Last night was the first time I dreamed about Edward Cullen.
I'm standing on the stage of a huge concert hall. From the stage, I see ivory colored walls with gold embellishments on high ceiling and trim, inside a grand oval shaped house. Behind me, Edward is sitting at a black grand piano to my right, looking dashingly handsome in a tuxedo. He isn't wearing his sun glasses, and I can see the color of his bright green eyes looking at me with a soft and comforting expression. Then I look down at myself. I'm dressed in a gold strapless floor length gown, that has beading all the way down to the floor. When I look up, there's a full house watching me, with hundreds of eyes waiting in anticipation for both of us to perform... something... but I don't know what. I turn my head in a panic to see Edward, he is smiling a crooked grin waiting for me to cue him in. Just looking at him instantly calms my nerves, and I take a deep breath, then exhale as he begin the opening chords to a recitative that I know like the back of my hand.
Ah, they want "Come scoglio" from Mozart's Cosi fan tutti... thank God, I know that one. The poetry of this aria speaks to me in an entirely different way now that Edward is in my life, and has come to mean so much to me. I think in my head the translation as I sing the lyrics of Mozart's masterpiece:
Come scoglio immoto resta...
Like a rock standing impervious...
Contro i venti e la tempesta,
To the winds and tempest,
Così ognor quest'alma è forte...
So stands my heart ever stong...
Nella fede e nell'amor.
In faith and in love.
We perform beautifully together; one mind, one body, one voice. As we reach the final measures of the aria, I sustain my last note with strength and power. Edward completes the fortissimo accompaniment with confidence and gusto. Once the last chord of the piano is silent, the audience roars with applause and appreciation. The smile on Edward's face is proud and ecstatic as he stands to make his way toward me. I meet him half way, grabbing his hands and bringing him with me to center stage for our bows. As a team... as a pair.
We bow together, then Edward steps back and allows me to take my final bow alone. When I curtsey and bow my head in appreciation, the audience stands, and the decibel level rises with their loud cheers and bravos. I stand up and look for Edward, because he is the only one that would make this moment complete, and I couldn't have done this without him. But he's not behind me anymore. I look for him and finally see that he's off stage, watching me from the wings. As if a magnet is pulling me forward, I start to run to him. The distance between us is uncomfortably far... but as I get closer, his smile drops. Suddenly he raises his palm face out to me, and with a scared expression on his face, he shouts, "BELLA, DON'T!"
I gasp as I jolt awake from my deep sleep.
What was that about?
My heart is pounding inside my chest, and I can't seem to catch my breath. Alice bursts into the bedroom, as my breathing starts to slow down.
"Rise and shine, sleeping beauty! Orientation Day! You have one hour before we need to high-tail it out of here. Emmett already left because the MTs met early this morning... the poor dears." She sounds less than sympathetic.
I chuckle to myself, "The admissions office must be smart to make them come at 7 AM, when all of them are too sleepy to be hyper and full of energy."
Alice thinks to herself, "You know, that's a good point. And I thought it was because they understood that us music majors needed our beauty sleep more than they do, or there will be hell to pay!"
"That too. But not you and Rosalie. You both have enough beauty to spare for the rest of us mere mortals."
"You're too kind, Bells... but don't ever say that about yourself again! Now up, up, up!" Alice prances out of the room into the hallway passing by Jasper, who's medium length hair is all discombobulated and in his eyes. He looks inside our bedroom, leaning against the door frame while stretching.
She is way too chipper for eight o'clock in the morning.
"She's not as bad as my father's wake up calls."
Did I say that out loud?
"My dad gets out the cup of ice water if we're not out of bed on time."
"That sounds cruel." I shiver just thinking about it, stretching while getting out of bed.
"Yeah, but it gets the job done the first time, and every time after that too. 'Cause after he does it to you once, you'll never want to have it done to you again."
I laugh out loud just as Rosalie brushes past Jasper, mumbling a "g'morning," while heading into the bathroom quietly shutting the door behind her.
Looks like I'm last to use the bathroom today. Early bird catches the worm when you're living with four other people. Sigh, I better start making food.
"I'll start making breakfast if you want to shower, Jazz. How do pancakes sound?"
"Amazing. I'll be ready in ten minutes."
"I love pancakes!" Alice yells from the living room making Jasper laugh to himself. He shuffles his feet to the front bathroom and closes the door. I finally drag myself to the kitchen as Alice bounces around the living room getting all her things inside her designer purse, which apparently she's using as a school bag.
I wouldn't be caught dead bringing a designer purse to school, but that's Alice.
I smile as I pass her quietly and open the refrigerator to grab ingredients.
As I'm cooking breakfast, I think about how I spent the rest of my time with Edward yesterday. He is now officially my best friend in Boston, next to Alice of course. As I replay his words over again in my mind, I realize from the moment we said hello he was very affectionate with me. It also increased as the day went on. But he never made me feel uncomfortable. While I helped him get around the city holding his arm, he found small ways to touch other parts of me, or stroke my hand. It continued even after we picked up his cane from his apartment. Like he was as drawn to me as I was to him. It gave me confidence that my feelings for him are hopefully reciprocated and not unrequited.
He had insisted I answer all the questions I had asked him on our way to meet Alice. I remembered the questions in random order, so I told him first about my parents. We didn't have time for all of my family history, so I told it in a nutshell.
Rene and Charlie met very young and fell in love. They had me immediately nine months after they wed. My father Charlie got offered a job as the chief of police in Forks and moved us all to Washington. Charlie adjusted well and fell in love with the trees, wildlife, and the fishing. Rene, on the other hand, did not. So after only one year, she took me and packed her things and moved us to Arizona, where the sun shines at least 300 days out of the year, instead of Forks where the sun comes out whenever the rain feels like taking a break.
I moved in with Charlie when I was seventeen; Rene had married Phil and so I moved to give them space. Then they moved to Jacksonville, FL. I stayed with Charlie for the remainder of high school, then I moved to Seattle to attend UW for my undergrad in vocal performance.
"There now you're all caught up on my family history."
"And what about past relationships?" His left arm is linked with mine as his cane is folded under his arm on the right.
"Uh..." He nudged my side a bit to encourage me, and I groaned while covering my face.
"Come on. I told you about mine... it's your turn. How many relationships have you had?" He then stops for a moment, and looks at me curiously, "Wait, are you in a relationship right now?"
"What makes you think that?"
"It just occurred to me I never asked you before. We never spoke about anything personal up to now, remember? So are you?"
"No. Not anymore."
"What happened?"
"It's complicated..." Edwards continues to look at me, raising his eyebrows expectantly.
He's not going to let this go.
I sigh and look up at him, pleading needlessly with my eyes, "Could we save this question for a different day? It's kind of a downer... if you know what I mean."
Edward gives me a knowing look, because I just used the same scape goat he used on me earlier today at Woody's. I just need more time to explain to him the story about Jacob Black. Our time, unfortunately, is quickly coming to an end. I see the dreaded entrance to the Prudential center as we stand by the beautiful but ginormous Christian Science Temple on Massachusetts Avenue. The subject of Jacob is still sore with me, and I prefer to not dampen the wonderful afternoon Edward and I spent together.
"I see." Edward bows his head, looking down... as though something was troubling him. When I squeeze his arm to see if he's alright, he removes his arm from mine.
His gesture confuses me and my chest immediately burns with worry thinking I've upset him. The electric current is still buzzing between us, even when he steps away from me. I realize my worry is for naught, when he circles his arm around my shoulders pulling me closer to his body than before. His action surprises me, except I feel relieved knowing he's not pulling away from me, but holding on tighter.
As I'm mixing the batter for pancakes, I question whether or not I made the right choice to not tell Edward about Jacob right away. I'm also hoping I'm not misreading the signals he gave me yesterday.
I'm even dreaming about him now. A dream which is quickly disappearing from my short term memory. The details are becoming hazy... I remember Edward looking worried because... for some reason... but I don't understand why.
Just then, my cell phone rings loudly from the bedroom. I quickly leave the kitchen to go find it, asking Alice to watch the stove and flip the pancakes for me. She worriedly calls out,
"How do I know when they're pancakes?"
"You'll know when they look like pancakes, silly! When all the batter is dried up. Where's my phone?"
"It's charging on wall by my bed. It was dead so I plugged it in for you! We're going to need an extension cord."
"Found it!" I reach for the phone when it's almost about to go to voicemail, and answer it out of breath. "Hello?"
"Good morning, gorgeous. Did you just come back from a jog?"
"No... searching for my cell. Alice moved it."
"Ah. Are you all rested and ready for orientation?"
"Indeed. You caught me in the middle of making pancakes. Hold on, I need to get back before Alice burns them all."
Edward chuckles on the phone as I hear Alice from the kitchen, "I am not!"
"You know I think Alice might have better hearing than you, Edward."
"Impossible. My hearing would top hers by at least 20%, no less."
I walk into the kitchen and see Alice looking underneath one of the pancakes on the pan with a spatula."Wait, what color are they supposed to be?"
"Golden brown. I'll take over from here. Thanks."
"Is that Edward on the phone?"
"Yes... why—"
"Good! I need to speak to him really fast. Be right back." She grabs the phone from my hand and steps outside into the hallway, before I have a chance to protest.
"Edward! It was so great meeting you yesterday! Oh, she's still cooking, I only need to borrow you for a sec—" she closes the door behind her, and I can't hear the rest of the conversation. Just then Rosalie steps into the kitchen and sits at the counter on a bar stool.
"Pancakes?"
"Yep. Would you like some?"
"Yes, please." I nod my head and continue pouring batter on the pan. "Thank you, for cooking Bella." I nod my head meaning 'no problem' and look down at the pan. Rosalie clears her throat lightly and stretches her arms forward on the counter, "I'm sorry."
I look up at her surprised. "For what?"
"For being a bitch. I don't mean to... it's just. I'm not good with strangers. I've been on edge lately, but it has nothing to do with you guys. Lots of shit has happened to me, and... I didn't really want to go here in the first place. I was supposed to go to UCLA. Jasper convinced me to come here, instead. I know he said that so he could keep an eye one me. It's pissing me off how much he and my parents suffocate me."
"He loves you... and it shows. I know he's concerned about you. We all are. If you ever need to talk, I'll be happy to listen."
"I appreciate the offer, but... I'm going to give this a shot and if it works out then...we'll see. I'm going to try to be more nice from now on. I hope we can be friends."
"I would like that very much, Rosalie."
"Where's Al—"
Right on cue, Alice bursts into the apartment, squealing a very high pitch. "That boy is so head over heels for you, Bella!"
"Alice, is he still on the phone?"
"Oh, yes... here you go." She hands me the phone nonchalantly, and now my face is burning hotter than the stove.
Oh my God he heard her... all of Massachusetts heard her!
I take the phone from her and sheepishly say, "Edward?" I hear his melodic accent on the other side of the line.
"Your roommate is definitely a soprano. Was that a high D she just hit?"
"It sounded higher from where I'm standing. I don't have a phone to protect my hearing. I'm sorry about what she said... she—"
"Bella, it's okay. She just invited me over to your place on September 1st... some kind of bonding day you're all doing, or something?"
"Yeah, but what she and Rosalie don't know is that the boys and I have turned it into a Star Wars marathon day." Rosalie looks excited, while Alice looks appalled and groans out loud.
"NO! That will take up the entire day! It will ruin all my plans!"
Rosalie assures Alice, "Star Wars isn't epic long. It will take six hours tops. We can watch all the films in the evening around dinner, and stay up till mid night. That leaves the rest of the day for you to torture us with whatever else you have planned."
Alice thinks about it for a millisecond then sing-songs, "I can work with that! But I will need loads of alcohol to get me through all three movies."
"Me too." Edward says over the phone and I giggle because of his whinny tone of voice.
"You don't like Star Wars?" Rosalie gasps and Alice fist pumps. I put Edward on speaker phone so everyone can hear his explanation. "Why?"
"I do like Star Wars. Though sometimes it's a little difficult for me to imagine what some of the characters look like. A giant talking man dog, a large fat slug with sexy dancing slaves on a chain... yes, alcohol definitely helps." All of us girls are laughing out loud and Edwards asks mockingly upset if he's on speaker phone.
"You're not anymore. I just wanted the girls to hear your explanation, and it was worth it. So there definitely will be alcohol, and it will be a long day if Alice is planning it. But you can spend the night here on the sofa if you like. The first is this Saturday, so there's no need to get up early the next morning."
Edward is silent on the phone for a moment, and Alice and Rose are listening in on our conversation so the whole room is dead silent. Then Edward says softly,
"Is it okay if Harry spends the night too?"
I smile, feeling relieved, then I ask the girls if anyone is allergic to dogs. They both shake their heads "no."
"Of course. Please bring Harry with you. I'm sure Emmett will love to meet him."
"Great. Now there was a reason I called."
"Oh, what's that?"
"I got cheated yesterday."
That startles me, so I quickly say, "What do you mean?"
"Most of the questions you asked related to Boston, and you had only been in Boston less than three days, including your audition... so there was no way for you to answer your own questions. I got swindled!"
I burst out laughing because I realize another thing too, "That's not all. I think I only asked you four questions, not five. I thought about it when I got home yesterday. I only had time to answer two before we said goodbye... but we didn't count the first question I asked you at Woody's, remember? When I asked where Harry was!"
He mockingly sounds offended, "That's right! You're a little cheat!"
"You didn't remember, either!" I complain in a mocking defensive tone.
His voice turns into liquid sex the next moment, as he whispers, "Yes, well I know how you can make it up to me."
I'm trying to keep myself from convulsing with giddiness. "How?"
"Have lunch with me today, and this time when we ask questions, we answer them right after the other person. That will save us from more confusion."
"I think I can manage to sneak away from Alice for a while. What time and where should I meet you?"
"Let's meet at the Counterpoint Cafe in the student center, at 12:45 PM."
"It sounds like you knew exactly when my orientation break is today."
"You should know, I have connections everywhere, Bella. See you soon, and have a pleasant morning."
"Same to you." I casually say on the phone, while my insides are doing the cha-cha.
He hangs up the phone, and I'm left shaking my head and smiling from ear to ear. I turn off the stove and place the pancakes onto four different plates, taking the syrup out from the fridge. I look up and see that Alice and Rosalie are watching my every move.
"What?"
"You're in love." Alice says matter of factually.
"What? No, he's just a friend."
"Don't worry. He's head over heels for you too."
"You're crazy."
"I concur with Alice. No one has a smile that large after getting off the phone with just a friend. Admit it. You like him."
"Alright, fine. I like him. But I'm not in love with him. I only met the guy twice. We mainly just spoke on the phone for a few months."
"Once is all it takes for some people."
"You've been reading too many fairy tales and romance novels, Alice. Here, stuff your face with some pancakes."
Rosalie grabs a pancake and put it into Alice's protesting mouth. Rosalie starts laughing, so Alice grabs a pancake and stuffs it into her mouth. I grab the syrup as my weapon of choice, "If you both don't stop, things are about to get sticky around here!" We're all laughing as Jasper walks into the kitchen.
"If you're going to have a food fight children, could you leave my pancakes out of it, please? I'm starved. Don't you have to get ready, Bella?"
"Shit, how much time do I have?"
Jasper looks at his watch, "Fifteen minutes. The T arrives at nine fifteen so we should leave in twenty. Better get a move on."
I grab one pancake, shove it into my mouth, then rush to the bedroom. I grab my clothes and toiletries, bolt into a cold shower, and finish in five minutes. I brush my teeth and get dressed, then finally put some mascara and lip gloss on. I'm out of the bathroom and ready to leave in twelve minutes.
"Holy shit, I wish every girl got ready as fast as you! That was record time!"
"Bella, your shirt's inside out."
I look down and see that Alice is right. So I turn around and take it off quickly, not caring that Jasper is in the same room. I've had to do quick changes backstage loads of times. It's no big deal to me. But like a gentleman, Jasper flips around just in time for me to take it off and put it back on.
"Okay, all set! Let's get out of here!" I packed my bag and things last night and placed them by the front door. I pick up my bag, then we all make our way down the many flights of stairs to the street, and walk five minutes to the T. We make it to campus with twenty minutes to spare.
The morning passes by very slowly. It seems like every administrator wants to welcome us first year music grad students individually. It takes an hour to finish everyone's speech. I'm mainly looking around the room at all the new faces I'm going to be working with for the next two years.
It's a little intimidating seeing the age ranges of the students. They start at 21 and go to 36... and I'm somewhere in between. I see along the wall, Tanya is standing behind a long line of boxes filled with orientation packets smiling and waving back at me.
The packets include our class schedules, a pre-ordered Charlie Pass for the T, our admission records, and to-do list to make sure everything is in order before the first day of classes. Finally, at the bottom inside a plastic container are some random objects: a small blow-up pillow, a sleeping mask, ear plugs, a packet of peanuts, and a separate squishy musical note.
How thoughtful, they raided an American Airlines cart to give us welcoming gifts.
Edward and I are eating our delicious Italian sub sandwiches from The Counterpoint Cafe, run by a cheerful looking man, whom Edward introduced to me earlier as Jason Jenks. But everyone calls him Jay.
"So what did they give as gifts for this year's orientation?" I tell him the objects inside the packet, and he barks out a laugh, saying last year they all got material shopping bags donated from Whole Foods.
"Well that would have been so much more useful. It would also give the message to shop smart and recycle. This year they're not so subtly telling us we are henceforth saying goodbye to sleep for the next two years, and welcoming stress into our lives. But thank God, we now have a sleep mask, ear plugs, and a blow-up pillow to take power naps." Edward is chuckling as he takes another bite of his sandwich.
"And of course they hope we will take out our anger on the poor squishy golden eighth note they gave us, instead of on the faculty here. The message has been received." I take a bite of my sandwich as Edward is cracking up while trying to swallow.
"You are too much Bella Swan. I can see I'm going to need the Heimlich maneuver at some point when I go out to eat with you."
"I'm sorry. I'll shut up."
"Oh, please don't. It's one of the reasons I enjoy your company. You have such a way with expressing yourself, and you do it so naturally. It's no wonder men follow you wherever you go."
"Excuse me? I have stalkers now? Who informed you of this, and do I need to hire a bodyguard?"
"What about needing a bodyguard?" I look up and see Emmett now standing next to our table, with a smirk on his face. "If this guy is giving you trouble, Bells, just say the word." He makes a fist and slaps it into his open hand.
"That won't be necessary, Emmett. Thank you."
"Ah, yes. Emmett. You're other roommate." Edward stands up and holding his hand out to where he heard Emmett's voice. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Edward, a good friend of Bella's." Emmett shakes his hand firmly.
"You got some strength on you there, Eddie, for a blind guy."
"Emmett! I'm so sorry, Edward. Emmett seems to have been born without a filter!" I slap him on the shoulder.
"Ow, Bells." Emmett rubs his shoulder where I hit him as Edward sits back down, "Sorry, man. I meant it as a compliment."
"No offense taken. I look forward to Star Wars night with you lot."
"You're coming too? That's righteous! The more testosterone the merrier. Although, I think Bells evens out the pack, being a tomboy and all. Is it true that Rose, the ice queen, likes Star Wars too?"
"She does Emmett. But I'd be careful about what you say around here. The walls have ears."
"What do you mean?"
"So I'm an ICE QUEEN, AM I?"
"Uh, oh." Emmett turns around to see a stormy faced Rosalie holding her flute case in her hand like a weapon. Next to her are Alice and Jasper, looking more than a little afraid for Emmett.
"I think that's my exit cue. The Arctic winds are blowing." Emmett scurries out of the student center, while Rosalie calls after him.
"Run away, you pussy! I know where you live!"
The student center breaks out into an applause for the impromptu show they just received during lunch time. Then Edwards' phone starts to play a Tchaikovsky ringtone.
"Hey Mum..." He listens for a long pause, the his expression turns from happy to upset in a split second, "Why did you choose one without me? That isn't how things are done. You should have talked to me first. I know that! Yes, he's fine. He's right here, having lunch with Bella and me. I just can't believe you went behind my back like that... I told you I would handle it. And now, he's going to feel useless and thrown away— I—I know that!" He puts his hand in his hair and bows his head, speaking more calmly. "Fine... Fine... Bye."
He hangs up the phone and looks flustered and distraught. Edward runs his fingers through his hair several times, then slams his hand on the table grunting. He looks over to his side, and pats Harry on the head while placing his forehead in his left palm.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"I'm sorry Bella, but I have to cut our lunch short."
"No, please don't worry. If you have to go... I just hope everything is alright."
"I have to go to my parents' house for tea in two hours. Then—" He runs his fingers through his hair, then looks up abruptly at me. "Would... do you have plans later? What time do you finish here?"
"Around 2pm, why?"
"Could you come with me to meet someone at my house... my parents house? It might help me if I had... a friend with me."
"Of course I will. But... who are we meeting?"
"Sam... my new dog."