Hey there! *crickets chirp* Well, that's not encouraging.

Sorry for not updating this story for a long while. I had a pretty much large plot bunny. What did I do to get rid of it? Write a completely different story and rethink the plot of this one. It's working little by little. So I made this chapter as filler, if it looks like it.

But I digress, I bring you another chapter. And if you want, you can check out my other story, Temporal Distortion.

Disclaimer: I do not own FF IX, I own the OCs that appear here.

Chapter 7 – No Inspection for Trouble

*-Eliot Fletcher-Chapter Start-*

If I didn't know it, I was being followed by someone.

That was the feeling I carried with me ever since we got in here. It was not normal, but it wasn't weird either. I kept turning around just to see the shadows and the snickers of the nobles directed at me. Not that it bothered me or something. I was used to it after the tenth time since arriving. Vivi and Puck were concerned of my well being, well Vivi was the only one really concerned. Puck only sighed and told me to cut it out. If I wanted to cut it out, I would have already done it minutes ago. Paranoia kept coming back like a horrible rash that didn't want to leave. I was trying to see where this feeling came. But the problem was, I saw nothing, of course.

"Eliot," Vivi called me. "Are you going to be alright?"

I'm fine! There is NOTHING wrong with me! I am sane and feeling as fine as the morning sun. That would be my reply, but I was talking to a kid. And that reply would need some toning down. "I'm alright, no need to worry." I said coolly.

Puck snickered at my words, taking it with a grain of salt. More like a handful of salt if you asked me. "Yeah, right, like that's the truth."

"I am not crazy."

"Sure you are." He said with fake sympathy. Again, if he wasn't a prince, I would have kicked him off the rooftops. But as political issues go, I didn't want to hear 'Off with his head!' or something. I want my head to stay where it was, on my shoulders.

I was about to argue, but the loud firework started onstage, interrupting my argument with Puck. He and Vivi watched the fireworks in awe, I, on the other hand, just watched it bored as hell. I've seen better fireworks at the town's anniversary, and believe me it was better but still duller than this. This would be the time where the elephant woman, Brahne, was dancing around like the display was for her and for her only. What a selfish woman. I sighed to myself when I did think of that. The noble in front of me turned his head and looked at me with a scowl.

"Don't mind me," I told him.

"Would you be quiet, peasant? I'm trying to watch this elegant play." He threw a glare right after his warning words left his large mouth. Oooh, scary. Yeah right.

"Look that hard and you might go blind," I said nonchalantly, flicking the visor of my hat as an insult.

The noble scoffed lightly, but his glare hardened at me. "I doubt that you would have that effect."

"I wouldn't talk about that to me." My lips formed an evil grin. I showed him my hand, in a peace sign and made a motion that melted his glare into a scared look. "Unless you want your eyes to be gouged right out of your eye sockets and tightly wrapped around your neck. Better choose your words wisely."He whimpered and looked straight back onto the stage. The grin turned into an amused smile. Heh, I thought so. Eliot, uno; Nobles, número cero! The look on his face was hella funnier than the look I imagined on Steiner. Priceless! I wished I had a camera so I could remember it everyday.

A small sound came from my side. When I turned, it was Puck who was staring intently at me. "That was cold." Oh, he must have heard. Well, it would be easier if you experience that now rather than some time in your life.

"No, I'd rather do that last one," the prince told me. Dammit, I just couldn't keep my mouth shut.

"That doesn't matter, Puck." With that, I turned my attention to the stage, where Baku, dressed in his King Leo costume, started to approach the center of the stage. He bowed at the audience, and to the watching Elephant lady and birthday princess. Er, I meant Queen Brahne and Princess Garnet by the way.

"Tonight's performance is a story that takes place long, long ago," Baku began his small introduction of the play. "Our heroine, Princess Cornelia, is torn from her lover Marcus. She attempts to flee the castle, only to be captured by her father, King Leo. When our story begins, Marcus, having heard of this, crossed swords with the king.

"And now, Your Royal Majesty, Queen Brahne, Your Highness, Princess Garnet. Noble Ladies and Lords, and our rooftop viewers, Tantalus proudly presents 'I Want to Be Your Canary'!" Baku finished with a bow and the music played, the play now finally beginning.

I looked behind my shoulder, to my sides and everywhere my eyes could see. There was that paranoia feeling again as I felt something watching me. It could be the rooftop people, but they didn't know me and I didn't think they were such a threat. Something else was bothering. Was it the play? It must be. I didn't have this feeling before I came to this place. There must be something that I was not aware of. And I needed to find out to get a little peace for my mind.

I slowly tiptoed myself away from Vivi and Puck. I didn't want them to follow me to where I was going or to worry a certain black mage. I was unsure of what Puck might do, though. So I let them watch the play in peace as I search for this source of my lingering feeling of paranoia. I had made my way back to the upper walls of the castle where the three of us entered and where this all started.

I looked around for clues of being followed into the castle. There was nothing of the slightest trace of someone being here behind us. I remembered that there would be no one that would be able to follow us since there were some boards broken when we had crossed the roof tops. It would either take extremely large guts or just an idiot who had his brain take a vacation to jump to these roofs. I started to lightly tap the visor of my hat, deep in thought.

My tapping stopped a few minutes of thinking. I looked up at the wall. "Hmm, I wonder..."

-*FF-* -*FF*- -*FF*-

The inside of the castle was not what I had expected. To think, I thought that the Alexandrian castle was big in the game; it was actually bigger in the flesh. Well, in the stone, tiles, carpets, curtains, you get my drift.

I wandered about in the castle after my time in the spot of the broken wall I decided to do some exploring inside the castle. Since, if I were to follow the game's events, I would see the inside of this place right after the decimation of a certain tree, spoiler alert people. Not saying which tree will be destroyed because that would be less fun. Figure it out for yourselves. Now getting in was no easy task, but not hard too. It was probably in the middle, the center, neutral, whatever. There was supposedly knights guarding the entrance to the castle, but I found a lack of knights at the entrance so I just walked right in like I owned the place. I was guessing the Knights of Pluto were in charged of that one. Knowing that they are scattered in the castle, it wouldn't be surprising to not see one of them until I get inside. It was kind of sad that I wasn't able to do any "hug the shadows", "knock out the guard and hide the body", or "distract a guard with a coin" tricks. I should have done at least one of those. But alas, none was used.

My exploration brought me in front of a large picture of I think was the elephant lady, the queen of the place. Wow, now I wonder what this guy sees in Brahne. Just a thought about it gave me shivers.

No thinking of disgusting ideas, bad Eliot, bad! Do not make this into an M rated story!

Anyway, after I had calmed myself down, I decided to check out the hallway to the left of the picture. To my not surprise, it was where the dining hall was. I heard the Qus in the kitchen making quite a hassle. Slowly, I approached the opening hallway to the kitchen. I didn't want them to notice while I take some free samples of the fine delicacies they have cooked up for the Princess and for that hippopotamus of a mother.

The table beside the kitchen got my eyes go wide like plates. Speaking of plates, on said table was filled to the edge with food that looked like they were made by the gods, for the gods. Their savoury smell flew right into my nose. I was in awe! These foods were beautifully arranged, making the table look like it was arranged by professional caterers in a multi-million celebrity party for the likes of Donald Trump, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Paris Hilton, and maybe the President of the United States! Okay, I was over thinking the president part but my god, if I would allow it, I'd drool on the floor with no regards to the disgust of anyone who would pass by. Must...take...a bite!

"You there! What do you think you're doing?"

I froze, in the middle of taking a turkey leg from the table.

I heard footsteps followed by clanking noises behind me, slowly approaching me. If he was who I thought it was, I was in a lot of trouble. I didn't want to turn around just in case. No, I wasn't scared. I was just tense from that booming voice that sounded from a megaphone. Any other person would be scared and tense if a voice like that exploded behind you, and I wouldn't blame them if they did.

"Do you not have any manners? Turn around and face me!" the man behind me ordered with authority.

I slowly settled the turkey leg back onto the plate while I was thinking of a probably horrible excuse that this man could accept.

Slowly, I turned to the man. Surprise had sneaked into my features when I saw who the man was. This moment had thrown me out of my excuse thinking time. Before me, or actually standing right in front of me with him glaring at me with his hand on the hilt of his sword, was Steiner, the captain of the Knights of Pluto. I quickly fixed my features just in time to avoid his eyes from studying my face just like what Doctor Lightman does with other people, but I was guessing that this guy didn't know about micro expressions, or if it ever existed.

"Well? Speak!" he boomed, knocking me out of my head and making me stagger back. "Why. Are. You. Here?"

Okay, let's see if this would work. "I apologize that I haven't introduced myself," I bowed elegantly at him. "My name is Sir Williams H. Pierce. Official Health Inspector for her Royal Highness' birthday party." I introduced myself in a strict, heavy English accent. One of my parents always had this friend that was from England, he would talk like this when he was in his business mode with them. I would always copy his accent without any problems. Also the fact that I was also part English helps. So this should be easy.

"Official Health Inspector? I haven't heard of such-"

I waved my hand at him, interrupting him midsentence. "It is my duty to inspect every morsel of these abominations your chefs call food if these were cooked in the slightest germ filled grill."

"Such garbage!" he said. "Alexandria has the finest cooks in the land and they will not even think of harming the Princess. Now leave the castle at once before I throw you out myself!"

I eyed the knight with annoyance. I did have to keep up this snobby health inspector picture up if I wanted him to believe I was the real deal. "What is your name, you ignorant, sad excuse for a knight?"

"I am Captain Adelbert Steiner and I will not have you talk so lowly of the Captain of the knights of Pluto, you fake!"

"Listen here 'Captain Steiner', if that is your real rank and name," I said, using air quotes while saying Rusty's name. "I will tell you this. If you do throw me out of this castle without doing my job of inspecting the food, you would have decided your princess' fate, and anyone who has bitten the smallest bite of this food for that matter. So I would suggest that you let me do my job or do you wish to gamble the Royal Family's fate just to prove that you are right of me being fake?"

I could see his face pale after giving him an ultimatum. Steiner could just leave me alone for me to "inspect" the food. The golden, scrumptious, drool worthy food. Yummy. Or throw me out figuring that I was lying all along. That would be troublesome. I would have to walk through the entrance again if that happened. But if I am right, which at the moment I do not want to be, Steiner was already gathering the other Knights of Pluto. Also I would have to miss the scene where Zidane, Garnet, and Steiner fly above the audience, taking a page out of the circus people.

"Very well," Steiner said, finally relenting. "You can inspect the food. But if you so much do something fishy to the food, you shall be punished!"

"Of course, Sir Steiner. If I do such a crime, you can have my head on a platter." I said, trying to keep myself from laughing. I swear, after saying that gave me the urge to pull out a pair of sunglasses and yelled out a loud, dragged out yeah.

"I must return back to the Queen," Steiner turned around, not before getting in my face for the last time. "I will keep an eye on you." He growled to me before leaving with the sounds of his armor clanking in his every step. So long Rusty. I will see you aboard the Prima Vista later. I returned my full attention to the turkey leg. Now where was I before I was rudely interrupted?

*-FF-* *-Joshua Valenti-* *-FF-*

Baku turned from Marcus and Blank as I entered the room. He was dressed in some sort of formal clothing that would have fit a king. Then I remembered the play. He was going to play King Leo later on. "There ya are, Joshua!" he greeted me. He was a bit surprised when I came. "Where'd ya get that? And the clothes, it looks brand new. What happened?" Baku asked, pointing to my new apparel.

"I did someone a favor," I answered, removing my new cloak. "No big, just get this and bring back. I also did what you said." Nothing special, it was just a little favor. "I had to lay low earlier. About the clothes, I had them fixed up while I was hiding. Sorry if I was too long."

He gave out a big laugh, amazed that a guy like me could have gotten the knights to chase me around Alexandria like a cat and mouse doing its natural thing. He congratulated me and patted me at the back. I winced sharply. That fall I took earlier from being chased by those knights did a number on my back. That was not fun, at all.

"Don't ya worry your little head of it, I don't mind. Ya should get some rest. The play's about to start." He told me. "Now, I have a show to start." Baku turned and exited the room. I took a seat the seat beside the door, glad that Baku wasn't expecting much out of me. He did tell me to only cause trouble for the knights. He told me that those knights were as fast as an old lady in a store. Now I know that kind of description was wrong, ideally and literally. Some of the knights were actually fast. Like those two who actually came close to capturing me. The only reason I wasn't put into a cell with the other criminals was the misunderstanding of that knight. She was not only kind, she was also helpful. She had seen one of my friends in Alexandria.

With hope renewed, I had found him. He was in the castle, about to watch the play that Tantalus was about to perform. I've kept my eye on him since spotting him. But something was bothering him. He kept turning and looking, his eyes kept on wandering around. It earned him some looks from the nobles and the townsfolk on the roof. I couldn't figure out what was bugging him. Perhaps he was thinking of our other friend, Kit, She was still missing and that knight said she didn't spot anyone with the description I gave her. Truly something like that could bother a friend. Thinking about this made me sigh unintentionally.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I looked up and saw Zidane. He wasn't dressed in some outfit like Baku was, he was still wearing his green vest, sleeveless shirt, gloves with large cuffs, those belts along with the knife holders tied on them, pants and boots. Almost nothing changed since we saw each other hours ago.

I shook my head. "Nothing, just thinking."

"Aw, come on, Josh," he started. "I know you're thinking of something. Is it about a girl?"

"A girl? What gave you that idea?"

"You did do the plan, right?" I nodded. "Surely while you were going back, you met one fine lady on the way."

I chuckled. Outrageous, only he would think of something like that. But as much as I wanted to deny the thought, I did meet a girl, just not in an ideal meeting that anyone would think.

Zidane grinned at me. "Ah! So you did meet someone! What's her name?"

"Huh? Oh... I... wasn't able... to ask..." I muttered, blushing in embarrassment. Now that I did think about it, I wasn't able to ask her name. It would happen if she happened to be a knight that could arrest you for a felony, and I was suspicious enough to be accused.

Zidane's grinned grew bigger. "Darn, you're telling the truth. You DID meet someone! I just thought you were just chased by some on Beatrix's knights."

I didn't respond anymore. If I just told him the truth, he might get the wrong idea. And wrong ideas just won't do if you just met the guy earlier.

"Zidane! Where the hell are you?" a yell was heard from outside. It was looking for the blonde thief. "Time to get this canary flying! Places everyone!"

The blonde thief straightened himself. "Well, I guess it's time to get the princess." Zidane said. "Catch you later, after we get the princess."

I nodded, knowing how the plan would work. He left the room leaving me alone to think. I knew that my part in the plan was done. There was nothing for me to do but to sit and wait for the events to unravel. Then again, I was not being observed and Baku didn't say I was not allowed to go. I could take this time to talk to Eliot and ask if he had seen Kit anywhere.

I left the Prima Vista, leaving the rest to Baku and Tantalus to get Garnet. I, on the other hand, was on a different agenda.

*-FF-* *-Eliot Fletcher-* *-FF-*

Ah! That last dish really hit the spot!

"Inspection *hiccup* is done," I said to the chef. "You may feed this to the Princess. Good work."

The Qu who was in charge of the kitchen bowed. "Thank you, Inspector. I am glad that the food was unaffected by this virus you told us. It could have killed the Princess! Thank you for doing your job."

I waved my hand, trying to finish this conversation quickly. "No need. It's my job to-"I held up my hand to my mouth to suppress the belch I was about to make. "...sacrifice my life to check if the food is clean. Good day!"

I left the kitchen and headed to somewhere I could hide for a while. Returning to Vivi and Puck wouldn't be a problem, it was just I was too full to get there unnoticed. The library would be a good place to settle.

With the plan to hide in the library in action, I was about to head down when I heard the loud roar of the crowd outside. The play really was a hit, as Steiner would think. I wonder, were Zidane and Blank already in the castle? That uproar might have been their sword fight. Darn, I wasn't able to see that part. Hah, I'll just settle for the reactions by Vivi and Puck later on.

I was about to exit to the hall when a knight blazed right through me. Surprisingly, he didn't bother to look at me and say that I was suspicious. Instead, he was solely focused on the food that I had inspected earlier.

Slowly, I walked out without bothering the knight with his business with the food. To my annoyance, there was a knight running around the hall, running out of the room across the previous room I had gotten out of, down and up and raced to the room behind me. "Excuse me," he hurriedly said before dashing in. At least he was polite unlike that other one.

Before he would notice me out of the room, I made my way to where I came from. I stopped to a halt and hid behind the wall. As fate would have, two more soldiers came out. The two looked like they were discussing something. One looked thicker, probably because of the armor or he was fat and needed a bigger armor size. His face was unrecognizable from the distance where I was hiding. The helmet covered half of his head, only showing his nose up to the chin. The other was wearing the same armor as the other Knights of Pluto, only the difference with him was no helmet. Just blonde hair and blue eyes from what I could see.

Wait a minute! A thought just struck me in the head. Those two wasn't part of the Knights of Pluto, they were from Tantalus! More importantly, those two were Zidane and Blank in disguises! I guess I was wrong about earlier. Steiner would be collecting the knights now, not earlier. Silly me, I guess the food distracted me.

They stood there, discussing. I couldn't hear them from where I was hiding. Zidane and Blank must be going over their plan to kidnap the Princess, who I knew was getting ready to run away herself. Too bad I couldn't observe that without getting noticed by both parties.

The duo ran up the stairs. Those two will be busy with her. Without distractions, I hastily made my way back to the play. They would be worrying right now, Vivi might be but not Puck. And I wouldn't want to worry the little guy.

As I made my way through the hallway, I felt a pang of paranoia return. Not again...

I stopped walking. This had to stop now. Not that I was scared of this shadow that seemed to follow me everywhere and make its presence known when the hell it wanted. It was getting annoying and frustrating that I know something was following me but it continued to follow me without leaving a trace. I know, that was how stalkers worked if they were trained like a ninja to kill from the shadows with not a hair left behind.

Hmm...ninja...

A dim light bulb just lit itself from inside my head.

"How are you, Joshua?" I asked.

I heard a gasp followed by a yelp and a sound of someone tripping. I turned to see it was him. Joshua was rubbing his dirtied cheek before looking up at me. "You knew I was following me?"

"Let me explain," I started as he got up from the floor. "I had a hunch it was you who was following me. I have been thinking about it since I have arrived here in the castle. It didn't come to me so fast but when it did, well let's just say that there were steps and here is how it went. When I revisited the first place where I had started getting such feeling, I had noticed many things." I raised a finger to start. "On top of the wall where all of the equipment of various uses, I had found this piece of clothing..." I showed him the torn piece I had taken from the place. "Taking a look at it, it was a coat that was torn by the nails from a barrel. Speaking of barrels, there also was something conspicuous by the barrel. A smell, to be precise. By the smell, I could tell it was cologne. Paired by the spit on the ground, I could tell that someone had spent their time up there longer than any worker, sleeping to be precise. Someone was sleeping on the job. But why would a worker of the wall sleep in such a place and wear cologne to such a workplace. Then, exhibit B!" I took out something that surprised him.

"A wristband?" said Joshua in surprise.

I rolled my eyes and nodded. Geez, he didn't need to be so into it. "Yes, and a named wristband. There were the initials JV on the wristband. Now, who would be dumb enough to leave their wristband, who had worn cologne in such a place and wore a coat? From my memory, only two of those things fit someone like a glove. But does this have something to do with the paranoia I was feeling? Yes, this person followed me closely with no suspicion. And combine that to the cologne, the wristband and the initials JV, I pieced it all together and I have solved it. It was you who was following me, Joshua Valenti!"

"Wow," he chuckled. "So that's how you found out?"

I grabbed his arm, pointing to where a wristband should have been, which was missing. I also had him look at the tails of his coat. Some pieces of its cloth were missing, practically torn from it. "It's called detective work, Joshua." I was about to scold him some more for being such a lousy ninja when he had run up to me and hugged me with full force. "I'm so happy that you're alright! Are you hurt? Did I scare you? Why'd you have a fight with a house wife?"

I pried myself out of my friend's grip. "Let go!" I told him, pushing him away from me. He released me from his death grip. I looked at him warily. "What happened to me? Forget that! What happened to you? You're not yourself."

He gave me a confused look at first, but then smiled. "I'm sorry, Eliot. I was just worried. I thought something happened to you."

I straightened myself from the death grip of my friend before speaking to him. "As you can see, I'm alright and my paranoia was reaching its limits because of your ninja-ness."

"Sorry about that," he apologized. "I was following Baku's plan so I couldn't get to you immediately."

Baku's plan? I didn't know Baku had a spot for Joshua.

"He was reluctant at first. But he let me join temporarily."

Something is wrong here. Baku wouldn't just let him join like a snap. Unless there was-

My short thought was rudely interrupted by a hand waving in front of my face. I swatted Joshua's hand away. "You alright? You froze for a moment."

"I'm fine," I told him, annoyed that he had cut off the thought I was about to form.

He crossed his arms at me. "No need to be mad."

"I'm not mad." I said, trying to hide a scowl before he saw it. Unfortunately, he did.

"Yes, you are" he pointed out.

"I'm not childish enough to do this, Joshua. I'm not mad, period!" Like it wasn't obvious enough.

He frowned at me."Sorry for pointing it out then! No need to be like that, you know."

I mentally slapped myself. What the hell?

"Well, if that's all you have to say, I'll head back. Feel free to stalk me and cause me to die of paranoia." I started leaving him.

"No need!" he said but I ignored him. "I'll join you."

"Whatever. Do what you want."

*-FF-* *-Joshua Valenti-* *-FF-*

Eliot looked fine when I saw him, except for his rising tension from the shadowing I did earlier. He was normal, despite being kidnapped and put in a fictional game that he was playing earlier with his friends. No surprised reaction, no angry complaints, nothing! It was like he didn't even care about where he was. He was definitely normal since he detected me following him in secret, one of the perks that he had after we became friends.

But he didn't talk about it. Not one thing about this even that we were in. We were making our way back to the two kids he accompanied on the way to the castle. Vivi and Puck were the names of aforementioned kids, if I remembered the game correctly.

Eliot suddenly stopped. I stopped just in time before I could bump into him. "What's wrong?"

He put his hand on my mouth. "Quiet," he whispered. Eliot removed the hand and motioned to follow him. I nodded. The two of us quietly sneaked to a corner, seeing a few Alexandrian Knights around the corner.

"Let's wait for them to pass," I said.

"No time Joshua, the part where Zidane, Garnet, and Steiner appear onstage will be happening in a few minutes. We don't have time to watch people doing their best to imitate a statue." He was right. At this moment, Zidane and Blank would have the princess by now. There was no time to be idle.

"I have a plan," I told him. He nodded, signalling me to go on. "I'll be bait and I lure them away so you could get back. I'll join you later."

He thought about the plan for a moment before replying. "...Okay, I'll take your word for it," he said. "Hope you make yourself good bait." Eliot walked back and hid himself.

Once he was out of sight, it was my time to move. I turned to the corner, taking in a big breath and yelled. "Hey! You knights over there! I just stole something from the royal chambers! Catch me if you want it back!" Immediately, I ran back where Eliot and I came from. Yells of "Get him!" or "Don't let him escape!" echoed from the hall and several footsteps followed with clanking of equipment. They turned from the corner and saw me. I waved at them and ran. I hope this won't be a repeat.

*-Chapter End-*

There! I finally decided to end this chapter. Eliot's ramble on how he found out it was Joshua was kind of random to me. But I'll let it live here. Tell me what you think in the reviews. It will help me get better and update faster. And your reviews can help with my bunny problem too!

Wyxlan out!