AN: I have no life so you guys get 2 chapters in one day again. Enjoy chapter 7 and don't forget to review. If you guys don't review how will I know whether or not to keep writing this tragedy?

Disclaimer: Last time I checked my name isn't Dan Schneider so I guess that means I don't own Victorious.

Jade's POV

I rushed my way through the building, out the front doors, towards the parking lot, and to my car. I ripped the door open and slammed it shut behind me before allowing an angry howl to escape me lips.

Why was I still letting everything Beck said affect me? Why was I getting so pissed and jealous every time he and Shiloh were alone? I was acting ridiculous. Shiloh wasn't a threat. She told me many times she had absolutely no interest in Beck. Why didn't I believe her? Why was I bothered by it, anyway? Beck and I were nothing now.

I roared again, this one coming out painfully. Pain is what I wanted, what I needed, what I deserved. I was just as terrible as I let people believe. I slammed my forehead into the steering wheel.

I was alarmed by a tapping sound on my window. I turned to my left to see a sad Shiloh standing there. I growled and rolled down the window. "What?" I shouted at her. For some reason I wasn't as satisfied as I thought I would be to see her flinch and step back.

She looked at her feet and then back at me. "I'm sorry. Beck wouldn't have said anything to you if he wasn't trying to defend me," she whimpered and looked away from me.

I looked at my hands that were wrapped tightly around the steering wheel. I plugged in my car keys and started the engine. "Get in," I demanded.

Shiloh nodded her head and climbed into the passenger seat.

I put on my seatbelt and sped out of the Hollywood Arts parking lot. We drove around in silence, even the radio was off. I kept going until we reached my house. No cars were in the driveway which meant my dad was working and his new little wife was probably out shopping, wasting away his money.

I parked and climbed out of the car as quickly as I could. Shiloh followed behind me with caution. I unlocked and opened the front door, slamming it closed once Shiloh made it inside.

A little black Pomeranian ran over to us and immediately started its yapping, a sound that made me want to stab myself in the ears. All I did was look in its direction for the barking rat to cower away.

Shiloh let out a giggle from beside me.

I glared at her and started walking upstairs to my bedroom, Shiloh trailing behind me. I kicked open the door and threw my purse on the bed before slumping in my chair. I looked up at Shiloh who was standing awkwardly in the doorway. I stood, pointed to the chair, and groaned, "Sit."

I didn't wait for her to obey. I just walked passed her and back down the stairs. I made a pit stop at my dad's liquor cabinet. After little thought, I took out a full bottle of good ole Jameson's Irish whiskey.

I ran back up the stairs, into my bedroom, and shut the door behind me. Shiloh stared at me as I plopped down on my bed and opened the bottle.

"Jade, it's barely one in the afternoon," she pointed out.

I ignored her and took a sip of the burning liquid. The pain that shot down my throat as I swallowed was more than satisfactory.

After a few moments of silence and a few more shots on my half, Shiloh sauntered over to me and yanked the bottle out of my grasp.

I glared at her and hollered, "What gives?"

She screwed the cap back on and set the bottle down in the chair before sitting next to me on my bed. "Jade, why are you acting like this?" she asked sincerely, placing a light hand on my arm. The delicate touch sent shockwaves through the sleeve of my leather jacket and left goosebumps on my arm.

I smiled at her and seethed, "Like you don't know?" I stood up and walked back to my chair, taking the bottle and another shot.

"Is this about Beck?" she asked, as if she didn't already know. She stood from her spot on the bed and approached me cautiously. "Jade, I've told you before; I'm not interested in Beck."

I scoffed and downed another shot. "That doesn't change things," I mumbled, trying not to slur. "Even if you don't like him he obviously likes you more than a friend. Hell, almost every guy who meets you wants to date you."

"But I don't want to date any of them. I'm not seeing how there can be a problem with that if I show no interest," she whispered to herself.

I waved the bottle at her and growled, "You expect me to believe you're not interested in any of the guys who have been drooling over you, not even Beck?" I downed another shot of whiskey.

She threw her hands in the hair and exclaimed, "Jade, I expect you to trust me. It's what friends do. We're friends, right?" She looked at me pleadingly, sad eyes turning cold and hard.

I put the bottle down and stood up, stumbling a bit. I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. "Yes, we're friends," I said, more to myself than her. She was my friend, one of my best friends. And I was the one dragging her around, stepping on her, and accusing her.

Shiloh smiled weakly at me. "Then you can trust me, Jade," she said as if it were the most simple and obvious thing in the world.

The mask I was wearing cracked and broke just then. My eyes started to sting and my bottom lip quivered. I shook my head and hugged Shiloh as tightly as I could. I dug my nails into her biceps and rested my head in the crook of her neck. We just stood there, her holding me while I was pouring all of my pain into her at once. All the tears I tried holding back were spilling out of my eyes now.

Shiloh gently rubbed my back with one hand and stroked my hair with the other. She held me tighter with each thick sob the escaped me being. The entire time she kept silent.

My sobs quieted, becoming nothing but sniffles now. I still clung to Shiloh for dear life. A part of me didn't believe she was real and I wanted to prove that part wrong. As son as my body stopped trembling, I pulled myself away from her. The action felt similar to that of ripping off a band aid.

I grabbed hold of her face, cheeks growing warm at my touch, and pulled it to me until our foreheads were touching. "Shiloh, you're so sweet, so wonderful. I don't deserve a friend like you," I whispered to her.

Shiloh grabbed a hold of my wrists and pulled my hands from her face. She raised one finger and pressed it to my lips, taking a step back to leave space between us. She took a hold of one of my wrists again and led me back to the bed.

I sat down on the mattress and removed my jacket. Underneath I was wearing a black tank top. My arms were bare and I could feel Shiloh's eyes trace the skin that was previously mutilated.

She sat down on my left and took my scarred arm in her hands. She ran a finger over the striped skin gingerly. The touch sent shivers down my spine and more shockwaves through my body. "Jade" she mumbled.

My head snapped and I faced her at the call of my name.

She smiled softly and said, "I'm here, no matter what. Just promise me that next time you want to do this, you'll talk to me first."

I nodded and smiled weakly at her.

Her smile grew and she stood up. "I'm going to go now. No more drinking, okay?" She gave me a warning look.

I sighed and nodded again. "Thank you," I breathed.

She opened the door, but turned around to face me before exiting. "Jade, you're beautiful, understand?" She said it sincerely and then left.

I nodded to myself and collapsed. I was exhausted. Before drifting to sleep I caught myself thinking of how close our faces were just a few minute ago. I pushed the thought away. Shiloh and I were friends, and friends don't think of friends like that. Even if that friend if drop dead gorgeous. Ugh, I needed to settle my priorities.