King of the Castle
A/N: Ok so lets do this thing Zu Lie!
"So what's the first thing we do?" Kamina asked, rubbing his hands through the sand. "The more I try to hold it the harder it is to keep in one place! It won't stand up?"
"...ok he must be doing this on purpose." Bro sighed and pointed at the sea. "Well you start by getting some water from the sea and..."
"Oh oh so we get the sand all wet then?!"
"...ughhhhh." "Y-Yes, then we can sculpt it."
Kamina sprung to his feet and started taking off his pants. "Right then; guess I better get soaked so I can use all of this..."
That was it. "Enough! Please...just give me a minute." Bro was sweating so much he probably could have provided the water for it himself. "Ok I'm good. First things first; how are you planning on getting the water to the sand?"
Kamina blinked then cupped his hands. "Like this?"
"HOW DOES HE GO FROM BEING A SEX GOD TO A PUPPY IN A SECOND?!" Strider shook his head. "You're gonna want a bucket to carry it in."
Instantly a bucket with the Gurren Lagann logo appeared in Kamina's hand, much to his delight. "Yeah this makes much more sense! Ok so how much do I need?"
Bro shrugged. "The more the better. I get the feeling you'll screw this up."
His friend pouted. "You're mean. I'll show you how Team Gurren's indomitable leader conquers everything!"
"You don't have to..." Bro started but the pants were already off. "...ohhhh this is a good day."
Kamina spent wasted time in running to the sea to get its precious water, although once he got there it was considerably colder than expected. Nevertheless, the blue haired idiot charged full speed ahead until he was almost fully submerged. "T-T-This is c-colder t-than I e-expected!"
"Well no shit Sherlock." His friend rolled his eyes before it dawned on him. "Wait, if he's never been to water before...SHIT HE CAN'T SWIM!"
Thankfully the blue haired man had fortune on his side. "Hey who are you?"
He did try to reply, but all that came out was "Glub glub glub."
Before Bro even had time to stand up Kamina was back on the beach being assaulted by three very attractive men. "HOW DARE YOU HIT OUR HARUHI!"
"DADDY WON'T LET HIS HARUHI GET HURT BY SOME CREEP!"
Needless to say, Kamina was somewhat confused. "Erm Bro...do all seas have boys in them?"
Sadly Bro was too busy trying to contain himself to answer. "Tamaki and Kamina rolling wet on the floor...oh...oh this is...oh..."
"Erm...why are you hitting this guy?"
The three assailants all turned simultaneously to the small girl coming out of the water. "HARUHI YOU'RE NOT HURT!"
She quirked an eyebrow. "Why would I be hurt? All I did was bump into the poor guy."
Said 'poor guy' slowly got to his feet, still wondering what just happened. "Does this always happen at the beach?"
"Only with these guys around." Haruhi laughed. "Sorry about bumping into you; you're ok right?"
Kamina smirked. "But of course! The indomitable leader of Team DiGurren would never be injured by something so trivial!"
"You almost drowned you idiot!" Bro sighed before returning to his x-rated daydreaming.
Haruhi on the other hand laughed again. "Well that's fine by me then. I'm Haruhi by the way and this is the rest of the host club."
"Hi I'm Kamina and this is Bro." The blue haired man said, gesturing to himself and his friend while the three assailants glared at him.
Bro snapped out of his dream after hearing his name. "Oh yeah, sup. But wait; you guys aren't dead right? How are you up here?"
"My father has connections with the cherubs that run this beach, so occasionally we are allowed to use it for a day out such as this." Kyoya explained, not looking up from his deck chair.
"Yeah and me and Mori's families trained the guards!" Honey chipped in, licking an ice cream while on top of Mori's shoulders.
"How the hell did they just appear like that?!" Bro smiled. "So you literally bought your way into heaven for a day?"
Kyoya grinned. "Indeed. Speaking of which how are you both here? I thought this section had been cordoned off for our personal usage."
The shaded man shrugged. "Well I guess someone is gonna have to pay for this then."
"Potentially you two for trespassing. How about we settle on £10,000 each and nobody has to hear about all this?"
Bro blinked. Not that anyone saw but still, it totally happened. "I didn't have that much money when I was alive! ...well ok I did but this is still ridiculous!"
The accountant smirked. "Not my problem. Now I wonder which angel will kick you out..."
"NO WAY COULD YOU BEAT US IN A WATER FIGHT!"
"I CAN DO ANYTHING! THAT'D WHY I'M THE LEADER OF TEAM DIGURREN!"
"THAT'S A STUPID NAME!"
"YOU'RE A STUPID NAME!"
The pair of them rolled their eyes in unison. "Settle down children, settle down"
"Mommy Daddy wants to show this man who's boss!" Tamaki huffed. "He keeps talking to Haruhi and he's not good enough for my little..."
"Now that is problematic." Bro said, flash stepping between Kamina and the small girl who had gotten far too close for comfort to his man. "Dammit I leave him alone for five minutes and he's already getting hit on! I'll have to be more careful next time, more cunning..."
Kyoya stood up and stretched. "Not that I care, but this is a perfect opportunity to increase club revenue. Selling images of this water fight would make us a fortune. I'll make a phone call and see what I can do." A few minutes later a trio of angels appeared, bringing with them a giant fortress made of sand complete with gates, working doors, trap doors and a throne. "This building is filled with cameras, and the water guns in there are of the highest quality."
Tamaki screamed and hugged him. "Thank you mommy you're the best!"
"We are sitting this out." Mori proclaimed, restraining a very unhappy Honey.
"Its just an ice cream headache!"
"No."
"But Mori I wanna play with them!"
Kyoya smiled at Bro. "If you participate we could call it even? I'll even throw in a date with Haruhi if that increases your performance?"
Bro nodded. "I'll take the money off buy I'm into men." The two exchanged a knowing glance and that was all that was said on the matter between them.
Kamina, however, was still denser than lead. "But Haruhi is a guy? Right?"
The shaded man blushed. "Erm...well...not my type shall we say."
Kamina nodded. "Ohhh ok. I thought he was kinda cute..."
It was at that moment where Bro's world exploded. "K-Kinda...cute...?!"
Haruhi however went straight to protesting. "Hey you can't just sell me out to people like that!"
"Hmm..." Kyoya took out his calculator and typed in some numbers. "By doing this I can afford to knock ten percent of your debt off and still make a profit."
"...can I compete for myself?"
"That is allowed."
"Daddy will win this Haruhi! Don't worry!" Tamaki yelled, taking position at the start of the castle.
"I'll win this for you too Haruhi!" Hikaru and Kaoru cried.
The poor girl simply sighed. "Um...you know I'm competing too right?"
Meanwhile Kamina was somewhat less enthusiastic. "Hey I only wanted to battle you guys. Why'd you have to drag the poor guy in too? This is just like last time with Kaworu!"
"Hopefully you won't win." Bro thought and stepped up to the front. "So I do this and we're good?" Kyoya nodded. "Right, easy then. Let's start." Instantly he vanished and began scouting out the castle for all the good weapons.
Back at the start the others simply ran inside and fanned out in varying directions through the many corridors. Indeed the angels had done the perfect job in creating a maze of tunnels, rooms, floors and even sand paintings to give the castle the perfect look.
Not that anyone cared to notice. They were all too busy focusing on winning. Had it been normal humans they had been facing, Tamaki probably would have won with his skill and determination. However when someone who can literally move faster than the eye can see, he never stood a chance.
"Haruhi noooooo!" He cried, 'dying' dramatically as Bro shot him in the back.
"One down, four to go." The twins were next. Despite them agreeing to work together then duel it out at the end, the pair proved no match for the shaded man.
"How did you...are you human?"
Bro smirked. "I am. A human filled with awesome and great sword skills. Speaking of which where's Kamina?"
The two shrugged. "Think he's heading to the roof or something."
A few seconds later Bro was on the roof of the castle facing the man of his dreams, who was wielding a pool noodle dripping of water. "I knew you'd make it! Now face me like a man!"
"I wonder if he handles all noodles that wel-...FOCUS ON WINNING!" Bro laughed. "Time to kick your ass glorious leader."
The battle between them was long and hard, spanning many floors (some of which they were hit through) and many rooms. Indeed it was an epic fight worthy of the history books. Well, as worthy as a fight between two guys using pool noodles could be, but still. Eventually they ended up in the 'throne room' of the castle, panting and exhausted.
"He's even more awesome than I dreamed!" Bro silently fangirled on the inside, but showed only a stern look on his exterior. "I'm bored so lets finish this."
Kamina nodded. "We'll end it with one blow!" He cried and the two sprinted at one another, eyes blazing and full of power...
...only to be interrupted by a splash of water. "There you are! I've been looking everywhere!"
The Strider looked down in disbelief at the wet patch on the front of his shirt. "I...what...?!"
"HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT OUR MANLY DUEL!" Kamina yelled, swinging his pool noodle and defeating Haruhi. Instantly the castle fell apart, burying the three in sand. It took them a whole three minutes to escape, giving Kamina time to think about what had happened. When he finally reached the top, he was fully blushing. "Erm...I-I won then, right?"
"Correct." Kyoya nodded then quickly glared down the three other members before they jumped the blue haired man.
Bro meanwhile was in full crisis mode. "But...but I'm the strongest...h-how...now he's...what?!"
Haruhi dusted the sand off her shirt and sighed. "Well if its for all that money I guess one little date couldn't hurt."
Kamina's blush deepened. "I-Its ok, honestly! I know what its like to be forced into this so you don't have to..."
"Oh Haruhi is contractually obliged to do this." Kyoya said with an evil smile. "It will also be filmed and titled 'Boy Love: The Forbidden Fruit'. We will make millions!"
"B-B-But..." Bro started before appealing to Kamina. "Dude you said you weren't even sure about dating guys, r-right? So you can't do this! Hah, score one to me!"
The blue haired man scratched the back of his head. "Well if we have to...I mean, if you're ok with it man?"
Haruhi looked her shoes. "I don't really know you but you don't seem like that much of a bad guy. I guess there are worse people..."
"OH THIS IS NOT HAPPENING AND I WILL FIGHT ALL OF YOU TO STOP IT!" Bro proclaimed, taking out his real sword and preparing for the great ass kicking to come...which never came because he was already worn out from the water fight. All he managed was a feeble slash in the general direction of Kyoya before falling over panting. "Must...defeat...for Kamina..."
"It seems like its settled then," Kyoya smiled, "Haruhi and Kamina will go on a date."
And thus the journey to discovering Kamina's sexuality began.
A/N: Muhahahahahaha! Hope you liked it :P