Chapter 7: Probably

I do not own Wan Wan-O, Spam, Naruto, Oingo Boingo, or anything else. Oh dear Lord, if I did…

Naruto gasped… He needed ramen. Ramen was required. Ramen was necessary. It was necessarily necessary. He moaned. He groaned. He whined. He had been just sitting by this stupid tree for hours. And yes, the tree possessed a low Intelligence Quotient. Naruto started sobbing and shrieking, "Raaaaaamen!" And then "RAAAAAMEN!" He shouted ramen at the sun. He cursed it with ramen.

He formed a Rasenplate and gazed at it drearily. He mused at its magnificent prop'ties. Naruto did all this while moaning ramen.

All of a sudden, he heard somebody utter the word, "Ramen?"

Naruto turned around. It was his old friend Sasuke with three other weirdoes of whom he had no knowledge. One of them looked like Fishy. He would call that one sub-Fishy. Sub-Fishy was attractive. There was also a scary-$$ man with weird hair and a man who was walking around with nothing other than lacy, Summer-Blossom ladies' panties on his body, other than his slashed Leaf headband. Attractive.

"Uuuuke!" Naruto shrieked like a fangirl. Like a fangirl.

Sasuke appeared mortified. To add injury to insult, Naruto jumped into Sasuke's arms, so Sasuke was now holding him bridal style and began twirling his hair and licking his face with his dry tongue. Sasuke remembered Naruto not weighing 93 pounds. Oh well. It didn't matter now.

"Uke?" repeated Itachi.

"No," said Sasuke.

"Aw."

Naruto waved and wiggled his legs about, rejoicing to be held in the arms of his old friend. It was a very, very fancy feeling. "I feel—I feel like I just picked up my best friend Rhiannon from the airport."

"Eh…" said Sasuke.

"What?" said Suigetsu and Jugo together.

Itachi said, "I did that last week." This statement earned him stairs from the rest of the group. And yes, stairs. Not "stares," stairs.

"Rhiannon is fancy," said Naruto.

"And sexy," said Itachi.

"Who's Rhiannon?" asked Suigetsu.

"Your mom."

"I have no idea."

"Idk."

"My girlfriend." Itachi said that. Nobody knew whether or not he was kidding, or who this "Rhiannon" even was... They would probably never find out.

"Oh. Okay."

"So, what are you guys even doin' here, out all up in the middle of the woods and whatnot?" asked Naruto.

"Heading to the Tenchi Bridge to give some guy a horse…" Sasuke got a devious idea. "Say, are you any good at cosplaying?"

*Woods: Deidara and Sasori*

"A pony?" asked Sasori.

"Hai," replied his blonde-haired, ambiguously-gendered friend.

"He wants a pony?"

"Si."

"Why would he want one of those? They're gross, stinky, sticky, and—"

"Not puppets?"

Sasori grunted yes.

"But anyway, I have no idea. He's a collector, I guess. Or something like that."

"Harrumph."

"Okay."

Sasori started muttering the lyrics to Wan-Wan-O! Deidara started doing the dance.

*Tobi and "Hidan"*

Tobi did karate chops over the edge of the Tenchi Bridge. He was awaiting the arrival of his many ponys. "Ponys, ponys, ponys," chimed Tobi.

"Raruff, raruff, raruff," barked Hidan.

"What would you like to has for din-din today, Hindin?" asked Tobi.

"…"

"Okay. Wowza, you ist quiet lately Hindin." Tobi grabbed his burlap sack he had acquired from a scary man with a snaky tongue. He grabbed "Hidan" by its scruff and shoved it in the bag. It struggled a great deal before giving up the fight. Tobi tied the sack and threw it over the rail of the bridge. He then jumped in himself, screeching on the way down, "Gotza sweem nao, Hindin, 'relse we nose can do it tewday cause our tumms will beez awl full!"

"Hidan" was not having fun.

When they surfaced, Tobi shook out his hair and let "Hidan" out of the sack. "Hidan" was in a lot of pain. Almost drowning hurt very much. He whined and whined, but his cries of pain went unnoticed to the lollipop man unwrapping their dinner. "Saso-tan ate all of snacks for Tobi, so we going to has to deal wish this." Tobi produced a number of delicacies from his bag, fresh and delicious. "It really is too bad, Hindin, that we have to eat this cwap. Disappointing, huh? Sasori bought some weally good stuff, no wonder he eated it all."

"Hidan" weezed with his mouth particles. He started munching on one of the most delicious, cooked-to-perfection steaks he'd ever had. It was medium-rare, just how he liked it. It was like Tobi had his own personal chef in his little fancy Oingo Boingo tote bag. He likes little girls.

Tobi slurped some tasty To-Go Ichiraku ramen from behind his mask. "Hidan" had the best meal of his life, and Tobi whined about scallops. "Hidan" wanted to stay with this lollipop forever, if only for food. It was a good reason. Come on, wouldn't you do the same thing? He disliked the man for other reasons, many other reasons, but he could get around them. For the food, ya know? It would work well in the long-run.

When Tobi was finished, he teleported his rubbish to another dimension, "The Tobiverse" which is similar to the "VinDieselshpere." He collapsed to the ground and rolled over and over. He was at the same time rubbing his tummy shouting, "TUMMY! TUMMEH! TUMY! TUMTUMZOO!" He threw canned Spam at "Hidan" and put the unconscious him in the sack. "Omaera!" he screamed demandingly, dragging the sack to their home under the bridge. Everybody should be here in a few days.

*Deidara and Sasori*

"We should steal that dude's horse," said Sasori, seeing a bandit riding a horse, unaware of the missing nins' presence.

"But we need a pony, Saso-tan, not a horse," said Deidara.

"Think he'll notice?"

"I hate to say it, but he might."

"Really?"

"Probably."

-End Chappie 7-

A/N

Sorry for not updating in so long. Hope you didn't think I ditched you there. ;) Sorry if this chapter sucked, I'm very busy. I'll try and make the next one better. Thank you for the reviews: miscellaneousSam, H1d4n, and deeb0123456789 for the reviews. If I missed anyone's review, tell me in another review, and I'll gladly state your name and a full apology note in the next chappie. XD Thanks everyone who has read, those who've been with us from the beginning and new readers alike. Should I bring Karin back? (Asked of everyone, but H1d4n in particular, you probably enjoying bashing it as much as I do.)