A/N - Thanks for all the reviews. Also thanks to those of you who have decided to follow and favorite this story.
A reminder that my purpose here in this AU tale , is to take the rather bizare story line of Season 8 and provide a plausible outcome. I always thought Marlowe had a great idea, always liked the characters. But that the current writers didn't really appear to understand the heart of his story idea.
Some have suggested that Stana Katic is to blame for the current Beckett. I don't know much about her, but have heard her say on several occasions, when questioned about the shows future, "It's not my call." I chose to take her at her word.
Hope you enjoy.
A Fathers Love
Chapter 7
It was 8:45 PM when the the phone rang in the office. She glanced at the portable sitting on the coffee table, it read Lobby Security, " Hey Charlie."
"Ma'am there's a gentlemen here, he'd like to talk to you."
"Did he give you his name?" Her pulse quickening.
"He says he's a doctor, a friend of yours, Josh Davidson." She frowned, "Charlie tell him I'll be down in a couple of minutes."
She grabbed her coat and took the elevator down to the lobby. She was angry and embarrassed that he was at Castle's home. When she stepped out she could see Josh pacing. He turned when he heard the ding of the elevators arrival.
On the brief ride down she had shifted to full cop mode, she walked up to him and with out a greeting, "Josh what the hell are you doing here?" Her eyes flaring in anger.
He stepped back, his eyes going wide, "Kate I...I just wanted to talk to you."
"Josh, this is the home I share with my husband, you have no right to be here." Her words were hard and clipped.
He didn't speak for few beats, then looked over at Charlie, whose head was down as he read something on the desk in front of him, "Can we go outside?"
She didn't answer but bolted through the doors and was out on the sidewalk in seconds. He was startled by her sudden departure and made followed. Once out, he made walked up to her, with a frown, "I would not have come by if this was where you and your husband live...all of New York knows otherwise...this your loft."
At the words she spun as anger was replaced with rage. For a second he wondered if she was going to hit him. She remained silent and looked out across the wide street, finally back at him, "What do you want Josh?"
"I just want to talk to you. Just give me five minutes."
She disregards his plea, knowing full well where he was going and what he wanted, "There's nothing to talk about." Voice still flat, hard.
"Kate, five minutes, it won't kill you. After that I'll be done and gone. I promise."
She was pacing back and forth on the sidewalk in front of the building. He was a few steps behind her. He reasoned since she hadn't gone back inside, he give it a go, "Kate, I meant what I said at the hospital! Consider us," his hands held out, "We're the same type of people. We don't need hand-holding. We can sleep anywhere..don't need the comfort of someone next to us every minute...we do our own thing," He let out a small laugh, "We don't need a house and a white picket fence. We're not that fragile." He waited for her to affirm his points but she said nothing.
"Kate, I don't have to wake up every morning with you beside me, don't need you to do laundry for me, or cook. I just want to know when I come home...from wherever in the world, that you'd be there."
"Josh, I'm married...and I'm in a rough spot...this is not the time for this conversation."
"I know, I know...but as you try to figure things out...just don't exclude me from some future equation." He stopped and looked up at the dark sky, "Kate we were good together, until he came along and filled your head with..."
She stopped dead in her tracks and squared off with him, "I love him...I don't have anything to give anyone else...he has it all."
The doctor seemed frozen to the sidewalk, her words had ended this conversation, he'd misread her heart. This was pointless.
She stood on the sidewalk for several minutes after he said good-bye, then slipped into the night. Tears erupted over his words, we don't need hand holding, she would give everything she had for her husbands hand in hers right this minute...don't need to wake up every morning to someone, a sob shook her...that was wrong, she did...she needed and wanted to wake-up to Castle...to never be alone...never away from him again. She wanted to fix him breakfast, take him a cup of coffee. But all that was gone.
When she returned to the building the greeting from the doorman was nearly the same, but laced with a trace of concern. Beckett considered that this man who had worked for her husband for years, but, in just over a year Castle was gone and she now owned the loft. To her, the whole situation drips with ugliness. She wondered if he was simply restraining his contempt for her. She wished she was more composed, that tears and red eyes were not her companions, but she stopped at the desk, needing to fix this, to fix something, if she could.
"Charlie, thank you, for your concern and for not letting him come up stairs."
"Ms. Beckett, this is your home, I'm simply the gate-keeper."
"No," but her voice cracked and came out raspy, "This is Castle's home and..." Then tears interrupted her words, "I would give anything for him to be here."
The man said nothing but held her gaze, seeing her fresh tears and reddening eyes, "Charlie I'm sorry...sorry that he came by...he had no right to even be here." She paused trying to reign in her emotions, "I love my husband...I'd do anything to fix things..."
The tears were flowing and no matter how hard she tried, she could not restrain them. She ordered her feet to move, but they refused. In her embarrassment she decided to just stare at the floor. Then in her line of vision, she saw Charlie's hand, offering a Kleenex. As she looked up, she could see warmth flooding his eyes, he spoke softly, like to a hurt child, reverently, "I will pray for you and Mr. Castle."
After dabbing at the tears, she whispered, "Thank you Charlie. Thank you...good night.'"
"Goodnight ma'am." He watched as the sad figure made her way to the elevator, and was gone.
XX
When she walked into the loft, she took a deep breath, closed the front door and leaned against it. She tilted her head back as she looked up at the ceiling. She heard herself moan. After a couple of minutes of just standing there, trying not to think, she made her way to the kitchen and poured a glass of wine. It made her smile, and then her chest constricted and she was gasping for air. The tears are back, because he...he left behind her favorite wine. Even while escaping her, his concern was for her. As she turned and saw her reflection in the microwave's dark glass door, she mumbled, "You stupid bitch."
She found it easier to close her eyes and imagine the loft as it looked before he erased his history from every surface and wall. She sat in the dark, curled on the sofa trying not to think, it had been nearly an hour since Josh Davidson had left, she could hear herself sighing, over and over. Her rambling thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door, she grumbled, "Really, who could this be at this hour? How did they get past Charlie."
As she stood she felt her pulse race, thinking, hoping maybe it was him. She opened the door and Alexis Castle was standing before her, looking back towards the elevator as though she is about to leave, but then she turned to face Kate when she heard the door open.
"Alexis..." Beckett finds herself without words, she has no idea what to say, her anxiety ratcheting up, "Come in."
The red-head stepped in, but only took three steps and came to a dead stop. Beckett almost collided with her, but swerved just in time.
"Alexis, please come in, sit down." She then studies her step-daughter, as Alexis slowly made her way to one of the chairs, one of their chairs, but she sits on it like she doesn't want to overstep, like she's afraid to make too much contact.
Beckett suddenly notices how dark the room, she stood and turned on the lights, "Sorry it's so dark in her, can I get you anything?"
"No thank you. I just needed to drop by for a moment...sorry it's so late."
"I've missed you Alexis." But seeing only cold indifference from her guest.
"I...I don't believe you...you haven't called me once in over two months Kate."
"Alexis...it's been very..."
"Kate, not one phone call, in two months?"
"Alexis..."
But she's cut off, "Kate, I need to say this," Taking a deep breath, "I've watched as you've hurt my dad over and over." Her voice cracking slightly, "What did he ever do to you, besides love you? Why...are you so cruel to him?"
"I'm not trying to be cruel Alexis."
"Have you seen how he lives? Like a hermit, a wounded animal. Have you ever seen a dog that's been beat? How it shy's away...well that's my dad...and it's at your hands."
Beckett started to speak, but Alexis pressed on, "I thought he was going to die after you were shot...but you let him suffer. The when you went off to DC...again...you let him suffer. Why, so you could pursue your dreams. Until they didn't work."
"Alexis, I want him to be safe, I don't want him in danger, and I can't take the chance that..."
"That's bull Kate, he's never been safe with you...never...just happy. You married him knowing there'd be danger. But...but again you up and disappear." She just shakes her head.
"Alexis..."
"Kate, I don't think you two will ever recover from this...this thing you've done. I think you killed his love, finally...you've tortured him for the last time." She stood and walked over to the sofa, standing over her step-mom, "But if you guys somehow fix this mess... I'm...we're done. I cannot forgive you knowing you'll just do it again."
Beckett sat and stared up at the terrible pain reflected in her step-daughter's eyes. The wonderful times they'd had together, the meals, movies, games they'd shared in this very room. And now, it was all dashed to the floor, broken, unrepairable. She wanted to explain that she had acted out of love for Castle, but it sounded hollow. She knew nothing she would say would calm the anger this young woman felt.
Alexis turned and started towards the door, then turned back, "You were my hero Kate... I'd never met anyone like you. I believed your promises, I wanted to believe, but now I wonder how I could have been so wrong." She looked around the loft, sadness reflected in her eyes, "Enjoy our home, enjoy my dad's money...I hope you got all you wanted."
"Alexis, you're like a daughter to me, I don't want to lose you or your dad."
Clearly angry, her reply was harsh, "I'll already had one mother who treated me like dirt, I don't need another."
Kate's head dropped on the last words. She heard the front door close. She was alone again, in this private purgatory.
XX
Jim Beckett studied the coffee in his mug, he'd been talking about 'his Katie,' "When she was about eight or nine years old, she and a neighbor decided they'd ride a bike down a steep hill. But they only had one bike. Kate said she would sit on the handle bars and the friend would steer and brake."
"Let me guess," Castle smiled and shook his head, "Lots of blood."
"Got that right. Katie had cuts and scrapes on her elbows, and all over her hands and knees."
"And the driver?"
"She got the worst of it. The handle bar didn't have a hand-grip on one side, when they fell, the end of the bar dug deeply into the palm of her hand. She was OK after a few stitches, but it could of been a lot worse. But the bigger problem was Kate and her mom. I thought Johanna was going to kill her. Not for being stupid, but for being stubborn."
Castle looked at his father-in-law like he didn't understand.
The senior Beckett continued, "Her mom could not convince her that she needed to think about things before doing them. Katie told her she did, but that she should have been steering. In made her mother see red."
"Let me guess, you had to step-in?"
"Nope, I learned early-on, when those two were warring, just stay out it."
"And how did your wife handle it?"
"She didn't, it ended up in a draw. Katie was put in time-out for an hour for punishment, but she sat for two hours without saying a word. Once she got up, she told her mother, 'If I'd been steering, it would have been fine.'"
They had met to talk about one of the cases Castle was working on for Beckett. The assignment made Castle smile. There wasn't a lot to do, but he was pretty certain her father was just trying to keep him close. He'd seen more of Jim Beckett in the last six weeks than in the last two years. After more small talk and a refill, Castle asked, "And the moral of your story?"
"If there are two ways to do something, my daughter will chose the most difficult, and often unreasonable path. She's smart, but she's often side-tracked by her stubbornness."
"Jim, I can't help her...she doesn't want my help...she's off on her own, again." His words were forced and carried a sense of resignation, he waited a few beats, and looked at the older man, "She told her mom, 'If I'd been steering,' well she is."
"Rick, she loved her mom dearly, but they always clashed. Just two bull-headed people. My daughter loves you, she's just stuck on stupid...but please, don't give up on her."
XX
Beckett was emotionally drained by her terrible evening with the visits of Josh and Alexis. She had slept poorly, waking twice looking for Castle and then realizing where she was, where her life had gone. She ended up late for work.
The day had been unproductive mainly because of what she thought of as 'her pending inquisition.' It was set for 4 pm at 1PP. She'd looked at her watch a hundred times, caught between, wanting the hands to stop and wanting the time to pass quickly so she could just get it over.
At 3:55 she was ushered into the office of her former Captain. While they both held the same rank, Captain Gates was much further up the chain in her position as an assistant to a Deputy Director.
"Captain Beckett, I called you here because of these." Gates leaned forward and dropped the two Page Six articles in front of Beckett.
"Sir, I had nothing to do with these. I was as surprised as you." She looked up to see Gates raising her eye brow.
"I understand you do not control the press." A long pause as she looks down at the newspapers, "What concerns me, is content of the stories and their timing."
"Sir?"
"Captain Beckett, do I look stupid?"
"No sir." Beckett could feel the heat on her spine. Her clothes felt to heavy, and too tight. She wondered if someone has cranked up the heat, just for her visit.
"Well I feel stupid, and there are people on the floors above me, who are looking at me like I'm the village idiot."
Beckett started to speak but decided against it.
"When we go through the process of selecting someone for a promotion, we do our vetting as throughly as possible. But I'll confess, I did not vet you on your marriage." Gates glared at her, " Why do you think that was?"
"I don't know sir."
"You don't know?" Beckett saw the veins on Gates temple bulge, her eyes tighten and steeled herself for the storm. "I have never been crazy about your husband. But, I have never met a man more dedicated to someone, than he is to you. This news, those photographs are personally painful for me to see."
She reeled at the words this was not what she expected, she feared her world would spin off its axis. Her eyes immediately burned, she dropped her head and bit the side of her cheek, pushing back against the swell of emotions. She could not cry in this setting.
Gates could see she had hit a nerve, had nearly broken her young Captain. She did not want that. She just wanted this fixed. As she continued, she ramped down the anger and frustration. "I don't know how much in these articles is true...I am not interested in an airing of your personal difficulties. My purpose today is to minimize the impact this has upon the Department and, your work at the 12th. There is no law that says you have to be married or cannot divorce. We understood you're married to a public figure, and what comes with that. Do you understand Captain?"
"I do sir."
"The thing you should take away today, is that all eyes are on you. While you cannot stop the press, you should avoid anything that would encourage them."
"I understand sir."
"Good," Gates leaned across and picked up the newspapers. She swiveled in her chair and tossed them on the credenza behind her. "One last thing Captain." She paused, making sure she had Beckett's attention, "There are thousands of women in this Department who dream, yes dream, of the opportunity you've been given. There are students who look at the female leadership of the NYPD and consider careers with us. Your work, your life, and even your problems impact many more people than you could ever imagine. Always consider the reputation of those who wear the blue, of those you represent." Gates stood and extended her hand.
Putting on her best face, "Thank you sir."
XX
She dialed frantically as she sat in the police cruiser. There was no answer, so she left a message, "Dad, it's me, please call when you have a minute."
She sat for the next five minutes and watched her hands shake. She was so screwed. She was in fact screwed on more levels than she ever even contemplated. This was out of control. She needed her best friend, but was afraid he would not respond. Grabbing her phone, she typed out the text and pushed send: Rick, I need to talk to you. I'm coming to Staten Island tomorrow evening. KB
XX
Gina Cowell always printed a new chapter when it was emailed to her. She liked the feel of paper in hand, liked to flip the papers, study the document. She would get a cup of coffee, her red pen, and start editing. When she finished the last chapter she flung it away, growling, "Richard Castle I'm going to kill you." She picked up her phone and dialed.
He had counted. She had called seven times in one hour. Castle has missed the first call, and after the second and third call, decided not to even answer. He had sent over the last three chapters of the book early that morning. He didn't think a response would take too long.
Gina had obviously arrived at work around 8:30. She was a fast reader so by 9:00 she had probably read it all twice. The first call came at 9:02 am.
By 10:15 he decided he would have to talk to her. He hit the speed dial number and waited, but not for long.
"Damn you Rick! Damn you!"
"Gina." Stretching out his greeting.
"Don't Gina me. I'm your agent, you get that! Your agent, I'm suppose to make things smoother, better for you and then you blindside me with this? Why?"
"Gina, let me..."
Cutting him off again, "Since the day that woman walked into your life, you've been whipped and beat-up by her. It's disgusting, and now just because she's run-off, you commit literary hari-kari? Why would you give her that satisfaction?"
"I am not committing hari-kari."
"Well what would you call it?"
"Gina you act like I don't know how to write! Like I need Nikki Heat to survive. Well I don't. Have you forgotten Derrick Storm? How many books did we do? How many did we sell?"
"Yeah! And you almost ruined your career."
"That's a crock! My career was not in danger."
"Really, you don't call the 18 months of zip, a danger? Do you think you're going to live forever Rick?"
"I know what I'm doing."
"No you don't!" She was silent for a full minute, but he could hear her breathing. He knew she was just fuming, "Fine, you're the author, let me indulge this fantasy of yours. Tell your confused agent, just briefly, your idea for the next book? Because I need a next book, and you just gave away $2.4 million, if Page Six is right. So that means, you need one too! Tell me your plan!"
She waited, but he said nothing. Finally she gave up, "Tell you what, consider this! Start re-writing the end to the book...because I don't see this thing being published." She ended the call.
Castle flopped his head against the back of the sofa. He expected her to be even more angry, which worried him. For all the calls, she didn't vent very long. Didn't threaten as much as he was used to, still her brevity worried him. He wanted to argue, but she uncharacteristically, didn't.
His phone shook, it was a text from Gina: Meeting, BP, 9:30 am Monday morning, bring your lawyer.
As he stared at the phone, about to call Brent, it shook again, Do not forget, one week from tonight, BP event for Driving Heat, black tie, get a date or Kiyoko will accompany you.
XX
At the 12th the morning had been quiet. They'd been working some old cases when the call came in, a body had dropped. Espo and his new partner took the lead, Beckett followed about 45 minutes later. When she arrived at the scene, she could see the tape was up and the area looked secured. The ME and the forensic team were at work.
She exited her car, walked toward the police barrier. Esposito saw her as she approached and walked over to talk. Just as she stepped under the tape, a reporter called out, "Captain Beckett, what do you have to say about the Page Six articles?"
Beckett turned to glare the reporter away but noticed there was an unusually large group present today, another asked, "Did you really get two and a half mil?" Then a third voice, "Will you keep the Soho loft or sell it?"
Beckett had gotten her fill, "This is a crime scene, someone was just killed and we're working to solve their murder! This homicide is the only issue today. We don't have enough information at this time, and you're delaying our work. Just give us the time to do our work, without interruption, you'll be brought up to speed. Now allow my teams to do their jobs." She turned and walked away.
The reporters ignored her statement, and several yelled out questions to her back, "Is your Ex the loser they say he is?" From another, "Was he cheating?" Then, "Or did you just get tired of him?"
She wanted to turn back and punch someone, instead she bit her lip and held back the reservoir of profanities dancing on the tip of her tongue. Without acknowledging what had just transpired she asked Esposito, "What do we have here?"