I spent the next few months lifeless. I would be like a robot during the day, and come home crying and fall asleep that way night after night. The day I graduated was the worst of all, though. Frank had promised. He had promised me that we would walk down to get our diplomas together. He promised that we would look stupid in those red robes together. He promised that we'd mention each other in our speeches, and that we'd sit back down together. He let those promises turn into lies.
I can't even explain the suffering I went through. I felt like crying almost all the time. I started cutting again; which was the only thing that helped me feel better. I felt as if everything was in black and white, because Frank was the only thing that really brought color into my life.
I eventually got around to getting a job at the local Starbucks because I couldn't afford college just yet. Since I was the new girl there, my boss told a man that he had to help me figure things out.
"Hi, I'm Gerard." He smiled with his cute little baby teeth, reaching out to shake my hand.
"I'm Jackie." I smiled back and took his hand.
He had a pinched nose, and adorable puffy cheeks. He had thick eyelashes and his hair was pushed back and dyed black. He had pretty thick eyebrows, flawless lips, and a perfect face shape. He was definitely handsome. He was pale and the tiniest bit thin, but he still had some meat on him.
"Well it's nice to meet you, Jackie." The way he said it made my stomach flutter. He was definitely a flirt.
It took some time and a lot of patience to teach me all of the ropes for how to use things and how to mix the right amount of ingredients. It was finally the last day of training, and I was pretty excited that soon I'd be able to work and do stuff on my own.
"Now just pour this into here like this." He demonstrated with his smoothie, and the liquid slid perfectly into his cup.
I tried to do the same but accidentally tipped the cup with the blender, spilling it all over my shirt. He laughed happily. It was like a repetitive giggle. I laughed at his laugh, and soon we just kept laughing and couldn't stop. Every time we looked at each other we would laugh harder.
"What are you laughing at?" I got out between harsh breaths. My sides hurt.
"You're such a klutz!" He laughed some more.
"Oh so you want some of this?" I asked, tackling him with a hug.
"Stop!" He laughed harder, trying to push me away but I was too busy smothering the smoothie on him, too.
He took his smoothie cup and poured it on top of my head.
"Gerard!" I exclaimed, slapping him on the arm. By the time we finished cleaning everything up it was 7:00 P.M.
"Do you wanna come over?" He asked. "We could watch some movies. You know, after you shower so your hair doesn't smell like smoothie anymore." He grinned.
"Shouldn't I get some clothes first?" I asked.
"Naw, you can borrow mine." He stated as if it was obvious. I loved his voice.
He drove me to his apartment. It was huge, and really nice. It was painted a light brown, and the inside walls were tan. The carpets were cream colored, and all of the furniture was in great shape.
Gerard led me up to his room, which had a king-sized bed sitting in the middle of it, and took a white v-neck and some red plaid boxers out of his dresser, handing them to me along with a towel.
I stepped into the shower, making sure it was cold to save him the hot water. The bathroom was impressively clean, especially considering it was owned by a man.
Once I finished and changed into the clothes, brushing my hair with his comb and running my fingers through it afterward, I walked back into his room.
He turned the TV on and had me wait on his couch until he got out. I looked at some pictures that were laying on the tables. He had one of him and a younger boy. He looked about nine, and the boy looked about five or six. They were both brunette and they were hugging each other and smiling.
"That's my little brother, Michael." I wasn't aware Gerard was back, so the sudden voice caused me to jump.
"Oh God you scared me!" I smiled. "That's cute. Do you see him a lot?"
"Yeah, we hang out when we can. We've drifted apart over the past year, though, sadly." He plopped down next to me, casually setting his arm on the back of the couch and crossing his legs.
"Oh. Well he's missing out."
"Naw." He shook his head and smiled, flattered. "I'm the one missing out. He's a great person."
"But so are you."
His face glowed as he looked over at me. "Really?"
"Of course."
"That means a lot, I get picked on all the time. Not very many people like me."
"Well they're missing out."
He smiled again, this time putting his arm around my waist and pulling me into him. My head was resting on his chest while we watched The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It was one of Frank's favorite movies, so I had ended up watching it all the time with him, which resulted in me not being scared. It did, however, make me sad and sent my mind on a spur of memories with Frank. It seemed that every time I thought about Frank, my heart broke all over again.
"What's wrong?" Gerard asked softly, lifting my chin up to face him.
"It's nothing important..." I sighed, lowering my eyes once again.
"If it's upsetting you then it has to be important." His voice and eyes said he cared, so I went out on a limb.
"It's this guy, Frank. He was my best friend for years and years. He found out that I was in love with him and left a while ago. I haven't seen him or talked to him since. I miss him every day and it really tears me up, even still." I rolled my eyes and shook my head, smiling and trying not to cry. The tears came anyway. "It's all just so stupid. I'm sorry for dumping this on you, it's just..."
"No." He spoke softly and held me into him, caressing my long hair.
"What?" I asked.
"Don't be sorry for opening up to me. Ever." He smiled that wise smile he always did, and kissed me softly on the forehead.
She looked surprised when I said it. "Why do you look so shocked?" I pondered aloud, moving stray hair away from her eyes.
"It's just every time I open up, I lose people...That's how I lost Frank." She heightened her gaze to meet my eyes. "But it's different with you."
"A lot of things are different with me." I admitted, not sure whether it was a good thing but knowing it was the truth.
"I can tell." She smiled, the beauty glowing off of her face. Her teeth were bright white and perfectly straight. I got lost in thought wondering if she knew how beautiful she was. "Soo..." She said awkwardly.
"Oh, sorry." I cleared my throat, feeling myself blush.
"You have a cute smile." She told me, setting her hand on my cheek. "And cute cheeks. I mean seriously how did you get so adorable?"
I blushed more. "I'm not."
"But you really are. Why are you so down on yourself?"
"I've been told that I'm worthless all of my life. I guess I just got to believing it."
"Well don't." She leaned over and took my face in her hands, pressing her soft lips against mine.
They tasted like strawberries. And boy did I love those. I took her hips and pulls them against mine, getting more into the kiss. I pushed my tongue through her lips, and she massaged it with hers. She was definitely one of the best kissers I'd ever had, if not the best. I took her onto my lap, going down to her neck and sucking on the skin there. It tasted amazing. She let a quiet moan slip, and it made me smile against her skin. I put my hand up her shirt, cupping her perfectly-sized breast. I used my other hand to grope her firm ass.
"Gerard." She spoke timidly, which caused me to stop immediately and look at her to see what was wrong. "I'm sorry, it's just..."
"It's just what? I'm sorry for whatever I did, are you okay?" I asked.
"I'm a virgin, and I don't want to lose it to someone I've just met..."
"Oh." I said, disbelieving that a girl this stunning could really still be a virgin. "No it's okay. I totally respect that. I'm glad you're a virgin, you're pure." I smiled sincerely.
"Thanks for understanding... and you know; this doesn't mean that we can't kiss." Her mischievous smile went straight to my stomach, and I instantly leaned in to kiss her more.
God did she taste good. I could have done it all night.
After a few minutes of kissing, she pulled away.
"Are you tired?" I asked.
"A little bit." She admitted.
"Then let's go to bed." I took her hand and led her into my room again, then picking her up and laying her on the bed. I killed the light switch and stripped my clothing (aside from my boxers of course), and then laid down next to her. She moved over and cuddled up to me, looking me deep in the eyes.
"Goodnight, beautiful." I gave her a soft, long peck on the forehead and wrapped my arms around her. She fell asleep with her head on my chest.