My nail bit into my thumb, the only sign at how frustrated I was. I wanted to scream and I would have if it wasn't for the fact that the cause of my frustration was sitting right across the café table from me. Why oh why did I ever think this was a good idea? Because I'm a moron of a phan, that's why.

So here I was, suffering for my moment of stupidity in silent agony. Did the object of my frustration notice? Of course not.

"And so I said 'Raoul, it's my wedding too and-"

"Highly interesting, Mademoiselle." I said, cutting her off. "Do tell, where does your family figure into this great affair?"

Alright so that was a low blow. He face crumpled in on itself for a moment before she perked right back up.

"Papa is in heaven with Mama and the Angel of Music."

Umm did she miss the entire plot of the story here? Or is she just a naïve dumbass? I mean, I know she was before but I had hoped she wouldn't be now. For crying out loud she was, what, sixteen? Seventeen? The exact number didn't matter; the point was that she still had the mentality of a five year old.

"If you'll excuse me, Mademoiselle Daae, I must be going."

I thought I had made my escape when a cold hand latched around my wrist. Yeesh, and she claimed Erik was cold to the touch.

"But you can't go home by yourself! You could be mugged. . .or. . .or"

"Don't worry about me. I'm staying with a mutual acquaintance of ours and he would never let harm come to me."

Her eyes widened "You can't mean you are staying with a man while you are unmarried!"

"Are you not staying with the Fo-Vicomte?"

"That's different." She said, a blush working it's way from her hair to her chin. "That's because. . .circumstances being what they are. . .after what we've gone through. . ."

Tsk tsk Christine, what have the two of you been doing? Naughty.

I smirked. "He would never harm me or take advantage of me. He is the perfect gentleman."

"Don't give someone your mind blindly. It's dangerous."

Did she just grow fifteen years older before my eyes? It certainly sounded that way.

"Perhaps," I sniffed haughtily "if you gave someone a chance and heard them out you would understand their reasons for what they've done. Everyone deserves the same chance and trust you give your precious Vicomte, Christine. Everyone."

I wretched my arm away and marched down the street toward home.

"May I call on you some time?" She called from behind me.

I spun to face her again. "No. You do not know where I am residing and therefore cannot call on me. I may call on you sometime in the future."

"I believe we could be the best of friends."

Dear lord. What was I, the new Meg? I didn't want to be her friend. Truth be told I hate Christine Daae with every fiber of my being, if it wasn't obvious already. I would have been just fine never coming into contact with her, but I was doing this for Erik. I had to keep telling myself that, over and over.I'm doing this for Erik. I'm doing this for Erik. I'm doing this for Erik. And I'd kill her for Erik, too, if he wanted.

As caught as I was in my dark thoughts I didn't realize I was home until I inadvertently stepped in the lake. The ice water brought me to my senses instantly and a bit painfully.

"Dammit Erik, this lake's colder than a witch's tit!" I shouted across the lake "Have you ever thought about installing a heater?"

Grumbling all the way, I tip-toed around the shorter (and narrower) side of the lake. It wasn't until I was almost home that I realized what I'd thought were my footsteps echoing was actually someone pounding on the door. Stealth mode didn't seem necessary seeing as whoever was trying to get into the house hadn't even reacted when I'd shouted earlier.

I stayed in the shadows, trying to figure out who this idiot was and what to do with them. The faint glow from his lantern illuminated him just enough that I could see his dark complexion. His dark hair and odd dress was irrelevant because his skin tone gave him away.

"Achmed!"

He started "I believe you have me confused with someone else, Mademoiselle. You should not be down here, it is dangerous."

"Oh, shush! And I know exactly who you are. You're Nadir Khan also known as The Persian. Daroga of something or the other. Muslim, yes?"

"Indeed I am of the Islamic faith."

"Same dif." I waved my hand. "I shall call you Achmed."

I turned my back to him, blocking his view as I stuck the odd key into the hidden lock. Really it was just a very small lock set into a deep groove in the door. I threw the door open and swept an arm toward the entrance.

"You wanted in, didn't you Achmed?"

"Oh, ah, yes. Yes, I did."

He walked into the house hesitantly, as if he expected to be thrown out by his ear. Actually, he probably was thrown out several times before so I can't blame him for being nervous. I didn't think he had anything to fear at the moment; everything seemed to indicated that Erik wasn't even home. Achmed sat down on the extreme edge of the settee, poised to run at any moment. I made a great show of going through the house looking for Erik.

"Well you should be able to relax, Achmed. Erik isn't here which I kind of assumed anyway. Lord knows he wouldn't have let you bang down his front door like that if he were here!"

I chuckled to myself and went about making tea. I wasn't as proficient at the art as Erik but seeing as all I'd ever used was tea bags at home, I think I did fairly well at it. Ached sipped his gingerly before setting it aside.

"To what do we owe this pleasure, Achmed? I must confess I'd hoped you come by soon. I've been dieing to meet you."

"We? I wasn't aware Erik had another, ah, protégée."

"He doesn't, although I believe he is becoming rather fond of me. Don't tell him I said that."

Achmed jumped up in alarm. "Has he taken you, Mademoiselle? Quickly, I will help you to escape while he is not here."

"And did you think, Daroga," a voice drawled from the doorway "that no one is capable of wanting to stay with me?"

Erik stood not ten feet behind the settee his cat-like eyes boring into Achmed's skull. I couldn't tell if he was angry that Achmed was here, that I'd let him in, or a combination of the two.

"Erik! You've been practicing your ninja skills." I idly stirred my tea. "Sit down and be nice, we have a guest."

Erik snorted. "We? Since when has there been a we?"

"Um, since you were stupid enough to let me in the house."

"Are you calling me an idiot?"

"Nooo, just saying that you had a lapse in judgment."

He looked at me blankly before turning his attention back to our guest.

"Nadir-"

"Achmed." I corrected.

Erik rolled his eyes "Very well, Achmed-"

"No, no. It's Auk-med."

"That's what I said."

"No, you said Uck-med. It's Auk-med, auk auk auk auk auk!"

"Oh, ho!" He crossed his arms. "How do you spell it?"

"A. . .C. . .phlegm."

Erik raised a brow before disregarding me in favor for Achmed. I shrugged and left to settle down with a book.

-E-

It seemed like hours later when Erik finally collapsed in the armchair near me. Really, though, it couldn't have been that long; I was only twenty pages or so into my novel. But, I digress.

He ran a hand down the unmasked side of his face and stared blankly into the fire. By the way he was acting I wasn't entirely sure if he realized I was even in the room or not. Erik's normally immaculate suit was rumpled and his sleek hair hung loosely around his ears.

"Erik?"

"Damn that Daroga." He sighed "Every time Christine goes missing he assumes I'm behind it. Normally I am but he must know I haven't see her in months."

"Christine's not missing." I blurted without thinking.

He turned to glare at me, damning me for even uttering her name.

"Oh?"

"I. . .may have seen her earlier when I went out. She seemed just fine to me."

"And where did you go when you went out, Elizabeth?"

Backpedal! Backpedal! "I went out to a café with a girl I met. Am I not entitled to a friend, Erik?"

He sagged back into his chair. That was one thing he couldn't argue with, he couldn't tell control me. I had never been under his power and even though he didn't admit it I knew he was afraid of doing anything too bad. I was here of my own violation and could leave of my own violation, something I know Erik didn't want. I was his first actual house guest, no one else had ever willingly stayed in his company for an extended amount of time. Hell, even Achmed hadn't ever stayed over with him and they'd been friends for years.

So wait, what did that make me? Achmed and Erik were best friends, whether they admitted it or not. Or, dear lord, was that what Achmed had been implying when he called me Erik's protégée? Did Erik see me as an annoyance or as a romantic interest? Hang on a second, why do I even care? All he is to me is a convenient place to stay with ample forms of entertainment and food. Right?

"Elizabeth?"

I blinked, focusing my eyes on his worried expression. I must have zoned out for longer than I thought.

"Hmm?"

"Are you alright? You're paler than me."

I smiled a little at his joke even though I wasn't pleased he was poking fun at himself.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking, you know?"

"What on Earth were you thinking about that frightened you so?"

"Hey Erik," I said brightly "did you ever think of getting a house in the country? It might just give you a tan."

He smiled lightly before frowning into the grate. I swear, that man's mood swings are more unpredictable than a pregnant woman's.

"I do have a small home in the country, actually. I bought it a few years ago."

Ah. That explains the mood swing. He must have bought it for the same reason he bought the wedding dress.

"Have you ever even been there?"

"Not since I bought it, no. I did have it furnished last year but I've yet to stay there."

This gave me a wonderful idea. He had a completely furnished home outside the city, so why not stay there for a bit? I dearly missed the sunshine and gentle breeze and, let's face it, the fresh air couldn't hurt him. How long had he been in this dank home anyway? Ten years? Fifteen? I guess the exact number depended on the version, really.

"Why don't we go stay there Erik? Just for a month or two. The weather must be beautiful! It's what, early August?"

"Today's the last of September."

Christ time flies when you're underground!

"Oh. Now I feel like a dumbass. Allow me to get a dunce cap."

I jumped up to leaver the room while I still had a bit of my dignity. My foot, however, had other plans. My heel caught in the voluminous skirts of the dress I was still wearing, yanking the back of it toward the ground. I gasped and stumbled. The edge of the rug slid away from me, taking my foot with it. A shriek and flying petticoats later I was lying flat on my back.

A small noise started somewhere near my right foot and slowly grew louder. I twisted around and found the source of said noise. Erik was bent over in his chair clutching his sides and laughing hysterically.

"This" I shouted over his musical laughter. "is why I don't wear dresses or heels!"

He laughed all the more when I struggled to my feet. With a huff I stormed from the room to change into something more klutz friendly. Honestly! I thought he was a gentleman and he doesn't even ask if I was alright. I mean, yeah, I would've told him I was fine even thought I'm pretty sure I bruised my tailbone. But still!

After a good bit of private mortification I emerged from my room. Erik was where I left him before the fire, now reading the paper.

"Elizabeth, I think you may be right. We shall go stay in my country home for a bit."

"Oh?" I'd forgotten all about that suggestion.

"We leaver tomorrow."

He finally looked up from the paper and stared at me like I'd grown a second head.

"Are you wearing my pants?"

"Maybe." Well what choice did I have, he wouldn't buy me any.

"Get out of my pants. I never said you could get in my pants."

"But I like to be in your pants."

Yes I did just steal a bit of Jef-fa-fa Dun-HAM's (Jeff Dunham for those of you who are confused) dialogue. I can't help it, I just love that guy. And Peanut. Peanut's amazing. If you don't know who Achmed is you should go youtube him so you understand the running joke.

Also this is what I do instead of pay attention in Physics, I write the old fashioned way. Then again, it's pointless to pay attention because the instructor just stares at us like we're idiots because we can't read her mind.

Last thing, I swear. Are any of you from the Boston area? I'm considering moving out there after college (I'd visit first of course) and was curious.