "Enjoy what's left of it."
She made her way to a different pool and approached the bar, almost collapsing into the stool as she ordered another drink and dabbed at a bloody nose. She groaned in frustration and requested extra ice, putting the cold glass to her head when it came. Thankfully they were old and very frail so the spell hadn't been too difficult. It was easier than it would have been if she'd tried it on a single healthy person but in her already weakened state she should have been more careful. This was why she preferred potions, longer to prepare and usually weaker but at least they didn't hurt her as long as she was careful. She set her laptop on the counter and scrolled through some of the notes she had made earlier. "Stanford Pines," she mumbled as she read. "Stanley Pines. How do you know so much about magic? Why would two brothers pretend to be one? And Dipper Pines…how did you discover them so soon?"
She finished her drink and ordered another, making her way to an empty deckchair. She put such thoughts aside for the moment. She still had two weeks of vacation to enjoy. And after that there were still other clients demanding her attention.
She had always intended to return to that town, to find its magic and see what she could learn. But now she might not have to. Now it sounded as if there was someone who had already done that for her. She smiled as she thought of the young teen boy and a special potion she'd been working on that just might be perfect for this situation. She closed her eyes and smiled as the sun caressed her skin.
Oh yes, life was looking good.
THE END