Hello again!
This fic is brought to you by my necessity of putting angst in everything I write and also the theme which was "greatest fear"
I've always wondered how the both of them dealt with their murders and how they coped with it, so here's my interpretation of it!
Enjoy!
Roxie jolts up from the bed, her breath caught in her throat, her eyes wide taking in the darkness of the room. She sobs, tears starting to run across her face; she puts a hand over her mouth to keep quiet and not wake Velma, but the brunet's cool voice rings in her ears.
"Bad dream?"
The blonde now realizes Velma is standing by the window; she had failed to notice her figure standing across from her, illuminated slightly by the lights coming from the street below them. The brunet has a cigarette between her fingers, and from this distance, she looks like an illustration from a murder mystery novel. For a moment, Roxie is unable of answering the question; she focuses on her breathing and her sobs, and it takes some moments before she can calm down a little.
When she looks up again Velma is not in the room anymore; she wonders where her partner might be, but then she sees Velma entering the bedroom with a glass of water. She sits down on the bed, and hands the glass to the blonde, who drinks it in large gulps.
"What happened? Wanna tell me?" Velma asks gently, moving some strands of blonde hair away and wiping her forehead. Roxie didn't notice that she was drenched in sweat until now.
"I… Dreamed about…" The blonde starts, but new tears sprout from her eyes and she finds herself unable to say anything else.
"Come here" Velma soothes, taking the empty glass of water from her shaky hands and hugging her shoulders protectively. "I had a bad dream too"
"You… Did?"
"Yeah, about that night at the Onyx… When I got arrested… And… Charlie, and Veronica…" Velma takes a deep breath, trying to untie the knot she has on her throat. "When I dream about them I can't sleep anymore, so I just watch the street and the lights"
Roxie buries herself on Velma's hug, smelling the slight scent of tobacco, her shampoo, and the faint smell of her sweat. She wonders how much Velma tossed and turned before waking up and how she was so absorbed in her own nightmare that she hadn't woke up with the movements beside her.
She trembles when she thinks about her own dream; Fred Casely, shot down and covered in blood in her bedroom floor. The sound of sirens approaching her apartment, the gun in her hand, hot… Burning. She can almost feel the weight of Casely's corpse on her shoulders, she feels powerful and horrible at the same time. She sees in red; she feels death surrounding her as she blacks out and suddenly wakes up. She shakes uncontrollably, holding Velma's waist like her life depended on that.
"I didn't want to kill him… I would never kill anyone! I don't know what I was thinking!" Roxie spurts out without a second thought. It's not that she regretted killing that bastard; it was just…
"No one ever knows how awful killing someone is until you do it" Velma says calmly, like she just had read Roxie's thoughts.
"I think about this all the time" The blonde cries, letting her teardrops fall onto Velma's shoulder. But the brunet quickly pushes her away to look at her straight in the eye. Roxie notices Velma has tears across her own face as well.
"Fred Casely is dead. Thinking about him won't make you go back in time and fix what you've done."
Velma's words are stone cold, her voice is controlled, and for a moment Roxie feels a little broken by the treatment, but she knows the brunet's right, and deep down she's thankful for such a straightforward sentence.
"I guess you're…"
Before Roxie can finish her sentence she's interrupted by Velma's lips crashing against her own; the kiss tastes like tears but she doesn't mind. She knows it's Velma's way of saying she shares the same fear as her, that she felt the weight of death on her shoulders each minute of each day, and that she is the only person who would ever understand her feelings.
"Now sleep; it's late and we have rehearsals tomorrow" Velma finishes, wiping the blonde's tears with her thumbs.
"Okay, Vel"
Roxie spends the rest of the night cuddled up in Velma's arms; this time, there are no nightmares to wake her up.
I love my troubled ladies and I'll protect them from their bad dreams! Ahahaha
Anyway, did you like this little story? Let me know what you think!