A/N - Sorry not sorry about the sexual innuendos and jokes... it's all part of the story (yeah I'm really bad at just doing one-shots okay this thing has gone places in my mind and I hand wrote parts of this chapter so I could free up sections of brain for further thinking of where Lenny will be going in this fic) (ps. blame Neil) (ps. ps. remember that sweater dress thing Penny wears in the 100th episode and goes "yeah okay no" well just envision it right now before you read this chapter)
"That's an interesting choice of outfit."
"Shut up." Penny snapped at Kim, before turning her head to smile at Leonard who had been holding her chair out for her. She had just introduced Kim, Sandy and Leonard to each other, having opted not to label Leonard as a friend or a boyfriend just yet - or labelling Kim as 'the sluttiest waitress in Pasadena'. "Thank you sweetie."
"Seriously, what it with that sweater...dress... thing you are wearing?" Kim asked quietly as Leonard sat opposite Penny beside Sandy.
"I had to find my two least sexy outfits for these stupid no sex dates."
"Ah, so you're going for the anti-sexy vibe. Gotcha." Kim winked.
"I got us a bottle of house white for the table at the bar, is that okay with you guys?" Sandy asked once the girls had turned their attention away from each other.
"Perfect." Penny nodded.
"Works for me." Leonard agreed, before picking up his menu. He really had no idea what to say when it came to wine - something he had realized whenever Penny asked him if he was okay with whatever wine she had purchased that evening. All he knew was that it gave him headaches if he had more than two glasses.
The rest of them followed suit and Kim smirked as she leaned toward Penny, lowering her voice. "Penny will have the meatball appetizer followed by the... sausage and a side of mayonnaise."
"Okay that's disgusting." Penny whispered, glad that Leonard and Sandy were currently discussing food options with enthusiasm - apparently the 'menu is so varied' - she hadn't even looked at it properly yet.
"You'll find it funny after a few glasses of wine."
"If I slap you after a few glasses of wine will that be funny too?"
"Hey - that's totally unnecessary!"
"It's actually very necessary."
"Whatever." Kim rolled her eyes.
The waiter arrived with their bottle of wine and Kim gestured to Sandy in delegation of wine tasting and approval. They all watched as Sandy took a sip before confirming that it was fine. The waiter proceeded to fill their glasses and Penny wondered if she was also supposed to offer customers a taste before serving a bottle.
"Would you like some more time or are you ready to order?"
Kim shrugged. "I'm ready, yeah." Penny nodded, and the two guys also bobbed their heads in agreement.
Leonard and Sandy had quickly found that they both had a liking for Babylon 5 and no other friends who particularly liked it much, and had thus entered a very intense discussion about it.
Neither Kim nor Penny were accustomed to not being the total focus of their dates attention and sat quietly, throwing each other comments about how stupid the guys were for being so excited over such a bad TV show.
"Would you like to see the dessert menus?" The waitress asked, once their meals had finished and their plates were being cleared away. Sandy had just finished telling Leonard about the time he'd done an all nighter watching a whole season from start to finish.
"I'm up for dessert." Sandy said, looking to the three of them for further comment.
"Me too." Leonard nodded quickly.
"Sure." Kim sighed, figuring they might as well since the guys had practically decided for them already. Penny simply gave a hum of agreement from beside her. Once they'd been handed their dessert menus and chosen and ordered, Kim turned to Penny once more since the guys had gone on to discussing the strengths of each individual character. "So Sandy and Leonard are having an amazing first date together."
"I know, maybe they won't even have to wait 'til the third date for things to go further."
"You're probably joking but I wouldn't be surprised if they stayed up all night watching that stupid show together." Kim scoffed.
"Ugh, this is what I get for wearing this stupid sweater dress." Penny scowled. "I think he's looked at me like, once."
"Sandy looked at me by accident when he refilled my wine glass." Kim huffed. "We should have ordered another bottle."
"I'm with you there." Penny agreed. "So, what do you say we have a little fun with dessert?"
"What do you mean?"
"What do I mean? Come on, like you've never done it before. Dessert is literally the sexiest part of dinner dates."
"Okay, you're wearing a sweater dress, you don't get to use the word 'sexy'." Kim pointed out.
"Whatever. At least ten minutes of this date is going to consist on them paying attention to us and not each other."
"I dunno," Kim tilted her head as she watched Sandy, "I think he's got hearts in his eyes."
"Just do it. I know I wore a sweater dress but Leonard's seen me naked. He can use his imagination with some prompting."
Sighing, Kim nodded. "Okay, fine. But I'm gonna win." She smirked. "Because I'm not wearing a sweater dress."
"Shut up, it's starting to make me itchy!"
"Good, red itchy blotches are also not sexy and will aid your aim of not having sex."
"It's not my aim. If it were up to me-"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, just shut up and eat your dessert." Kim bobbed her head in the direction of the waitress carrying their desserts over. She was glad that she had the skill to balance two of the small plates on her arm while her hands held the other two, because Kim always seemed to be the last one to get her food when it was brought out in stages. As soon as the waitress had left the table, she grinned at Penny. "Game time."
Despite her attire, Penny was determined to win. Her competitive streak meant that her attention was now entirely on Leonard and ways to regain his attention with their given desserts. He had ordered a fruit salad without melon, whereas she had gone for the brownie. To her delight it came with a scoop of ice cream and generous serving of whipped cream. And to her delight, Penny did not need long at all to come up with a plan. Slipping her foot out of her shoe, she nudged Leonard's leg beneath the table with her toes. "Baby could I have a strawberry please?"
"Sure." Leonard said, turning his attention to Penny. He raised a brow slightly when she smiled at him and ran her toes up and down his leg, but continued to fork a strawberry out from the bowl and held it out to her.
Rather than taking the fork from him, Penny leaned forward to take the strawberry straight into her mouth. The one benefit of the sweater dress was that it was fairly loose, and the lean meant that Leonard received a perfect view of her chest as the material hung away from her body. "Mmmh," Penny moaned appreciatively as she sat back down, Leonard's stare not going unnoticed. "So good. I love strawberries."
"Yeah." Leonard nodded. Suddenly Babylon 5 was the last thing on his mind. "Want another one?"
"Uh-huh."
"Here."
"You know what's even better than just a strawberry?" Penny asked, gliding her finger over the whipped cream and licking it off her finger. "Strawberries and cream." She dipped her finger in to scoop some more of the cream onto her finger and transferred it onto the strawberry before once more sitting up slightly and leaning forward. Rather than eating it off the fork, she simply held it between her teeth and pulled it off the tongs. She sat down once more and held the strawberry between two fingers, slowly licking the cream off with soft hums before finally eating the fruit. "Delicious."
"Definitely." Leonard agreed, completely mesmerized by his girlfriend. How had he let himself miss out on all of this during dinner? "You want some more?"
"Oh, I dunno, I need to get started on this cake." Penny took a piece of the cake slice, using her finger to nudge some of the whipped cream and melting ice cream onto it before taking it into her mouth.
As she continued eating, she held his gaze. The more intense it got, the more noise she made eating her cake. Leonard was eating his fruit on autopilot, his mind too busy focusing on Penny's foot on his leg and her appreciation for dessert. Although Penny had simply intended to get her boyfriends attention and make use of their desserts, she found herself not caring whatsoever that the effect was working both ways - she was getting more and more turned on by the second.
Before either of them knew it, Penny was using her finger to wipe the creamy remains of her dessert off the plate and then sucking it off her finger. Kim decided to break the couples intense silent with a sharp nudge. "Okay, desserts over, home time guys!"
"The, uh," Penny cleared her throat, "dessert was really good."
"Yeah, it was fantastic, Sandy told me all about Leonard's favorite characters and favorite season and how I should totally watch it too." Kim rolled her eyes, evidently unimpressed with how her dessert eating had gone.
"What about the bill?" Leonard asked, needing a distraction from the memory of Penny eating cake.
"Sorted." Sandy patted Leonard on the back as he stood up.
"How much was it?" Leonard began to pull out his wallet.
"Don't worry about it. You can pay next time."
While Leonard went on to insist that he paid for half, Penny stood up to face Kim. "So I think I won that."
"Sandy was so happy about that stupid TV show. I tried making the chocolate éclair I had phallic but it just broke in half and fell on the plate and he laughed at me." Kim grumbled, pulling on her jacket.
"Those are fragile! You have to be careful. Always use the cream to entice. Otherwise use two hands - and always make sure it's not too big for your mouth." Penny raised a brow. "You should know this."
Sighing, Kim bowed her head. "I know, I know."
The feel of Leonard's hand on Penny's back prompted her to start walking out of the restaurant, Kim and Sandy behind them. They thanked their waitress and host on the way out before stepping into the fresh air and making their way towards their cars.
"So, Penny and I are off to my place for some more wine." Kim grinned.
"I need to go back to my place to grab some pajamas." Penny said quickly, needing an excuse to have some time alone with Leonard.
"That's okay, you can borrow some of mine." Kim smirked. No way was she letting Penny slip out of the deal.
"You wanna come over for some Babylon?" Leonard asked Sandy, unlocking his car.
"Oh man." Sandy groaned. "I would love to but I have to open the restaurant tomorrow."
"That's too bad."
"I mean, I guess I could come over for one episode..." Sandy mused.
Shaking her head, Kim snorted. "You guys are obsessed."
"At least this way we get out of watching it." Penny pointed out.
"Okay yeah I'll come over for one episode. I'll just have an extra coffee when I get into work." Sandy decided.
"You boys have fun." Kim chuckled, before wrapping her arms around Sandy to say goodnight.
"Don't stay up too late." Penny told Leonard, placing her hands on his shoulders.
"You too. And don't drink too much wine."
"I'll try, but I make no promises." Penny smiled. "We're having a gossip night, that requires quite a lot."
"So don't complain to me about your headache tomorrow." Leonard squeezed her waist slightly. "Or you'll have to watch Babylon 5 with me."
"Okay. Noted."
Leaning in, Penny placed her lips on his for a quick peck. But the dessert and knowledge that she wasn't going to be going to bed with him tonight led her to a fuller, longer kiss that she couldn't help but deepen. Although Leonard wasn't so confident with being so affectionate in public, the intensity with which she was kissing him quickly made him forget where they were doing this. Her hands slung behind his neck and his hands holding her waist, Penny soon found her hips grinding into him, desperate for more contact.
Suddenly Penny felt her hair being pulled. At first she thought it was Leonard and she tugged at his bottom lip with her teeth, her arousal spiking even more. Then her hair was no longer being pulled and she was being yanked away from Leonard by the back of her dress, stumbling slightly in the process.
"God, you two are impossible to separate." Kim laughed, letting go of Penny's dress. "And I thought Sandy was taking it too far when he squeezed my ass before getting into Leonard's car."
"Umm." Penny looked from Leonard to Kim, trying to catch her breath.
Clearing his throat, Leonard gave Kim a small smile before squeezing Penny's hand. "I'll see you tomorrow."
Penny watched as Leonard took a breath before getting into the car. She turned to Kim and bit her lip. "Sorry."
"It was kinda getting weird." Kim shrugged, gesturing to her car. "And I've seen you with guys in clubs so I'm pretty tolerant with you. This was like... way past making out in a super sexy film. Only not hot because it's creepy when it's your friend."
"You're one to talk." Penny grumbled.
"That was one time and I was drunk."
"Still. I was right there."
"Whatever. Just get in the car. We have wine waiting for us at my place!"
"Give me a few minutes." Penny pursed her lips.
"Why?"
"Your car has a very active engine and I really don't need anything vibrating beneath me while I'm sitting down."
"I'm just gonna pretend you said you wanted some more fresh air instead."
"Well, well, well." Kim shook her head as Penny walked into the staff room.
"I'm sorry!" Penny groaned, slouching over to her locker.
"I don't even need to ask where you went, but what the hell happened?"
Sighing, Penny fiddled with her folded apron. "I called for a taxi."
"Yes, that I also gathered from your note on the coffee table."
"Well..." Penny bit her lip. "I couldn't sleep and I could hear you snoring from your room. So then I text Leonard and... sent him a few photos when I saw he was still awake and then... I called the cab number on your fridge."
"Suppose it's better than you doing it alone on my couch."
"Exactly."
"Still, this was your practice for a no sex date and you failed! Like, miserably failed."
"I know, I know!" Penny held her hands up in surrender.
"You know, I'm quite disappointed. I thought your relationship was more than that."
"It is! I just... ugh, you know me. I love sex. I love sex with Leonard and it's amazing and maybe our relationship is more than that. But I haven't known him for very long and he's the first guy I've been with since Kurt so yeah, perhaps it is just about that right now. Is that so bad? There's nothing wrong with that!"
"Alright alright, calm down!" Kim chuckled, hitting Penny's arm with her notepad before tucking it into her apron. "Look, you're right. There's nothing wrong with that. I was just mostly annoyed that you prioritized Leonard - and sex - over me and a promise."
Smirking, Penny raised a shoulder. "Plus I got some and you didn't."
"Whatever."
"But maybe you're wrong, you know. If you chose Leonard and he answered your call at three in the morning and you didn't give me some made up excuse, then I think your relationship is more than just a physical thing."