Warning-this is why it's rated M. Don't own SGA, or any of it's characters. The character Miranda Baxter is mine.
This is the first sex scene I've ever written, so hopefully it's OK. It seemed a bit long to me.
As usual, dreams are all in italics. John's thoughts throughout the story are in italics. Enjoy!
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Chapter 7
"M28-364." Major Lorne consulted his datapad to see which mission was up next for discussion and assignment.
"The Ancient database doesn't say much about this one. It's possible there could be a civilization there, so it should go to your team or mine." Sheppard was tossing a ball into the air and catching it. Duty roster and mission assignment meetings are not at the top of his list of things he enjoys.
He's enjoyed it more since Lorne convinced him that Randi should join them, as she could often sense what might be waiting for them on the planet in question. They all agreed to take her insights/visions/whatever-it-was into consideration, but to continue to base final mission priority and decisions on their usual criteria (which, in all honesty, was flexible anyway). From what Lorne and Stackhouse had told him, the SGC had come to put a lot of stock into what Randi's intel told them, and had begun assigning missions with her advice. Randi herself cautioned against that, saying that she was no where near as accurate and as detailed as she was "pre-Sekhmet," as she liked to call it. While John would love more detail, he had to admit he was impressed with her accuracy. He figured she was being too hard on herself, again, because of the Go'uld. It made her question herself and John ached for her because of it. It led him to wonder if the lack of detail in her statements about what she saw waiting for them was accurate. He sometimes thought he saw more in her eyes, followed by doubt.
Lorne nodded. "I'll put your team down for it. My team is supposed to check up with the kid planet."
"Sounds good. Make sure to take Zalenka. He loves those kids."
Lorne chuckled at Sheppards wicked grin. "So I've heard, Sir."
Randi tapped Lorne's datapad. "We'll need bug spray for that one."
John missed the ball and it hit the table with a thump. He leaned forward and narrowed his eyes at her. "Bug spray? What kind of bugs are we talking about? Big bugs? Nasty bugs? Lots of bugs?"
Randi's eyes got wider as she listened to him. "Wow, okay. Bug phobia. Uh, I don't know. I just know there will be bugs." She screwed up her face in concentration and Sheppard waited anxiously for more bug intel. When all she said was, "I need to go on this mission," Sheppard's anxiety level stayed up.
Lorne didn't even try to hide the grin on his face. "You know, Sir, the kids were asking about you the last time we checked on them. Maybe we should switch?"
John gave his 2IC a grateful look. "Sure. Sounds good. I know McKay misses those kids."
dream...
He ran his fingers through her hair and cupped the back of her head. His other arm was already around her shoulders, from where they were sitting on the couch. As a joke, he had made an obvious show of the I-have-to-yawn-so-I'll-put-my-arm-behind-you-and-act-like-I-didn't-plan-it move that he last used as a sophomore in high school. When she didn't laugh, he had looked over to see her giving him a look that could only be described as sultry. Most of his blood had run south and he had turned towards her.
He was staring into her eyes and was surprised at what he saw there. Desire, need, hope, a little fear and something that was fleeting, but if he'd had to name it, he would have said love. He didn't think too much about that. He was too stunned by his own response. He knew his eyes were showing the same thing, and for the first time that he could recall, he didn't feel the need to hide it. He didn't want to hide. He wanted her to see everything.
When her eyes widened slightly, he knew she had seen what he still had a hard time voicing. He leaned in and gently pressed his lips to hers. Wrapping one arm around his waist and squeezing his bicep with the other she pulled him towards her. He lightly traced her lips with his tongue and when she opened for him, he kept his touch light and teasing. He wanted to take this slow, to make sure he gave her all the pleasure he thought she was worth. Randi had other ideas though, and John wasn't about to argue. She slid her hand over his shoulder and into his hair, pulling him closer, taking control of the kiss with her tongue. He leaned into her and moaned. Leaning her against the back of the couch, he swung one leg between hers and she immediately wrapped her far leg around it, pinning him close to her.
As his tongue became more active and dueled with hers, he brushed his fingers over her cheek and down her neck. He moved his hand further down, lightly palming her breast through her shirt and bra. Her mouth became more needy and he pressed his hand just a bit harder to her, before moving to her side and sliding over her hip and down her thigh. Grasping her leg behind her knee, he held her leg tighter to his. She picked up on what he wanted quickly and pulled her leg harder against his, forcing his groin further into her hip. It was an awkward angle, but it felt so damn good. Her hands were moving too, sliding over his back, around his waist. She grasped the hem of his shirt and pushed it up. Breaking the kiss long enough for her to pull his shirt over his head and toss it over the back of the couch, he leaned in again. She was quicker though and had her lips mouthing a spot just below and behind his ear.
He moaned again and a distant part of his brain wondered when he became so vocal. All conscious thought left him when her hands traced patterns down his chest, through the thick hair there. Sliding her hands around his waist, she began to rub his back. He kissed his way down her jaw and neck, sucking on her pulse point and feeling her shudder. He pulled away just enough to get his hands under her shirt and pull it off her. He studied her, the way her neck sloped to her chest, the subtle rise of her stomach and the way her breasts fill the black lace bra. He only has a second for his brain to register Black. Lace. and she pulls him in for another searing kiss. His hand covers her breast, feeling the sudden change of texture from lace to the smooth skin where the lace stops. He can feel her hard nipple through the lace and pinches it lightly between his thumb and forefinger.
He hears her whisper his name, "Johhhn," and kisses lightly at her breast, licking stripes along her skin where the lace ends. Just beginning to reach his other hand around to undo the clasp of the bra, because, as much as he loves black lace, he needs the feel of her, she lightly drags her nails up his spine. He hisses and arches his back into her touch. Oh God, he could almost come from that alone. Taking a deep breath to regain control, he pulls away just as she's about to do it again. He stands up quickly and pulls her with him. Their arms wrapped around each other, he slowly backs her up to the bed as they frantically kiss lips, necks, shoulders.
He stumbles a bit but somehow, they land on the bed, laughing together. Scooting up the bed, she leans over him, kissing him passionately, until they are both gasping for air. Randi moves over him and straddles his hips, sinking down enough that he bucks his hips up on instinct, just trying to get closer to her. Frustrated by the two pairs of BDUs between them, he is reaching to get them out of the way when he notices her hands are behind her back, unclasping her bra. She is staring at him with such an intensity, his hands freeze on her hips. She licks her lips and slowly slides the bra straps off, holding the cups in place with one arm so she is still covered. He's watching a show, one especially for him, and he can't stop his eyes from from trying to focus on her breasts and trying to take in the whole picture at once. When she finally tosses the bra away, her breasts are covered by her palms. She slowly rubs herself while watching him and christ, it is so hot. When she lets her hands drop, she runs them down her own sides, and then up his to settle on his pecs. He can't help but move his hands up her sides. His fingers brush hers on the way and it seems so intimate. Cupping her breasts, he lightly squeezes and rubs, the way he watched her do to herself. She arches her back and he puts one hand on the bed to brace himself, pushing himself up to lathe a nipple with his tongue. That earns him a strangled cry and she throws back her head, tangling her fingers in his hair.
He sucks and lightly nips, pulling on her nipple, caressing her breasts with his hand. He is achingly hard, but he doesn't want to move on just yet. The sounds she is making are an unbelievable turn-on to him and he wants to see what other sounds he can inspire. She is less patient though. "John! John... I need... I..." She pulls his face up to meet hers, breaking the suction of his mouth on her nipple. She devours his mouth in a searing kiss, then pulls away and shoves him back on the bed. He closes his eyes and goes with the sensations she creates in him as she kisses her way down his chest. She brushes her nails over his nipples and then lightly sucks on one. He moans and relaxes into her touch.
She works his pants open as she teases his belly button with her tongue. Hooking her fingers in his waistband, she pulls his BDUs over his hips and down his thighs, dragging one nail down each thigh in the process. He helps by kicking his pants the rest of the way off and she smiles at his eagerness. She stands and slowly removes her own pants. John reaches out and runs his fingertips over the lace panties, pressing his thumb downward and circling her clit. She sighs in pleasure, and he pulls the last of her clothes over her hips and they hit the floor. Crawling back on the bed, she brushes a nipple over the underside of his toe and he never knew how erotic that could be. Kissing the inside of his ankle, and caressing the outside of his legs, she makes her way up his body. Randi is giving his inner thighs a lot of attention and is rubbing her palms over his hipbones. His cock is straining and the material of his boxers is becoming uncomfortable. Finally, she grasps the elastic of his boxers and carefully lifts it over his erection, pulling the material down and off his legs.
She's back to kissing his hipbones and stroking her hands up his sides and chest and he's nearly ready to beg for more when she grins at him and draws out his name, "John." He meets her eyes as she leans down to lick a stripe from the base of his cock to the head, swirling her tongue around the tip. He hears a deep groan and realizes it's him. "Randi, please, please..." She continues to watch him as she teases the tip of his penis with her tongue. Just when he thinks he'll lose his mind if she doesn't do more right now, she suddenly takes him in and all his sensation comes down to the wet heat of her mouth around him. "Oh, God, yes!" She sets a fast pace, bobbing her head up and down his shaft, sucking hard and moaning around him. One of her hands rubs his chest through his hair and when she cups her other hand around his sac and moans around him again, he comes hard and bucks up into her mouth on instinct, crying out. She swallows around him as he comes and then lets him slide out of her mouth. He watches, lazily running his fingers through her hair, as she gently licks the head and then presses a gentle kiss there.
She comes to lay beside him and puts her head on his shoulder. She giggles at the far away look on his face. "Are you okay?" Her voice is a little rough and he finds that incredibly sexy.
"Better than okay. God, Randi, that was... wow."
"Glad you liked it." He looks down to find her smiling up at him. Smiling back, he traces her swollen lips with his fingertip. He tilts his head and kisses her, a long and slow kiss that builds in passion and depth as he rolls her on her back and leans over her. John can taste himself and he delves deeper into her mouth. His hand traces patterns down her neck and breast. When she pulls back, gasping for air, he lets his lips and tongue follow his hand. Lightly rolling her nipple between his thumb and fingers and stroking the underside of her breast, he begins to suck on her other nipple. She arches her back up into him and tangles her fingers in his hair, leaning down to kiss the top of his head.
John raises his hips and moves so he is between her legs. Putting his weight down on her, he feels her open her thighs more for him and then, God, his groin is against her and she is so wet and warm. He can't get it up again just yet, but that doesn't stop his groan. He can hear her whispering his name and she starts to move her hips under him, seeking that touch. Leaving her breasts, he strokes his hands down her sides and over her hips. He reaches under her and cups her ass, squeezing for a moment and lifting her hips up to him, teasing her, like she did to him. He presses a chaste kiss to the hair between her legs and then slides his hands down the outside of her thighs. With his hands behind her knees, he pulls her legs up so her feet are flat on the bed and close to her butt. He kneels between her feet and rakes his eyes over her body. She is wide open for him, and is staring at him with desire, her breasts rising and falling as she breathes hard with her arousal. "You are so beautiful," he whispers.
With a light touch, he slides his left hand down her right calf and lifts it to bring her foot to his shoulder. He uses his palms and fingertips to make long strokes up and down her leg, almost reaching her center, but pulling back just short of it. She is biting her bottom lip and lifting her hips in invitation, moaning each time he comes close. He lifts her leg off his shoulder and kisses his way down the inside of her calf and thigh. At the top of her inner thigh, he licks straight from her thigh to her opening, teasing it with the tip of his tongue. "John! Please, God, yes, please John!" She is panting and writhing beneath him and he presses in just a bit more, enjoying her taste. He moves his tongue up to her clit and licks at it with short, teasing strokes. He can't get enough of the sounds she is making. He hears her moaning and murmuring his name over and over, gasping when his tongue does something she really enjoys. He sees her move her hand to rub where her hip meets her thigh and he lightly bats her hand away. He rubs the same spot for her and she rewards him with a deep moan that starts his erection building. His tongue becomes more forceful and she starts lifting her hips to meet his mouth and he lightly rubs over her opening with his fingers. He starts to lightly suck on her clit and she cries out and entwines her fingers in his hair. Pushing two fingers into her, he sucks harder on her clit, teasing it with his tongue. His eyes open wide with the force of her orgasm. She is screaming his name, lifting her hips to him and writhing under his touch. Her eyes glow.
When he crawls back up her body, she grabs his face and pulls him in for a kiss that is sloppy and wet and hotter than hell. He is hard and he knows he'll come if she so much as touches him. He softens the kiss, and gets himself under control. When he pushes up, she is panting and running her hands over his shoulders and chest. He wraps one arm behind her shoulders, lifting her closer to him. She angles her hips and he can feel himself at her entrance. He meets her eyes and slowly pushes into her, not stopping until he is all the way inside her. Randi gasps and her mouth opens in a silent o. It takes every ounce of control, but he holds still for a moment so she can adjust to him, because damn, she is tight.
After a moment, she lifts her hips, just a bit, and he starts to move. Thrusting in and out of her, they find a rhythm after a moment. He gets lost in the heat of her, how wet and tight she is around him. All he hears is his own ragged breathing, her cries of pleasure with every thrust into her and the sound of their bodies meeting. John leans in to kiss her and when his tongue meets hers, he knows what bliss is. Her tongue in his mouth and himself sheathed in her-it feels like heaven. Suddenly, she is arching her back, clenching herself around him and screaming "John, John!" Feeling her come around him brings his own orgasm and he rides it out, deep inside her, as she wraps her legs around him and pulls him even closer. When he collapses on her, she drags her nails up his spine, as the last shudders of release pass through him.
Later, she is dozing in his arms, her head on his chest and he wonders why he waited so long with her.
end of dream.
John smacks his alarm a couple times before it mercifully shuts up. He throws his arm over his eyes and thinks holy shit. That was hot. He can't recall ever having a sex dream that erotic or detailed. And when he moves, he realizes why. His boxers are sticky and checking the bed, he finds two separate wet spots on his sheets. He knows he's never come twice from a wet dream before.
After his run and a shower (his second one of the morning), he stands in line in the mess and then looks around for his team. He stifles a groan when he sees the only open seat is across from Randi, as Zalenka has joined them and is sitting across from McKay. Teyla and Rodney are deep in a discussion over an Athosian belief about the meaning of being conceived under certain constellations. Rodney is trying to explain that on Earth, the belief is more focused on what constellation you are born under, but that it doesn't matter because it's all bullshit anyways. Teyla is more tolerant than most, but Ronon jumps in and begins to threaten Rodney with more sparring lessons, without padding, if he doesn't behave himself.
"Oh, get over yourself, Conan. Teyla just finished telling me that she doesn't believe in that stuff either."
"Doesn't matter. You shouldn't insult her people like that." Ronon pointed a piece of toast at McKay to emphasize his point.
"Please, I was insulting my people too. Though, I'd hardly want to claim people who believe in that voodoo. And Sheppard, why are you staring at Randi like that?"
Oh, shit. Damn McKay and his lack of social niceties. "Sorry, didn't realize I was." Liar. You might as well stand up and show the whole mess your hard-on.
Randi gave him a soft smile. "No problem. We'll call it lack of caffeine and a need to focus on something other than McKay this early in the morning." She gave Rodney a pointed look.
"What? What did I do?"
"Rodney, you will never learn," Zalenka shook his head.
John finally got through his medical check and went to head for his shower. Though, he wasn't really the one who needed it. The kids had been fascinated by Ronon's dreads and he was the one they chose to decorate today. John thinks he looks like a painting he saw once of a man turning into a tree. There are twigs and leaves sticking out of his hair and he has green paint on his face and streaked down his arms. He took it in good graces and had fun playing with the little kids, but he's not as patient with Rodney, who's snapping pictures of him and threatening to post them on the Atlantis server for everyone to use as a screensaver. Teyla and John are watching with smiles for their teammates antics. All-in-all, a good and peaceful mission.
Chuck hails him on the radio to tell him that Lorne's team is an hour late checking in from M28-364. Telling Ronon not to hurt Rodney too badly, he heads for the control room. I should have known. Today was turning out so nice. Just wouldn't be Pegasus if something didn't happen. Reaching the control room at the same time as Woolsey, he is just in time for the gate to open on a dial-in from the planet. "Major Lorne's IDC. Lowering the shield," Chuck reports. Zalenka is standing behind him and John idly wonders what needed repaired.
John heads down the stairs and meets the team as they come through the gate. "Major, you're late."
"Yes, Sir. Had a little excitement."
"A little excitement? That thing was not little! God, I need a shower. It's disgusting!" John watched as a shudder passed over Randi. She headed out of the control room, running her hands through her dark hair.
"Infirmary first, Baxter!" Lorne yelled after her.
"Major?"
"We found something, Sir, but you're not going to like it."
Dr. Hensen was new to Atlantis and the SGC. He was sent because he had the gene and, while he shows promise, John finds him a little too excitable. He's an entomologist and joined the mission because Baxter thought there might be bugs. Well, more bugs than usual. "Colonel, it's really fascinating. Look!" Before Lorne could stop him, he unwraps the jacket that he was carrying bundled in his arms.
John hears a squeal and he's a little afraid it might have come from him. He jumps back and pulls his 9mm, aiming it at the thing lying in the jacket. Trying hard to keep his voice steady, he yells at his 2IC. "Major, that better not be what I think it is. And, if it is, why the fuck would you bring an iratus bug to Atlantis?"
"It's dead, Sir. Really, it is." Lorne used the end of his P90 and prodded the large insect, but it did not respond. "I know we shouldn't have just carried it back like this, but there were more following us and I didn't want to risk having to go back for it."
"Why did you want to get it in the first place?" Woolsey had joined them, but was standing a respectable distance away from Dr. Hensen and his new pet. Zalenka was also there, looking between Lorne and the insect with a mixture of curiosity and horror.
"Because of how it died, Sir. It bit Randi. Then it fell off and died."
"Don't forget the screeching, Major. It made a most remarkable sound before it died." Hensen was enjoying this way too much and Lorne couldn't help but roll his eyes.
"Alright. Take it to a containment bay in the infirmary," Woolsey directed.
Lorne fought hard to keep a straight face during the short walk to the infirmary. His CO was walking backwards, so that he was positioned in front of Dr. Hensen. He kept his weapon sighted on the insect and his eyes narrowed suspiciously. Lorne was wishing for a camcorder. Though Lorne had never before used it, he knew compromising or funny images of SGA1, especially Sheppard and McKay, could fetch high prices on the Atlantis black market.
They rounded the corner into the infirmary and Randi yelled at them. "Oh, no! You are not bringing that thing in here with me! Take it somewhere else."
Apparently, Hensen couldn't see what the problem was. "It's an insect. A dead one. See, it's harmless." He held it out to her.
"It's gross! That thing was crawling on my face!" Randi and John both shuddered. Randi raised her left hand, on which she always wore her Go'uld hand device when off-world. "Get it away from me or I'll use this, and it won't be on the bug!"
That got Hensen's attention and he carried it over to another section of the infirmary. Chuck had called for a containment crate and Hensen placed the insect in it and sealed it.
John set down next to Randi on the infirmary bed. They were both a little shaky, and lost in their own memories about the creature that was in the infirmary with them. John looked over to Randi, "Are you okay?" he asked softly.
"Yeah, I'll be okay. That thing just really creeps me out. I don't know how you managed to stay sane with it on you for so long."
"I wonder that myself sometimes, too. It's not something I like to think about a lot." He hesitantly placed his hand over hers. "Want to tell me what happened?"
She looked at their hands for a moment, and then slowly turned hers to wrap her fingers around his hand.
"We did some recon, didn't find anything, and were heading back to the gate when we came across a swarm of these things. Evan recognized them. We backtracked and went around, but some of them followed us. Hensen slowed down. He wanted to get a closer look or something," she shook her head in irritation, "and one of them jumped on him but I managed to get it off before it latched on. It went for me instead." She paused for a moment, still looking at their entwined hands. "I felt it bite my neck. It burned for a few seconds. Then I felt it shake. It fell off then and made this high-pitched sound that seemed to scare off the others. Then it stopped moving."
A part of John's brain was registering her story and processing it. Another part was thinking that he is finally touching her... in the infirmary with an iratus bug next door. Not exactly what was in my fantasies.
Keller comes in then and raises an eyebrow at their joined hands. Neither makes a move to change their position though and John is grateful. Knowing what those bugs can do, he wants this reassurance that Randi is okay.
"You're initial scan and bloodwork are coming back fine, so far. How do you feel?"
"Incredibly grossed out. Other than that, I feel fine."
Keller grinned. "I just peeked at it." She made a face. "It really is awful-looking."
"Don't remind me," John mumbled. Randi squeezed his hand.
"Dr. Hensen and I will be running tests to try to determine what happened to it. Do you have any idea what killed it?"
"It was after it bit me, so maybe it was allergic to me?" she joked. "I really don't know. Why is everyone so concerned about how it died?"
Keller explained. "The Wraith are descended from the iratus bug. If there is a way to kill the bug through the feeding process, or even just to make us immune to it, the same thing might work on the Wraith. It's a long shot, but it's worth a try."
dream...
He hears buzzing. "Stop thinking about it. It makes me think about them."
"Sorry! I can still feel it crawling on me."
"I can make you relax," he says, waggling his eyebrows and leaning over her, so she is forced to lay back on the pier.
"Really? Please, don't let me stop you."
He leans down and gently licks the spot it bit her. She shivers, but tenses rather than relaxes. He lays down next to her and turns her on her side next to him. "Look at me." He waits for her to meet his eyes. "You're okay. It's dead and you made it through just fine."
"I know, I just... I know it died because of Sekhmet and I'm sick of having her to thank for saving my life or keeping me healthy-" her voice was rising in agitation and he kissed her to quiet her.
"Don't thank her. Just... accept that she heals you as a kind of payment for what she puts you through. Like retribution."
"You said puts."
"Huh?"
"Puts me through. Present tense."
"Baby, I know you still struggle with her. With what she's done." He pulled her closer and she wrapped her arms around him then.
"Is that why you understand so well? Because you still struggle with what the Wraith and Genii have done to you?"
He froze. If it had been anyone else, he wouldn't have answered. He took a breath, "I guess so. It's always at the back of my mind, like..."
"Like a ghost haunting you." She didn't say it as a question. And she was right. It did feel like that.
"Yeah." He stroked her back and tucked her face into his neck. Placing a kiss to her dark hair, he thought about how far they would have to go to be what the city shrinks would call mentally healthy. But, here with her, he felt whole.
"So... baby?"
He could hear the smile in her voice and he smiled back. "Yeah, baby. That alright?"
"Sure is, darlin'."
He groaned. "Oh, no. No."
"No?" She looked up at him and laughed. "Sweetums?" He rolled his eyes. "Honey bear?" He glared at her. "Pookie?"
"What? No!" He relaxed when she laughed. He pulled her close again, mumbling "Pookie, I don't think so. I'm not a Pookie."
"I know you're not, Love."
He was still for a moment. "I like that one," he whispered.
He could feel her smile on his chest. "Me too, Love."
end of dream.
John knows he's crossed the line between a fairly harmless series of dreams into something more serious. Each night, he looks forward to sleep in a way he never did before. He's aware that it's not healthy and he should report himself to the city shrink. But, he rationalizes that it's not hurting anyone. Well, anyone besides himself. Keeping his dream-Randi separated from the real Randi is becoming more difficult and watching Randi with Lorne is about to drive him over the edge. He knows it's not his right, and that he should be happy for his friends if they are happy together, but after spending nearly every night with her, it's hard to watch the real her be with someone else.
On those nights that he doesn't dream of Randi, he wakes feeling depressed and short-tempered. There are some dreams that are... interrupted is the only word he can come up with for it. There are sounds, flashes of light and a low voice speaking Go'uld. When that happens, Randi always apologizes and then disappears.
He tells her things. Things he doesn't tell anyone else, even Rodney. His desires, his regrets, memories of his childhood, his hopes and his fears. The rational, waking part of him knows he is telling these things to his own subconscious, so no one will ever know. Another part of him wants her, this dream-version of her, to know him. He finally has someone that he wants to let in. He wants her to really know him. He wants to tell her everything, and that terrifies him. And the kicker is that she's not even real.
He's started going with them when they take Zalenka to explore the city. At first, Lorne seemed distant with him when he started joining them. But after a few trips, the four of them have developed a standard approach. Once they find something worth looking at, Zalenka does the scientific investigation while Lorne stands watch over him. Randi and John find a quiet corner to sit in and Randi has been teaching him how to better communicate with Atlantis. He still has a stronger and more quick control over Ancient tech and can get it to react faster than Randi or Lorne. But Randi has a way of communicating with the city that allows her to work with the city, not control it. John likens it to a feedback loop. She tells the city what she needs, the city tells her the options and then together, they come up with a solution. It allows her to come up with more creative solutions and allows certain protocols to be overridden. It is how she was able to close the doors when the pool flooded the corridor. Randi says it's like speaking with an AI. John asked if it was anything like Data on Star Trek TNG. She rolled her eyes and told him he's spending too much time with the scientists.
Two days after the incident with the iratus bug, Dr. Keller calls a meeting of the senior staff. As usual, they are waiting on Rodney to show up. He blusters in, mumbling about having to finish a simulation.
He plops down in the chair next to Randi and she turns to him with a smirk. "What's up, Doc?"
"Will you stop that!" McKay looks flustered and John is enjoying it.
"Nope," her grin growing wider.
"You're spending too much time with Sheppard," Rodney mumbled.
John thought, Not nearly enough time, and then he noticed Randi staring at him. He met her eyes and didn't look away until Woolsey asked Dr. Keller to start the briefing.
"Well, Dr. Hensen and I have completed the necropsy on the iratus bug. There was no structural or internal damage to the organs that we could find."
Randi sat up. "To the organs? What about other damage?"
"The insect's blood vessels were full of clots. It died of hypercoagulopathy. It's blood literally became too thick to pump."
"So?"
"So," Randi turned to McKay, "it happened rapidly, Rodney. As... energetic as that thing was when it attacked, there's no way it had that condition until after it bit me."
"I agree, though it would be nice to have some untainted blood samples to test with." Keller looked wistful.
Randi smiled at Keller. "Hey, if you can find some volunteers to go grab another one of those things, I'll gladly give up some blood for the cause. But, don't we have any samples of Wraith blood lying around?"
Keller smiled back. "Yes, actually. We keep some for research. I'm not sure if it would work without a live subject, but it's worth a try."
Everyone moved to the infirmary and waited impatiently while Keller set up what she needed. They didn't have much Wraith blood, so she placed a small amount in a sterile dish and then drew a small amount of Randi's blood. She no more than added two drops of Randi's blood and the Wraith blood started moving. John thought it was creepy as hell. It moved, but didn't do anything else. Keller looked disappointed. "There's definately a reaction, but without a live subject, I think that's the best we'll get."
"What's causing the reaction?"
Keller turned to address Woolsey's question. "We think it's the naquada."
"What, like kryptonite?" McKay blinked at the incredulous looks he got. "What?" His eyes widened. "No, not kryptonite. The Wraith actually use naquada in some of their technology."
Randi shrugged. "What I have in my system is basically liquid naquada. It's not found in nature, except in relation to the Go'uld. Naquada would not normally be introduced to Wraith bloodstreams, even if they work with it."
Rodney was gesturing with his food and hands in a way that said he was about to blow your mind with his brilliance. "So, I was thinking-"
"Oh, shit. Somebody grab the helmets." Randi smirked.
"I concur." Zalenka managed to keep a straight face, but John and the rest of the team and Lorne didn't.
"Oh, ha, ha. As I was saying, I was thinking about how to make everyone immune to wraith-if the testing is successful, Randi-" Randi nodded her head in thanks, "feeding-"
"You are getting ahead of yourself, Rodney, as usual." Radek was McKay's only subordinate that was not afraid or in awe of him.
"Planning ahead is never a bad thing, Doc." Lorne grinned at Zalenka.
"Can I get back to my idea now? Hmm?" Rodney shot a quick shut-up look around the table. "We modify our subcutaneous transmitters to release a steady stream of naquada. If our estimations are correct, it would only need to be a small amount. " McKay looked smug, but his look quickly faded when he was met with silence. Keller and Randi had already determined there was no way to liquify the required amount of naquada and safely introduce it into a person's bloodstream all at once. Plus, any human not currently or formerly host to a Go'uld would process the naquada out of their system within about 8 weeks, not having the ability to integrate it into their blood and body.
"Can you do that?"
Rodney rolled his eyes. "No, Major, I just thought it would be a fun game to play. 101 Ways to Halt the Wraith Feeding Process. Your turn." He threw up his hands. "Of course I can do that."
There was a pause.
"That would solve the problem of needing to get reinjected with naquada every couple of months as the body processes it out. Geez, I love how your mind works McKay!" Randi was grinning at him openly. "Seriously, if this scientist thing hadn't worked out, you could have had a great career writing for Hollywood."
McKay got that cocky, yet surprised grin that he always wore when he got an unexpected compliment. "Yes, well. It does take a genius to be that creative."
Randi glanced at John, "He's serious, isn't he?"
"You're the one who loves how his mind works," John smirked.
"We will have to test if the lower dose is as effective," Radek pointed out.
"Well, now we just need to find a Wraith to test. Anybody know where suicidal Wraith hang out?" Randi asked. "No? Okay, how about asking that Todd guy if he has anyone he would like to volunteer."
John had been thinking about that option too. But, he was still stuck on how they would test it. "We'll figure out a Wraith. But how do we test it?"
Everyone looked at him like he was a little off kilter. When Randi spoke up, he supposed it was possible that he had been blocking the obvious from his mind because he didn't want to think about any possible bad outcomes. "John, I think the most logical thing is to have the Wraith try to feed on me. If it can't, then we can move on to testing the transmitters. Wraith can't feed on a petri dish. It's going to take a live subject." John just stared at her and swallowed. As the base commander, he knew what was coming. As John, the man who spends every night in the arms of a dream that wears her face, it hurt to hear that plan. "It'll be fine. Even if it fails and it manages to get a few years off me, it wouldn't affect me the way it would you guys. With the Go'uld, I won't age for a long time."
He left the table a few minutes later, making excuses about paperwork.
"John, wait up!"
He stopped and wiped the worry from his face. "Hey, what's up?"
Randi caught up with him and joined him in the transporter. "Heading to your office?" He nodded and she asked if she could have a few minutes of his time.
He looked at her funny. She never asked anything like that and it sounded so formal. She chuckled. "It's official business, you see."
"Right." He raised his eyebrows and motioned for her to head into his office when they stepped off the transporter. And he did not watch her butt as she walked. Okay, maybe a little. Lorne was still at lunch, so they had the place to themselves. He sat down behind his desk and gestured for her to sit in front of it. She smiled and he quirked his lip. "Official business?"
She looked to the door and it slid shut and John felt it lock. Now he was curious.
"I wanted to talk to you, not as a friend or a team leader. I need to speak with you as the base CO."
"Okay." What is this about? What happened? His eyes widened. Shit... Randi was just opening her mouth to speak when John asked, "Is this about one of my people? Did they do something, or say something to you?" Some of them had a hard time accepting a Go'uld host here.
"What? No, John, nothing like that. I just wanted to ask your permission to do something."
He breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, sorry. Go ahead." She gave him a strange look, but he tried to ignore it, acting like his outburst was perfectly normal everyday CO behavior.
"I've been bothered by the inequality among some people here since I arrived in Atlantis. Maybe it's the social worker in me, but it really pisses me off and I want to do something about it."
He cut her off. "Inequality? Wait a minute. I think we do a pretty good job here. Everyone here gets treated equally. Except for Kavanaugh, but really, if you had been here the first year, you'd be okay with that-"
"John!" She was laughing. "For the record, I'm fine with Kavanaugh's treatment. I was talking about DADT." At his confused look, she clarified, "You know, Don't Ask, Don't Tell."
"I know what it is! So... you want to do something about DADT?"
"I want to get rid of it."
He raised his eyebrows. "Ambitious."
She rolled her eyes. "For Atlantis. I'm not fool enough to think I can get rid of it for the entire US Military, although that would be great." Her eyes drifted off for a minute and he just watched her daydream, liking this passionate side of her. She focused back on him. "Atlantis is the most international venture Earth has ever undertaken. US military outnumber other city residents 1.3 to 1 and male residents outnumber women 3 to 1. Not only is it not fair to the American military here in the city, it's not fair to the rest of the city residents, who are from all over the place, for their options to be so limited."
"That's your reason?"
"Well, that and DADT is stupid, pig-headed and bigoted. Oh, and your guys and girls deserve to have a little fun." She grinned and he couldn't help but smile back. "But, the first reasons, those are the official ones."
"How do you plan on doing this?"
She grimaced. "Still working that out. But, I think I can swing some volunteers to help me."
"Great. So, why are you talking to me about this, as the CO, I mean?"
"John, I'm talking about altering policy that affects your soldiers. I won't do that without your blessing."
"Oh. Well, you have it. My blessing, I mean." He grinned and was surprised when she jumped up to lean over and hug him. It was sort of awkward, since he was sitting and wasn't much of a hugger. But, he closed his eyes and leaned into her and god, I did not just sniff her hair, did I?
When she pulled away, she looked at the desk for a minute before looking back at him. "Thanks, John."
"Sure. And, thanks for coming to me about it." He leaned back as Lorne walked in.
"Should I wait, Sir?"
"No, Major. Come on in." He looked back to Randi. "As the CO, I can't be too involved, but let me know if I can do anything to help."
He gets lost in thoughts of Randi while trying to finish reading the latest reports from the SGC and he keeps catching Lorne giving him measuring looks throughout the rest of the day.
That night, he has regular, run-of-the-mill (for Pegasus anyway) dreams of Wraith dressed as clowns and putting on a musical in the gateroom. He has no dreams of Randi.
The next day, John stops by the mess for coffee and a few quiet minutes to review reports before meeting with his officers for the bi-monthly threat assessment briefing. He gets his coffee and turns to find a private place to sit, but he spots Randi sitting at a table by herself. She quickly turned her head and he realized she must have been watching him. Hmm, maybe she really does look at me too? He allowed himself a brief minute of hope before he saw Zalenka and Lorne come in and join her. She waved him over and he went reluctantly, not wanting to spend more time watching her with Lorne.
"Hey, John. Join us?" Randi asks, looking up at him. She looks tired.
"Thanks, but I have work I need to get done. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I just got caught up in a project and never made it to bed last night."
He makes his excuses and leaves, opting to go to his office instead. He convinces himself that he was imagining the look of disappointment on her face when he walked away.
dream...
"Are you happy?" They were sitting on a ledge off the end of the South pier. Feet dangling in the cool water, Randi was leaning against John.
"I am right now. I'm always happy here with you."
That made his stomach tingle a bit. "And in general? Are you happy?"
She was thoughtful for a moment. "I'm getting happier. Definitely happier than I have been in a long time. I think happiness is a work in progress."
"Work in progress, huh?" He thought about that, how some days he couldn't stop smiling and others he couldn't make himself smile. He thought about how the latter was becoming more infrequent. "I think I agree with you. I'm getting happier, too."
"That was pretty heavy for the start of 20 questions."
He smiled and nuzzled her hair. "Okay, what's your favorite comfort food?"
She chuckled and snuggled closer. "Hmm... Mac and cheese, not from a box though. Homemade. You?"
"Turkey sandwich."
"I should've known. Did you ever want to be anything besides a pilot?"
"Sure. A cowboy, a rock star, race car driver. The usual kid stuff. But seriously, no. I always wanted to fly. It was my first love." He looked at her questioningly.
"Well, don't tell Rodney, but I always wanted to go into anthropology."
He laughed. "Yeah, he'd never let you hear the end of that." He ran his fingertips along her jaw. "Why anthropology?"
"I like the different cultures and listening to people's stories, seeing how they see the world. I got to do some of that as a social worker though. And a lot of it since I started going off-world."
"I bet your favorite subject in school was ancient history, right?"
"Got it in one. Yours was math?"
"Calc and trig."
She cringed. "I barely got through algebra."
"It's a good thing you went into the soft sciences then." He grinned and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.
"Channeling your inner Rodney?"
"Want me to?"
"Nope, I'm good with you being the inner John in you."
He scrunched up his brow. "You know, that didn't really make much sense."
"You could've been in Mensa. Figure it out." She smirked and then pulled him in for a kiss. She licked at his bottom lip and he opened for her. The kiss was tender, slow and lazy. When they pulled apart, she said "tell me your story. What makes you, you."
He did. He told her about never feeling like he fit in at home, like he always wanted more from his life than he would be allowed to have there. He told her how he left his family behind when he joined the Air Force, about how it didn't feel like he left them though, because they had already left him behind. She listened as he told about how he promised himself he would never leave anyone behind, because he knew how that felt. He gave the details about trying to rescue Holland in Afghanistan, about his refusal to apologize for what he had done, about his disappointment in the Air Force for ordering him not to go. "My CO loved blueberries, always had a bowl of them on his desk. He was snacking on them when he told me I couldn't go after Holland, when he told me to leave my best friend for dead. And they were on his desk when he bawled me out for disobeying orders. Every time I see blueberries, I think of that day and of Holland." He tightened his arms around her and mumbled "I fucking hate blueberries."
She didn't offer him platitudes or sympathy. She just held on to John as he relived his memories and whispered into his ear "I am so proud of you, John. You did good."
end of dream
They made their way casually through the booths, always keeping in sight of at least one other team member. Rodney was scoffing at the "scientific" nature of one booth that sold fake Ancestor artifacts. He had made John test them first though. Ronon was helping Teyla pick out some items for her fellow Athosians. He found Randi trying on a necklace made of twisted metal and dark blue stones. She had a small smile on her face and John had the sudden desire to keep it there.
Walking up next to her, he asked the merchant, "How much?"
The merchant turned to him with a smile. "What do you have in trade, friend?"
"John, it's okay, I don't need it." She moved to take off the necklace, but John stopped her.
"I want to." Turning to the merchant, they haggled over several items. Eventually, they settled on John's zippo lighter, with wings etched on the side. The merchant threw in matching earrings and the trade was done.
After gathering the rest of the team, they headed back to the gate to report on the intel they had gathered from merchants and shoppers from various worlds. The nice thing about interplanetary markets is that, besides just trading, there is always gossip and news being shared.
Randi joined John at the front of their group. "Thank you, John. But, you didn't have to do that."
"You're welcome. And, I wanted to."
Lorne joined him for a late lunch the next day. "Randi really liked the jewelry you got her." John glanced up, expecting to see irritation or anger. Instead, the Major's eyes were sparkling with humor.
He cleared his throat. "Look, Lorne, if I overstepped a boundary in getting those for her, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."
"Colonel, what are you talking about?" Lorne looked genuinely confused.
John decided to just go for it and find out once and for all. "If I overstepped... in buying jewelry for your girlfriend, I mean. I'm sorry."
Lorne's eyes widened almost comically and a slow smile spread across his face. "You think Randi and I are dating?" He chuckled. "No, we're not together. She's a good friend, that's all."
John was unbelievably relieved but tried to keep it off his face. This was still his 2IC. "Oh. Sorry for the mixup." He gave the other man an easy smile and kept eating.
The Major watched him for a minute. "Sir, may I ask a personal question?"
John felt himself tense up a bit. It was nothing against Lorne, it was just the mention of a personal inquiry that made him nervous. "Sure, but I may not answer."
"Is that why you haven't asked her out? Because you thought I was with her?" When John just took another bite of food, Lorne sighed. "I'm only going to say this once, because I don't want to risk court martial twice."
At that, John's head shot up and he narrowed his eyes at the man sitting across from him. "Major?" he asked warningly.
Lorne continued, speaking quietly so they would not be overheard. "If any two people deserve to find a little happiness, it's the two of you. You shouldn't wait until it's too late. Having said that, I feel it's my duty as Randi's best friend to tell you that if you hurt her, I will make you suffer."
John nodded slowly. He admitted nothing about his feelings and didn't say anything about his 2IC threatening him. He simply replied, "She's lucky she has you to look out for her."
Lorne turned the conversation to other matters, as if it had never happened.
dream...
He could see her silhouette at the end of the pier, where she is waiting for him. His pace faltered for a moment when he realized that she appeared to be naked. When he was near, she turned to him with a smile.
"How do they look?" She gestured to the necklace and earrings, which were the only things she had on.
He looked her up and down. "Amazing."
Stepping into her open arms, he pulled her close, one hand around her waist and another at her nape, and kissed her. "I normally don't like surprises, but this one I like. A lot." He nibbled at her neck, just below her ear. He's learned what drives her crazy and that spot is in the top five. His hand drifts down to her ass, pulling her against him, already seeking that friction for his erection.
She pushes him away and steps back. She reaches out and slowly begins to undress him. He still can't understand this kink of hers that she enjoys undressing painfully slow, one item of clothing at a time. But, he's decided he can live with it, because as torture goes, this is the best kind. He can only wait so long though and so he helps by kicking off his sneakers.
When he is naked, she stands back to admire his body. He can feel her hunger and it makes him even harder. He feels a flush rise on his face, as she continues to rake over him with her eyes. Stepping close, but not touching him, she starts to circle him slowly, still looking at him and humming appreciatively. He's never been looked at, scrutinized, quite like this. It's disconcerting, but turns him on anyway. He watches her come around his other side, having circled behind him. Suddenly, he feels her nails on him, scraping lightly up his spine.
His eyes close and he leans his head back in pleasure. "God, Randi, please... now... please..." He is shameless in his begging. He knows she's aware of what that move does to him.
"Lie down, John."
Opening his eyes, he notices a blanket spread on the pier. Lying down in the center of it, he reaches a hand up for her, expecting her to lay beside him. Instead, she straddles him and rubs against him. He groans and grasps her hips. She doesn't make him wait. Taking his cock in her hand, she guides it into herself and sinks down on him, impaling herself with a moan that John echoes.
She meets his eyes and begins to ride him. Holding her hips, he thrusts up into her, meeting her as they set up a fast and hard rhythm. The sex is a bit rough and they slam into each other. John thought it was perfect. They are both loud in bed but tonight, out on the open pier, there are no walls to contain their cries and moans. Randi's cries escalate in volume and she tightens around him as she comes. John comes hard, bucking up into her and holding her hips tight enough to leave bruises.
She falls forward onto him and they try to catch their breath. When she rolls off him and cuddles into his side, he pulls the blanket around them and they watch the stars together.
end of dream
Todd was due to arrive at the alpha site that afternoon, with two prisoners in tow. He had been been intrigued by Keller's report and said he had subjects he would be willing to "contribute to a cause that could benefit both our races." John wasn't surprised. He knew Todd was interested in finding ways to stymie or destroy his rival hives and had no problem killing other Wraith to do it.
There was no way three Wraith (even if two were manacled) were going to enter Atlantis. They had spent the last two days erecting a makeshift brig, strong enough to keep Wraith at bay, within the infirmary/research portion of the building. Under Rodney and Keller's direction, they had merged the medical and research centers enough that the testing could occur where the prisoners were kept by simply erecting a few holding cells.
The closer the time got, the more John's anxiety level went up. He had barely slept since they heard back from Todd three days ago. When he did sleep, his anxiety carried over into his dreams. He tried to persuade his dream-Randi that this was a bad idea. She would just smile, kiss him and lead him to bed. Which, he supposed, was an effective way to distract him. Too bad he wasn't being distracted like that in real life. In real life, her response to him was to remind him he had trusted Todd before. He told her that he had never had to trust him with her life before. That made her eyes go wide and he left before he said anything else.
Keller and Rodney had banned him from the research station this morning, when he had shown up, again, to ask/beg them to find another way to test this. He was nervous for both he and Randi. He'd been fed on before and wasn't looking forward to doing it again. But, he really hated the thought of one of his people going through that. He had received the new subcutaneous transmitter that morning, right before he was kicked out of the medical center. Rodney and Keller had worked nonstop to come up with a prototype that was large enough to give off some naquada, but small enough to still be hard to detect. It's placement required one suture and might leave a small scar, but wouldn't be easily recognizable to enemies.
To no one's surprise, but to the anger of his team, he had insisted on being the one to test the prototype. Lorne had made a solid argument about why it should be him instead, but John told them it was his call as CO. Woolsey didn't override his decision. John thought he was probably glad he had a volunteer and would not have to order anyone to submit to a Wraith feeding. John didn't tell him Lorne had volunteered as well.
Todd and his prisoners, weak with what Todd said was hunger, arrived and the prisoners were placed in the brig without incident. John and Todd eyed each other, as comfortable with each other as usual, which was to say not too comfortable.
"So, what did they do?" John inquired, raising an eyebrow and making a sweeping hand motion toward the cells.
"Does it matter?"
"No," John didn't really care what they had done to get on Todd's bad side. "Just curious."
Todd glanced at one of the prisoners. "I had planned to let them starve, but your experiment intrigued me. If successful, I believe it would provide a fitting end for them."
"Right." John drew out the word and turned when Randi entered. "Speaking of the experiment, this is Miranda Baxter."
Todd turned to her. "Miranda Baxter, you are the one who possesses faulty blood?"
"Not so faulty if you don't want to get eaten." She grinned and stuck out her hand to him.
Everyone froze. "Randi, what the hell?" John made a step towards her, when he heard Todd laugh. An actual laugh. He turned back to Randi and saw the challenge on her face. "It seems you are ready to start the testing early." Todd reached out his feeding hand and clasped hers, not letting it go until Ronon growled.
Todd stepped back, chuckling. John pulled Randi aside. "What the hell was that? Are you crazy?"
"I just wanted to get an idea of what might happen. You know I do best at that through touch. From what I could sense, this should work!" She frowned at the scowl on his face. "Besides, I knew you wouldn't let anything happen."
He ran his hand through his hair, frustrated and angry. "Geez, give a guy a little warning next time. Don't do that to me again, baby."
Randi's eyes flew to his face. "What did you call me?"
Crap. Keeping his face as casual as he could, he opted for total denial. "Randi, I called you Randi." He gave her a look that said are you feeling okay?
She gave him a funny look. "Okay. Sorry, I must be hearing things."
When she walked away to get hooked up to the EKG and neural monitors Keller insisted on, John turned to Todd. "If this doesn't work, you damn well better return whatever's taken from her."
Todd gave him a considering look. "John Sheppard, I still consider you my brother." He didn't seem bothered by John's discomfort at that. "By extension, your mate is a sister to me. If life is taken from her, you have my word that I will return it." John was startled by the mention of Randi as his mate, but he didn't correct him. If thinking they were mates made Todd more cooperative, then so be it. John nodded his acceptance and left Ronon and Todd to glare at each other.
When the experiment was set up, Todd entered the first cell and lifted the Wraith by the collar, forcing him to stand. John followed him in, with Randi, Ronon and Keller. Randi stepped forward and John had to swallow a lump in his throat. He forced himself to let her approach the Wraith, where she stopped a foot in front of him.
The wraith looked wary, like he knew something was up. But when Todd said "you may feed," he didn't hesitate, the hunger driving him. He opened his fist and slammed it against Randi's chest. She staggered a step, but then righted herself. John could see the etchings of pain on her face and was about to break in, when he heard the prisoner gasp. The Wraith jerked his hand away and stared at Randi in horror. He staggered back, grasping his arm, then shoulder. He began to screech in pain and Keller covered her ears. When he finally fell to the floor immobile and silent, the quiet was deafening. It had all happened in seconds.
Todd turned to Randi. "I heard his mind as he died. You are not human. What are you? How then can this effect," he gestured to the dead Wraith on the floor, "be replicated?"
Randi closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them, her glowing eyes met Todd's and she spoke with the resonance of the Go'uld. "I am human. I was possessed by a being that altered my blood. What you see and hear now is merely the remains of the parasite that the prisoner detected."
Keller spoke up, "We believe we have found a way to replicate the changes in Randi's blood."
John sighed. "Guess that's my cue." Randi turned to John with worry evident in her eyes. "Hey, you saw how quickly that one went down. I'll be fine." He hoped his voice sounded as calm as he thought it did. He knew his friends would stop the test and Todd would restore his life if things went bad, but that knowledge couldn't erase the memories of being fed on.
Keller reviewed Randi's tests. Other than a slightly elevated heart rate during the test, she was fine. John got hooked up to the same machines and took a deep breath. He clapped a hand on Rodney's shoulder, since the other man looked like he was struggling to find something to say. Walking into the cell, he noticed this prisoner appeared weaker than the first. He wondered if Randi picked the other for that reason.
The prisoner seemed slightly incoherent and John wasn't sure if he even knew what had been happening around him. He was aware of John though and he immediately lunged, pushing John against the wall. John had to suppress his instinct to fight back. He struggled to keep his arms at his sides and watched in horror as the Wraith's feeding hand came towards him. At first, there was the intense pain he remembered, but then the pain died and he felt tingling in his chest. The prisoner pulled his hand off with an angry cry. It took longer, maybe 30 seconds, but the effect was the same. A dead Wraith on the floor.
dream...
"I'm glad you're OK. I don't want to lose you." His voice was rough with emotion.
"You didn't. And you won't, not if I can help it." She cupped his face with her hand and brushed his lips with the pad of her thumb. "I will always do my best to come home to you. You'd better do the same for me."
"I will. I..." Talking about his feelings has always been difficult for him, but he wants her to know, to understand what she means to him. He leans in and kisses her, a sweet and gentle kiss. Their foreheads and noses touching, he blurts out "I love you, Randi." He holds his breath.
She is silent for a moment and when he dares to open his eyes, she is smiling, tears in her eyes. "I love you, too, John. So much."
end of dream.
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