Getting close to the end now. Thanks again for all the great reviews, guys! I'm so glad to be able to give you all a good laugh. :D
DISCLAIMER: "Avatar: the Last Airbender" does not belong to me, and neither does the movie, blah blah blah, yep.
ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: I'd just like to say again, to reiterate my earlier point, that despite how mean I am to the movie, to the Movie Characters (especially Katarola), and even to M. Night Shyamalan... This story is totally just for fun. The movie was definitely bad, not just as an adaptation of an awesome show, but as a movie in general. And as an experienced filmmaker, Lord Shyamalan should really, really have known better. But I don't hate him or any of the actors or anything like that. No hate - just good clean sarcastic mockery. That is all. :D
ABOUT THE TALKING FROG: Aw, good guess NikkiTowers! Actually the frog was from another anime series, "Cowboy Bebop" - an episode called "Mushroom Samba" where the characters all accidentally eat some 'special' mushrooms and have some very cactus juice-like experiences, hehe. (If anyone's interested to see the original frog, go to YouTube and search for 'spike talks to a frog' and it'll come up lol)... However, because that was a great guess and I actually forgot about that frog from Avatar, we'll split the cookies! *hands five cookies to Nikki*
PART SEVEN
"In Which Awng Learns His Destiny, and Katara Reveals a Surprisingly Vast Knowledge of Profanity"
…
Katara sat beside a dying fire, glaring.
They were now in another forest, somewhere in the Northern Earth Kingdom. They all knew that it was somewhere in the Northern Earth Kingdom because Aang had accidentally tripped over the caption when they arrived there. Where exactly it was, or why they were there, was all still a little unclear. But, as usual, that didn't seem to matter to the Movie Characters – and, increasingly, the Animated Characters themselves had been giving up trying to rationalize the flow of this movie.
Katara was the only one beside the small campfire at the moment. Suki had decided to go to bed a little early – she'd been coming down with a small cold since chapter five. Sokka had commented that maybe the movie was just so awful it actually made her sick; Suki had not been amused. After she'd gone to bed, Aang and Sokka had wandered off into the forest to explore. They'd expected Katara to come along as well, of course; but she'd told them she simply wasn't in the mood for exploring. When Aang had offered to stay behind with her, she'd urged him to go. She just wanted to be alone for a little while. To brood. And Aang would definitely have distracted her from brooding effectively.
Awng and Katarola were a short distance away, standing beyond the trees on the shore of a placid lake, doing those absurdly pointless little dance movements that they called "Waterbending." Of course, they weren't actually bending any water - that would have just been ridiculous. Katara didn't have any idea where Sockson was, but she didn't really care. At the moment, she was focused on glaring. Glaring at Awng and Katarola, and dwelling on all that had gone so wrong in this movie.
Why had they come into the movie in the first place? Clearly it was a lost cause. The movie was dead – that was all. Sure, it had some little moments – very little. Sure, the scenery was nice. But it was dead, the life completely sucked out of it. Like a wrinkled prune. The Movie Characters were just dopes, wandering around aimlessly, reciting lines because they had to – entirely blank one moment, then absurdly emotional the next. Katara found it hard to believe that that Sockson, Katarola and Awng even liked each other.
She shook her head, frowning. Who could she blame for this disgrace? The Movie Characters? No – they were embarrassing, certainly; but they didn't know any better. They were only pawns.
No. There was only one person Katara could think of to blame.
Lord Shyamalan.
That was it. Every time something illogical or ridiculous happened, the explanation was always "Lord Shyamalan said so." He'd written the script that they all followed so faithfully. He'd tangled the story up into awkward, slow-paced knots. He'd mangled their personalities almost beyond recognition.
Now, now – said a rational voice in Katara's head – Don't get so worked up about it. I'm sure Lord Shyamalan simply didn't know what he was doing. It's not like he did it on purpose.
But Katara clenched her fists and glared. "But he still did it!" she hissed under her breath. "He should have known better!"
She wanted to go home. There was nothing they could do for these people. The movie was done for, hopeless – might as well just go back to the Animated Universe and pretend that all of this never happened.
But there was no going home yet. Not while they were still stuck in this ridiculous fanfic. Katara turned her angry glare vaguely toward the sky, approximately in the direction she imagined the fanfic author might be lurking, watching over them all and laughing maniacally.
"I hope you're amused up there, whoever you are," she muttered bitterly.
Awng and Katarola stood beside the lake, twirling their arms slowly – slowly - in various waving, flowing motions. Breathing. The water in the lake, however, didn't seem to acknowledge that they were there. But that didn't matter – practicing Waterbending didn't necessarily mean actually bending the water, after all. It meant doing a mystical, swirly dance with your arms. And if the water actually went somewhere, well, then that was just a bonus.
That, at least, was the idea of Waterbending that Awng had gathered from Lord Shyamalan. Atmosphere – that's what it was all about. Mood. Not actually learning how to fight or anything like that.
For a sudden moment, though, the live-action Airbender let his eyes wander to the silver surface of the lake, and a fleeting thought passed through his mind: I'm… bored.
Unsettled by this out-of-character moment, he shook himself slightly, and glanced sideways at Katarola.
Unfortunately, glancing at Katarola only seemed to make him slip even more out of character. Ever since Aang had taken him penguin sledding and enlightened him about girls, his mind had been disturbed with all manner of conflicting emotions, ideas… He blushed, and frowned, and forgot what his arms were supposed to be doing. Katarola smiled distantly at him. And then he grinned – grinned – rather stupidly at her.
Katarola frowned.
"Awng," she breathed fervently. "What's wrong? You've really been distracted lately."
"Hm. Oh, I'm okay," Awng furrowed his brow, then smiled again suddenly. "Hey! You know, I, uh… I know a pretty good magic trick! Want to see? Here, give me a quarter – "
"A quarter?" Katarola frowned again, more deeply, and blinked twice as fervently. "Awng – I'm really worried! You – you're just acting really strange!"
"Huh," Awng said pensively. "You think so?"
"Yes!" Katarola nodded earnestly, her dewy eyes bubbling with emotion. "I think I know why you're so distracted…"
"You do?" Awng asked, suddenly a little alarmed.
Katarola nodded again, urgently. "It's because we're so close to that old abandoned Air Temple over there, right? And you want to go visit it, but you're not sure if it's safe. Isn't that it, Awng?"
"Uh…" Awng's eyes darted around nervously. "Sure. That. Yes."
"I'll go talk to Sockson about it after the next abrupt scene cut, okay?" she suggested, smiling again and batting her eyes obliviously at him.
"Okay," Awng shrugged, his own eyes falling to the ground in slight dejection.
"Let's practice some more," Katarola suggested, resuming her dreamy arm-waving motions.
Awng resumed his own stance as well, raising both his arms. Focus, he commanded himself. He began going through the meaningless slow-motion whirling movements again. After a moment Katarola reached over and touched his right hand, bending his wrist slightly. Awng blushed again.
"Awng, keep your wrist bent like it's showing," she instructed him knowledgeably.
Awng stared at her for a moment and did not reply. 'Bent like it's showing'? Does that actually mean something? he wondered briefly. Then he shook himself hastily. Since when did he have sarcastic inner-commentary about the dialogue? What was happening to him?
Aang and Sokka wandered aimlessly through the dense forest, bathed in the blue light of the evening. Crickets chirped around them. Aang was leading the way, his gray eyes scanning the ground pensively.
"I've been thinking," Aang began.
"I'm so proud," Sokka shot back with a smirk.
But Aang just ignored him. "What would you say, so far, are the main things wrong with the movie?"
"Hm. Let's see," Sokka pondered casually, beginning to count on his fingers. "Sockson. Katarola. And Awng. Mostly Sockson… Well, that wasn't too hard to figure out. What else you got? Come on, challenge me."
Aang shook his head, glancing over his shoulder at Sokka. "No, I don't think it's that simple. Think about it, Sokka – the reason they're so annoying and boring is because of the things they say, and the things they do, and the fact that they don't have any idea what they're doing."
"Um. Yes. Exactly. And... your point was?" Sokka raised his eyebrows at the animated Airbender.
"No, don't you get it? The problem isn't with them," Aang concluded. "They're only doing what they're told. They're just following the script, and trying to act without good direction. The real problem is with Lord Shyamalan. Everything seems to lead back to him. Have you noticed that?"
"Hm," Sokka pursed his lips thoughtfully, pausing for a moment. "Well… Yes, I see what you mean. But I'm still not sure what your point is."
"The point is," Aang said, "that I don't think there's anything we can do to fix this movie. At least, we can't do it just by trying to help the characters. We've got to somehow get to the root of the problem."
"So, are you suggesting we find this Lord Shyamalan and kick his butt?" Sokka asked, his eyes lighting up eagerly. "Because, I have no idea how we'd do that – but I'm all for it!"
"No. I don't think that's the answer, either," Aang said quietly, sighing heavily and pushing aside a tree branch in their path.
"Oh, don't tell me you're getting into your mystical, conflicted, I'm-a -peaceful-monk-who-couldn't-even-squish-a-spiderfly talk again?" Sokka grumbled in disappointment.
"It's not that," Aang shook his head. "It's just – well, I'm not sure it's really our place to confront Lord Shyamalan. I mean, no matter how Lord Shyamalan ruined the movie and the Movie Characters, he can't ever take anything away from us. We're all fine just the way we are."
"Yeah, we are pretty great," Sokka grinned with deep satisfaction.
"But, at the same time, I think something does need to be done," Aang went on. "And it needs to be done fast. Before Lord Shyamalan… ugh… tries to make a sequel." Aang shuddered violently at that thought.
Sokka shuddered as well. "Yikes… Well, Aang – what do you suggest, then?"
"I think we've got to convince the Movie Characters to do something about it," Aang declared at last.
"What? Those boneheads?" Sokka scoffed slightly. "What could they do?"
"I don't know," Aang shrugged wearily. "But they might be capable of more than we think. We need to at least give them a chance, Sokka."
Unfortunately, at that very moment, Sokka and Aang emerged from the trees and found themselves at the edge of the lake, having wandered in nearly a complete circle through the forest. And there before them, a short distance away, stood Awng and Katarola, waving their arms in slow-motion. The water in the lake lapped indifferently at the stony shore beside them. Sokka and Aang watched this dreamy, mystical water-dance for several long moments, waiting for something – anything – to happen. But nothing did.
"What are they doing?" Sokka finally asked, perplexed.
Aang scratched his head in bewilderment. "I… I think they're practicing… Waterbending? But they're not actually moving the water, so I'm not really sure… "
Sokka just shook his head, chuckling snidely to himself. "Right," he said slowly. "Still think these are the guys who can take out Lord Shyamalan and save the movie?"
Aang flushed slightly, embarrassed on behalf of the Movie Characters.
"Hey!" Sokka grinned deviously, his blue eyes alight. "Check this out!" He stepped forward quietly, coming to stand at the edge of the lake a little distance away from Awng and Katarola, who didn't seem to notice him.
"Sokka!" Aang called. "What are you doing?"
But Sokka ignored him, standing at the water's edge and beginning to wave his own arms in an exaggerated mimicry of their Waterbending dancing. He waved and twirled his arms with unnecessary emphasis, even adding mystical sound effects to the movements. Awng and Katarola noticed him after a moment, and both stopped their own dancing, staring blankly at him. Aang slapped his own forehead, and struggled against the urge to laugh.
"Hey, everyone, look!" Sokka cried, spinning in dramatic, slow-motion circles. "I'm Waterbending too! I've always wanted to be a Waterbender! Wait till I tell Katara!"
Aang laughed – he couldn't help it. But Katarola and Awng just stared.
"Are you…" Katarola began, her lip trembling and her eyes welling, "are you making fun of us again?"
Sokka just grinned sarcastically. "No, no, no, Princess! I would never make fun of your little interpretive dance routine. It's so – oh, what's the word? – thought-provoking. Real artistic, yeah. Got me right here." He patted his chest in mock earnestness.
Katarola smiled faintly, her eyes still glistening with tears. "You… you really think so?"
"You really don't have any concept of sarcasm at all, do you, Cupcake?" Sokka deadpanned.
Katarola, apparently coming to the realization that he was, in fact, making fun of her, burst into tears and ran off into the forest. Awng, Sokka and Aang all stared blankly after her in silence for several moments.
"Geesh," Sokka rolled his eyes, snickering. "Over-acting, much?"
"You shouldn't be so mean, Sokka," Aang scolded him lightly, though the animated Airbender was still grinning. "We all know she's pretty much always on the verge of an emotional breakdown."
"That's what makes it so fun!" Sokka protested, smiling and stretching his arms lazily.
"What are you two doing?" Awng asked, blinking. He seemed somehow more confused than usual.
"Just hanging around," Sokka shrugged, plopping heavily to the ground.
"How's your, erm," Aang hesitated, "training going?"
Awng shrugged, looking suddenly quite melancholy. "It's not going so well," he confessed after a moment. "I can't seem to focus for some reason. And I keep getting this strange feeling that… well, that it's all just… pointless."
"Hm. Fancy that," Sokka commented, smirking.
"And besides that," Awng went on, blinking rapidly in his consternation, "I can't get Katarola to notice me. Every time I try to talk to her, she just goes back to the script and starts saying her lines. It's like the only reason she talks to me at all is because Lord Shyamalan says so… What do you think I should do, Aang?"
"You want me to give you advice about talking to a girl?" Aang asked, surprised.
"Well… yeah," Awng shrugged, rubbing his bald head with embarrassment. "You just… I don't know… you just seem like you're really good with the ladies."
"HA!" Sokka burst into thunderous chortles. "HA! HA HA HA! Hahahahaha! Aha aha aha! Hee Hee! Heh…"
His guffaws died slowly away as he realized Aang was glaring rather indignantly at him.
"Ahem," Sokka coughed, still grinning widely. "Sorry, Aang."
Aang rolled his eyes and turned back to Awng. "Well, I was going to say, I'm actually not that great when it comes to girls. But I think Sokka kind of summed that up for me already."
"But," Awng argued, making his Scrunched-up Face, "but you've got a girlfriend. Animated Katara likes you."
"Yeah, but I had a crush on her for three whole seasons before we were actually together," Aang shook his head. "Not very fun… And believe me, I tried to get her attention."
"He did some pretty dumb stuff to try to get her attention," Sokka added, still smirking. "Like almost getting eaten by a sea monster. Remember that?"
"Sometimes she acted like she liked me," Aang went on, recalling the exasperation of that time, "and other times she just confused me. I did everything I could think of, but… well, I mean… she didn't actually decide she wanted to be with me until after I defeated the Fire Lord and saved the whole world!"
Awng stared at him, his wide eyes blinking with increasing hopelessness.
"You had to save the world to get a girlfriend?" he asked finally, dejected.
"It's not easy to get girls to like you," Sokka interjected, brimming with self-satisfaction. "Well, it is for me. I mean, they practically fall all over me. But, you know, I've just got a gift."
"I guess what I'm saying is," Aang said to Awng, "don't give up. It's just hard sometimes."
"Especially when you don't have any hair," Sokka added.
Now both of the bald Airbenders glared at him.
Sokka shrugged. "Hey! I'm just saying, I think it's kind of an acquired taste for a lot of girls. But don't worry – you pull it off well, Baldy." He grinned brightly at Aang.
Aang rolled his eyes again. "Thanks, Sokka," he said flatly.
"Sure thing. Well," Sokka said, rising to his feet and stretching, "Speaking of girls, I'm gonna go check up on Suki. A little quality Sokka-Time should drive her cold away before you know it!... So I'll see you guys later. Have fun with your little dance practice there, kid."
As Sokka marched jauntily back toward their camp, whistling a cheerful tune, Awng sat on the ground with a heavy, forlorn sigh. Aang came and sat beside him.
"Look, Awng," Aang began, uncertain how to broach the subject of Lord Shyamalan. "I've been thinking about some things. About the movie. I know you guys are trying to do a good job, but I've got to be honest with you – it's bad. It's just really bad."
Awng turned his eyes sadly to his animated counterpart, and sighed again. "I… I know."
"You know?" Aang asked, truly astonished.
"I've been thinking about it a lot recently," Awng confessed. "I don't know how I never noticed before. I try to ignore it, but I can't – it's just… bad."
"Wow," Aang said, amazed that Awng had come to the conclusion on his own.
"I don't know what to do, though," Awng sighed wearily. "I mean, I'm just a regular kid with no acting experience and a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. I can't do anything."
"There is something you can do," Aang said quickly, with growing excitement. "You can face Lord Shyamalan yourself!"
"What?" Awng cried, shocked at such a suggestion. "But how could I possibly do that? And what good would it do?"
"Awng, just listen," Aang went on eagerly. "Everything that's really bad in this movie – the dialogue, the pacing, the character development, the plot-holes you could fly an Air Bison through – all of that is because of Lord Shyamalan! If you want to make a real difference, you're going to have to face him. I don't know how yet, but I'm sure there's a way. We're in an illogical fanfic, after all! If nothing else, I'm sure the fanfic author will just send you off to face Lord Shyamalan somewhere without any explanation at all in just a chapter or two!"
"You think so?" Awng asked, his eyes growing wide and his mouth quivering slightly. "But – but why does it have to be me?"
"Well, as far as I know, you're the only Movie Character so far who's actually realized how bad the movie is," Aang pointed out. "And besides, you're the Avatar. Or Ahvatar. However you want to say it. You're the main protagonist of the movie; who else could be better qualified to save it? I think – I think it's your destiny, Awng."
"I… I don't know, Aang," Awng sighed, looking flustered and overwhelmed. "What if I fail?"
"You won't," Aang asserted, with deep conviction. "I believe you can do it. You have to. For everyone's sake – for all you Movie Characters, and all of us Animated Characters, and especially for all of our many, many disappointed fans."
Awng sighed heavily again, staring straight ahead. "Well," he said reluctantly, "I need to think about it."
"Sure," Aang nodded, patting him encouragingly on the back. "Oh, and about Katarola – my advice is to just be yourself. Or, well… Your real self, not your Movie Self. You're pretty boring as your Movie Self. No offense."
Awng shrugged. "None taken."
"And also," Aang added after a moment of thought, "if Sokka gives you advice about girls, just do the opposite of whatever he says. Trust me on that one."
Later that night, as everyone slept soundly around the remains of their campfire, Aang was awoken by the rustling of leaves and the unmistakable grunts of Old Blueface. Sitting up with a yawn, the animated Airbender rubbed his eyes sleepily and saw Awng not far away, about to climb onto Movie Appa's back.
"Hey," Aang whispered, careful not to wake the others. "Whatcha doing?"
Awng glanced back at his animated counterpart anxiously.
"Oh," he muttered softly. "I'm just going to go visit that old abandoned Air Temple over there. Just for a little while. I'll be back soon."
"Uh, okay," Aang murmured, "but… why?"
"Well, I – um…" Awng furrowed his brow for a moment, puzzled. "Wait, hold on – I'll think of it in a second…"
"Never mind," Aang waved his hands dismissively. "I forgot that motivation isn't important in this movie. But are you sure you want to go by yourself? I could go with you."
"No, no, that's all right," Awng shook his head. "I'm supposed to go by myself."
"Oh." Aang paused for a moment, then shrugged. "Well. Have fun, then."
The animated Airbender rolled over to go back to sleep, but Awng hesitated suddenly – those nagging, out-of-character thoughts beginning to bother him again. After a brief conflict within himself, the live-action boy spoke up once more, in a cautious hush. "Wait – Aang?"
"Hm?" Aang mumbled.
"Do you, um – do you think maybe it's a bad idea? Maybe I just shouldn't go at all."
Aang yawned, and sat up again, looking carefully at his tormented live-action doppelganger. "Well – I'm not sure what the point is," Aang shrugged. "But I don't see any harm in it, either."
"Because I was just thinking," Awng went on, flustered, "I mean, there are a bunch of Fire Nation people out looking for me. It would probably be a lot safer just to stay here with the group. Right?"
Aang shrugged again. "Yeah, I guess it would be safer. But then again, what is there to worry about?"
"Well... what if there's an ambush or something?" Awng asked nervously.
"What?" Aang chuckled softly. "An ambush? You mean up there, at the old, abandoned Air Temple that no one could possibly know you were going to visit? Right. I doubt anyone's even up there. And even if there is someone there, for some reason – then, like I said, they couldn't possibly know you were coming. It's not like there's a reason for you to go there; and obviously this is sort of a last minute, spontaneous thing. And if they don't know you're coming, there's no way they could set up anything like an ambush before you even got there... And anyway, if worst comes to worst and somehow you do get in trouble… Well, you're the Avatar, right? I'm sure you'd be able to handle it just fine."
Awng smiled slowly, reassured. "You're right," he nodded after a moment. "There's nothing to worry about. Thanks, Aang."
"No problem," Aang yawned again, turning over once more and settling back down to sleep. Behind him, he heard Awng clamber onto Old Blueface's back and softly shout "Yip yip!" With a loud moan, the CGI bison took off into the sky.
Aang lay there for a few moments, not quite asleep, his thoughts meandering casually. What had happened at this part in the movie, anyway? He couldn't quite remember. Let's see... It was some point after the embarrassing Earthbenders in the prison... The Movie Characters were in a forest… Then Awng went to the Air Temple in the middle of the night… And then... Oh, wasn't there a strange old man at the temple? Yeah, that was weird... And he took Awng down into the room full of statues… And then… ?
Oh.
The rest of the scene suddenly came back to him. Archers hiding in the statues. Right.
Aang sat up quickly, to warn Awng – but it was too late. Awng was already gone.
"... Oops," Aang muttered, a little guiltily. "Oh, well."
He rolled over and went back to sleep.
The next morning was painfully dull. With Awng gone, Katarola and Sockson both seemed fully content to do absolutely nothing. They weren't in this part of the movie, after all. The "exciting" part was whatever was happening with Awng, up in the Air Temple. And until Awng got back, it was their duty to sit around uselessly and wait for their next scene. Meanwhile, the rest of Team Avatar spent the day in a state of complete and utter ennui, lazily lounging around the forest and reminiscing about all the things they missed from their Animated Universe.
"Wonder how Appa's doing?" Aang reflected quietly, leaning against a tree trunk and staring dully up at the myriad of branches overhead.
"I dunno," Katara sighed, rolling over onto her back beside him. "I could really go for some of Iroh's tea right now, though."
"Does anyone else feel kind of bad that we basically abandoned Iroh and Zuko back at the South Pole?" Suki added, sniffling. She was curled into a ball beside Sokka, wrapped up in a blanket.
"They'll be okay," Sokka waved his arms. "We'll probably meet up with them again soon. You know who I really miss, though? Momo."
"Yeah," Aang sighed. "Momo."
"And that Cabbage Guy," Sokka added.
"Oh, yeah!" Aang laughed. "And the Foaming Mouth Guy on Kyoshi Island."
"I don't really miss him," Katara said. "He kind of creeps me out."
"He kind of creeps all of us out," Suki agreed with a loud sneeze.
"You okay, Suki?" Aang asked.
Suki sniffled again, and sighed. "I'll be fine."
"I'd make you some soup," Sokka offered. "But I'm afraid I'm fresh out of Arctic Hen."
"That's all right, Sokka," Suki smiled at him fondly. "I appreciate the thought, though."
"Mm, Arctic Hen," Katara murmured dreamily. "And steamed sea prunes!"
"Sea prunes!" Sokka sighed as well, beginning to drool.
"Blech," Aang grimaced.
Katarola and Sockson came strolling by at that moment, Katarola looking wide-eyed, wide-mouthed, and emotional as usual; Sockson frowning distantly, customarily over-serious and agitated about nothing. The two Movie Characters sat down, joining the circle of Animated Characters.
"What are all of you talking about?" Katarola asked, smiling blankly.
"Sea prunes!" Sokka replied happily.
"Oh," Katarola blinked, her empty smile unwavering. "That's nice."
"Never liked prunes," Sockson mumbled fiercely, scowling off into space.
"So, what's going on? You two want to chit-chat now?" Katara asked, unable to keep the sarcasm out of her voice. "Hey, I've got an idea! Why don't you narrate for us, Little Miss Exposition? You know – just so we all know what's going on. We wouldn't want to get confused."
Katarola's lip trembled. Her eyes glistened with tears.
"Yep, and there she goes with the waterworks," Katara waved her arms, snickering caustically. "Right on cue. At least you're consistent – I'll give you that."
Sockson growled at Katara sternly, clenching his teeth. "You know – all you guys have done since you got here is make fun of us!"
"It's just so easy," Sokka shrugged. "We can't resist."
Katarola burst into tears - again - scrambling to her feet and fleeing away from the group. Sockson frowned angrily at all of them. Sokka just shook his head, chuckling under his breath. Katara rolled her eyes in annoyance. Only Aang seemed the smallest bit remorseful.
"Katara," he said softly. "Maybe you shouldn't be so mean to her?"
"I'm sorry, Aang," Katara muttered bitterly. "I just can't help it. I can't stand this movie, I'm tired of being in this fanfic, and she just gets on my last nerve! If she would at least grow a backbone, or a personality, or something, it wouldn't be so bad, but I – ugh! I'm sorry."
"No, I understand," Aang nodded with a heavy sigh. "All the same, maybe someone should go talk to her?"
He glanced around the group. Sokka whistled casually, refusing to meet his eye. Suki sneezed and sniffled miserably. Katara was still seething, staring hard at a leaf on the ground, clearly unwilling to apologize to the live-action girl any time soon. And Sockson just glared at him.
Aang sighed again, wearily. "Okay… I guess I'll go talk to her, then."
He found Katarola sitting by the edge of the lake, sobbing pathetically. Aang rolled his eyes and inhaled slowly – why did he always seem to get stuck being the nice guy? He sat down beside her and stared at the ripples in the water for a few moments, while Katarola sniveled dramatically.
"Hey," he finally mumbled uncomfortably. "So, um… Yeah, sorry about what Katara said back there. She's just in a bad mood, that's all."
"Sh-sh-she h-h-hates m-m-m-me!" Katarola whimpered pitifully, her lips quivering.
Aang glanced away, resisting the urge to give the girl a good shake and command her to get a grip. "She doesn't hate you," he said finally, reluctantly. It was probably a lie, but he thought the situation called for a little stretching of the truth. "It's just that, well… you know… she's not as sensitive as you. And remember, you're supposed to be her, so you can't blame her for getting a little impatient sometimes."
"I-I-I-I only do wh-what Lord Shyamalan tells me," Katarola protested between sobs. "It's n-n-n-not my fault. L-L-Lord Shyamalan thinks I'm a g-g-good actress. He said he wouldn't do the movie without m-me!"
"I think you just need to tone down the emotions a bit. Or, well, a lot," Aang suggested, attempting to sound helpful and encouraging. "And you probably shouldn't narrate things anymore. And maybe you should try to stand up for yourself once in a while instead of waiting around for other characters to do something."
"B-b-but I'm j-just following the s-s-s-s-s-s-script," Katarola shook her head fervently, hiccupping as her tears began to die down. "I d-don't know what else to do!"
"Well… why don't you try not following the script?" Aang asked.
"Wh-wh-what?" Katarola gasped, turning her wide, dewy eyes upon Aang. Clearly, this was a shocking new concept to her.
"Yeah," Aang grinned. "Do something just because you want to, or try just talking to people without reciting your lines. Say whatever you feel like!"
"Anything at all?" Katarola breathed, staring wide-eyed at him.
"Sure!" Aang smiled eagerly – maybe he could make a breakthrough with Katarola, like he'd done with Awng. If he could get two of the Movie Characters to reach enlightenment about Lord Shyamalan's incompetence, they would have an even better chance of defeating him! "Anything that comes to mind."
"Whatever I feel like?"
"Whatever you actually feel. Without thinking about it too much."
Katarola smiled brightly, her eyes sparkling suddenly. "Oh, Aang," she cried. "Kiss me!"
Aang choked violently. "WHAT?" he shouted, extremely alarmed.
She tackled him before he could react. Aang screamed in horror and frantically attempted to scramble away. But the live-action girl held him tight, squeezing him in a smothering grip.
"Kiss me, you adorable, animated, arrow-headed cutie!" she demanded delightedly, pinning him helplessly to the ground.
Aang's eyes were wide with panic. "Um…!" he stammered anxiously. "I think there's been a major misunderstanding here – !"
The live-action girl attempted to kiss him, while he struggled unsuccessfully to weasel his way out of her grip.
"You're so spontaneous!" she exclaimed passionately. "So vivacious! I've never met anyone so alive!"
"Help!" Aang bellowed, as she finally succeeded in planting a hearty kiss on him. He sputtered. "This doesn't even – ! I'm a cartoon! How does this even work? KATARA, HELP!"
A massive water-whip suddenly rose from the surface of the lake, instantly smacking Katarola and knocking her a good distance away from the flustered Airbender. Katara herself had, of course, come running as soon as she'd heard the commotion, and stood beside them now, fuming. Literally - Aang could have sworn he saw steam coming from her ears. She looked ready to thoroughly pummel someone – namely, Katarola.
"GET YOUR DAINTY LITTLE CUPCAKE HANDS OFF MY BOYFRIEND, YOU PASTY, POUTY, BONEHEADED LITTLE FLOOZY!" she thundered, full of wrath.
Aang, still in shock, sat on the ground and watched as Katara proceeded to pound Katarola with a deluge of water from the lake, furiously calling her several unpleasant names that Aang didn't even know that Katara knew (and some he didn't even know existed). Sokka, Suki, and Sockson all came running a few moments later, curious to see what kind of catastrophe had just taken place. When Sokka heard the things Katara was shouting, he flushed.
"Katara!" he scolded her. "Watch your mouth! What would Gran-Gran say?"
As soon as Katarola was thoroughly drenched and beaten, Katara turned and snatched Aang rather ungently off the ground, brushing him off and squeezing him protectively.
"Get your own Airbender!" she bellowed ferociously at Katarola. Then she looked at Aang. "Are you okay?"
Aang, dizzy and bewildered and thoroughly unsettled, just blinked at her for a moment in a daze. "I... I just feel so… violated!" He shuddered.
"Don't worry, Aang," Katara said soothingly. "It's going to be okay. We'll just go back to camp and forget this whole thing ever happened. Okay?"
"Okay," Aang mumbled distantly, leaning on her shoulder. She began leading him back toward the camp, leaving behind Sokka and Suki – astonished but entertained – as well as a very angry Sockson, and a very saturated, disoriented Katarola.
Later that evening, Aang sat alone beside the campfire. Now it was his turn to glare and brood. Sokka waltzed over and sat wordlessly down beside him, chuckling.
"What's so funny?" Aang asked, extremely not amused.
"Oh, pretty much everything," Sokka replied cheerfully. "You've had a pretty exciting day, haven't you, lover boy?"
"I don't want to talk about it," Aang grumbled, flushing with embarrassment. He still felt thoroughly violated.
"Hey, don't be so upset!" Sokka grinned, punching him lightly in the arm. "You should be proud."
"Huh?" Aang gaped at him, wrinkling his eyebrows in profound confusion.
"Yeah! Think about it," Sokka snickered. "You had two Kataras fighting over you!"
Aang was silent for a few moments, his eyes slowly broadening with this revelation. He hadn't thought about it like that before. Suddenly, the entire unpleasant ordeal didn't seem so horrible. The animated Airbender's mouth slowly grew into a rather dreamy grin. "Flameo!" he exclaimed at last, under his breath.
At about that moment, Awng came stumbling into the camp, looking beaten and weary. Aang and Sokka both turned, startled at the sound of his footsteps, and gaped at him in surprise.
"Hey! You're back!" Aang cried.
"Where've you been?" Sokka asked.
"I got captured," Awng replied matter-of-factly.
"Oh, yeah," Aang blushed, still feeling a little guilty. "So… how'd that go?"
Awng shrugged casually. "It was okay," he said, coming to sit down on the other side of Aang. "There was some old guy at the Air Temple, for some reason, and he led me to this secret room full of statues. I guess I should have thought it was a little strange that there would be an old guy hanging around an old abandoned temple, but for some reason I just didn't think about it at the time… Anyway, and then somehow in the room of statues there were a bunch of these archers already hiding and waiting for me."
"Wait, you got ambushed?" Sokka interrupted incredulously. "But how could they have possibly known you were coming? None of us even knew that you were going there!"
Awng just shrugged again. "I dunno," he muttered nonchalantly.
"Well," Aang asked. "Did you fight them?"
Awng's eyes shifted slightly with embarrassment. "Uh… a little."
Aang just sighed, exasperated, rubbing his forehead.
"Anyway, then I met General Zhao," Awng continued rather indifferently. "He talked a lot, and kept mentioning something about a library… I don't know. He seemed a little obsessed with it. And then this strange person in a blue mask showed up and set me free. And you'll never guess who it – !"
"You mean Movie Zuko?" Aang interjected in a bored tone.
"Oh," Awng blinked, taken aback. "Wait, how did you know?"
"Awng," Aang stared impatiently at him for a moment. "You're me. Remember?"
"Oh, right," Awng mumbled. "Well, anyway, me and him fought a bunch of guys. It was fun. And – Oh! Oh! AND I FOUND THE AIRBENDER'S OLD PRACTICE AREA!"
Aang and Sokka both raised their eyebrows at the live-action boy. He seemed unreasonably enthusiastic about that one small detail.
"Um, that's… great?" Aang said slowly. "But why is that important?"
"At all?" Sokka added, with an extra scoop of cynicism.
Awng shrugged again, and frowned, apparently perplexed as to why neither of them found this small bit of information significant. "I don't know," he murmured after a moment. "Just felt like mentioning it to you guys. You know… Just so you know."
"Great," Sokka rolled his eyes. "Well, thanks for that little tidbit of info, there. Good to know that in the middle of a huge battle, at least you managed to find the practice area."
"Well," Awng blinked at them, yawning. "I'm pretty tired after that big fight scene. I think I'm going to go to bed. I guess we should be arriving at the North Pole in the next chapter."
"And you guys know what that means!" Sokka grinned jubilantly.
"The movie's almost over!" Aang sighed in relief.
"Good-night," Awng said.
"Night, Awng," Aang replied. As Awng stood and wandered off to find a place to sleep beneath the trees, Katara approached the two animated boys and took Awng's vacated place beside Aang, leaning sleepily on the Airbender's shoulder.
"I'm so ready to get out of this movie," she commented wearily.
"I know, Katara," Aang replied softly. "But it's almost done. We've probably only got a chapter or two left after this."
"Ugh!" Katara groaned. "I wish it would just end already. I mean, what's the point? There's nothing that can be done to save this movie."
"I think there is," Aang shook his head, gazing pensively into the fire. "I think Awng can face Lord Shyamalan and defeat him before this fanfic is over."
Katara sat up and stared at him, taken aback. "Awng? Defeat Lord Shyamalan? Really, Aang?" Her voice was heavy with skepticism. "I'm not so sure – I mean, look at him! Look at all of them! They have no idea what they're doing!"
"We have to give them a chance, Katara," Aang insisted. "We can't give up yet! I know right now everything seems pretty hopeless, but… I think there's a reason we came here. Lord Shyamalan may have destroyed all the life in this movie, but I haven't lost hope. I think it's Awng's destiny to defeat Lord Shyamalan… Sure, he's still got a lot to learn before he's ready to save anyone. But I believe, Awng can save the movie!"
Sokka immediately began humming dramatically, "DU-U-UMM, DAH DAH DU-U-UMM…!"
Katara and Aang both glanced sidelong at him. "Uh, Sokka?" Katara said. "What are you doing?"
"I'm humming the theme song from the show!" Sokka grinned. Aang and Katara just stared at him, their eyebrows raised sardonically. Sokka scowled. "It seemed appropriate, okay?" he protested.
There we go! Not as epic as the previous chapter... But it's really hard to top Zuko on cactus juice, haha. Coming soon: the North Pole, and the final battle with Lord Shyamalan! :D