A/N: Whew, sorry it's been taking so long….but at least I am nearly finished with this fic. Getting a new place, work, and other stuff have been keeping me busy. But I will get it done soon.
Okay...here we go!
Disclaimer: I don't own Silent Hill or its characters with the exception of Peter.
The two ceiling monsters swung thier tails about staring at James, Frank, and Harry. They approached them sinisterly, licking thier lips as they went about to leap when-
James: (takes out a handful of cash) HERE TAKE IT! ITS ALL I HAVE!
Frank: Hey! That is my money! Put it back!
James: Sorry...(gives it back to his father)
Ceiling Monster: What are you doing here?
Harry: We are looking for the creature that has been eating your kind, seen it?
Ceiling Monster 2: What does it look like?
Harry: How should we know if we knew we would have just described it to you before you even asked.
Ceiling: Yeah, I notice you guys have a habit of doing that.
James: I don't...I don't think...
Frank: That is right...you don't think James...look, a mouse!
Frank points to a dank blood-soaked hallway.
James: Yay mouse! Heeeeeeereeeee mousey, mousey, mousey! (he runs off down the hallway looking around for a apparent mouse)
Ceiling Monster: (stares at James oddly) Is he...?
Frank: Yes...a brain-dead loser that is unfortunely my son.
Ceiling Monster: I was going to say 'available' but if he is that dumb never mind.
Harry: Wait...What!?!
Meanwhile, somewhere else while I try to get my bearings on this story...
Walter, Eileen, and Peter entered 'Heaven's Night' a strip club where Eileen told Peter that 'its where his aunty Maria used to work'. As they looked around, Eileen put Peter down and the little cutey toddled around weaving underneath tables and chairs.
Peter: Can I play on the poles?
Eileen: No!
Peter: I will wash my hands afterwards...
Eileen: Okay then.
So Peter shimmied up the top of the pole and slid down again happily.
Peter: Weeeeeeeeee! (thump-he lands on his butt-so cute!)
He shimmies up the pole and does it again.
Peter: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-!
Walter: That would be a cute sight if it wasn't for the fact that the pole hadn't been cleaned in twenty years.
Eileen: O.O PETER GET OFF THAT POLE RIGHT NOW YOUNG MAN!
On the streets of Silent Hill...
The others were walking towards Brookhaven Hospital. When all of a sudden, Henry tripped over something that set off a wave of garbage cans flying in thier direction.
Henry: HOLY CRAP ITS CRAP! RUN!
They ran behind a mailbox just before the trash struck them.
Vincent: Looks like one of "Sergent" Braintree's booby-traps...Mmm...boobies...
Claudia: (slaps Vincent out of his trance) Richard must be nearby, maybe we can knock him out of his acid trip or something.
Maria: How?
Claudia: I don't know...!
Vincent: (comes out from behind the mailbox) RICHARD! ITS YOUR FATHER! STOP ACTING LIKE YOU ARE IN THE WAR RIGHT THIS INSTANT!
A more powerful wave of trash comes at Vincent who leaps out of the way just in time.
Vincent: Well, that didn't work...why don't we just surrender and hope that the Geneva Convention Rules apply here...
Henry: No we need to get to the Hospital! We just need a distraction!
Maria: Like what? (half hoping that it wouldn't be her)
Henry: Hmmmmm, how about...(he looks over...)
Claudia: ... O.o
Henry: (...past Claudia's shoulder at a sweet little kitten staring up at them)
Claudia/Henry/Maria/Vincent: Awwwwwww...
The next few minutes the kitten is lauched out into the street as a decoy for Richard. Just as the kitten lands on the ground and shakes its head, he comes out with a net made of fried chicken bones tied with twistie ties and sneaks up towards the kitten who is a bit dazed from the toss. While he isn't looking Henry, Maria, Vincent, and Claudia crawl out of his hindsight to saftey.
Kitten: O.o Mew?
Henry: (while crawling) You know, it sort of bothers me...
Maria: About-(looks over her shoulder) Vincent I told you to keep your eyes down on the sidewalk-(looks back at Henry)-about throwing that sweet little baby kitty out as bait for Richard?
Henry: No...about that chicken bone net...creepy.
Vincent: I wonder how my toy is holding up.
Claudia: Don't worry I fed her before we left.
Vincent: XD Thanks Claudy!
Claudia: T-T Don't call me Claudy...
Back in the Apartment
Seras: I ammmmmmmmmmm boreeeeeeeeeeed! (she was laying on her back counting the clothes hangers for the fifth time) One...two...three...Okay...now what?
She lifted her upper body up and knocked over a box as she did so. Some books tumbled out.
Seras: Oh boy! (she grabbed some) Ohhhhh, this looks like something I better hang on for Integra...this looks important: "How to pick up men the non-slutty way" "So You're Author is a yaoi-lover"...what is yaoi anyway? I will just ask Master before he goes out to sleep with that werewolf nazi Hans..um...Well well...
She found a book that seemed to scream "read me" and it was...
VINCENT'S DIARY!!!!!!!! DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNN!
In the Hospital.
James suddenly ran screaming out of the blood-stained hallway. One of the ceiling monsters wrapped him up in his tail in a sort of comforting embrace (but he was secretly trying to feel him up) From where James left was the sound of a bone-chilling growl getting closer and closer.
Ceiling Monster 2: Its the creature! Hurry, this way!
Frank and Harry were hesitant they wanted to know who or what the creature was but on the other hand if it could eat monsters what would stop them from eating humans as well?
Ceiling Monster 1: (still hugging James) Its getting closer...why is the author just letting us stand here!?
MegFallow: Because I figured now would be a good time to see who the monster is...
Frank: Like...like who...
MegFallow: Well...you see the monster is...(but before she could say anything a dark portal appeared from behind her where a short-haired blond girl with abnormally large boobs flew out at top speeds hitting the author from behind and knocking her out cold) XP X.x
Harry: HEATHER!
Heather: DADDY!
Alucard: (from inside the dark portal) She is a sex offender I tells ya! If you don't do something with that bitch soon I am pressing rape charges!
Harry: (hugs his daughter but gives her a stern look) Honey...?
Heather: Yes daddy?
Harry: You didn't grope that vampire did you?
Heather: Um...maybe...?
Harry: (brightens up) Oh well, at least you are back safe and sound!
Alucard's voice: I mean it...I will press charges! Don't think I won't!
Frank: Um, aren't we forgetting something?
The dark bulking figure of a blob-like shadow rears up behind Frank in a extreme cliff-hanging cliche!
Alucard's voice: (sees the dark blobby creature) Cripes I am out of here! If you guys get out of this alive call my lawyer! BYE!
Black portal disappears...
TBC
OH NO! WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT? WILL HEATHER GO TO JAIL? AND WHAT WAS THAT CREATURE! Next time we will reveal its secret identy and Peter learns alot of strange new stuff in the strip club...you have been warned.