A Suitor

Chapter 7

A/N: I know it's been criminally long since I've updated but I got my MA! Woo! And also this chapter is a bit of a filler but I'm hoping to progress everything forward in the next one. Onward!

Sirius woke up feeling very warm. In fact, he felt as though he were cocooned in millions of blankets. He couldn't remember dreaming anything, which he took reprieve in. However, he couldn't remember last night past finding his cigarettes either, which was slightly disconcerting. He cracked open an eye to find himself surrounded by darkness. He tried to move but found himself bound. He began to panic slightly and turned his head to the left. James was snoring softly beside him, gripping him tightly. That explains it, he thought. He was suddenly aware that he wasn't in pain either. He thanked the stars that the bond had altered when a third person entered, making him able to be as apart from Severus as he wanted as long as Remus wasn't too close by. He couldn't imagine what Severus would think of this situation.

He heard the door creak open and the smell of pancakes wafted in with it. A pair of footsteps pattered on the floor. "Should we wake them?" he heard someone whisper.

"Wouldn't it be cruel? They're probably hungover."

"What's life without a little fun?" And then loudly, "OI, LADS! WE'VE FETCHED YOU SOME BREAKFAST!" It was Remus. Severus snickered beside him. Well aren't they thick as thieves?

James moaned loudly and gripped Sirius tighter. "Five more minutes, mum"

"Jamie, you're choking me!" Sirius managed.

James just snuggled closer. "So warm," he yawned. He patted Sirius's hair down. "So soft."

Sirius pushed on James. "Geroff, you tosser!"

Remus and Severus laughed at the scene. "What's so funny, you two?" Sirius grumbled, stretching.

"Oh nothing, darling," Severus replied, sitting on the edge of the four poster with a tray. "Brought you some porridge."

Sirius took it gratefully although he eyed it suspiciously. Severus rolled his eyes. "Thanks," the Black Heir finally murmured when he decided the porridge wasn't poisoned and dug in.

Remus sat next to Sirius as James got up and headed towards the shower, mumbling about 'stupid bonds' and 'ruining my morning snuggle'. "Did you have any dreams last night, Seer?" Remus asked with concern.

Sirius thought for a moment and shrugged. "I can't remember anything honestly. Kind of used to it."

"You really shouldn't have drank so much with a head injury." Remus smoothed out his boyfriend's hair.

Sirius snorted. "It's not like I'm concussed anymore…or like anything worse can happen to me."

"You could lose all your progress," Severus commented.

"What progress?" Sirius snapped. "I haven't remembered anything. Just bits and pieces."

Severus raised his hands in self-defense. "I'm just concerned. Sorry."

"Whatever." Sirius stood, pulling on a pair of sweatpants. "I'm going for a jog." He pecked Remus lightly and immediately recoiled as he felt a zap. "What in the… don't tell me." Sirius growled.

"I think the bond is catching onto the lopsided affection," Severus muttered, wishing he were back in the Slytherin dorms.

Sirius put his head in his hands for a moment but soon realized contemplating what that meant was too much after a night of heavy drinking. He shook the thought from his mind. "I'll deal with this later." He pulled on his trainers and gave a wave. "Ta."

Remus looked at Severus as Sirius hurried out the door. "Well that went splendidly," he sighed. He eyed Severus carefully. "You don't feel any affection towards me, right?"

Severus huffed. "Merlin, no." Remus let out a breath he was holding in. "But this bond to your boyfriend is driving me mad." He plopped down on James's bed next to the werewolf. "I hate Lucius so much."

"Join the club. We're making pins," the Potter in question said, coming back from the bathroom. He grinned at Severus, something the Slytherin has never witnessed before. "Alright, Snape?"

"Just peachy," he sighed.

Meanwhile Sirius was running as fast as he could around the castle. He couldn't believe his luck. Maybe if he kept running he'd break the space time continuum and it would suck him into the void. That would be better than dealing with his newfound affections towards Snape of all people. And now he couldn't kiss his boyfriend? This was going to be the longest courtship ever. Sirius was so distracted by his thoughts that he didn't notice he was about to slam into someone until it was too late. They both fell over with a loud "Oompf!"

"Ugh, sorry… Marls?" Sirius said sitting up.

Marlene laughed as she dusted herself off. "Who else, Seer. Alright?"

"I almost didn't recognize you! You look so different!" he exclaimed.

Marlene raised an eyebrow. "Not much since last year. What's going on with you?"

"Oh you haven't heard? I can't remember the last two and half years of my life. Bit of a laugh, really." But even as Sirius joked, he felt his breath still and mild panic settle in.

"Are you serious? What happened?"

"Volatile fiancé. Now I'm with Severus. Typical pureblood politics." Sirius drew his knees to his chest, no longer wanting to run. Instead, he was trying not to vomit from the culmination of a loud night in and the fact that he couldn't kiss Remus without reciprocating on Severus.

Marlene sat down beside him. "That's rough, Seer," was all she said, and then they were silent. When the malaise was thick enough to cut through with a knife she spoke up. "So Lily and I are going to Hogsmeade this weekend. Are you up for it? We can get matching nose rings."

Sirius grinned. "Sounds great Marls." She patted his back and walked towards the castle. Sirius sighed heavily, not feeling much better despite Marlene's attempt to cheer him up.

Sirius didn't return to Gryffindor Tower until much later in the day, and having skipped lunch, everyone was beginning to get concerned. "Maybe we should start a search party," Peter suggested. "Check his usual brooding haunts when he's frustrated with his family?"

"Or," James said, digging through his bag, "we can take a shortcut." He pulled out what looked like a blank piece of parchment.

"Oh duh. How'd we forget about that one?"

The three boys crowded around the parchment on James's four-poster. Remus tapped the parchment with his wand: "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," he murmured. The parchment sprang to life, ink twisting about the page, forming a perfectly drawn map of Hogwarts. The Marauders immediately began searching for their friend's footprints.

"This is so difficult with so many students walking around on the weekend," Peter sighed as he scanned the page.

"What if he went off the grid? To Hogsmeade or something," James suggested.

Remus frowned. "He doesn't remember the passwords or entrances. We found those last year," he reminded them.

"Oh wait!" Peter exclaimed excitedly. "I see him – he's with Narcissa?" He pointed to the Astronomy Tower and, sure enough, both Sirius and his cousin were listed there.

"I'll get him," James said as Remus stood. "Severus isn't around right now, you can hurt him from being too close." Remus sat back down reluctantly, curing Lucius in the process.

"Make sure he's alright?" Remus asked. James nodded and headed out of the dormitory.

When he reached the Astronomy Tower, James was surprised to hear the sounds of Sirius crying and Narcissa comforting him. He leaned against the alcove trying to make out their conversation.

"It's just so suffocating already. I can't handle this much longer."

"I know, Siri, Bondings are difficult when you're not fond of your future spouse to begin with. Your situation is even more unforgiving considering the botched up ritual."

There was a sniffling noise and then: "I don't want to have feelings for him, or them really. I want to be alone. I feel so crazy all the time, not remembering. I'm so tired." James frowned. This was nothing like the carefree and loving Sirius James had grown up with, despite his formal upbringing. This Sirius was trapped in desolation seemingly beyond repair. Why couldn't Sirius come to them with these concerns?

Making up his mind James decided to make his presence known. "Sirius?" he said, walking into the Tower. Sirius jumped and began to wipe his eyes, turning away from him.

"Jamie," he replied, trying to control his voice. "How'd you know I was up here?"

Knowing Sirius was vulnerable about his memory loss, James chose a half truth. "Had a hunch. Is everything alright? Remus is a bit worried about you."

Sirius snorted. "Everyone is a bit worried about me. Fragile Sirius. I get it – I'm pathetic."

"No, honey, nobody is saying that," Narcissa said, glaring at James. 'Go away,' she mouthed.

James narrowed his eyes. 'Make me,' he mouthed back. He hated the Black family so much sometimes.

"Everyone who knows what happened tiptoes around me. I can't take it anymore. I need to transfer or something."

"Mate," James began.

"I really don't want to hear it," Sirius cut him off, sounding more like Orion than ever. Recognizing that, Sirius blanched and put his head in his hands. "Sorry. I'm out of sorts. I feel crazy."

James wrapped an arm around his best friend. "I know. We had an eventful night. And I know we haven't made much progress dissolving this bond, but we're going to work harder and figure it out I promise. I'm not going to let it fall between the cracks. You will get what you deserve."

Sirius's eyes began to well up again as he leaned into James's embrace. "Thank you," he murmured, unable to say much else. It was going to get better.