CHAPTER SEVEN: MORNING REFLECTION
The glare of the sun wakes Kate for the second time that morning. The sound of Castle's measured breathing lets her know he's still sleeping. She gently shifts out from under the weight of his arm, reveling in the feel of him next to her, but knowing she's too restless to keep from waking him. His handsome features relaxed and open, she watches him sleep and feels herself slipping more deeply in love with him, something she couldn't imagine just 24 hours earlier. Recalling the incredible intimacy they've shared, she realizes that she was the one who really had no idea. Body sated for the first time in months, she feels at peace with this new development in her life. Vulnerable in a way she never imagined, her heart is more open now than it has been since before her mother's death. If she didn't believe he was as emotionally invested as she was, she would be terrified.
The push/pull of wanting to keep their newfound intimacy between them versus telling their friends and family has her wondering how they're going to navigate their changed relationship outside the walls of her apartment. As she watches him sleep, she thinks about the night before. They've surprised each other in so many ways. Previously content to follow her lead, Castle has shown her just how much he's been holding back while waiting for her to catch up. Confident and bold, he has a take-charge manner that he's rarely exhibited in their work at the precinct. Now that he's been given permission to touch, he hasn't been shy about making his desires and preferences known. Realizing she'll need to adjust to their private dynamic, she's secretly relieved they're on more equal footing.
And she loves surprising him with her naughty, playful side. The look on his face when she called in sick pleading a headache this morning was priceless. Her sleepless night and strained voice made it seem like she really was coming down with something. She wants him to know he is more important than her work – that he matters. Besides, she isn't ready to share him with anyone. Yesterday, it was simple. She wanted him and could no longer hold herself apart. That hasn't changed. But now, they can't keep their hands off each other. She's afraid everyone will see the change in their relationship simply by looking at her. They need more time to enjoy each other and figure out who they are together before the pressures of the outside world intrude.
Uncertainty over what their romance means for their working relationship has her fretting that he won't be allowed back at the precinct. Given the choice, she'd choose their relationship over their work, but she doesn't want to make that choice. And having experienced just a small portion of the media spotlight their rumored romance previously brought, she can only imagine the frenzy that will break out when the media learns they're involved. And then there's their family and friends. She knows Lanie and the boys will be happy for them, but she's not sure of the reception she'll get from Castle's mother and daughter. Frowning over the decisions to be made, worried he'll want to tell everyone right away, she looks back at Castle, only to see him watching her intently, a concerned look on his face.
Joy suffuses her at the realization that he's awake, transforming her face with the most loving expression.
"You had me worried." He says, with an answering smile, a hint of relief in his tone.
"Worried? Why?"
"The look on your face was so serious. I thought maybe you were having second thoughts."
"No. God no." She says, leaning over to place a quick kiss on his lips. "Never."
Pulling her in close to him, he responds, "Give me a proper good morning kiss." Sealing his lips to hers, she responds to his now familiar taste, wanting nothing more than to get lost in his arms again.
With a reluctant moan, he pulls back. "You've got to be sore after the night we've had. Maybe we should table this for awhile and talk about whatever had you frowning a minute ago."