A/N All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just take then out to play.

Thanks for all the reviews. Keeps me going.

I started my truck and picked up the cell phone Edward had given me and called the only number programed into in. "Hi, I'm on my way home...okay...see you soon...love you." I laughed, maybe things would work out for everyone.

I giggled to myself all the way home from LaPush. The look on Jacob's face when he saw Cheyanne was priceless. I never understood the imprinting thing with the pack, but I think I will be forever glad it exists if Jake gets to be happy. Maybe now he will understand how I feel about Edward, It is fate or destiny, or some other unexplainable force that our love is.

I had called Edward as I was leaving LaPush just to see if he was back from hunting with his family yet, he said he would be at the house when I got home so I was anxious to get back. Even though it had only been nine hours since I had seen him, I missed him terribly. I cannot explain the ache I feel when we are apart. I don't know if it is just the fear of him leaving again or what, but I knew I would see him soon and that was enough.

I arrived at the house and ran upstairs to my room. I stopped outside my bedroom door and took a deep breath. I opened the door and there was my life sitting on my bed. "Hi" I said as I ran to my bed and jumped in his arms, "I missed you. Did you have a good day with you family?" He kissed my forehead and rubbed my back ."Yes, as a matter of fact it was a very good day. You seem in a very happy mood, did you have a good time at LaPush? Everything went well?" I couldn't help by laugh out loud, I gave him a big hug and said "Jacob imprinted!" "What" Edward asked "seriously, you saw that?" I turned and straddled his legs, putting both arms around his neck "Yes, it was the strangest thing. It was like time stood still for him. The look on his face was priceless. I think I noticed it before he did, he didn't have a clue!" I giggle again "I guess imprinting is another name for love a first sight." Edward smiled at me."Good, I am glad for Jacob, maybe now he will understand how I feel about you." I kissed Edward and he responded, kissing me until I couldn't breath,then he pulled back, as always and rested his head against my forehead. I yawn and he laughed, "time for sleep, you have had a busy day." I stuck my lower lip out in an exaggerated pout,which only made him laugh more, "I don't want to sleep, I missed you all day. I just want to stay awake for a while and look at you." He pulled me closer and sighed "why don't you go get ready for bed, then we can talk awhile until you are ready to sleep."

I gave him a quick kiss and got up to gather my night clothes and went to the bathroom to shower. When I finished I found Edward had turned back my bed and was waiting with the quilt pulled back, I scowled at him and climbed into bed, he tucked the quilt around me tightly and then laid down beside me and pulled me close. "So did you and Jacob get a chance to talk before he threw you over for the woman of his dreams" Edward smirked. I slapped his arm and told him "It wasn't like that and you know it." he laughed and kissed my head, "and yes we got a chance to talk" leaving out the part where Jake threw me over his shoulder in order to get me alone to talk. "He is worried about you hurting me again, or leaving again, but we came to an understanding, I think, basically we agreed to disagree where you are concerned." Edward sighed deeply "I guess everyone that loves you feels that way, only time will prove that I won't, no that I can't, leave you again. As long as you know it, I will deal with the rest."

I didn't say anything, the lump in my throat would not let me. Even though I wanted to believe Edward, that he meant it when he said he would stay, there was still a part of my brain that was afraid he would. I was afraid he would find another reason to leave, to protect me again, or eventually he would just get bored. I didn't even realize I had tears in my eyes, until Edward put his fingers under my chin and pulled my face up to his. "What, Bella, what is it? You do know that I cannot leave again, don't you?" he asked with the saddest look on his face, "Please, tell me you believe me." I couldn't answer for a few moments, but I gave him a smile, swallowed and answered as truthfully as I could, "I believe everything you tell me Edward, but I also know you and if you think for some reason you are putting me in danger, or that I would be better off without you, I am afraid you could leave again. I have to just hope that nothing happens to drive you away or that I don't bore you so much that you run as fast as you can to save you sanity." I said with a little laugh, trying to lighten the suddenly serious mood.

He got up and walked across the room, I sat up suddenly afraid I had pushed to far. "Edward?" He turned around with the most pained look on his face and just stared at me. He came over to the side of my bed and knelt down beside me. He took my face in his hands and looked deep into my eyes. "Bella" he began, "you think I am so much stronger than I am. I still don't know how I survived being away from you as long as I did. The pain was indescribable. I spent most of the time curled up in a ball in complete agony. I fought everyday not to come back, but eventually I knew I must. I had to see you again. Now, being with you again, there is nothing that would make me leave, please believe this." He wiped my tears away with his thumbs and caressed my cheeks, looking desperately into my eyes. All I could say "I am trying,just know that I don't doubt you, it is just my own stupid insecurities." He kissed my softly, then deeply and passionately, climbing onto the bed, his lips never leaving mine, until he was lying on top of me resting his weight on his elbows so as not to crush me. Of course, I had to push it to far, I held him as tight as I possibly could, kissing him with deeply, running my tongue across his perfect, marble like lips, trying to get so close to him that I was practically inside of him. But of course he pushed away, afraid to cross that line, and laid his head on my chest listening to my rapidly beating heartbeat, while I tried to catch my breath. God, I loved this man. The things he did to me are unbelievable and I knew at the moment, that if he left me again, I would die.

Suddenly, Edward sat up and leaned against my headboard, and pulled me up with him. Wrapping the quilt around me, he held me tightly in his lap with my head resting under his chin against his chest. While placed soft kissed on my head, he said, "Bella, this is my solemn promise to you. I will not leave you again, if I go anywhere, you will be at my side. If there is anything I can say or do to prove to you that this is my promise, just tell and I will do it, until then all I can give you is my word."

There it was. He had left it wide open for me to tell him what he could do to prove to me he would never leave. I knew he wouldn't do it. I was afraid to even say it because I knew what his reaction would be. But when he pulled my face up to his and looked at me with such honesty on his face, it just slipped out of my mouth, "There is something you can do." I said it so softly, I believed I had just thought it, but with his stupid vampire hearing, of course, he heard it. He smiled down at me "Tell me." I looked at him and shook my head, "You won't do it, but it really is the only thing that would let me know you want me forever."

I couldn't look him in the eye, because I knew there was so much he wanted to do for me, to give to me, and I refused, but the one thing I wanted, I knew would hurt him and he would refuse. He rubbed my back and said, "Don't be silly, Bella, if there is something I can do, please tell me." I looked up at him, he eyes were filled with so much love and so much confusion. I knew he was trying to figure out what he could do to prove his words were the truth. I just shook my head, "no, it doesn't matter, I believe you."I stuttered looking down twisting the bottom of his shirt in my hands. He was quiet for awhile, then took my face in his hands and made me look at him."Don't you know you can ask me anything? Please Bella tell me what it is you want or need me to do, to prove my love for you." Of course that way when my stupid emotions reared their ugly presence and tears just flowed from my eyes, he held me tight and whispered "Please, Bella, you are beginning to scared me. What is it?" I tried to control my emotions and stop the tears, drying my face on his shirt. I looked him straight in the eye, took a deep breath, and said "The one thing you can do to prove that you will never leave me again is," I looked into his eyes and whispered the words I knew he would hate to hear "change me."

I knew how he felt about changing me, of making me a vampire, I had tried to talk him into it many times before he left me, but had never mentioned it since his return. He said that it would not happen. That I didn't have a clue what his life was like. That being a monster was not what I wanted. But to me it meant I would have Edward for eternity and that is all I wanted.

He just stared at me, he didn't move or say anything for the longest time. He never changed how he was holding me, never changed his expression, just looked at me. He really had no expression on his face, so I had no clue what he was thinking at that moment. I seemed like we sat there for hours, him never moving, me fidgeting. I was beginning to get really nervous, when he finally said "Your Dad will be home in five minutes, you need to get to sleep." I look at him "What, ...wait...Edward I know you heard what I said." He tucked me back down into quilt, and kissed my forehead and just stated "we will discuss it in the morning, not now, you need to sleep." I was astonished "Do you honestly think I could sleep now, you have to tell me something, you can't just leave it like this." I almost shouted at him. He smirked, yes I swear he smirked at me, kissed me softly and just said "Sleep Bella, and hummed my lullaby, which made me angry, but apparently he knew what he was doing because as much as I fought it I was asleep, before Charlie even came in the front door.

EPOV

I sat in Bella's rocking chair and watched her sleep. One of the great joys of my existence was watching her sleep. The expressions she made, the words she muttered, I love it, I love her. She wanted me to prove I would not leave. She wanted me to change her! I couldn't respond when she said it. I wanted to scream "NO" but I knew that would just make her think I didn't want her, that I would leave again.

We have had this discussion so many times before I left. She thought she wanted to become a monster like I am, but she doesn't understand this life. It is not easy. Always fighting against the nature that we are. She only saw the result of what we wanted humans to see. She never saw the struggle. To constantly be on guard, not to do anything out of the ordinary. To fight to urge to drink human blood, yes, we were strong and dedicated to our lifestyle of surviving on animal blood, but it was always a battle. To never sleep. I missed sleeping. Maybe that is why I loved to watch Bella sleep. To be lost in unconsciousness for just a few hours,would be heaven. I just couldn't subject her to this life...or could I ? If I did change her, it would be for purely selfish reason. To know I could have her forever. To be able to hold her as tightly as I desired, to make love to her..oh just the thought. But no I could not do that to her. To steal her soul was wrong.

We were the damned of the universe. Carlisle does not share my views, he doesn't believe we are doomed to hell, because of what was done to us. He often thought that he had made a mistake, by changing me. He tried not to think about it when I was around, but sometimes when he didn't realize I was close enough to hear his thought, it would slip into his thoughts. I had been dying and he was lonely. He wanted someone he could relate to, not have to hide from, and he chose me. I am not sorry Carlisle saved me or doomed me or whatever. I just don't understand this life, it is very lonely. Or it was before Bella. I just wanted to spend Bella's life with her and when her life was done, I would find a way to end mind, because I cannot live in a world without her. If I changed her I would never be lonely, but it would be so selfish to take so much from her. If she stayed with me through out her life, she will never experience physical love, she is to fragile for us to try, I could kill her if I lost control. She would never experience motherhood. If I stayed with her I would be stealing so much from her. I also know I can never leave her again. There is always the possibility that she will tire of me and move on to someone who could give her the things I could not. It would be undeniably painful, but I would step aside for her happiness.

As soon as I knew Bella was deep into her sleep cycle, I kissed her lightly on her forehead and ran for home. I needed to speak to Carlisle. I needed his opinion. His expertise, his opinion on changing Bella. I knew she would want an answer when she awoke. I was just too torn to decide this alone.

I ran into the house and up to the study, where I knew Carlisle was. He heard me arrive, "come on in, Edward, what is troubling you so?" I didn't know how to begin, but he could tell I had something serious on my mind. He knew me so well. I paced the study for a few minutes, then sat on the couch across from him. He didn't say anything, he knew me well enough to know I would speak when I was ready. Finally, I just blurted it out "Bella wants me to change her. She is afraid I will leave her again and nothing I say seems to convince her that I can't. I don't know what to do? I love her so much and there is nothing I would not do for her, but to change her just seems so wrong. You know us both. So please just tell me your thoughts on this."

Carlisle didn't say anything for a few minutes. I knew he was thinking the situation through. That is how he dealt with everything. He weighed every options in his mind before he spoke. He pulled his chair closer to me and looked me in the eye. "It is obvious to all of us, not just me, how much you love her. I see how she has changed you. I see how happy you are when you are with her. I saw how devastated you were when you made the decision to leave her. Edward I cannot tell you how much it pained me and your family to watch the agony you went through making that decision. How much we missed you while you were gone. Our family was not complete with you gone. I thought it would kill Esme, but we understood your decision and respected it, even if we disagreed with it. The decision to make Bella a permanent member of this family by changing her has to be yours. But since you asked how I feel, I will tell you, but only you can make the final decision."

He looked like he wasn't sure he wanted to tell me his thoughts, but then leaned forward and took my hands in his "You are my son, Edward, in every way that matters and I have loved you since day one. I have often thought I was wrong to bring you to this life, but I cannot reverse things. I have watched you over the decades, I have seen how you have suffered in this life. Never sure where you fit in, what your place was in this world. You have brought so much happiness to my life and to Esme. You are a joy to your brothers and sisters. But with all that said, I have never seen you happy until you met Bella. She brought you to life son. There is a light in you eyes when you are with her. There is love in your very being now. I know, and you know that you cannot live without her. You tried and you failed miserably, as did she. She is your destiny." he sighed and looked at me unsure whether to go on, I nodded my head at him and said "please, continue."

"You are asking me, should you change her. This is how I feel and I can say with a certainty that the rest of the family feels the same. You have decided not to live without her. I think it is very important to experience every aspect of love. You have experienced the emotional side but not the physical side. Eventually, Bella will die if you don't change her, and I know what that will do to you. Edward, I truly believe, for both you and Bella to be happy, and experience love completely, the way it should be experienced , I believe you should change her. Bella is a very intelligent girl, she is not asking you this on a whim. I think she knows a lot more of our life, that you give her credit for. She wants you forever, as you do her, and by having her join us is the only way that you both can have a happy ending. I know you believe you will damning her, but I do not believe that. Look at your family. Do we seem damned? We each have been blessed to find our mate. This is what makes this life bearable. What brings us happiness. Humans do not have it any easier. They too have their demons to battle, but when you have someone at your side to love and help you, it is so much easier." Carlisle stood up and placed his hand on my shoulders, "Edward, Bella is your mate, you two belong together, forever. I know this is not an easy decision for you, and whatever you decide your family will support you. Just let me know if you need my help, I will always be here for you son." I stood and gave my father, for all intents and purposes, a hug. "Thank you Carlisle. I just not sure yet, but you have given me much to think about. I need to get back to Bella, I want to be there when she wakes up." He walked me to the front door, "Edward, you have my support for whatever decision you make. If you decide to have her join us and you need my assistance I will gladly do it. Do not let the fear of killing her contaminate your decision. She can be changed without fear of losing her. This I can promise you. Bella has made her decision, now you must make yours." I nodded my head and ran back to Bella's.

BPOV

The light from the window woke me up. I reached out for Edward, but didn't find him. I sat up, the panic filling my chest. "Edward?" He turned from the window he was looking out and was by my side so quickly I didn't even see him move. He pulled me to his chest. "Ssh, I am right here sweetheart," I took a breath, he was still here. He kissed me "Good morning beautiful, sleep good?" I brushed my hair out of my eyes so I could see him clearly, and answered "yes, I guess I was more tired than I thought, um what time is it anyway?" Edward looked over at the clock and said "a little after ten, you only slept for seven hours, do you want to go back to sleep?" 'No, I am awake now, will you excuse me for a human moment" I smiled up at him. He let me go and pointed the way to the bathroom. I grabbed some clean clothes and went to wash my face, and brush my teeth, I was always afraid of having morning breath. I got dressed and went back to my bedroom, but Edward was gone.

"Edward" I yelled. I heard noise downstairs as he shouted up "down here, come get your breakfast, or would you prefer breakfast in bed." I started downstairs "You know you don't have to cook for me,I can do that myself" I smiled up at him. "you are spoiling me." he sat a plate of pancakes and sausage in front of me and kissed my head, "Spoiling you is my job, get use to it." I hadn't realized how hungry I was until I smelled the food, within minutes I had practically devoured the entire breakfast. It always amazed me how great a cook Edward was.

After I finished eating, I started thinking about last night, Edward still hadn't said anything about what I had said, and I didn't know how to bring it up. I started washing the dishes, after all he cooked, when I felt him put his arms around my waist. "I love you" he whispered in my ear. I smiled, I couldn't turn around and hug him like I wanted to, I was up to my elbows in soapy water, so I leaned back into him and said "I love you too, more than you know." He moved my hair to the back so he could kiss up and down my neck, sending shivers down my spine. I finished the dishes and dried my hands and turned in his arms and put my arms around his neck. "You aren't trying to distract me are you?" He smiled his crooked smile, continued kissing me across my jaw and down my neck and said, "Now whatever would I be distracting you from? Dirty dishes? Just making a unpleasant job more enjoyable." He looked at me and laughed. "Bella why are you always so suspicious?" I looked up at him "because you never said anything about my request last night." He kissed my lips gently, took my hands in his and said "I have thought a lot about what you said. I want to go to our meadow, and we will discuss it there, is that agreeable to you?"suddenly my heart was racing. Was he going to agree, is that why he wanted to go the meadow. It was our special place. I grabbed my jacket off the chair, walked to the door and said "Lets go."

Edward drove to the trail, and next thing I knew we were flying toward the meadow. I love running with Edward. I remember being afraid the first few times we had done this, but now it was heaven. We arrived at the meadow in no time. The sun was shining, such a rarity in Forks, and I turned to Edward and grinned, "Take your shirt off." He looked surprised, "What?" he laughed. "Take your shirt off, I want to see you sparkle." I grinned. He just shook his head, but removed his shirt and leaned back against a tree and motioned for me to join him. I leaned back with my back against his chest and sighed, this was perfect.

We were quiet for awhile, 'our meadow' had that affect on us. It was a special place to us. After a while Edward turned me around and looked at me very seriously, "Do you want to discuss what you asked last night?" I swallowed and just nodded my head. "You know I am against changing you, and you know my reasons, but I have given it a lot of thought. If this is what you truly want, and can accept certain conditions and agree to follow these conditions, I will change you."

A/N Sorry a little cliffhanger! Were you expecting him to say yes! So unlike Edward. Stay tuned for Bella's reaction. And just what are these conditions Edward mentions???

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