"So I'm singing?"

"Yes."

"In this costume?"

"You are correct."

Naruto is wearing a dress. With fake wings.

Sai is smiling at him.

"Why?"

"Well, you do kind of look like a girl."

"What! I'm a guy!"

"Well, when you shout like that you sound like one. But you're not here to shout. You're here to smile and sing. Now be quiet, it's all starting."

Sai smiles at Naruto and the lights go off, shutting off his braint and almost blinding Naruto. But the crowd starts cheering and he smiles also, following the routine the beetles drilled into his head in a few hours, only distantly wondering how this was even happening.

But the crowd was... cheering?

"Alright toots, now it's time to wing it." Sai warns with a smile.

"What wings!" Naruto panics, and the beetles spin him until his complicated costume unravels and he is left standing there in his bright orange boxer shorts.

Before all the humiliation and shouts of disgust have any affect on him, his only thought is, 'damn it's cold up here.'

"Sorry dickless." Whatever happened to toots? Sai shrugs with his same blankface smile, "I guess you're too ugly for life on the road."

Naruto blinks in shock.

"I'm ugly?"

"Where is help! Where is help!" Konohamaru shouts, running in a beeline for his house.

"Wait up!" Moegi cries, running after her.

"Come on! Naruto needs help!"

One of the Akatsuki appears in front of the bugs, it's glowing red eyes glaring at them.

All three bugs scream.

"Naruto?" The Akatsuki asks, tilting it's head and allowing it's long, black hair to tumble down it's shoulders.

"Uh, yeah. The beetle took her and flew all the way up into that tree." Udon explains before Konohamaru elbows him in the side.

"The beetle? Ugly lookalike, right?"

"Uh, what?"

The Akatsuki leans forward and reveals his pale face.

"Did his face look like mine?"

"Uh, kinda." Moegi blushes, turning away for a few seconds before blinking back at him, "Only without those lines on his eyes."

"I don't think he had eyes." Udon shares, "They were closed the whole time."

"Nah, nah, you guys got it all wrong." Konohamaru argues, "His eyes were gray! He opened them when he was flying all the way up!"

The red-eyed Akatsuki was already gone.

Naruto is stranded on a treebranch, wallowing in his misery.

"Naruto!" A familiar voice cries, making a pin dive and crashing into the branch Naruto was laying on. Luckily, Naruto was able to move a few inches back so that he didn't die from bird attack. "What ages your youth in such a way?"

"What? How did you find me!"

"I smelled the burning flame of your youth!"

Naruto casts a discreet glance towards his butt and frowns at it.

"What ails you!"

"Uh, I just got dumped, I think." Naruto thinks back to the trashy novels Iruka liked to pretend he didn't own. "Because the beetle says I'm ugly."

"The beetle!" Lee laughs at a slightly obnoxious volume, "Do you love the beetle now?"

"Now? What? No! Never!"

"Then pftooey on the beetle! Does the prince think you're ugly?"

"Uhh..." Naruto was lost for thoughts, "No?"

"Then the prince is all who should matter to you." Lee says sagely.

"Um, okay. Can I go home now?"

"Hm?" Lee asks, looking at Naruto with his white eyes. It was a little creepy.

"Did you find the veil of the fairies yet?"

"Not yet, not yet. But now, we must sleep."

At the word sleep, Naruto found himself yawning and curling up in Lee's big, green wing.
"Alright then."

"Tomorrow is a new day. And I will go into the forest and see if I cannot find your Prince Gaara."

"Mm..." Naruto mutters, and the two fall asleep.

It is morning now, and Lee's nose is on a mission.

The two parted ways once they woke, Lee attempting to find the fairy prince and Naruto attempting to find his home.

He smells a rabbit moving quickly, and does a graceful dive onto it's back, quickly holding on for all he's worth.

"Hello dear rabbit friend! How is this fine day for you?"

"It's day, but it's more shitty than fine!" The white rabbit said, running as fast as it could from the fox chasing it. It shouldn't have called it fat. Well, he would have anyway, because the fox was a crazy bitch, but... well...

"I am seeking the Vale of the Fairies!" Lee cries, his cry a little jostled from the running.

"Fairies, huh? Beats the heck outta me. Ask a fairy!"

"You know one?"

"No, but the redheaded bitch chasing me might." The rabbit shakes off the bird, who goes flying straight into the 'redheaded bitch', landing on her nose.

"Hello kind creature!" He sniffs, "A fox! Excuse me, but I am looking for the vale of the-"

"Get the hell offa me!" The redhead cries, glaring daggers by crossing her eyes.

"I can see that you are busy at this moment, so I shall be as brief as-"

"Get. Offa. Me!"

The redhead quickly shakes the bird off, and Lee goes flying into a thornbush.

"Oh." Lee blinks his blank eyes and stares at where his wing would be if I could see it. "A thorn in my wing. No matter! I will fly twice as fast!"

Lee leaps into the air and flies, wobbling slightly, before sniffing, "I smell autumn! I will find the fairy prince before winter is upon us!"

author's note: so I am really horrible when i am provoked, but someone left an anonymous review on this story that kind of irked me a bit. Feel free to just ignore the rest.

To the anonymous reviewer,

First of all, thank you for being anonymous so I had no other way to respond to you. I am now an asshole. And thank you for making it impossible to stalk your profile and see if you're some literary genius that can afford to insult my unworthy writing.

Second, did you review just from reading the summary? your only complaints are that it is gay and has thumbelina. so you are homophobic or hate fairytales. or both. and then needed to tell me about it.

And what is Punic? a "lameass Punic fic"? Is my writing similar to the Punic wars? Am I lesser known history? I do not understand.

And don't swear so much in the beginning and then end it with a "friggin' idiot". If anything, you should work your way up to the heavy swearing. It sounds a little weak the other way around.

Sorry for taking up so much space. This is actually the condensed version.

On a lighter note, I found the script of the Thumbelina movie online, so remembering the plot is no problem anymore.