"Goddamnit, as if we didn't have enough to deal with—" Searcher paused. "Wait. What happened to all the misspellings? I thought we were infected with a virus?"

"Techically a 'vyrus,' sir." Carter consulted her tricorder. "It appears to have been a cheap plot device in order to end the previous chapter with an acceptable amount of tension.

"Blast!" Searcher said. "You mean my eyes were assaulted by that abomination upon the English language for nothing?"

"Afraid so, sir."

"What about the ellipses infestation?"

Carter scanned the immediate area and frowned. "Difficult to say. Can you try an internal monologue?"

Alright, internal…monologue…oh damn, here they…are…again…should probably…stop now…

"Yep, they're still there."

Carter nodded thoughtfully. "In that case I think it's safe to assume that, as innocent of a development as they appear, they will later prove crucial to the plot in an unexpected way. That, or become a lame recurring gag."

"In any case, that takes second place to our primary mission," the captain said. "But don't let me forget about them entirely. Once they spread to dialogue, they're almost impossible to eradicate." She shuddered at the far off memory of a Criminal Intent fic in which everyone had spoken as if they were being possessed by William Shatner.

Couldn't…save them…couldn't stop…the…ellipses, they just kept coming…until, oh God…the characterization collapsed…into a pile of…extraneous…punctuation…

"Sir? Sir?"

Daystar blinked. "What?"

"You've been staring off into space for five minutes. Are you sure you don't want to deal with this first?"

"No, I—wait, that's it! That's how we can incapacitate the Mary Sues guarding the Deus Ex Machina Cargo Bay! We trigger an inner monologue! It's the perfect plan!" She paused! "Damn! Extra exclamation points! A co-occuring infestation!" She took a deep breath! "Okay! I mean, okay. I think I have it under control!—under control, now."

"While we're in there, we should destroy all deus ex machinas dealing with cures! I mean, cures," Carter added helpfully. "And we should cut communications and drain the fuel supply, to lower the chances of a rescue before they are fully incapacitated."

"Good, good. Any other suggestions, guys?" She turned to Quark and Worf, who despite their misleading and uncharacteristic silence during the majority of the chapter, were in fact still in the room.

"WE SHAL FITE WITH HONNER."

"Well, you can," Quark amended. "I'm going to be quite busy over here studying these…figures."

"Quark, give Carter back her shirtless pictures of O'Neill." Over Quark's sputtering denials, Daystar continued: "Alright, Quark and Parody Worf, it'll be your job to distract the Mary Sues and trigger an introspection each time Carter and I carry out the tasks. We'll start with cutting the fuel."

She started out the door, then stopped. "What do we run on, anyway?"

"Like most ships, sir, we run on a combination of imagination and hormones," Carter explained. "However, over time our main engine needs to be supplemented with a steady stream of feedback."

"Was that a subtle fourth-wall-breaking plea for reviews?"

"Nothing subtle about it, sir."