Chapter 7, where Genis and Sakai duke it out in an hour of octopus-wrangling. Allez Cuisine.
Chapter 7: Tako Confront
Or, When the Iron Chef Screams Like a Girl
挑戦者 }K{ 鉄人
ジーニアス・セイジ VS 坂井 宏行
"Yecch, octopus?!" Lloyd winced, giving Sheena an expression that told the kunoichi that he wouldn't be caught dead eating that.
"Heh, what he said," Zelos added, turning slightly pale. "I went to a place one time where they served raw octopus…I mean, it was cut up, but the stuff was still squirming on the plate in front of me."
Sheena, as usual, was disgusted at the idiot Chosen's remark, but for once didn't feel like slapping him silly. "You know, for once, I actually agree with you…" Heh. And I actually LIKE octopus, too…
Zelos said nothing, much to her surprise; his face froze, maintaining a grotesque expression of disgust.
"Poor Genis," Presea said as she looked at Raine worriedly, "I remember he told me one night that he hoped he wouldn't get a live ingredient as the theme. He looks like he's going to be sick…"
"Well, if it makes you feel any better," began Raine, "Sakai-san doesn't look too healthy either. I think I remember reading an interview with him, and he said something about how he hates octopus…"
Colette's eyes shifted from the tank of octopus to the kitchen floor, where a large man in a tuxedo was interviewing Genis.
"What the heck am I supposed to do with this?" she heard him exclaim, as the man moved away and turned to interview Sakai.
"…man, this stuff gives me the creeps!" was all Colette heard from Sakai as she bent down to retrieve her poster. And honestly, it does that to me too… she thought. Goodness, I thought seeing chefs chop up live eel was bad enough…
Her thoughts were interrupted by Fukui's narration, though she wasn't really paying attention until he reached, "…we are set, let's get it on!"
"ALLEZ CUISINE!" Kaga boomed.
Applause rang out from the challenger's side of the kitchen, the group raucously applauding the beginning of their friend's culinary confrontation. Colette raised her poster of Genis as the youngster bolted up the stairs to the tank, nearly crashing into Sakai on the way up there.
"Bang a gong, we are on," Fukui narrated, "and look at Challenger Sage out of the gate—running up to the ingredient stand, while Sakai's taking considerably more time to get there…"
"Ewww, yuck!" Genis voiced his disgust for the ugly, eight-legged brown creatures squirming around in the tank, hoping to avoid becoming dinner for today. He reluctantly reached into the tank and hesitantly grabbed a leg, only to have it slide right out of his hand and slop right back into the tank.
"Kwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Sakai screamed as he hastily slammed an octopus into his tray, sending it and the octopus crashing to the floor.
"Aw, man, I have to reach in there and get another one?" he groaned, quickly slamming both octopus and tray back onto the ingredient stand before reaching into the tank again. "This is just not my day…"
Back in the Royal Box, Lloyd and Sheena had their heads buried in each other's shoulders, laughing hysterically at the two chefs' apparent squeamishness.
"Man, I mean, I know Genis is practically paddling upstream when working with live ingredients, but that is just TOO funny…" Lloyd giggled.
"Hehe, you should see how much trouble Sakai-san is having up there," she said between laughs, pointing to the Iron Chef.
"Hahahaha! Man, he looks like he's gonna—"
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! It's getting away!" Sakai screamed. An octopus wriggled free from his hands, slid off the ingredient stand, and slopped onto the stairs, where it was appearing to slowly ooze down them. Grunting in frustration, he picked up the tray, two octopi in tow, and ran down the stairs back to his side of the kitchen.
"No! He's not even going back for that one…" Fukui, upon seeing Sakai ignore the fallen octopus, exclaimed.
"…scream! I knew it!" Lloyd whispered to Sheena before they both erupted in a fit of laughter.
"What the heck is this…?" Sakai whined as he dumped his two octopi into the sink, almost flinching as he reached for one to place onto the cutting board.
Genis retreated to his kitchen with three octopi, which he promptly flung into the sink and shook his hands out in disgust.
Man…did I mention I don't like live ingredients? Especially slimy ones?
He removed one octopus from the sink, laying it onto the cutting board and gesturing to one of his assistants to chop it up. He stole a glance at the two remaining octopi writhing in the sink, made a face, and pulled out a roll of paper and a brush to write out his battle plan.
"Fukui-san!" the large man in the tuxedo interjected.
"From the floor, Shinichiro Ohta, go!"
"When the theme ingredient was revealed, both chefs appeared to be disgusted at the thought of working with octopus—Challenger Sage told me, 'I hate working with live ingredients, and I don't like slimy ones like this one! What the heck am I supposed to do with this?'"
"OK, the challenger a little less than enthusiastic about the theme today—"
"And Fukui-san?"
"Yes?"
"I asked Iron Chef Sakai what HE thought about today's theme, octopus, and he didn't even look at me—he just crossed his arms, made a face, and muttered 'Aw, man, not this again!'"
"Well, maybe that'll explain the screams from earlier; as some of us may recall, Sakai actually lost an octopus battle once before…and it's quite unusual to have BOTH chefs dislike the theme ingredient—hopefully that won't affect the quality of the dishes they turn out today. And now, let's meet our distinguished guests for today's battle; first, we saw the challenger mimic his ritual of writing a menu before a battle just a little while ago: Honorary Iron Chef Japanese Rokusaburo Michiba. Michiba-san, great to have you with us."
"Hi, thanks for having me," Michiba bowed.
"And he's been a guest commentator before, and he fought the very first Iron Chef battle when we started in Japan, Honorary Iron Chef French, Yutaka Ishinabe."
The bearded man grinned as he bowed. "Hi, great to be back."
"And as always, our color-commentator, Dr. Yukio Hattori."
"Always a pleasure," Hattori replied.
"OK, so our theme today is octopus, and I know octopus is used quite often in Japanese cuisine, but Ishinabe-san? What about French cuisine, is octopus used much there?"
"It's actually not that uncommon," Ishinabe began. "It's used quite often in bouillabaisses, along with many other kinds of seafood. Sometimes it's even served straight up—braised, fried, grilled, what have you—and usually marinated beforehand. So it'll be interesting to see what Sakai-san comes up with."
"So that's the Iron Chef for you, there, but what about the challenger? What do we know about his style?" Fukui continued.
"That guy in the silver suit," Zelos whispered to Raine, pointing to Fukui, "he just doesn't stop with the questions, does he?"
"It's called 'educating your audience', Zelos. You might benefit from listening once in your life…" the professor sighed as she brushed him off. She was too busy listening to Ishinabe's mini-lecture on octopus in French cuisine, and perked up her ears as Michiba fielded Fukui's latest question.
"I've been told that the challenger is a self-proclaimed maverick from the land of Sylvarant," Michiba replied, recalling his surprise encounter with the young mage some two weeks earlier. "Much of his style, as I remember hearing, stems from the influences of his home village of Iselia…"
"I wonder if that's just something he made up…" Raine muttered as she watched her little brother scurry around the kitchen, hoping he wouldn't knock one of his assistants over in the process.
"I do not think he is," Presea, who had apparently been eavesdropping on the professor, leaned over and whispered to her. "He told me he ran into Michiba-san two weeks ago, and that is essentially what he told him."
Raine paid her no mind as she continued to observe Genis sautéing octopus in a large frying pan. She didn't even notice Ohta, the large man in the tuxedo, approaching her.
"FIFTEEN MINUTES HAVE ELAPSED," came the time call, and raucous applause erupted from Genis's Royal Box as Colette, after bumping into Sheena to her immediate right, held up her poster.
"All right, fifteen minutes gone already, and Ohta's up in the Royal Box with one of the challenger's supporters, if you're ready, take it away, big fella!"
"Thank you, and I'm here with Raine Sage, the challenger's older sister. Raine-san, what do you think of the battle so far?"
Raine jumped, startled by the man's presence. "Oh! I—uh, well, it's obvious that he's making every effort to put his very soul into his dishes today, but he does that all the time. And I'm just intrigued by the creativity of both competitors today—"
Raine's thoughts were interrupted by a loud boom on Genis's side of the kitchen. The next thing she saw was an octopus flying straight up, out of Genis's sink. It landed onto his cutting board, fully cooked.
"You'll have to excuse me, Raine-san, but I'll have to check this out. Fukui-san, back to you!"
Both sides froze at the sight; the whole octopus, sitting straight up, had a strange card stuck to its head. As Sheena looked at the monitor—which displayed a shot of the card—in front of her, she reached for her sleeve.
What the…dammit, Colette, you klutz!
"What in the world—?" Genis exclaimed, taking a quick look at the octopus before returning to work on the soup he had started. "Somebody cut that up for me! I'll need that right away!" he ordered as he reached for the box of miso Regal gave him before the battle. Hey, as long as I don't have anything to do with it while it's alive, I'm fine with it…thanks for that, Sheena!
"Fukui-san!"
"Whatcha got?"
"About that loud explosion from the challenger's side that produced this fully-cooked whole octopus—the card you saw stuck to its head appears to be a Mizuhoan ofuda! I asked Challenger Sage about it and he just gave me a funny look and continued working—I don't think he has a clue. Back to you."
"A Mizuhoan ofuda—a magic-infused card, for those of you playing along at home—causing the commotion on the challenger's side, wonder if that came from Miss Fujibayashi up there in the Royal Box. Meantime, Iron Chef Sakai looks a bit rattled over there as he continues to work on that cucumber and octopus salad…"
"Do they just go off like that when they hit something?" Lloyd asked Sheena.
"When they're thrown, yeah," she replied. "Looks like Genis doesn't care a bit, though…in fact, doesn't he look more relaxed to you out there?" She pointed at the young mage, who was now smiling as he handled the octopus. A worried expression crossed Lloyd's face as Genis made to flip the mixture currently in his frying pan, but left him quickly as his friend caught it without spilling anything.
"Well, you know Genis," Lloyd replied. "As soon as he gets in the zone, he's as cool as a cucumber."
Sheena grinned. Cool, indeed.
Regal watched Genis intently at kitchen level, the older man's face bearing a pensive stare and a slight grin as Genis scooped a heaping dollop of the miso and threw several sheets of the konbu he gave him into a steaming pot full of noodles and very hot water.
This, this young boy I see in front of me…this is the young kitchen prodigy I know. Relaxed, efficient, and masterful all lumped into one human being.
"Where's that Pyre Seal Octopus? Slice up the tentacles and bring 'em to me!" Genis barked.
Pyre Seal Octopus? Regal thought. Makes sense, I suppose, given that it was Sheena's ofuda after all…
The blue-haired man continued to watch the young silver-haired prodigy as the clock ticked away.
"FIFTEEN MINUTES TO GO," came the time call.
He saw Genis work furiously on a mixture of sugar, milk, fresh cream, and vanilla extract—surely a dessert, almost certainly an ice cream that he always did so well. Genis ordering his assistants to fire up the ice cream machine confirmed his thoughts, which puzzled the older man.
And then came something he was not expecting at all.
The young mage took a bowl of octopus ink that he had previously extracted and dumped its contents into the ice cream base he worked on earlier.
"Has he lost his mind?" Regal heard Fukui wail as Genis poured the bizarre, grey-colored mixture into the ice cream machine. "I know we've seen some weird stuff come out of the Kitchen Stadium ice cream machine before, but this is ridiculous!"
And just when I thought red bell pepper ice cream was bizarre enough… Regal thought, remembering the dessert Genis had served them that night he offered him the chance to battle here. He looked up to the Royal Box; Fukui's sentiments had carried over to the group.
Presea doesn't look fazed…but that doesn't surprise me…
"Octopus ink ice cream? Has he lost his mind?" Presea heard Fukui lament. She turned to the rest of the group, all of whom grimaced at the mixture being poured into the machine.
"It's not a matter of DID he lose his mind, but rather WHEN did he lose it…" she heard Lloyd mutter as he turned pale.
"Jeez, Raine, did you teach him that one?" Zelos shouted.
"Has Genis always been this creative?" she asked Raine, who ignored the red-haired Chosen.
"I don't think 'creative' is the right word for what he's doing now…maybe Lloyd's right, WHEN did he lose his mind?"
"ONE MINUTE TO GO," came the time call and raucous applause from the group. Colette raised her poster once again.
"OK! Whatever's not plated, plate it now! Niflheim Noodles go in the soup, Pyre Seal Octopus slices in there too! Where's that pasta, folks? Don't worry about the paella, it's done, we'll plate it at tasting! And leave the ice cream to me!"
Presea grinned, despite mentally grimacing at the thought of the octopus ink ice cream. Genis sounded totally in control in the last few minutes of the battle.
"THIRTY SECONDS TO GO."
She watched him dreamily as he pulled the hardened ice cream out of the machine, scooped it into the glasses he took out, and stuck the fried octopus fritter on top.
"FIFTEEN SECONDS TO GO."
I hope he lets me taste these dishes one of these days… Presea thought as the applause rose to a roar.
"TEN SECONDS TO GO."
Genis scanned his four dishes, beaming proudly.
"FIVE SECONDS."
"Great work, everyone!" he called as the clock ticked down.
"THREE."
"TWO."
"ONE."
"And THAT'S IT! The cooking's done, the Octopus Battle is OVAH!" Fukui bellowed as the gong rang out and the applause exploded from both sides of the kitchen.
Genis wiped the sweat from his brow. The hour went by very quickly, but he was exhausted. Ohta immediately ran up to him and stuck a microphone in his face.
"That was an amazing battle! How was the hour?"
"Ah—um, well, it was very fast. And very tiring," the young mage panted as he reached for some water.
"Did you accomplish everything you wanted to?"
"Ah…" Genis paused, thinking back to his list, "…well, I didn't really focus much on presentation, so I wish I did that a little better, and I hope they taste good…"
"What are your chances of winning today?"
Genis blinked. "Well…we'll leave that one to the judges."
How does our hero fare? Tasting and judgement, next!