Disclaimer; I own nothing but the OCs and the plot, thanks.

A/N: I think this is the longest chapter so far, so please do leave a review and tell me what you think about it. If you haven't left a comment yet, leave me a few words! You guys rock!

Take care & enjoy :)

-xo

xoxo

7. He's Ready, So Ready

Sirius cleaned every trace of the spilt blood from his large flat. Then he thoroughly washed the mug Peter had been drinking from. He tried to stop thinking of the smaller man and instead his thoughts fluttered over to Regulus.

His thoughts had been doing that a lot lately, fluttering to his baby brother. The year he had died Sirius stubbornly refused to think of him. It hurt after all, to think of someone so dear and yet so alien to him. He could remember times when his brother use to look up to him like a role model.

Sirius would show off and then his brother would get upset at not being able to do some of the things he could do. But there was one talent Regulus could shine in and that was flying. He had never seen someone so good; Regulus and James both use to compete for the position of best flier in Hogwarts. Well James had won now; one of the competitors was dead. But it had been nice to know his brother was so good.

Regulus had also gotten incredible OWLs, just as good as Sirius's. And in many ways he was just as smart and fun. But when they had been together in the most recent years it didn't feel right. It felt like they were away from their families and with a stranger. Sirius knew that it was his fault. His family shunned him and in turn he shunned Regulus.

Perhaps this was another way of redemption? He had been trying to redeem himself a lot the past few days. Was it because he knew his life was coming to an end? Sirius had always said when he died he would want to be the first one out of the Marauders, so that they would all know. But he was going to stay optimistic and cheerful otherwise James would never let him do it.

Making a cup of tea, and then cuddling up on the sofa before the roaring fire whilst listening to Bodewell and his half-arsed speeches on the Wireless, Sirius fell asleep. His dreams were plagued with the images of Peter on the run, much like he was sure his brother had been. But then again he didn't know how Regulus had died, or where he was even now. His dream drifted to a horrible scene, where he was sitting on a roof with all the Death Eaters firing curses at him and Voldemort crying for him to come down.

The dreams were painful and they seemed to go on forever, each conjuring up a painful experience for Sirius. He could almost feel the Cruciatus Curse, and smell the fear his body was radiating, that bone shaking fear, and taste the crimson blood pooling down his face.

Then there was a hand on his shoulder and he yelped, falling off the sofa, kicking and breaking the mug that he had set on the floor during his sleepy stupor and landing on his back.

Looking down at him with a laugh on his face was his best friend—

'James!' cried Sirius angrily, taking the hand extended and lifting himself from the wooden floor. His friend was still laughing and Sirius shoved him, storming off to the bathroom to freshen up. He looked in the mirror and winced at how horrible he looked. James came into the bathroom, holding the newly repaired mug and grinned at his friend.

'Hey Pads,' he said, leaning casually against the doorway. Then his friend feigned a wince. 'Ooh Paddy, you don't look so good, what happened?'

Sirius glared at him through the mirror, touching the enormous black bags under his eyes. He washed his face and then brushed his teeth, ignoring James stubbornly. Though secretly, he was ever so grateful that he'd been plucked from the nightmare that had felt almost real. Sirius squeezed more toothpaste on his toothbrush and sent James another glare through the mirror, brushing his teeth once more. He had to get that taste of blood out of his mouth; it had tasted so real.

'Shall I make breakfast then?' asked James, and then without warning he bound off to the kitchen, more probably. James never made breakfast for anyone and that made Sirius feel a little special. He ran a hand over his chin and felt that it was rather smooth, and the little stubble there was made him look sexier. With nothing more to do he had a quick shower before changing into a blue jumper and some black trousers. He threw a robe over the top of it. When he exited his bedroom he could smell sausages sizzling and eggs frying and his stomach growled.

'Thank honey, I'm starving,' Sirius joked, sitting down at the table. His bespectacled friend waved the spatula around and pointed it at his face.

'No telling anyone about this, especially Lily and Moony.'

Sirius grinned, moving back as the plate filled with food was set in front of him. He immediately dug in and groaned out loud. 'James this is incredible, it's always incredible.'

His friend gave a cocky smile, tucking in to his own meal. 'See, I'm not as useless as Lily says I am. I take care of Harry, I play with him, I put the toilet seat down and I can make breakfast. Though I've never actually made breakfast for Lily before come to think of it. I make a meal a year, quite literally.'

'Well I'm honoured James, that I'm the first person you've made it for. It tastes just like Aunt Dory's.' And he felt like he was a little kid again. When he use to stay at their house and she'd make English breakfasts for him and the other Marauders.

James smiled. 'Before Hogwarts I use to cook with her a lot, and then I got lazy. Don't tell Lily though! She'll abuse my gift,'

'Have I told anyone of your gift before?'

James shrugged. 'You're untrustworthy when it comes down to shit like that...'

Sirius barked a laugh and they finished their breakfast with cheery banter. Their Order meeting was at noon and it was two hours till, so they lounged around in the living room listening to the Wireless and talking about nothing.

Sirius had never felt so relaxed, considering what was going to happen that same night. Soon though James drifted to the topic of the Fidelius Charm. Sirius bit his lip and looked down at James's feet resting in his lap.

'What?' he asked quietly, cautiously. An image of Peter flickered through his mind.

'I don't want you to do it Paddy,' James pleaded, putting his feet on the ground and shuffling closer to his friend. 'Please don't do it, we'll get Dumbledore to do it, there's still time.'

'No.' Sirius hissed. 'No, I won't trust anyone to do this. You haven't seen what could happen if we trusted someone else. I want to do this, I need to do this. I don't want to lose you—'

James put a hand on his arm and their eyes met. 'You'll get yourself killed, and then I'll get myself killed trying to kill those that killed you! It doesn't make sense at all!'

If it was a different conversation Sirius would have laughed, and he couldn't help the ghost of a smile flicker on his face. 'Trust me.'

'I do.'

'No you don't James, trust that I'll keep you safe. Trust that I don't want anything to happen to you. Trust that I won't die, that I promise not to die.' Gently he pulled up James's sleeve where there was a tattoo that stood out against his pale skin; saying 'the Marauders' in magnificent writing.

'We're the Marauders. And maybe to McGonagall it's childish and silly but to me you and Remus mean everything to me.'

'And Peter,' added James. He dropped his head in grief, on his arm. 'If anything happens to you I could never forgive myself...' He made a noise of disgust in the back of his throat. Then James quickly looked up. 'Promise me? Promise me you'll hide too, and you won't go looking for trouble.'

Sirius rolled his eyes.

'On the Marauders Oath, I promise James. I'll hide, I'll run if it comes to running. But with your life on the line, with Lily's and my little godson's, I would never risk your lives and do something foolish.'

James watched him with a calculating gaze for a long moment before he found what he wanted and smiled contently. James fell back on the sofa, lifting his feet onto his friend's lap and smirking when they were pushed off. He didn't mind though. If he couldn't save his friend, he could at least make sure Sirius tried to save himself.

They were meeting at Kingsley's place, because it was rather large and no wizards lived in near proximity which meant Voldemort wouldn't be able to catch wind of what they were doing or discussing. After all, the spy had gone. Peter had gone.

He didn't know how he could get himself out of this mess. What if Dumbledore knew it was him who had warned Peter. He couldn't just let a decade of glorious friendship go down the toilet after one enormously enormous bad move. Just like he had flushed his relationship with his brother down the fucking loo.

When they tidied up (threw the dishes into the sink) they left the flat, putting up a great deal more safety spells than necessary, especially Dark-Repelling Charms. Out at the back was Sirius's shimmering black bike, her glossy exterior shining in the dim sunlight. They both headed to the bike—

'Can I ride it today?'

'It's your fault for selling yours a few weeks ago, arsehole!'

James frowned and gave his best puppy dog eyes; though unfortunately he had nothing on Sirius and Remus. Nonetheless it sort of worked.

'I needed money, my inheritance is running out real quick because I don't have a job and when Dumbledore said I needed to buy a new house, well where could I get some extra money from?'

'You should have become an Auror like me,' Sirius said as he got on behind James. The bike was really quite big, and though he didn't know where to put his hands he settled to resting them on his dear friend's shoulders, like the other Marauders always did when they rode with him.

James was a bit rusty in driving a motorbike, because even though he'd only sold it a few weeks ago, he hadn't ridden it in almost six months – and riding a motorbike was something you needed to constantly practise.

But after a few unsuccessful attempts they were in the air and soaring through the chilly skies. James was a smooth flier naturally, because he was so adapt at flying on a broom. And it was almost calming to have someone else drive whilst Sirius sat doing nothing, relaxing and feeling the wind in his hair. It was stressful riding a bike and more than once he'd crashed with one of the Marauders riding with him, or Rose Taten.

He let his thoughts trail off to Rose. He hadn't seen her in months, and he missed her terribly. Though sleeping with different girls most days of the week did help. He liked sleeping with the blonde ones, they reminded him of Rose. Or ones with really long hair. Or pale green eyes. James said it was sick, and Sirius agreed.

He wished he could write her a letter, and he promised himself he would. He hadn't spoken to her in months, and was there a better time than now? He'd ask how everything was faring in Australia. If she'd done any paintings, and perhaps if she could send him one. If she had a job, if her Mother was okay, if she'd met anyone...

All these questions raced through his mind and he realised with a quiet gasp just how important she was. How he would die loving no one but her. But then he grimaced. It was all her fault; she was such a bitch sometimes. She was rude and proud and wild and fun and all those other adjectives that described the counterpart to Sirius.

Would he get to see her one more time? He doubted it. If he ever got out of this alive though, he would go and see her and tell her he loved her and wanted her back.

Because of the lack of sleep he had experienced thanks to Peter, Sirius could feel his eyes closing gently and his head slump.

James looked over and smiled softly. He'd let his friend sleep, as dangerous as it was to fall asleep whilst racing through the skies at a hundred and fifty miles an hour. He made sure Sirius's arms were tight around his shoulders, slowed down a little as the bike continued to their destination.

xo

Sirius and James knocked on the door, laughing hard.

The bike was a few metres to their left. The house was very large and grey. The grounds around it were over three or four acres. A few miles or so down were a few other Muggle cottages and a pub, which Sirius promised himself he'd visit after the meeting.

Sirius put on a poker face and grinned when it was Professor McGonagall who opened it. She frowned at the cigarettes perched in James and Sirius's mouths and signalled for them to put it out.

Sirius rolled his eyes, took one last deep drag and threw it on the ground before turning away from her and exhaling, licking his lips. His friend however started sucking in the smoke quickly to get McGonagall annoyed which he succeeded in doing. McGonagall bared her teeth furiously waved her wand a little too hard. The cigarette disappeared with a 'POOF'.

James blew the smoke out in her face and frowned. 'Professor, I was enjoying that—'

'Shut up and get in, both of you.' She replied irritably. Then she stormed off, no doubt to rant about them to anyone who would listen. They entered the house, their shoes echoing against the hard floor. The staircase was tall and grand and spiralled off into oblivion. They made their way to the dining room where almost everyone was. Sirius saw Harry and hurried forward, picking his godson up and kissing him.

'How's my favourite boy?' he asked tenderly, swinging the boy around. James barged Sirius playfully out of the way, scooping up his son and throwing him in the air before catching him. He kissed Lily briefly on the lips when she drew back quickly.

'Have you been smoking?' Lily hissed, her eyes narrowing.

James awkwardly smiled. 'Erm ... guilty.' Before she could lecture or threaten him, James ducked away from her and went back to winding Sirius up.

Remus soon came, apologising for his tardiness and greeting all his friends. 'I went to Peter's to see how he's getting on but he wasn't there. He didn't even open the door.'

Sirius turned away so they wouldn't see his face but he intently listened to what they were saying.

'We haven't seen him in quite a while,' Lily mused. Sirius bit his lip hard. At least Peter had gotten away; at least he was on his way to wherever it was he was going. And hopefully he was safe. Peter was smart when he wanted to be; especially when it came to tactics and staying in the shadows. After all, he had been a spy for over a year.

'I think something's up...' James said softly, running a hand through Harry's hair and pressing a kiss to his son's forehead. 'We haven't seen him in ages, and he hasn't visited. I'm worried about him.'

Silence hushed over the large room and Dumbledore walked in. It was intimidating to see him in sweeping purple robes and a serene expression on his face. Almost like a war wasn't going on at all.

'Please, sit down. We have some important issues to talk about—'

Limping into the room with the THUMP of his cane was Moody, his glass eye swivelling around and accessing everyone's faces. 'Sorry I'm late Dumbledore; damn Death Eater saw me and bolted. Tried to chase him. Tried and failed because of this damn leg! If only you were there Black, he wouldn't have gotten away. Bunkin' training whenever you want!'

Sirius laughed, and ignored the glare Moody sent him. 'I'm sorry Moodster; I'll be there next time.'

Moody grunted as he sat down on the spare seat saved for him on Dumbledore's left.

They whispered to each other for a second and then Dumbledore turned to face the whole table. There must have been about twenty of them, some couldn't attend and some were recovering still from the Hogsmeade Battle that had taken place a few weeks prior.

The old Headmaster looked around once more and then his eyes settled on Sirius. 'Some grave news came to me a few days ago, some very grave news.' His voice was sombre and deep, and the twinkle in his eyes shone brighter than usual.

'Sirius Black informed me on whom the traitor is.' The mutter that echoed through the room hurt Sirius's ears as his cheeks turned a little pink – thank God for the dim lighting.

He could feel Lily pinching him to get his attention and James whispering urgently in his ear but he ignored it all. The only person he could see was Dumbledore. The room hushed when everyone saw the old man's mouth open as he waited for silence.

'The traitor is Peter Petti—'

'NOOOO!' cried James and Lily and Remus simultaneously. They all jumped out of their seats in uproar. Their faces were red and their eyes were wide in disbelief. 'It's not true!' one of them called. Sirius impatiently tugged on James's arm.

'It's true,' his hoarse voice said quietly. 'Would I lie about a betrayal from a best friend?' He asked them. Lily sat down slowly, shaking her head in disbelief and Remus soon followed, burying his face in his hands whilst Alice put a hand on his back and whispered some comforting, friendly words.

But James stayed standing.

'It's not true, it can't be.' His voice was so quiet it even hurt to try and hear his words.

Sirius watched him for a second and when James started muttering and shaking his head, he furiously jumped. 'Prongs.' James didn't look at him but continued staring at Dumbledore. 'James! Would I lie James? Would I lie to you? I saw it! I saw his filthy mark and I listened as he confessed to his filthy sins! Now sit down!'

He didn't know why he was so angry, but he couldn't stand their disbelief. Because it made him feel so bad for spoiling the Marauders.

'You saw it Sirius?' asked Dumbledore curiously. Both men turned to look at him, having gotten caught up in their heat and anger.

'I saw him yesterday—'

'You've been lying to us Sirius!' James shouted indignantly.

Sirius sat down silently and faced the Headmaster. 'I saw him yesterday. I was very angry with him, and I hurt him. I was close to killing him. I used Unforgiveables too. I told him to confess, and he did. He told me of how he's been informing Malfoy and my cousin Bellatrix of what our plans were in this war for over a year. I forced him to show me the mark and then when I looked away for barely a moment he escaped.'

Lies. He was lying. But everyone was too consumed in their shock to notice. And Sirius was a very good liar. Besides, he mixed in the lie with the truth. Barely detectable.

'You used an Unforgiveable on Peter?' James whispered in horror, sitting down slowly. 'How could you?' he breathed, his eyes watering.

'D'you think it was easy for me? D'you think I enjoyed it James?' asked Sirius, impatiently. He was not in the mood for a conversation like this in front of all their friends and Professors.

'Did you let him explain—?'

'WHAT WAS THERE TO EXPLAIN?' roared Sirius, jumping up once again. James stood up too but in a more dignified manner. 'WHEN I SEE HIM AGAIN, I'LL FUCKING KILL HIM! AND THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT JAMES! STOP MAKING EVERYTHING SO COMPLICATED! HE BETRAYED US AND YOUR PITIFUL EXCUSES WON'T HELP HIM WHERE HE'S GOING!'

Sirius was surprised at how angry he could sound about Peter. In truth these thoughts were in his mind, and he was debating whether to tell them where Peter was right now. But the thoughts from yesterday night when he helped Peter remained too. And it was like a war in his mind; like a war between hungry Hippogriffs for a chunk of meat.

'You always stand up for him, but you can't now.' He said after breathing in deeply, in a quieter and more dangerous voice.

James took one look at Remus and then Lily. 'Fuck ... fuck.' He said softly before quickly slipping out of the room. Sirius looked around at all the shocked eyes that were either watching the door or him.

'Go and get him then,' Lily hissed angrily. He slipped out of the room like James, but more graceful and a little slower. All eyes were on him and even Dumbledore was shocked by both the news and the argument. Barely a few moments later everyone from inside heard shouting.

'Never pegged Black as an Unforgiveable type person initially, but he likes to use them on the battlefield, I've tried to tell him not to use them, but when they get us Death Eaters...' Moody grunted, looking towards where the shouting was coming from. 'But Pettigrew was his friend... Are you sure it's Pettigrew Dumbledore? That boy doesn't even look fit enough to wave a wand, let alone stay undetected for over a year?'

'Sirius gave proof that it was Peter, all we have to do now is find the young man. I'm sure he's just hiding somewhere in London where he thinks we can't find him.'

'Are you sure though Albus? Peter Pettigrew?' Professor McGonagall gave a short and humourless laugh. 'They boy hasn't got a brave or evil bone in his body!'

Dumbledore nodded and turned from the door to face everyone on the table. 'Sirius wouldn't lie about something this important. He's telling the truth, all the clues add up. It's just a matter of whether the clues are a false trail or Peter really has betrayed us—'

'JAMES, DON'T BRING MY BROTHER INTO THIS!'

'BUT IT'S TRUE! YOU'RE TREATING THIS AS THOUGH PETER WERE REGULUS, AS THOUGH HE DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU! TEN FUCKING YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP—'

'Are you actually fucking comparing Regulus to Peter? My brother? My brother who's been my brother for nineteen years? I think it's safe to say who meant more to me. And now one is rotting in the ground whilst the other is hiding God knows where. So don't patronise me Jamie and don't you dare assume I didn't love my brother, otherwise I would never have been motivated in becoming an Auror. This was all for him, you know it was all for him.'

There was a painful silence in which all eyes flickered to the door once more; even though they were trying to pay attention to what Dumbledore was saying.

'H-how?' stuttered James. 'I thought we were his friends?'

'Peter's always thought of himself first. How many pranks did we 'fess up to completely because he was too cowardly to admit he took part in it?'

'Loads.'

'So ask yourself this Jamie, who do you trust more? Peter... or me?'

They could all hear a groan. 'Do you even need to ask?'

'Then how could I be lying? I saw it, I felt it! The Dark Mark was tattooed into his skin.'

There was the sound of footsteps, loud and resonant. 'Look ...' Sirius started, but then he seemed to think against it because abruptly, he said, 'Fuck ... wanna go for a fag?' It was probably his way of apologising for getting angry and keeping the truth from James.

'Yeah, why not,' James replied. It was probably his way of saying sorry for his attitude and getting angry so quickly; so easily.

And they could hear footsteps getting quieter. Lily hopped up and handed Remus her son as she hurried out of the room.

'Where do you think you're going?' she screeched at them, her voice carrying to the meeting, both men with cigarettes in their hands and their wands perched near, ready to light it.

'I'm having—'

'No you're not James, now give it to me and get the hell back in that dining room! We've drawn out the meeting long enough without you guys disappearing!' She waved her wand and the cigarettes disappeared.

'Bitch,' James mumbled under his breath.

In the end the meeting lasted much longer than it was supposed to. Dumbledore asked Sirius to explain in more detail what happened, and he did. He talked for what felt like hours, answering every question the other Order members asked.

Finally Moody discussed the tactics they'd use in looking for and capturing Peter. If they handed him over to the Ministry he would receive the Dementor's Kiss. But they couldn't hand him over because technically the Order of the Phoenix wasn't an official legitimate organisation, only Law Enforcement completely knew about them. So instead they were going to lie to the Ministry and get him a life sentence in Azkaban for some offence or whatever.

At the end of the meeting Sirius spoke to Dumbledore who asked further questions, like if he'd received another visit from the future Sirius. He told him truthfully no, and then he asked Dumbledore if he could be excused.

'Oh, and Sirius, here you go,' the man said before Sirius could run off. Being in Dumbledore's presence made him feel nervous, and he was worried the old man would sense something was wrong. It was a letter written in the Headmaster's hand. 'It's clear instructions on how to execute the Fidelius Charm.'

Sirius thanked him and took it. He wandered over to Remus who was idly chatting to Frank and Alice.

'Hello guys,' he said glumly.

'That was quite a show you guys gave us,' joked Alice, ruffling Sirius's hair. He shrugged. He hadn't meant to get so angry but he felt rather protective of his brother and his friends. Like two conflicting parts of his personality.

'It was unintentional, believe me. Have you seen Moody?'

'He's telling those who are searching through Peter's home their instructions.' Frank told him. He nodded at them and ambled off out of the dining room, looking for Moody. He could hear voices and found who he was looking for.

'Moody?' he asked rather tentatively, contrasting with his usually confident voice. Moody looked up and a scary smile flickered across his face. The man excused himself and limped towards Sirius. They walked down into a room that was deserted.

'I guess this is it.' Sirius said sadly.

Moody raised an eyebrow. 'It's tonight isn't it?' His voice was grave.

Sirius nodded. 'I just wanted you to know I'll be in Ireland, and I'll send you letters. Perhaps you could give Remus some of them?'

'Of course,' came the gruff reply.

'I'll be back you know.' His voice was braver than he actually felt. But the closer the time came, the more worried he grew.

'If anyone could come back I'd be you,' said Moody.

Sirius could feel his eyes water but he blinked at it cleared. 'Thanks Moody,' and before he knew what he was doing he threw his arm around the short man and gave him a masculine, rough one-armed hug. After a few seconds his mentor pushed him away with a laugh.

'Gerrof me you pansy,' he chuckled and Sirius winked at him.

'Shut up Moody.' Then he hurried off outside. He was getting very anxious, very quickly. There was no way he regretted becoming the secret keeper for the Potters. But he was so scared and his hands were trembling.

More than once he almost burnt himself as he lit his cigarette. He inhaled and kept it inside, enjoying the smoke in his system and the tickle in his throat. He looked up when he heard footsteps and thought to hide the cigarette from Lily or McGonagall. However it was neither of them; but instead Remus.

Sirius breathed out in relief and smiled gently at his friend. Above the stars were twinkling like diamonds on velvet and the sky was a dark indigo. His smoke rose and dissolved wistfully in the sky. He leant back against the stone wall as he waited for Remus to come and stand besides him. His friend did just that.

'I can't believe you didn't tell us,' Remus muttered glumly, accepting a fag and lighting it with a click of his fingers. Remus was a social smoker, unlike Sirius and James who chain smoked whenever they were anxious or nervous or angry. It was a horrid habit Lily often told them and Sirius had to agree. But he had too much on his mind to pay any heed to her bullshit. Not that she wasn't worth a thought, she was worth his life.

'I'm sorry.' Sirius said honestly.

'Only I'm glad you let him escape,' Remus replied, puffing smoke into the air and watching it rise and softly disappear. He cleared his throat and swallowed, licking his lips.

Sirius slowly turned to meet his gaze. He considered lying and then thought better of it. Remus would never swallow his lies; he was hard too hard to lie to. Instead he slowly nodded.

'I did hurt him, I hurt him so bad.' Sirius whispered, catching a stray tear and brushing it off his cheekbone impatiently. 'D'you remember Regulus? D'you remember how he was when he became a Death Eater? And I cornered him and got him to tell me why. He said he was scared... Peter said he was scared when I asked him the same question.'

He looked away from his friend and quickly wiped his face. He couldn't bear to remember the bad times, but then again he was approaching a time that was only getting worse.

'It's good that you showed him compassion, it shows you are compassionate. It's what sets you apart from your family, from the Death Eaters and Lord Voldemort. Why would anyone want to kill someone like a brother to them?'

'It's my job; it's what I'm paid for.'

Remus shook his head and grabbed Sirius's arm passionately. 'Your job is to kill the bad, not the foolish and desperate. Peter was cowardly and scared but he was never bad, he isn't bad.' His voice was quiet and hard but it was still comforting.

The dark haired Black buried his face in his hands after throwing his cigarette on the floor. 'You cannot tell anyone Remus, I'll get in so much trouble,' he whispered in such a frightened voice.

'You have more important things to be worrying about than Dumbledore's wrath. You need to have fun whilst you can. Us Marauders, together.'

'Peter's not really part of us anymore, is he?' Sirius whispered. Remus replied with a gentle shake of his head and a shrug. 'Than I should get the rat tattooed on my back removed.' He said angrily. He stomped on the fag sizzling on the ground and stomped off. 'I'll probably be in the pub!' he shouted over his shoulder.

Then he looked around to make sure no one could see him and transformed, bounding off through the enormous field to the closest pub. He felt a charm hit him though, and when he opened his eyes he was looking through his human ones. He was also sprawled rather painfully on the ground.

Furiously, he jumped up and looked around for James. 'You can't keep doing that James; I could have hurt myself.'

'I'm sorry; I just thought maybe you'd want someone to keep you company.' His friend said, emerging from the shadows and throwing an arm over Sirius's shoulder. 'I don't want you to be alone.'

'What, you think between now and eleven o'clock, I'll get myself killed or something and you won't have a secret keeper anymore?' Sirius's voice was more bitter than he intended.

James withdrew his arm like he had been burned. 'No,' his hurt voice replied. And his eyes sparkled in the dark. 'No, h-how could you even think that? I don't care about your wellbeing for my family; I care about your wellbeing because you are my family.'

Sirius stubbornly stuffed his hands in his pockets. He looked away glumly from James. 'You're still mad at me aren't you?'

'In all honesty I was worried you were mad at me,' James answered, stuffing his hands back in his pockets and looking over to the tall house. 'This is our last night together, will you just grow up and stop being so ... so angry. It's hurting me.'

'Of course, I should go out of my way to protect James Potter's feelings.'

James's face screwed up and he lifted his head defiantly. 'Why're you being so unpleasant? Is it the Worm— the Peter thing?'

'It's every fucking thing James! It's everything mate! Just leave me alone for a bit—'

James growled impatiently, 'Sirius—'

'I'll be at your house to perform the charm at eleven on the dot, now just leave me alone.' And he transformed, hurrying forward and bounding off into the distance. Fuck getting drunk; it was no where near enough.

No, he was going to write the letter he had always wanted to write Taten, he was going to confess how he still loved her, how he was still mad about her. And maybe if he ever survived this, he'd be with her. Of course there was still the possibility that she had moved on, that she had found another man and was deeply in love with him. Perhaps she had forgotten him? Maybe she was already married; he wouldn't put it past her. She was a dumb bitch.

Sirius shook his head at the impossibility of her finding someone else. She had promised him her heart was his ... he was sure her heart belonged to him.

And he, ten minutes later, found himself in the cover of bushes and trees. Perhaps it was the Peter problem that set the tears off, or maybe it was the idea that in a few hours he was going to give his life away to the people he loved. He didn't know what set the waterworks off but he cried wholeheartedly, his groans ripping through the air. This was harder than he had thought it would be.

He didn't mean to be so horrid to James; his friend was just as sad and just as worried about the whole predicament as he was! It was just the anger and the shock of how quick his life was most probably coming its close. Regardless, he knew that he owed them more. He would apologise to them for being an insufferable arse.

But right now, all he wanted to do was write that dear letter. Sirius waved his wand and conjured from his home a blank piece of parchment and a quill. Leaning on the thick envelope Dumbledore gave him, he began to write.

My Beautiful Rose,

I know it's been quite a while, and I hope you don't think less of me for this sappy and heartfelt letter I'm about to write you, but I miss you. I miss you so much it hurts Rose, it really hurts. But I need to get over it, you're not coming back. I won't be coming back too. I've got a mission that needs doing, a mission that will be the end of me, probably. Think of this as a love letter, a last letter; regardless, I want to write my last letter to you.

I haven't had a girlfriend since you, a few flings that didn't even last a week but flings nonetheless. They were meaningless of course. It was all about the sex and I feel guilty now I'm speaking to you but whether or not my making 'love' with all those other women upsets you, please feel honoured that even now after almost a year of separation I still think of you when I'm with them. If I close my eyes I can see back to our Valentine's weekend in Paris. The weekend where we kissed and we made real love, where we laughed and went sightseeing. You were just as beautiful as Paris. The city of love.

Do you still love me Rose? I still love you. I apologise if this letter ... this love letter is confusing you, if there's someone else who owns your heart. Just remember it was mine first. And before me, it was James's. On the plus side you'll have someone to treat you right, but to be honest I always treated you right. It was your fault we ended, your fault we never worked out. Hopefully, if we are ever reunited, you've grown up a little. Ignore me; I'm drunk off of self-pity and I'm in a foul mood. I've just had two arguments with James in a row, and even you know that's quite the record for us star-crossed lovers. He'll forgive me, he needs to. I'm the reason he's going to survive; I need some sort of recognition of that.

Rosie, tell me everything's good? Tell me that everything is perfect in Australia? How's your Mother, Charlotte? I've missed our banter and admiring her beautiful body from afar very much; it still shocks me she's barely sixteen years older than me. Her illness isn't getting better is it? I'm never going to read your reply; I'll probably be gone when it comes. Knowing your late replies and how awfully far Australia is I wouldn't expect an answering letter in less than two weeks. But by then I'll be gone.

Rose I really do hope you've found the answers you were searching for. I know you didn't go to Australia to look for answers, but it was one of the pitiful excuses you gave me. Everything here has been going fine by the way. James and Lily are still together, and Harry is as healthy and adorable as he was when you last saw him – that one time you saw him. Remus has gotten the dream job he has always wanted, and he's already the head of a department. I can't remember what it's called right now but when I do, you'll be the first to know ... I'm so proud of him, he always had a bright future and it's almost relieving to know that I'm leaving him in a good spot. As for Peter ... well let's just say he hasn't been with us mentally and emotionally for quite a while. He betrayed us, but I forgave him. Make sure you don't tell anyone of my mercy though; otherwise I might have to locate him kill him. And believe me, I was considering it. But my compassion for him got the better of me.

I haven't spoken to the family for quite a bit, but believe me, who would want too? I heard Mother is faring horribly without Father and Regulus. To be frank I hope she dies soon, it is nothing less than she deserves. And I'll get all her money when she snuffs it. In case you haven't heard, though Australia should be broadcasting our nasty situation, we're losing the war. Right now, we've had twenty per cent more casualties than the Death Eaters and Voldemort. I'm scared of course, but at least my three friends will survive. If you ever need them, or if you ever need help, go to Remus. He'll take care of you. He's a good friend.

Well Rose Taten, I've babbled on for long enough. I think its just jitters; I am mere hours from performing the charm that will change my life. For the worse of course ... Most charms are always for the worse. Like your charm, and your kisses and your hugs and your love. But it doesn't really matter now does it, I'm telling you I still love you and I hope to see you soon. I know I won't see you soon, but wishing have never hurt anyone.

I miss you, I love you,

Yours forever and always,

Sirius Black

xo

Sirius looked down at the small and narrow writing; betraying every thought that had been running through his head for the best part of half an hour. He kissed the spot where he had written 'My Beautiful Rose' and smiled softly at it. Then Sirius conjured a ribbon and then tied it around the rolled up parchment. Without a thought he apparated to where his motorbike was, and waving his wand the invisibility charm was lifted and his shimmering glossy bike glistened into sight.

Sirius was about to get on when he heard someone from behind clear their throat.

'You weren't going to leave without saying goodbye, were you?' Remus's quite and sad voice asked.

Sirius looked behind him and gave his dear friend a watery smile. 'I'm sorry, I must have forgotten.'

Remus cocked his head to the rolled parchment and raised an eyebrow. 'What's that?'

'A letter, a letter you need to promise me you'll send.' He suddenly said, shoving it towards his tawny-blond haired friend. Remus took it and looked, but there was no name.

'Who is it for?' Did he really need to ask? Sirius had been with many girls in his life, and it could have been any of them. But he knew. He just knew.

'Rose.'

Before any of them knew what they were doing, they had thrown their arms around each other with such ferventness and passion it almost hurt. 'Promise me you'll hide—'

'I've got a place in Ireland, it'll last a while.'

'A while? Sirius please!' Remus growled angrily. He drew back and furiously stared his friend in the eye. 'This isn't a joke, take care of yourself. For me and Lily and James...'

'As best I can, I'll protect myself. But in the end it's the secret that matters most, right?' His eyes were teary and he ignored the lone tear that dribbled down his pale face. He closed his eyes and felt the tickle of his eyelashes across his cheekbones.

'It's you that matters most.' Remus whispered sympathetically, hugging his friend again. 'I always knew you loved danger, but not quite so literally... stay safe, please.'

Sirius nodded into his friend's shoulder and then sniffed and laughed. 'We're such a bunch of pansies! I'll be fine Remus, no one ever stays fine but I will for as long as I can.'

Remus dropped his arms and nibbled on his lip. 'He'll look for you, you know; as hard as he can. He cares more about Harry than he does about winning this war.'

'I'll die before I tell him. And we all know that me dying will keep the secret safe, in one way or another.'

Remus looked up into the stars, and he could see the brightest, the namesake of his friend of course, almost alone. Away from all the other clusters of stars. It hurt Remus.

He gave Sirius one last hug. 'I love you Pads,' he said softly, ruffling his friend's hair.

Sirius laughed softly and smiled a true smile, embracing Remus again. 'I love you more,' he said softly, ruffling the golden brown halo of hair hard. They kindly nodded to each other before Sirius hoped on his bike.

'Oh, Remus?' He suddenly remembered something he needed to say.

'Hmm?'

'I can't tell you exactly where Lily and James are staying, but remember, Godric's Hollow, for the life of Merlin, remember Godric's Hollow!'

With a hard kick and a few changes of gears and presses of buttons, he was sailing through the air like a peregrine falcon; fast and silent. It was an hour of hushed and daunting driving. The clouds hid from Sirius, but the cold charged at him. He shivered more than once; probably a thousand times. When his teeth were chattering he ignored his discomfort and raged forward.

He felt like he was driving the bike to Voldemort himself. And in all honesty, he was. But he loved the thought of protecting his friends. And he knew he was only bitter because of today. He respected his friends, and frankly three lives were more valuable than his own lone life.

Sirius could pick out Godric's Hollow from space. It was proud and surrounded by wild life. It took him a while to find the small house James had informed him of earlier. But after twenty minutes of driving around he found it near a graveyard and a small, old church. He parked the bike, made it invisible and then breathed in deeply as he walked faster towards the small house.

Number Seven, Godric's Hollow. Sirius knocked loudly. It was five to eleven. He was early. Seconds of waiting that felt like hours and the door finally swung open.

James Potter smiled at him and gently, Sirius Black smiled back.