Chapter Seven

Lily's Point of View

"Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! I'll try to hold him off - just go!" James shouts as he reaches inside his robes for his wand.

In an instant I have Harry whose eyes are wide with fear, in my arms. I run to the stairs but before I climb them, I turn back to my husband. He is facing the door with a look of pure determination. I physically cannot leave him to face Lord Voldemort alone.

"James, come with me. Please!" I beg.

"Go Lily! This is not a discussion! Go for our son - for Harry." He says to me with a look that says everything. "I love you both."

With Harry in my arms, I run to him and kiss him with all I have. I hope he can feel the pleading behind my lips.

"Lily you must go."

As he says this, I know James will not come with us.

"But I love you." I whisper desperately.

Jay looks like he's going to cry as he kisses me again. My only thought is that this will be the last kiss I will ever share with the love of my life. I start crying as he pushes me toward the stairs. A dark shadow is closing in on our front door.

I am at the top of the stairs, but I can't go any further. I look at my husband as he raises his wand. I hold in a scream and sprint as fast as I can toward the nursery. Once there, I place Harry in his crib and close and lock the door. I start piling every piece of furniture in the room in front of the door. I stack and shove wardrobes, the rocking chair, and the book shelves, but I know it's all pointless. Voldemort will enter this room with a simple flick of his wand.

I lean back against my handiwork, breathing heavily. My baby looks terrified, even though he is too young to know what is going on. I try to reassure him by smiling, but I know he can tell that I'm just as scared as he is. I'm not afraid to die. I don't want to, but I'm not afraid. I never have been, but I am paralyzed with fear at the thought of losing my boys. I couldn't bear something happening to James or Harry.

A loud BANG sounds - the front door has been blown open. I hear the pops and crashes of curses being fired and countered and bounced off the walls. I feel like all the air in my lungs has been sucked out, and I won't be able to breathe again until my family is safe. I need to feel James in my arms.

I hear a groan followed by heavy breathing and strained speech. I know in an instant that it's James and he's hurt. I am whimpering and crying, but I don't bother to wipe the tears away. I just focus on his voice - as long as he's talking he's alive. I lean closer to the door to hear what he's saying.

"I'm not afraid of you ... you'll never have my family ... you'll never hav-"

"Avada Kedavra!" Shouts a harsh, cold voice. There is a thud as dead weight hits the floor. My husband, my soul mate, my one great and true love is dead. I loved him more than I have ever loved anything in this life, and he's gone.

"JAMES!" I scream. "NO! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE NO!"

I drop to my knees. I can only sob and choke as I feel my heart being torn from my chest. There is ripping and burning deep inside me and I have never felt such agony in my life.

I realize in this moment that I don't want to live anymore. I will protect our baby, I will not allow him to be killed, but I won't fight for my own survival. I don't want it. I can't and won't live if James is not here with me. I know exactly how selfish this is to my son - Our Harry - but one day ... I hope he can forgive me. One day I hope he loves someone the way I love his father, so that he can understand.

There are footsteps coming down the hall. There are only moments before Voldemort finds us here, so I crawl to Harry's crib.

My son looks at me with eyes that are so perfectly mine. My face is wet with tears, and my baby's is as well. I kiss him on the cheek, and he firmly grips a lock of my hair.

"Harry," I whisper. "Harry you are so loved ... so loved. Harry, Mama loves you. Dada loves you. Harry be safe. Be strong. You'll never be alone. You can always find us ... right here."

I point to his tiny, little chest.

A shadow comes in from under the door. A deafening curse is cast and my pile of furniture flies backward. I pull Harry toward me to shield him from the blast. He cries out in terror into my shoulder. I get off the floor and turn to face the darkest wizard of all time.

His black robes cover almost all of him, until he lowers his hood. His flesh is so pale it seems grey, and the hue makes him appear ill. He is tall and gaunt and his face is the most frightening thing I have ever seen. His lips are so thin they are almost none existent, and he has two long slits for a nose but his eyes are the worst of all. They are scarlet and snakelike and filled with fury until he sees my son. When he sees Harry, his lips turn up into a gruesome grin.

"Not Harry! Not Harry! Please not Harry!" I beg him.

Voldemort laughs but the malice remains in his eyes.

"Stand aside you silly girl .. stand aside now."

"Not Harry, please no. Take me, kill me instead!" I implore. "Not Harry! Please .. have mercy ... have mercy."

Voldemort glides toward us and he raises his wand to level at Harry's head. I rush forward and block Harry from view.

"Step aside!" he shouts.

Harry whimpers behind me and I feel his face pressed into my back.

"No." I snarl. "Not my son, you coward."

Voldemort hisses and I close my eyes and brace myself.

"Harry, I love you." My voice shakes. "I'm coming Jay."

"Avada Kedavra!" Voldemort shouts.

The last thing I see is a flash of green.

Sirius's Point of View

It's the middle of the night when a loud knocking on my front door wakes me. Merlin, I got home at 10 from a mission for The Order and all I want to do is catch up on my sleep.

I curse and roll over, pulling the covers up to my chin. Whoever is knocking can piss off.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

I grab a pillow and put my it over my head to block out the noise.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK ... KNOCK KNOCK ... KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Sirius!" Shouts a voice. "Sirius, open the bloody door!"

I kick away the covers and throw my pillow across the room. I storm down the stairs and rip the door open with such force it rebounds off the wall with a loud crack.

My neighbor Barney is on the top step; we became mates when he moved into a building across the street from mine about a year ago.

"Barney it's two in the morning!" I snap. "What do you want?"

"He's dead! You Know Who is dead!" He shouts with a wide smile.

Huh?

"You've had a bevvy too many, my friend. Go home and go to bed." I sigh and begin to close the door.

"No mate, look at this Daily Prophet! It says here ..." Barney pulls out a wrinkled paper and begins to read. "This evening He Who Must Not Be Named traveled to Godric's Hollow in search of Lily and James Potter - two active members of the resistance movement against him. After tragically slaughtering the couple and their young son Harry, a curse cast by You Know Who rebounded and resulted in his own death!"

Barney looks up at me from the paper with an excited smile and crazed eyes. When I don't respond, he scrutinizes my expression.

"Oh you knew James Potter didn't you? Rotten luck, mate."

Barney tries to put his hand on my shoulder, but I brush him off. I push past him and grip onto the railing of the steps, clutching my stomach.

No. No. This can't be true. They can't be dead. They can't. No.

"Are you okay, Sirius?" Barney asks. "You look a bit pale, but we should be celebrating! You Know Who is dead, man!"

I sprint to the street where my motorbike is parked. I jump on the seat and kick start it into flight. I push the bike to it's limits as I fly over London and to my best friend's house.

I touch down, almost crashing, in front of their gate. From here I can see bits of the house blown away, and I clutch my throat to stop the scream building there. Where is everyone? Why is no one here to help them?

I push open the crooked gate and rush through the gaping hole that used to be the front door. It is silent inside the house and there is no light. I run into the sitting room where Harry's toys are mixed with rubble blown from the walls on the floor. I feel cold drops falling on my throat and chest. I'm crying.

This isn't real. This can't be happening.

"James?! Lily?!" I shout.

I wait for a response, but none come.

I feel the panic set in, and I become frantic. I run through the hallways looking in every room on the ground floor but there is nothing. No one. I reach the steps and I see a foot dangling down.

No. No. No. No. No.

I can't breathe as I move forward. James is on the floor - his eyes are wide open, his skin is littered with bruises, and he isn't breathing. My knees buckle.

"Oh my god." I whisper.

I put my hand on James's chest and find he is still warm. I shake his shoulder.

"James. James, c'mon mate. James c'mon!"

He doesn't move and I start screaming.

"JAMES! JAMES PLEASE! JAMES!"

Nothing happens and my shoulders sag until my head rests against his chest and I start to sob. He's my best friend, my very best friend, the person I care most about in the world an-and he's dead and I can't take it. I love him so much. He took me in, he gave me a family.

I'm surrounded by a thick, black fog of despair and I can't find a way out. I'll never find a way out from this.

I'm holding him to me and crying and shaking. James wouldn't have wanted this. He wouldn't want me to act like this. James always put the ones he loved before himself, but what of his family is left?

I have to know, I have to find out for him. God, I don't want to see them dead. I don't think I can see them dead, but I owe it to him.

I feel sick as I take off James's glasses to close his eyes. I'll never see his eyes again, not ever. I replace his glasses and pat his chest. I try to take a deep breath, but all that comes out are sharp, painful pants. Down the hallway, the door to the nursery has been blown open.

I clutch my hand over my mouth and try not to vomit.

"Not Harry. Please god, not Harry. He's only child." I beg as I walk toward the damage. The dread in my heart slows my pace, but I reach the remains of the door. I can't look. I clutch the ruined frame to steady myself as I open my eyes.

Lily. Beautiful Lily is face down on the floor, as still and quiet as James.

There are no words for this, no description so horrible as to depict what has happened here. There is nothing, but it's worse than nothing. This is hell, a nightmare, my deepest fear, and the worst forms of agony combined.

"Oh, Lily." I croak.

I've always been closer to James - we were brothers in everything but blood, but Lily was family and I loved and adored her like a sister. I never fancied her, but Lily was more beautiful than I can ever put into words. She was kind, full of love, strong, fierce, and so incredibly loyal. I loved her as a friend, but I loved her more because of what she did for James - she made him happy.

I kneel beside her body and close her eyes. I kiss her on the forehead and push the hair back from her face, tucking it behind her ear. Sweet Lily.

A breathy whimper captures my attention. I swivel around and see the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Harry. Harry alive and sitting up in his crib. His tiny hands gripping the bars, his mother's green eyes filled with tears, and an angry red mark on his forehead.

"Harry!" I shout in joy and relief.

I stand and he thrusts his hands up into the air, motioning for me to pick him up. I smile and lift him until he's settled against my chest.

"Pa-Foo?" He cries softly.

I nod.

"Yes, Padfoot."

My voice cracks as I say the nickname given to me by James years ago.

Harry moves his hand from my shirt to point down at Lily.

"Mama?" he sniffs. "Mama?"

I try not to curse in front of him, because I know how much Lily hated it when I did. I just don't know what to ... I don't know anything.

I bring his little hand to my lips and kiss it several times.

Harry's eyes never leave his mother, as he lets out a loud whine. He reaches back toward her, reaching for her.

I'm crying again, but I don't know if I've ever stopped. I turn so that Harry can't see her body; his big eyes search my face.

"Mama? Dada?"

I shake my head.

"I'm so sorry baby. They aren't ... They're not here anymore. They're gone."

His tiny brow furrows in confusion as he points back to where Lily lays, lifeless.

I shake my head again, and I think he somehow understands because he wraps his arms around me and wails as loud as I've ever heard him. I rock him gently for several moments, and the movement is enough to soothe him. He eventually cries himself to sleep, and I feel little puffs of air against my neck.

I kiss his forehead, avoiding the sensitive wound, and rest my cheek on top of his downy soft hair.

Harry murmurs softly and I rub his back

"Shh Harry, I'm here. Padfoot's here."

I know that it will be best to get Harry out of the house before he wakes. I lay him down in his crib to sleep while I try to prepare his things. I find the nappie bag easily, it's in the same place it was when James asked me to grab a wipe for Harry two days ago. I'm looking around the room and I realize I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm looking for. I don't know where anything is. I don't know.

The changing table in front of me is broken, but not ruined. I place the bag on it and put my head in my hands.

Why James and Lily? Why wasn't I here? Why wasn't it me instead?

Before I can drown in my despair even more, I hear James's voice in my head.

"Get it together, Sirius. My son needs you. You gave me your word."

I pick up the bag start shoving everything within reach into it. Once I am packed I gather Harry from his crib, swaddle him in what I know is his favorite blanket, and settle him against my chest.

I walk around Lily's body on my way to the door. I feel so sick, so desperate as I look down at her.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart." I whisper and step out into the hallway.

I walk until I reach James's body. I'm crying again.

"I'm sorry. James, I'm so sorry. I love you. Please forgive me. I'll never forgive myself, but please forgive me. I'll take care of Harry, Prongs. I swear I'll take care of him. I'll keep him safe. I'll tell him all about you and Lily, I won't let you be forgotten. I won't forget you. God, I'm so fucking sorry. I love you."

Harry stirs and raises his head from my chest to look down at his father.

His bottom lip quivers as he waves.

"Bye Bye Dada."

I thought it was impossible, but my heart breaks even more. I can't take anymore. I can't. I'll fall apart.

I nod respectfully at James before walking down the stairs. I collect the rest of Harry's toys from the sitting room and every picture I can find. There are photos of James and Lily at Hogwarts, their wedding, Lily pregnant and James beaming at her, the day Harry was born, and dozens of snapshots of their lives as a family.

Oh god, why? Why?

I hold Harry tight to me as I step over the ruins of the front of the house, and walk toward my motorbike. Just beyond the gate is a huge, looming figure clouded in the darkness of the night. I draw my wand immediately.

"Sirius? Is that yeh?" Booms the familiar voice of Hagrid. "What're yeh doin here?

"My neighbor told me about what happened. I had to know ... I had to see ... for myself." I explain, choking.

I don't want to cry in front of him, but I see massive teardrops leaking from his eyes so I let my own go.

Hagrid nods and wipes his face with a soiled handkerchief.

"It's jus terrible."

I nod in agreement, but its so much worse than that.

"Dumbledore sent me here ter collect the little tyke." Hagrid says softly, holding out his enormous hands. "We're takin 'im to his aunt and uncles."

I hug Harry close and back away.

"No!" I exclaim. "I'm his godfather! James and Lily told me to take care of him. He's mine!"

"I heard 'bout all that Sirius, but I got me orders straight from Dumbledore hisself."

"It isn't his decision." I fume. "This is James and Lily's son. The day he was born, they asked me to take care of him and I gave them my word. I swore that I would. I don't give a damn what Dumbledore wants. Harry is their son and they wanted me to take care of him. I won't betray my best friend. I won't, so don't ask me to."

Hagrid nods and tucks his hands back into his tattered pockets.

"Alright Sirius, alright ... it's jus Dumbledore -"

"Don't worry about him Hagrid. I'll handle it." I interrupt and Hagrid nods, looking relieved.

I pat his shoulder as I move past him to my motorbike. I tuck Harry into the sidecare and fasten him in. I jump on the bike and rev the engine.

"Ey Sirius?"

I look up at the distraught half giant.

"I'm real sorry ... bout them ... James and Lily." he says softly and blows his nose.

My throat tightens, so that I cannot speak. Instead, I nod and wave goodbye - taking off.

Harry sleeps through the entire flight back to London. When we reach Grimmauld Place, Harry stirs a little but doesn't wake, not even when my mother's portrait starts wailing.

I carry Harry and all of his things straight upstairs to my bedroom. I lay him down on the bed and he snuggles into the thick duvet. There are loads of my family old furniture in the drawing room, and there I find the crib that belonged to Regulus. I hate to use it, or anything that belonged to my family, but it's the best I've got. I scourgify the crib and levitate it into my bedroom. I move to pick Harry up, but the little boy looks so peaceful that I can't bring myself to do it. Instead I lay down beside him and pull him to me so I can stroke his black hair.

I don't sleep at all. I am awake until the sun comes streaming through the curtains, crying silently and watching Harry's every move.

Harry mumbles 'mama' in his sleep, and then I think about the traitor who killed her and my best friend. It was my idea to make Peter the Secret Keeper. I told them to do it. It's all my fault. I'm saying apologies over and over again in my head.

I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you. I'm sorry I wasn't smart enough to see through that disgusting piece of vermin. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I'm sorry.

You fucking bastard, Peter. I will find you.

In the morning, Harry wakes slowly.

"Pa-Foo." He grumbles.

"Morning, sleepy boy."

Harry huffs and falls back asleep. I won't wake him. He's been through so much, he needs rest.

"Sleep well baby. I'm here."

I'll always be here.

Lily's Point of View

There is a blinding white light. I know that I'm dead, but where am I? Is this all there is after death? Light?

I'm alone. Why am I alone? Where is James? Shouldn't he be here?

Wherever I am seems to go on forever, so I get to my feet and start walking because it's the only thing I can do. As I walk, the brightness increases. I'm surrounded, almost drowning in it. A mass is forming in front of me, coming closer. The shape is familiar, the color is familiar. It's James and he's appeared out of nowhere.

James! James! James!

He is just as beautiful as he was when I saw him moments ago. He's smiling at me and holding out his hand - his wedding ring flashes in the light. I'm running as fast, and hard as I can. I don't stop until my legs are around his waist and my arms are around his neck.

He's kissing me all over and hugging me so tightly I can't breathe.

"James!" I cry into his shoulder. "Oh god, I love you. I was so scared. I love you. I love you."

James pulls my head back so I can look in his eyes. His beautiful hazel eyes.

"Oh Lily, I'm sorry." He replies. "I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you. I love you so much, baby."

I smile and shake my head. My silly husband. I kiss him and I can't help but draw comparison to the way we kissed on our wedding day. We break apart and Jay kisses my cheeks, my nose, and my forehead over and over again as I giggle.

A sudden realization makes my stomach lurch and my breath catch in my throat.

"James where is Harry?!" I shout. "Where is he?!"

James rubs my back and shushes me gently.

"Lily, he lived. Harry lived."

I'm so confused.

"What? How?"

"We can see him Lily. I don't know how, or what this is, or where we are, but we can see him - watch over him. Sirius is with him now, he's safe. I'll try to explain everything, my love."

I nod with tears in my eyes and he kisses me.

"We have quite a bit of time after all." James jokes and I can't help but smile.

He takes my hand and we turn to face the brightness that lies ahead of us.

Together we walk forward, even though whatever is in front of us is uncertain, I'm not scared. James is here with me, and our son is alive. The rest will fix itself and all the horror that had happened will somehow mend itself to form something new ... better from the damage. I know it will.

Hi everyone!

I'm going to be completely honest, and tell you that I cried while writing this. I know many of you wanted me to do a plot change and somehow keep them alive. I'm sorry I couldn't, but you should know that this ending will be leading into an entire different story!

My new story 'We Never Left' - Sirius will raise Harry on his own, and James and Lily will watch over some of the most crucial points in Harry's life. - I will be posting it's first chapter shortly

I hope all of you that liked this story will continue your support and read that one (There will be plenty of Lily and James).

Once again, I hope you guys enjoyed this and will continue your support.

PLEASE REVIEW.

xoxo