Chapter 7
Demeter: SO, YOU EAT ALL THE PIZZA THEN GO BARF IT UP! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, YOU FAT MONKEY!
Poseidon: fat monkey?
Demeter: yes. fat monkey.
!=)
Hermes: *bites lip and looks nervous* uh...lets...go somewhere else! * grabs her wrist and teleports to Calypso's island while the titan is sleeping and brings Artemis far from the cave where she is* no...no, this place is to out in the open. *teleports them to Mt. Kyllene in Arkadia in Greece (The cave he was born in) it's empty* much quieter...
Artemis: and...why did you bring me here?
Hermes: because people cant spy on us here. *grabs her hand while he's talking*
Artemis: and why in Greece instead of some where on Mount Olympus?
Hermes: *not looking up* because. *slips a small but prettyful ring on her finger silently without looking up*
(A/N: *GAG* there is so much stuff wrong with boredum...DARN YOU, BOREDUM! DARN YOU!)
!=)
Travis: *covers the last pink spot*
Nico: now go get me some prime rib. and make sure it's juicy and done medium-well!
!=)
Zim: YOU FOOLISH HUMAN!
Hades: I AM NOT A FAT MONKEY!
Demeter: But you barfed up the pizza!
Hades: ...and?
Demeter: *attacks Hades like a rabid animal*
Hades: OWW! help! Get this wack-o off of me!
!=)
Artemis: *stares at ring* *Is breathless* ...Hermes? W...What is this for?
Hermes: *looks into her eyes* I was just wondering if.. if you might...wanna um...
Artemis: what?
Hermes: ummm...
Artemis: spit it out!
A/N: You take it from here about what he's gonna ask her. I feel like such an Aphrodite worshiper right now...
!=)
Conner: I'M HUNGRY!
Nico: Ans I should care why?
Conner: BECAUSE YOU SHOULD!
Travis: dude, do you feel that?
Conner: What?
Travis: *grins* I feel like our dad is about to do somethin sneaky...
!=)
Gaz: *raises eyebrows* why am I here?
Poseidon: and what's in it for me if i get her off you?
!=)
(A/N: gee, thanks for leaving me to be the Aphrodite worsahiper for the few minutes imma type this!)
Hermes: *mad at himself for being so nervous* URG! WHY cant say it!
Artemis: relax. no one is rushing you.
Hermes: im rushing myself. uh...would you...um...SRCERTLY marry me? *looks at his feet*
Artemis: Um...*smiles and kisses him on the lips* does that answer your question?
Hermes: *blushes* is that a yes?
Artemis: yes.
!=)
Conner: we gotta be sneaky, charlie! SNEAKY!
Travis/Nico: O.o
!=)
Zim: how do you expect me to know?
Hades: *tries to push Demeter off him* I'll...um...PAY FOR YOUR ACORNS!
Everyone in the room except Demeter who is trying to claw his eyes out: 0.o
Poseidon: Acorns?
Hades: I DON'T KNOW! JUST GET THIS...THING OFF OF ME!
Demeter: RAWR!
!=)
A/N: Yep! you're welcome!
Travis: you know, you Charlie the Unicorn worshiper, we should go to see what our father is doing.
Conner: how will we find him?
Travis: follow me. *teleport mysteriously to the cave*
Nico: MY PRIME RIB!
Travis/Conner: *see Artemis and Hermes kissing* UGH EWWW! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?
Hermes/Artemis: *jump apart*
Hermes: Travis! Conner! w-what are you doing here?
Travis: the question is, dad, what are YOU doing here?
Conner: *waggles eyebrows* i think i have an idea...
Travis: EWWW! THANKS FOR THE VISUAL BRO!
!=)
Gaz: i dunno.
Gir: I...Don't..Know...WWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Poseidon: I DONT WANT ACORNS!
!=)
Hermes: first of all, how the HADES did you make it to Greece?
Travis: we mysteriously teleported here.
Hermes: and WHY are you here? *trying to hold back anger*
Conner: Travis said he felt like you were doing something sneaky and we got curious.
Travis: BLAME THE ADHD!
Hermes: as much as i hate doing this... *in one swift movment gets Travis and Conner pinned the wall* dont either of you EVER tell anyone of this.
Travis/Conner: we wont!
Hermes: swear it on the River Styx.
Travis/Conner: WE SWEAR ON TH ERIVER STYX WE WILL NEVER TELL ANYONE OF THIS!
Hermes: good. *releases them and teleports thm back to camp* those two are soem of the biggest trouble makers i've ever made...
Artemis: if we're going to be married, you better not countinously have more kids with mortal women.
Hermes: i wont. and i already have an excuse on why.
Artemis: oh?
Hermes: i'll say after Luke died and all that, that i got tired of watching my childeren all die at such young ages, and dont want to go through losing any of them.
Artemis: beleivable.
Hermes: though i find it unbeleivably amazing that someone like you would like someone like me.
Artemis: what, do you think im too good for you?
Hermes: in your dreams. *kissy kissy!*
!=)
Zim: NO! NO MORE OF THAT, GIR!
Hades: HOW CAN YOU NOT WANT ACORNS? *still trying to push Demeter off* ACORNS ARE YUMMYFULL!
Poseidon: and you know this how?
Athena: he is so stupid.
Demeter: *claws at Hades*
Hades: OW!
!=)
Artemis: My dreams are full of you...
Nico: *from camp Half-blood* MY DREAMS ARE FILLED WITH DEAD PEOPLE!
Artemis: did you hear something?
Hermes: did it sound like a magestic bird? cause that was my heart.
Artemis: 0.o ...what?
Hermes: i don't know...
Artemis: I love it when you don't know stuff!
Hermes: *blushes* it seems to happen a lot.
Conner: you got that right.
Hermes: *jumps* i thought i told you two to leave!
Travis: we did. we left and we came back.
Conner: i love twisting words.
Artemis: the apple didn't fall too far from the tree i guess.
Hermes: don't blame me for their stupidity!
Travi/Conner: HY!
!=)
Gir: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! *giggles* ...Weeeeee...
Ares: THIS IS AWESOME!
!=)
Hermes: okay, now the next time either of you come back, BOTH of you will find yourselves in more trouble then youve ever been in before! you seem to forget that i am an Olympian, and therefore, a god, and i dont like being questioned or disobeyed. now, go back to Camp Half-Blood, AND STAY THERE.
Travis/Conner: *gulp* YES SIR! *disappear*
Hermes: as much as i hate using that to my advantage...
Artemis: we're going to need more then that to get out of this one...*is looking outside the cave*
Hermes: why? *looks at what she's looking at* oh crap.
Apollo, Dionysus, Zeus, and Hestia: *standing outside the cave glaring at them.*
Hermes: i can explain.
Dionysus: thats what they ALL say.
Artemis: i know i just broke my oath...but...but i couldnt help it! it was like someone took over my mind!
Hestia: uh huh.
!=)
Zim: curse you
Demeter: *takes out a loaf of hard bread and starts hitting Hades over the head with it* HOW *hits* COULD *hits* YOU *hits* DO *hits* THAT? *hits*
Hades: I DON'T KNOW! I'M SORRY!
Demeter: *stops hitting Hades* did you just apologize?
Hades: ...yes...
Everyone: *staring at Hades*
Persphone: and I thought his heart was ice...
Hades: can you get off of me now Demeter?
Demeter: ...no. *continues hitting Hades*
!=)
Apollo: *smirks* I always knew you could never keep that oath forever, sis. We men are just so alluring...I mean, lok at me.
Artemis: *stares* and what am I supposed to be looking at?
Dionysus: so, you guys are planning to get married, huh?
Hermes: N-no. Who ever said such a thing?
Zeus: you did.
Hestia: we heard you.
Hermes: YOU HAVE NO PROOF!
Apollo: *holds up tape recorder. Hermes's voice come out of it* im rushing myself. uh...would you...um...SRECERTLY marry me?
Hermes: that doesn't prove anything.
Dionysus: just admit it! We saw you two kissing for crying out loud!
Artemis: How?
Hestia: From Aphrodite's gossip channel.
Artemis: *narrows eyes* I'm going to kill her...
FROM OLYMPUS:
Aphrodite: I LOVE YOU TOO ARTEMIS!
BACK IN CAVE THINGY:
Apollo: yeah, who doesn't love a rule breaker?
!=)
Gaz: You don't have that ability.
Persephone: *laughs at Hades*
!=)
Dionysus: how does that not prove anything? we have a tape recorder, and Poseidon recorded it on TV.
Hermes: you people have much to learn. it is all too simple to take a tape corder and make a fake recording by getting clips of someone saying one word, and making it so it seems as if you heard someone say something they didnt. same with TV.
Apollo: that made no sense...and that still doesnt explain you two kissing!
Hermes: it could've been a trick of the light. maybe the shadows in here made it seem like that, when really she was trying to slap me in the face because i said that im better then she is everything.
Artemis: which you're not.
Hermes: how would you know? you've never done some of the things i have! i dont see any childern of Artemis running around in Camp Half Blood!
Apollo: i can't believe i just heard you say that. dude, that is so messed up!
Hermes: but it's true. *thinks about his and Artemis's daughter*
!=)
Zim: YOU LIE!
Hades: you people are so mean!
!=)
Artemis: I am a VIRGIN goddess you moron! *thinks: one little lie won't hurt..* anyway, Why would I want to have a kid? I mean, the process is so wierd and you get sweaty and sticky and why would I want to do that?
Everyone: TMDFI! (A/N: Too Damn Much F-ing Information)
Artemis: it's true. Why would i want to do that especially with Hermes.
Hermes: HEY!
!=)
Gaz: okay. curse me now.
Zim: CURSE YOU!
Gaz: *loks around* nope, still not cursed.
Demeter: yes, yes i am!
Persephone: HA-HA!
!=)
Hermes: i get THAT sweaty!
everyone: HERMES! SHUT UP!
Hermes: it's true...
Apollo: just admit it. you two love each other and are planning to get secertly married.
Hermes: *sneezes*
Apollo: AH-HA! SO YOU DO ADMIT TI!
Hermes: o.O i sneezed...i didnt admit anything.
Apollo: you didnt? uh...YOU JUST ADMITTED YOU SNEEZED!
Hermes: Artemis, there's something wrong with your brother.
Artemis: are you just now catching on to that?
Hermes: i always knew his head was screwed on a little weird, but now he ust sounds like a moron.
Artemis: he always does.
Hermes: true.
Apollo: NO! IM the god of truth, NOT YOU! ARTEMIS LOVER!
(A/N; YOU'RE ZEUS!)
!=)
Zim: you're not cursed YET.
Hades: *summons skeletons and the dea and they emerge from the ground* get this lady off of me! I command you!
Fisrt skeleton: master, we don't hit girls.
Hades: WHAT? SAYS WHO?
another skelton: we do. it's just wrong to hit a girl.
hades: *keeps trying to push a deranged Demeter off him* so it's okay if i get hit with a week old stale bread thatis as hard as a rock?
First skeleton: *shrugs* yeah. you won't die.
2nd skeleton: and anyway, from the looks of her she would kill us. and we don't feel like dieing again.
Persephone: she's not THAT bad.. *looks at Demeter who has foam coming out of her mouth and has bloodshot eyes* okay...i take that back.
Hades: you're not the one she's hitting!
!=)
Zeus: for the love of corn, just admit it!
Hermes/Artemis: NEVER!
Zeus: so your admitting you're hiding something!
Hermes: no...
Zeus: yes, you are because when i said admit it, you said never which you wouldn't had said if you weren't hiding something. so technically you ARE hiding something because if you weren't then when i had said just admit it, if you didn't have anything to hide then you should have just said that you have nothing to admit. So you just admitted that you are not admitting something that you should admit because e all know you not admtting something that is poorly hidden seeing as we just saw everything even if you don't admit it but you should admit it because it is that truth! ADMIT IT!
Everyone: ..what?
Hermes: I am the master of twisting words and even I did not follow that.
!=)
Gaz: I AM NEVER GOING TO BE CURSED YOU IDIOT!
Zim: yes you are! admit it, human!
Persephone: ...
!=)
Artemis: he's saying we admitted something that we didnt say was wrong or right. so really, we DID just admit it.
Hermes: oh crap.
Artemis: yeah...
Apollo: so you DO like each other!
Hermes/Artemis: *excahnge a nervous glance*
Hermes: *thinking: should i lie and say i was trying to rape her and get myself in trouble so she doesnt get blamed for anything?*
Artemis: *Thinking: maybe if we both admit it, and manage to get some of the others on our side with this, then we'll be able to get out of trouble...*
Hermes: uhhhh...
Artemis: *elbows him* yes, we do like each other-
Apollo: WAIT A MINUTE! Artemis, a few minutes ago you said that when someone makes a baby, they get all 'sweaty and sticky'. how would you know that if you're a virgin goddess?
Artemis: is that any of your business?
Hermes: *blurts out* we had a kid! ooops...uh, i mean uh...
!=)
Gir: WOOOO!
(A/N: god hermes...)
Hades: WOULD ONE OF YOU DO SOMETHING?
random skeleton: *walks forward and points at Hades getting beaten up* *laughs* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Hades: not what i meant. -.-
!=)
Everyone except hermes and Artemis: *are silent*
Apollo: AHA! I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT!
Dionysus: there's a first time for everything, Apollo.
Zeus: *ignors Dionysus* *looks at his daughter* Artemis..is this true?
Artemis: *glares at Hermes* yes, it's true, but i was hoping to tell you in a better way not when my idiot fiance blurted it out because he couldn't handle the pressure!
Hestia: ...Why?
Artemis: I don't know why! it-it just, you know, happened! I didn't mean for it to, i didn't mean to have a child, and most of all i didn't mean to fall in love!
Apollo: 0.0 You love him?
Hermes: can you blame her?
Zeus: *looks sadly at his daughter* i am disappointed in you, Artemis. when i granted your wish to becaome a virgin goddess, i never would have predicted you would do something like this.
Artemis: *lifts her chin defiantly* i am sorry i disappointed you, father, but i am not sorry that i fell in love with hermes and had Amanda. (A/N: it is Amanda isn't it?)
Apollo: I'M AN UNCLE!
Everyone: shut up Apollo!
!=)
Zim: SHUT UP GIR!
Persephone: *joins the skeleton in laughing*
!=)
Hermes: i can take perssure!
Artemis: you just told everyone that we had kid because you couldnt stand the perssure.
Hermes: im nervous and jumpy today, okay?
Aphrodite: *poofs* Awwwwww, he's STILL nervous! how sweet!
Hermes: you scare me...
Hestia: now there are only two virgin goddess, Artemis. because you broke your oath with a theif.
Artemis: it wasnt like i planned that to happen!
Hestia: weather you planned it or not, it's not right! you broke the oath!
Hermes: *defenseive of Artemis* actually, Hestia, that was my fault. if i weren't there, she wouldnt have had any kids...girls can make their own kids without guys. so if you're going to blame someone, then blame me, not her.
Aphrodite: *whispers to the nearest person, which is Zeus* this is so cute! he's defending her!
Hestia: but she could've said no to you, but did she? no, she just went ahead and had a kid-
Hermes: JUST SHUT UP ALREADY! you cant say you haven't ever liked someone, and we all remember that about 500 years ago, you were expecting a kid but had it killed before it born. which is MURDER. so just shut you're mouth and mind your business!
Everyone else: O.O
!=)
Gir: NEVER !
Demeter: *starts laughing like a deranged hyena while hitting Hades*
Hades: -.- *grabs loaf of bread and try's to rip a piece off*
Demeter: *looks shocked* *looks mad* you dare touch the bread? DIE!
!=)
Zeus: *whispers back to Aphrodite* it's disturbing...
Aphrodite: *smacks Zeus on the chest* it's love!
Hestia: *looks confused* i did not do that.
Apollo: wow...girls are messed up in the head.
Dionysus: explains why you're attracted to them.
Apollo: HOW DARE YOU CALL ME STUPID!
Dionysus: i didn't call you stupid, i merely acknowledged the connection.
Apollo: :(
Aphrodite: Apollo you look constipated.
!=)
Dib: why do we just keep saying the same stuff over and over?
Zim: AHHHH! WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?
Dib: see?
Persphone: i have no comment...
!=)
Hermes: *glares at random finches*
Artmis: *looks bored*
!=)
Zim: HUMANS SUCK!
Skeleton: *slides up to her* excuse me, beautiful, but i don't believe had the pleasure of meeting.
Persephone: *gives him her signature 'you ** me off and you die' smile* well, for one thing, you've been dead. For another thing...well there isn't one.
Skeleton: well, how about you and i make up for lost time?
Hades: *sees Skeleton hitting on his wife* HEY! SHE'S MINE! *Pushes Demeter off of him and throws her at the skeleton*
Demeter: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Skeleton: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
Demeter: AAAAHHHHHHHHH!
Skeleton: AAAAHH-
Persephone: would you two just shut up?
!=)
Dionysus: so...
Hermes: soo...
Zeus: sooo...
Hestia: soooo...
Artemis: sooooo...
Aphrodite: * ^-^ * oh. sorry. soooooo...
Apollo: FINCHES!
Hermes: this is awkward...
Artemis: well! now that you all know about Hermes and I, i think you should allow us to prepare our mmarriage.
Aphrodite: yeah, you 2 will be spending a lot of quality time together huh?
Apollo: *grins* i'm sure you both love dark caves, huh?
Artemis: *smacks her brother* *grabs Hermes's hand and poofs away*
!=)
Dib: YOU SUCK!
Zim: NO, YOU EARTHINGS SUCK!
Gaz: ..i'd rather not say anything about sucking...
Persephone: this is fun.
!=)
Hermes: *trips as they appear on some random mountain* *falls on his face*
Artemis: woops.
Hermes: *lifts his head* why did we come here? *waits a second* we didnt get in trouble! *rolls onto his back and put is arms up* FINNALLY!
Artemis: finially what?
Hermes: i finally didnt get in trouble for something i've been wanting to do for years!
Artemis: ?
Hermes: *blushing* i've...uh...sorta liked you for about 400,000 years before i actully managed to tell you...
Artemis: and yet, you still loved mortals?
Hermes: that's a different story. and half the kids in my cabin are NOT mine! okay, well some MIGHT be from Vagas, but most are the others' kids who they havent claimed!
!=)
Dib: -.- you just had to bring that up, didnt you.
Hades: *jumps up* FINALLY! I'M FREE!
Skeleton: *looks at Demeter who is still on top of him* sooo...you single?
Demeter: *glares* do you want to die again?
!=)
Artemis: Well, i sota ..kinda...maybe liked you too...
Hemres: REALLY?
Artemis: yeah.
Hermes: WHOOOOHHHOOOOO!
BACK IN THE CAVE:
Zeus: now what?
Apollo: i'm bored.
Dionysus: *pokes him*
Apollo: *pokes him back*
Aphrodite: you people are so weird.
Hestia: you're related to us.
Aphrodite: i wish i wasn't.
!=)
Gaz: yes. yes i did.
That's the end of chapter 7!