Breathless

The current held them captive on the bottom of the riverbed. Their bodies tumbling and rolling like discarded rag dolls thrown from a speeding vehicle. It seemed as if the river were a living monster. A demon intent on tearing Jacob away from her. Nessie was slammed into a boulder, knocking the last of her breath out of her lungs in a cloud of bubbles. Her hands, tangled in Jake's hair was the only hold she had on him. Just as she thought her lungs would burst from lack of air, the river released them. Gasping for air, she barely managed to keep Jake's head above water.

The current was still strong, the surface of the river choppy. What's wrong with Jake, why isn't he healing? Nessie tried to get Jake to respond, patting his cheeks, shaking him, begging him, "Jake, open your eyes! Please Jake I need your help, I can't do this on my own! "Nessie rolled onto her back, pulling Jake's head onto her chest, and tried to determine if he were still breathing. It was impossible to tell. His lips were blue, his face pale inspite of his heritage. His body was cold. How was that even possible? Jake was never cold.

Oh no! No! NO! "NO! Don't you dare leave me Jacob Black! Don't you dare! You are mine. Do you hear me? Mine!" He can't die, he just can't! What should I do? It's not possible to do CPR while floating down this damn river! She began to swim for the closest shore with all her strength, towing Jake's inert body. His weight, combined with the current, pulled her under several times. Each time she managed to keep Jake's head above her, refusing to let him go under. Nessie was exhausted from fighting the current and from fighting her panic. Despite her best efforts, they were no closer to the riverbank. If anything it was even further away. How could the current be so strong?

There had been no rapids on the trip up the river, two hours ago. (A lifetime ago?) Even Jake wouldn't have been able to swim upstream in a class five rapid. They must have floated past the exit without noticing. Nessie knew it wasn't unusual for her to miss important landmarks when distracted, but Jake's sense of place was infallible. He must have been distracted as well. How long had they floated quietly immersed in their own thoughts? The only thing they had talked about was God. "How can there not be a God, when every one of my prayers has been answered?" Nessie fought back the urge to sob as she remembered Jake's words. How about you, Nessie? Do you believe in God? Those were the last words he had spoken, only seconds before she bit him. This is all my fault! I am pure evil. Will God even listen to someone like me?

"God, I don't know if you can hear me, but if you can, please save Jacob. Please help me get him to the shore. I'm so tired God. I don't think I can do it by myself." Nessie noticed the trees lining the riverbank were flying by even faster. How fast are we going? How far have we gone? The roar of the river increased in volume, drowning out all other sounds. The smell of the river filled her oxygen starved lungs with the scent of decaying vegetation, rotting fish, mud, mildew, and death. The hateful river filled her senses, washing away all else. The only thing left in all the world was the river, Nessie, and Jacob. Nessie tightened her hold on Jake and whispered in his ear, "I've got you Jake, I won't let you go."

As they rounded a bend, Nessie saw an immense wall of water rushing toward them. She was overcome with despair and grief. Oh no! Not another series of rapids! We'll never make it through another one. The very night she learned of Jacob's love for her was the night they would die. All the promises of forever would end tonight in this hateful river.

If there is a God, maybe he only listens to humans. It was so unfair! She screamed with fury into the night. Her sudden anger gave her just enough strength to hang onto Jake as they were sucked under and rolled along the bottom once again.

This series of rapids ended just as suddenly as it had appeared. As she surfaced, Nessie felt Jake's body jerk away from her. She barely managed to hang onto him. The branches of a half submerged tree near the riverbank had snagged Jake's body, holding him like a jealous lover. At least his head is above water.

The current was pulling at Nessie trying to tear her away from him. She managed to slide around the trunk of the tree, the texture of its rough bark pressing into her thighs. Finally out of the current, Nessie focused all her remaining energy and strength on Jake. Inch by tortuous inch, she managed to drag Jake's body toward the shore. She barely managed to pull his head and chest of out of the river. His hips and legs remained submerged. It was the best she could do. He was just too heavy. There was no way to deny the laws of physics. It was if the river refused to surrender him.

Nessie clung to Jake with every thing she had left. Overcome with exhaustion, she rested her head on his chest. She sobbed with relief as she heard the faint and rapid beating of his heart. Jake coughed once and vomited a stream of water. He's breathing! He's going to live! Nessie froze as she felt Jake's body shift and begin to gradually slip back into the river. This was too much. Why did she have to fight so hard to get him to the riverbank if he was only going to slip away. God! This is not fair! Nessie dug her feet into the soft silt of the river bottom, placed her hands under Jakes arms, locked her elbows and pushed with all her might. She felt her feet sink into the muck past her ankles. It was just below her knees when her feet finally found solid ground, and Jake stopped his progression into the riverl.

"Nessie?" It was barely a breath, no more than a sigh, but she heard him whisper her name. She tried to move closer to his face, but she couldn't move her legs. Her need to comfort Jake was stronger than her need to breathe. The harder she struggled, the tighter the mud clung to her legs.

"I'm here Jake, I'm here. It's going to be okay, you're going to be fine now." Nessie began to hum some wordless lullaby from her earliest memories.

"Nessie? I'm cold." She began to cry, knowing she couldn't help him. When Jake began to shiver, he slid closer to her and closer to the river that was determined to steal him away from her.

Without even thinking about it, Nessie placed her hand on Jake's cheek. She projected images of warmth, love, peace, comfort and acceptance. It was the last gift she could ever give him; the image of Nessie clinging to Jake's limp body as together they slipped beneath the surface one last time.

"Renesmee?" The voice resonating above her was deep, and strong. Nessie thought she was dying or perhaps already dead. Is that you God? She felt strong warm hands slip under her arms and begin to slowly lift her out of mud.

Nessie panicked and began to fight and scream. "No! let me go! I'm not leaving him!" One of the hands released her and grasped Jake wrist. Nessie never let go of Jake as they were both hauled out of the river.

Nessie looked up and recognized an old friend. Nahuel?

"What happened? What is wrong with that man?"

"He's cold." It was all she could manage to say.

Without a word, Nahuel picked Jake up and slung him over his shoulder. He reached out to Nessie and pulled her to her feet. Hand in hand they walked silently into the jungle. Nessie smelled the smoke of a greenwood fire miles before they reached Nahuel's campsite. The fire was more smoke than blaze, but at least it was warm. A simple hammock hung between two trees. A modern high tech backpack was visible inside an old salvation army style tent. Nahuel kicked the pack out his way as he crawled into the tent with Jake on his shoulders. It was a tight fit. Nahuel gently laid Jake on his side and pulled a handwoven blanket out of the pack. He shook it out and let it settle over Jake's trembling body. Nessie watched in silence until Nahuel started to place the pack under Jake's head. She quietly ducked into the tent and moved the pack out of her way as she sat down. Nahuel stared into her eyes with an intensity that confused her as he carefully placed Jake's head on her lap.

Nessie brushed Jake's wet hair off of his face and kissed his brow. Jake still felt unnaturally cold, and he continued to shiver uncontrollably. Jake groaned in pain as his muscles contracted in knots. He began to fight as if he were still under water, throwing the blanket off. "Shush, it's okay, you're safe now, I have you." Nessie soothed as she rocked him gently. She was trying to wrap the blanket around him again when Nahuel grabbed Jake's arm, staring at it with a look of alarm.

"Renesmee, why does this man have a bite on his wrist?"

It all came crashing down on her then. Nessie began to shake uncontrollably. She couldn't speak, she couldn't cry, all she could do was stare at Nahuel and tremble.

Still holding Jake's arm, Nahuel knelt in front of Nessie. "Did you bite him?"

Nessie managed to nod her head slowly.

"Was it your intention to turn him?"

Turn him? What?

"You do not have enough venom to turn him on your own. Would you like me to help?"

"What? What do you mean? I don't have any venom at all." Nessie found her voice in the midst of her confusion. "And he isn't human, he's a shifter."

"Ah, I thought he looked familiar. He is one of the wolves that protected you from the Volturi?"

"Yes, he is my Jacob."

"Your Jacob? So he is your mate?" Nahuel asked, frowning.

"Um, no. Not yet."

"I see. I thought our venom was toxic to the shifters. They can't be turned, only killed."

"Why do you keep saying that? I wasn't trying to turn him! I'm not venomous!"

"Open your mouth, please and lift your tongue." Nessie was too exhausted to argue any more so she did as he asked.

"Yes, I thought so. You are producing a small amount of venom."

Nessie was incredulous. "How is that possible? I used to bite Jake all the time when I was little. It never bothered him then."

"Is this the first time you have bitten him since becoming a woman?"

"What do you mean?" Nessie asked, confused.

"Since you began to bleed."

Nessie finally understood, and was too drained emotionally to care or feel embarrassed. "Yes."

"It was the same with my youngest sister. At the time of our meeting I did not know that my father had created another female child the year prior to your birth. She had no venom until her 7th year. The year of her womanhood." Nahuel's voice was heavy with sadness.

"So I what? Poisoned Jake?" Nessie didn't think she could take one more ounce of added guilt without it crushing her.

"Yes, but I do not think it will be fatal. My sister does not have enough venom to turn a human, so I don't think you have enough to kill a shifter. He needs to be treated, where are the others? Surely the Dr. has medicine?"

Nessie began to shiver again. "I don't know. I don't know how far down the river we've come."

"They will find you soon just by following the river. Our scent will mark the trail and will lead them to my camp."

Nessie moaned and covered her face with her hands. Nahuel, obviously confused by her strong reaction, leaned closer and Nessie instinctively pressed her palm to his cheek. All the events of the evening poured out of her. Sneaking out of the compound, and running for nearly two hours through the jungle... clinging to Jake's back as he swam up the river... the sweetness of their first kiss and Jake's explanation of imprinting... the beauty of the stars... the cry of the jungle cat, and her selfish betrayal of Jake's trust... her desparate attempts to save him... her recognition of Nahuel...

Nahuel gasped in surprise. "Zafrina told me of your talent, but I did not realize it was so powerful." He looked at her with concern. "You love him very much." It wasn't a question.

"Yes."

"If there is no help coming, we must help him using what the jungle provides." As if on cue, Jake began to convulse. Nahuel poured the contents of his canteen into a small aluminum can and hung it over the fire with an old rusted coathanger. "Stay with him." Nahuel commanded as he took off into the jungle. Stay with him? I'll never leave him as long as I live. "I'm here Jake, it's going to okay now." Nessie began to hum again as she rubbed Jake's arms trying to warm him.

It seemed to Nessie that Nahuel was gone for a long time. When he returned, he immediately began to crush the leaves of several different plants between his fingers and drop them into the now boiling water. The resulting aroma was not at all pleasant.

Jake had two more convulsions before the infusion was finally ready. Nessie held Jake's head up, one hand on his forehead, the other under his chin, as Nahuel slowly poured the foul smelling brew down Jake's throat.

It wasn't long before the primative medicine began to work. Jake's body temperature spiked and he soon drenched the blanket with sweat. Nahuel handed Nessie a damp cloth. She hated the smell of the river it had been soaked in, but took it with gratitude and placed it on Jake's brow. "It is better if you bathe his entire body, it will reduce the fever faster. Be careful not to let him get chilled, only expose the part you are bathing. Keep the rest of him covered." Nahuel instructed, then took off toward the river again.

Nessie moved to Jake's side and knelt on the ground beside him. She slowly uncovered one arm and gently wiped it with the damp cloth. Jake sighed as it cooled his fevered skin. When that arm no longer burned with fever, she tucked it back inside the blanket and bathed the other. Nessie and Nahuel spent a sleepless night caring for Jacob. Nessie never left Jake's side, and Nahuel was never still. He was either brewing more medicine or running to the river to soak the cloth in the cool water.

The sun was just beginning to filter through the jungle canopy. Golden light tinged with green, dappled the ground. The fire had burned out during the night; all that remained were the blackened logs now dusted with white ash and glowing with a pale orange light.

Jake and the blanket he was wrapped in had a sour, pungent scent, a mixture of sweat, river, medicine and smoke, but he was sleeping soundly at last. They all smelled of smoke, but that was the only pleasant scent upon them. Nessie's hair was a hopeless mass of tangles and it reeked of the river. "Nahuel, may I borrow your knife?"

He snapped open the leather case attached to his belt, removed the hunting knife, and handed it to her handle first. He frowned as Nessie began to hack and saw at the matted mass of hair on her head.

"Renesmee, may I help you with that? I am afraid you might cut yourself."

Nessie was surprised by his offer, but simply handed the knife back to him. "Yes, please."

Nessie could feel her hair tugging and pulling at her scalp as Nahuel cut the mats out. She didn't mind the pain. It was a strange sensation, her head felt so much lighter. As soon as Nahuel put away the knife, Nessie ran her hand over her head and laughed. It felt good. There were still a few tangles, but she was able to tease them apart with her fingers.

Jake stirred at the sound of Nessie's laughter. She was immediately at his side again, her hand on his forehead checking to see if the fever had returned. He felt warm, but not feverish, just the way he was supposed to feel. Jake opened his eyes and croaked, "Nessie? What happened to your hair?"