Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but if I did I'd tell all those Edward shippers from lion_lamb on livejournal to take a chill pill! They're all so mean!!! Can nobody voice their own opinion respectfully anymore?

Chapter 7: Learning the Let-Go (Bella's POV)

I couldn't even describe how much of a relief it was that Jake had to go meet up with Sam almost right when we reached the house, after our walk. If I didn't have time alone to be with my thoughts, I just...I might have exploaded!

Running, er, wobbling up the stairs, I went into my room and leaned against the door. "Holy..." I covered my mouth, "I just, I just, kissed Jake." trying to mute my involentary rantings. "He loves me, he loves me, and I kissed him, and he's not Edward, he's Jake!" My breathing became dangerously fast, which I noticed, but couldn't feel the ability to slow.

Oh no. The acheing. Why now? Why now?! My chest shook, and I suddenly was reminded of the hole that scathed my heart. Both of my hands gripped tightly to the area just above it, and I sunk down to the ground, pushing my back against the door.

Is this revenge? I cringed, Are you getting back at me for this? Am I not supposed to be happy?! I kept a hand over my mouth, because I knew if I didn't I would scream at the top of my lungs. It was pure agony what I'd been through for several months, and now that I'm starting to get better, the pain pulses.

Crawling my way across the floor, I looked at my alarm clock and noticed it was nearly six. Would I even be able to get back to sleep? I didn't think so. Maybe, just maybe, a warm shower could help ease me back into breathing.

--

I stayed home all day, rather than go to school. I know Charlie would have been upset if it were because anything else, but for this, he understood.

I wanted to see Jake, but at the same time, I didn't want the same pains coming back, or the embarassment of early this morning. That definitely was not an option. I almost felt like telling him it was all a mistake and I was sorry, even though...I knew he'd never take that. Not after this morning. He was too stubborn to give up that easy.

Time kept trudging by until I heard Charlie's patrol car pull into the driveway. I was sure he'd come in like usual, throw his stuff down, and head for the T.V. Instead, he surprised me by walking right in, grinning all the while. I gave him a peculiar look, "Hi, Dad."

Still grinning, he looked right at me, bluntly proclaimming, "So folks down at the office say they heard from some Quillett kids that you and Jake are finally together."

My eyes widened in shock; had Jake really spilled the beans already?! Then I thought about it: when he was a werewolf, none of his thoughts were private. Of course the truth is out! I just didn't realize it'd be so quickly. And wait, what is the truth? Are Jake and I really together? One side of me wanted that to be the truth, while the other was extremely afraid of it.

I stuttered, "N-not exactly, and why do th-these people even...gossip! It's so annoying!"

He frowned a little bit, "So it was just gossip? There's nothing going on?"

I sighed, raking my hand through my hair, "I don't really know right now, and actually I need to see Jake. Apparently talks are getting out of hand, and assumptions are being made."

Not one more word escaped Charlie's mouth as I grabbed my jacket and ran out towards the car.

--

Even though La Push is at least 30 minutes away, the drive felt like it took 3 seconds. I was too angry despite myself, especially knowing this really wasn't Jake's fault at all. I really think I was just angry with myself; for getting carried away earllier.

Pulling up to his house, I turned off the ignition and hopped out, slamming the hard door. My feet moved quickly across the dirt, I tromped up the stairs, and knocked on the door. I waited; no answer. Sighing, I turned around and headed for the garage, maybe he'd be there? Peering in I didn't see anyone. Both of my hands clenched the fabric of my jacket, as I scrunched my nose and groaned in frusteration.

Suddenly one arm wrapped around my torso, and two warm lips met the flesh on the back of my neck. I should be angry, I should stop him and slap him across the face! I nearly screamed internally. Still, I couldn't. He was my personal sun, and I nearly melted in his grasp.

"J-Jake." I stuttered, unable to think of anything else to say, as he continued to trail soft kisses on the back of my neck.

He giggled lightly, "Took you by surprise? I'm sorry, let me keep making it up to you." then continued.

For a few seconds I felt dazzed, then snapped back into reality. My body tightened and he felt it, releasing me, "Oh fine, spoil my fun." then grinned happily at me. "How are you today?"

I smiled back, noting that the dark circles under his eyes seemed less aparent, and his demeanor was exhuberantly happy. Was this because of me? It couldn't be me, no way. "I'm great, how are you? You seem less tired."

He nodded, "I took the time to take a power nap earlier, after running a few laps around the border with Sam and Quill." one hand snaked around mine, "So what do you want to do today?"

I blushed lightly as a flash-reminder of what happened in the early morning, "I, I uh.." my voice trailed off; why had I come again? Oh, yeah. "I actually came to talk to you about something."

His demeanor changed a little bit, "Oh no, I'm in trouble, aren't I."

I bit my lip, "Well, not in trouble...I just...well, Charlie came home and said that the word of 'us' is all around town. Is that because of the whole thought-reading thing while being a werewolf, thing?"

He sighed, rolling his eyes, "Geeze, no matter how many times I tell them to shut up they all keep howling their mouths off..." he paused, eyeing me, "Yeah, it's from the thoughts. I was gonna try to hide it for you, but y'know, once I phased they could all hear how much I was thinking about you; about how happy I was."

I looked away from his eyes, turning mine to the floor, "Well, I mean, I'm not super mad or anything, I just don't know what to make of it all.." then returned my eyes back to his, "I mean, it all happened too fast. I don't really know what's going on."

His smile was mischevious, but I could see a hint of innocense behind it, "Oh, I know what's going on." He wrapped one large arm around me, pulling me into a tight embrace, "You've confessed that you love me back; You're mine now, Bella Swan."

My mouth gaped open in shock; did he just say what I think he said? It's like I finally realized the truth to the matter. Even though Jacob told me he loved me earlier, and even though I had admitted the fact that, yeah, I did love him back, it didn't hit me till Jake called me his. Now I fully realized; I was dating my own personal sun.

And lordy, he sure was warm. He continued to hug me tightly as I let the reality of it all sink deep into my system. I'm sure he noticed that I was registering it in, because he didn't say anythign else while I thought. Finally I spoke, "I'm dating a werewolf. Holy crap." It came out more monotone than I'd hoped for.

His body shook with laughter, "Yeah, and I'm going out with a bloodsucker's ex -- I'm sure we can both forgive eachother, right?" then lifted my chin so he could meet my gaze.

I nodded lightly, "Yeah, I think so." But how can he forgive me? I continued to think. My brow furrowed, "At least, I mean, I guess so...But Jake, do you even know what you're getting into?"

He nodded, "Yes, I've known for a while now, why?"

I shook my head in disaproval, "I'm damaged goods, Jake. Damaged, used, and tossed to the side. You can do so much better."

I felt a low growl escape his body, "Bella, I don't care about any of that. I want to be there for you, I want to protect you. I want to take care of you and let you have a life worth living; as long as you're up for it, I'm stickin' with you for good!"

My eyes closed, "How can you forgive me though? I just, I don't know if I'll ever understand that."

"There's nothing to forgive...what happened was definitely not your fault." his warm hand trailed across my neck, sending a shudder down my spine.

He felt my back arch, and when I opened my eyes, I saw a smiling werewolf-boy. "What?" I asked, "What's with the face?"

He shrugged lightly, never taking his black eyes away from mine, "Nothin', you're just driving me insane again."

I frowned, "I don't mean to make you that way..." feeling like I'd done something wrong.

He ran his hand against my neck again, sending another shockwave down my spine; for pete's sake, how did he do that?!

"I've just wanted you for a good amount of time," he started, "And now that you're mine, I don't know what to do with myself, or how to restrain myself from you."

I blinked several times, "I uh," pausing to think about that, "I'm...sorry?" unsure of what to say.

He laughed again, "Definitely nothing to be sorry for, " then winked, "Oh, by the way," he took my hand again, "We're having a bonfire in a few hours, wanna stay for it?"

I scratched my head, "I don't know, Jake. All the guys...they'll pick on me, and...it's weird..."

Jake's face drew into the most irrisistable pout I'd ever seen him muster up, as he threw in a few very convincing puppy whimpers. "Oh, Jake..don't do that, don't do that!" My heart sped up as I watched his preformance, awaiting my answer. I frowned lightly, "Fine, I'll stay. But if those guys pick on me..."

He cut me off, picking me up, and slinging me onto his back, as I hung onto his shoulders, "Don't worry, Bells. I'll just kick 'em between the legs if they try anything stupid. Plus, Sam is on my side, so we're covered." He winked, and started trotting back towards the house.

When we came inside, he offered me a cup of coffee. I complied, and he went into the kitchen to start some. Sitting there, I thought about his puppy dog pout again; what was it that made my whole body feel like it was going to collapse right then and there? How did a brush against the back of my neck send shockwaves that wracked my body and mind?

As I searched for the right description, a familiar word popped into my head: dazzle. Jacob Black was dazzling me. It was much different from the way that Edward had dazzled me, as Edward's was always the icy, electric kind that could stop a heart from beating with his very stare. Jacob's was hot like fire, speeding up the heart rate, and keeping things comfortable. Neither one was better, it's just that, Jacob's was a different kind of dazzling.

Oh, you guys. You have no idea how much I appreciate all the reviews you gave me!! I had over 20, I know that much! Wow! Just, amazing! And here I am, the horrible author, not throwing out chapters fast enough. I feel so bad that this one took 3 days...I had no inspiration for it...but finally made myself sit down and write it out. And actually, I kinda like it. :D

I won't demand any reviews for this chapter to give you guys the next chapter because you all did so wonderfully at heaping love on me. I have to tell you, I never expected such kind words. To say that "This is the best Twilight fanfiction I've ever read. Ever." was one of the most amazing. And then the one who sent that huuuuuuuuuuuge review? Yeah, you rule! All of you rule! Omg. I love you. 3

I have to give you some...news though. Since I'm a dual-enrollment student at College, I start my next semester on Monday. I'll be very, very consumed with it. I'll try as much as possible to update as much as possible, but it may be a bit hard...please be patient with me!!! I'm sixteen, in college, with a huge family, house work, and some major health problems going on right now. lol (yes, I'm playing the guilt card, because I'm afraid of you guys hating me for not being quick enough xD).

Please, Review if you can! You brighten my days...:)