Finn and Rachel were an awesome couple, but Finn has to admit that he feels a lot more comfortable jerking off since they split. It was so uncool of him to think things like this while Rachel was his girlfriend. So he relaxes on one of the weird chairs that Kurt put in their room and let's himself picture Rachel standing in one of those little skirts that makes her ass look so sweet. Santana appears beside her wearing only the Cheerios skirt. Finn totally has a thing for skirts. She sinks to her knees and her head disappears under Rachel's skirt. Rachel's legs start to shake and she looks shocked and turned on at once.
Finn's hand is flying and he has the biggest grin on his face. This is, like, way hotter than it looked on the internet. Rachel's eyes are closed and her mouth is opened like she's about to sing. But she's not, because Santana stands up and puts her claws into Rachel's hair before closing her mouth over Rachel's. Oh, yes.
As they make out, Quinn enters the scene, also topless. She bats her lashes at Finn before cupping Santana's boobs and fondling them. Every man's fantasy - his two exes and the fox who took his virginity getting it on. Santana rips her mouth away from Rachel's and her tongue comes out to clean her own sticky, wet and swollen lips. And then they're all coming towards him...but, dammit, he's done!
Finn looks down at his sticky, jizzed up hand and lap. He always does this and, dude, it's so lame. He's always left wondering what would have happened if they got to him. Then he starts wondering if maybe they weren't coming to scratch his eyes out or eat him or something. They did look hungry. Finn's eyebrows create a knot in his forehead. After several minutes dwelling on the mysterious daydream, he figures that it's not worth hurting his brain over and just cleans up.
This jerk off was over.