This is a (what I'm sure is a very long awaited) request for Yaoi lover-13. Review longer than one line, no dying please, have fun etc etc. I'm sorry it took so long!
But I have been busy. Finals, book writing, (sigh) life…
Then I got onto a massive art kick, which I'm still on. So yeah, I kinda forgot about this request until now.
Anyway I'm ranting on now – please excuse the duet in this one. It wouldn't have been as cracky otherwise. Also please excuse the shameless aikira. Any excuse…
Chapter 7: Weird Science
When Grimmjow eventually swaggered his way off the stage after doing a rather nosebleed inducing strip tease, he swung his T-shirt over his shoulder and took his seat again on the table next to Szayel. Ulquiorra was at this table as well, still hiccupping and half asleep with his head resting on the table next to his empty beer glass. He was just coming around from his beer induced sleep with a rather pounding headache, and was not amused in the slightest when Szayel - currently sitting next to him - started giggling like an idiot. Well... a very girly idiot.
"Oww my head... hic..."
Ulquiorra was clutching the side of his head and was very disorientated, to say the least. And needless to say, he was currently in a lot of pain from the effects of the alcohol. Szayel just cackled at him, simply unable to restrain himself. Ulquiorra was not amused in the slightest. He tried to respond to Szayel's quite immature laughing but all he could manage was a very slurred comeback, which probably got garbled by all of the noise in the bar coming from everywhere else.
"Hic... oh yeah Pinky... like… like you can do better than me... hic... trash."
"Hah! Oh really?" Szayel said, swishing his hair in very much the feminine fashion just as Ulquiorra's head hit the table again, as Szayel got up and decided to storm over towards the DJ to put in a request for a song to sing.
"Hmph! Well we shall just see about that!" he said storming across the room, stopping about half way when he saw Aizen lying on top of a rather flushed looking Izuru, tongue wrestling. And quite passionately so.
"Really Aizen-sama! Making out in a bar? And with a stranger?"
"Oh be quiet Szayel. Surely I am allowed to have some fun; after all, plotting your demise is very stressful. And he is not a stranger."
Szayel took the hint and just carried on walking. Not really wanting to argue with his... boss, for the lack of a better word. So he just made his request and quietly climbed his way onto the stage and quietly waited for the music to start so he could show Ulquiorra just how much better at singing he was than him.
When the lights dimmed again the music started up again, this time with a rather 80's beat, and our favourite pink haired scientist waited for his cue to start singing what was quite an appropriate tune for him.
From my heart and from my hand
Why don't people understand
My intentions
Weird... Ooo!
The groove was really easy to get into, so Szayel pretty much had his work cut out for him. And anyway, he had practiced this number many times before when jumping around and singing into his hairbrush back in Las Noches. And on one occasion he had forced his fraccion to watch and give him feedback. So all he really had to do now was just sing the words which he already knew and just make it look pretty and dramatically pace the stage in between the choruses. And of course swish his hair a few times just for good measure. Which he did.
Weird Science
Plastic tubes and pots and pans
Bits and pieces and
Magic from the hand
We're makin' (Weird science)
Things I've never seen before
Behind bolted doors
Talent and imagination
Szayel wasn't really sure if he had any fangirls out there in the audience, so he just had to go on assuming there were. Until some small number of Rukia style screams started drifting his way. Which made him grin wickedly and carry on the number with just that much more enthusiasm – not that he needed it, of course. He was just doing what he had done a thousand times before – yes, he had counted – and continued to strut around the stage with the microphone in his hand like he owned the place.
Which in summary was just Szayel just doing what he did best.
(Weird science)
Not what teacher said to do
Makin' dreams come true
Living tissue, warm flesh (Weird science)
Plastic tubes and pots and pans
Bits and pieces (and)
Bits and pieces (and)
As Szayel sang on the stage, Mayuri, sitting at the very back of the building folded his arms in displeasure.
"Heh!"
Nemu, who was accompanying him, perked up at his reaction. Because she, for one, was enjoying the performance like the masses were.
"This fool, he calls himself a scientist. And he can't even sing! This is ridiculous I tell you Nemu! Ridiculous!"
He folded his arms again across his chest and made a face. Exactly what kind of face nobody is a hundred percent sure, but it was probably one of outright annoyance and insult.
"Then why don't you go and join him on the stage Mayuri-sama? Then you can show him how to do things properly."
Mayuri grinned, much like the Cheshire cat would do.
"Why that is an excellent idea Nemu!" he said, as he got up from his seat. "Guard my chair whilst I am gone."
"Yes Mayuri-sama." Nemu replied, silently watching him begin to claw his way to the front through the crowd as the arrancar continued his performance.
(Bits of) my creation... Is it real?
It's my creation... My creation
It's my creation Weird Science
Weird...ooo!
Mayuri pushed and shoved his way up to the front, knocking people drinks out of their hands and shoving people and telling them to move. And eventually the crowd did their own rendition of the parting of the Red Sea and made way for him.
"Get out of my way you fool, get out of my way!"
He shoved the last man out of the way and just stood there tutting and shaking his head at the arrancar before clambering onto the stage in a rather undignified manner and demanded the microphone from Szayel.
"Right. You. Give me that microphone. You are not a scientist and therefore cannot be allowed to sing this song."
"WHAT? I am too a scientist, and this is MY performance. You wait your turn you creep!" Szayel defended, somewhere between singing the lines of the song. Nobody was going to wreck his moment in the limelight. Not even this creepy guy. Until Mayuri started to join in with the singing that was, while trying to outdo Szayel and snatch the microphone from his grasp.
"This mike is mine you crazy fool!"
"No it isn't!"
"Give it back!"
"NO!"
(Weird science)
Magic and technology
Voodoo dolls and chants
Electricity We're makin' (Weird science)
Fantasy and microchips
Shooting from the hip
Something different
We're makin'
(Weird science)
Pictures from a magazine
Diagrams and charts
Mending broken hearts (and makin')
"Just let me take over Pinky, this is my number now!"
"No way!" Szayel yelled, just as Mayuri managed to pry the microphone away from him and head to the front of the stage to sing the next chorus. Leaving a very unimpressed Szayel to stand there while everybody laughed at the new comedics of this performance.
(Weird science)
Something like a recipe
Bits and pieces (and)
Bits and pieces (and)
(Bits of) my creation... Is it real?
It's my creation... I do not know
No hesitation... No heart of gold
Just flesh and blood... I do not know
I do not know
From my heart and from my hand
Why don't people understand
My intentions . . . .
OOoo OOoo OOoo, weird science
"Oh that is it!" he said, stomping his way over to Mayuri in order to try and reclaim his place in the spotlight. As he tried to pull the audio device away from his nemesis' hands again. but Mayuri was having none of it. however, they both managed to keep on singing even throughout fighting each other on the stage. Somehow managing to remember all of the words and hitting their cues in perfect synchronisation.
Magic and technology [voodoo dolls and chants]
Weird Science
Things we never seen before [behind open doors]
Weird Science
Not what teacher said to do
Bits and pieces (and)
Bits and pieces (and)
They were still fighting, both of them trying to pull the microphone back at this stage, and the crowd was loving every second of it. Some were chanting for them to fight, others were just fangirling, and others were laughing so hard that it hurt. Indeed this was going to be a really memorable performance.
(Bits of) my creation... Is it real?
It's my creation... I do not know
No hesitation... No heart of gold
Just flesh and blood... I do not know
It's my creation
It's my creation...ooo!
my creation...OOOOO!
my creation
It's my creation From my heart and from my hand
Why don't people understand
My intentions . . . . Oooh, weird
OOOooo OOOooo OOOooo
weird science ooo!
Weird
"Give me back that microphone!" Mayuri snarled, just as Szayel managed a strategically placed hair swish.
"Ha, you wish creep." Szayel snarled back, really acting like a spoiled diva now. Mayuri just took this as a signal for a fight, and thus as catfight did break out.
"Oh yeah, you bring it bitch! I aint afraid of you!"
Mayuri just laughed, still trying to grab the microphone.
"Oh really, I think you are."
Szayel growled, only to miss his cue when he realised Mayuri had started singing the next part of the song. Great, now this guy was singing better than him. He could not let this happen. He was perfect. And he was not going to be beaten by this creep. Never in a million years.
Weird science Weird science (science) ...Ooo!
(oh whoa-oh whoa-oh whoa-oh)
Bits and pieces
Bits and pieces and
(OOOooo OOOooo OOOooo)
Weird science
They somehow regained synchronisation again, and now both of them had somehow forgotten about who was holding the microphone as they both concentrated on singing better than the other one, so the both of them were just standing there and singing into the same microphone, not really hearing the crowds positive reaction at this point in time.
She's alive!
They both even cackled after that bit, just to add a bit of atmosphere to the performance. Well, they were both scientists who both knew the feeling of having created another living being, like Frankenstein at some point in their lives. So it was more than appropriate.
Bits and pieces... Ooo!
Weird!
Oh whoa-oh whoa-oh whoa-oh!
OOOooo OOOooo OOOooo
Weird science
Bits and pieces
Weird science
The rest of the song was uneventful after that in means of fighting for the microphone. The catfight had apparently ended. They just sang now, only focused on the rhythm of the song. They had both given up on outdoing each other now, and just really thought of trying to make the best out of this train wreck of a performance. Especially so since the DJ finally decided to throw Szayel a second microphone so they could duet properly.
Bits and pieces
Bits and pieces
Bits and pieces
Weird science
Weird
Weird science Bits and pieces
They stopped being enemies now, and just got into the funky 80's beat. Anyway, Szayel could always get revenge on Mayuri later for wrecking his show. Either way, they both owned the stage now, Szayel throwing his free hand into the air with his voice and Mayuri singing slightly off key whilst getting funky with the music.
My creation... Is it real?
It's my creation... I do not know
No hesitation... Is it real?
(My creation)
Just flesh and blood... Just flesh and blood, Just flesh and blood
(My creation... My creation) Weird science
As soon as the music stopped there was a couple of seconds worth of silence before the crown just erupted in rounds of applause. And some number of standing ovations – much like there were with all of the other performances before theirs – and also one or two wolf whistles for good measure. Szayel assumed they were for him because Mayuri was too creepy looking to have fangirls. Just as Mayuri assumed Szayel looked to girly to have his fangirls. Mayuti smirked at the crowds faces until he saw Nemu giving him her standing ovation.
"Bravo Mayuri-sama. Bravo!"
Szayel just smirked evilly at him.
"Haha, I think your lieutenant rather enjoyed your performance."
"Oh just shut up Pinky. Just be glad it's over."
A/N - Its been so long since I've done any crack. Hope I aint too rusty! Anway, hope ya enjoyed! I really couldn't think of a better ending, so you'll just have to forgive on that part. YL13 your review be greatly loved.