It's strange how Perspective can change you.
In Perspective, when Inuyasha had been the leader of a truly band of humans, to fall as low as he had now was to face a fate worse than death. He'd had honor then, Honor and Pride, and he'd had a fearsome band to help him uphold it.
Then he'd had to face the possibility of a world where he'd let Kagome die. In Perspective it was better to disgrace himself before his hated brother than to live in such a world. In Perspective, what was a little pride in return for his beloved's life?
Sesshomaru had taken more than a little pride. Inuyasha had been beaten, starved, forgotten. He'd been raped over and over. In Perspective, it was better to give up. Sesshomaru hurt him worse when he struggled. In Perspective, what was a little begging in return for food, clothing, basic care?
Now, Inuyasha had no honor. He had nothing and he was nothing. He was sure that 'In Perspective' truly meant, 'In Hell.'
Rin, that little ray of painful sunshine was frolicking amidst a field of flowers, making chains and wreaths out of weeds. All the while, Inuyasha continued to think to himself, 'In perspective, it could be so much worse. In everything I traded, I got what I wanted. I got Kagome's life, and I got out of that hole. I have Rin, and clothing and food and water…'
Though, also 'In Perspective,' it would be better to just be dead.
The soft breeze ruffled the girls' hair and flower crown. The child laughed and played with the butterflies that were attracted to the flowers all around her. Sunlight caught in her raven hair seemed to dance as joyously as she did. The little child had no knowledge of Perspective. She didn't know that her Lord was a monster, and what he did to her beloved caretaker every night.
She didn't know that her Lord Sesshomaru raped her Inuyasha brutally, and was starting to force him to like it.
Truly, in Perspective, it would be better to be dead.
But as long as Rin could laugh, as long as Inuyasha had that simple sound to hear, he couldn't abandon her to die. He couldn't leave her here, not in this castle of hell. He didn't know what Sesshomaru had done to her to make Rin love him so, but it wasn't natural. The Demon Lord hardly said more than 3 words to the brat a day, and usually those words were 'Rin, be quiet.'
Yet the little girl loved him. Hearing the child prattle on about how honorable and strong her Lord Sesshomaru was had almost hurt worse than the nightly raping. In emotional defense, Inuyasha had soon been able to split the two Sesshomaru's apart. There was Rin's Lord, and there was Inuyasha's Master.
Inuyasha's thoughts must have shown on his face, for the little girl walked up, a flower wreath just for her loved retainer.
"I made one for you too, Inu-kun!" She held it out tentatively.
"Don't call me that, Rin." Her Inuyasha sighed. She smiled anyway.
"Well, it's for you." She put it on his head. Inuyasha didn't protest, not that she'd ever known him to in the past months that he'd been her retainer and caretaker. Rin smiled brightly, a flower crown of yellow and gold nestled around her white-haired protector.
"It looks good on you, Inu-kun!"
"Rin, don't call-"
" Will you wear it the rest of the day?" She asked quickly, interrupting him. Inuyasha never should have looked into her eyes. They were pleading pools of brown and innocence. He could never refuse anything she asked if he mistakenly looked to her eyes.
"Keh. Sure." He huffed. The girl squealed, and ran off; back to the flowers she loved to play in.
Women and flowers; Inuyasha would never understand the attraction. Once you'd plucked them, they started dying.
Inuyasha watched the little girl play. If only Rin hadn't been here. Then Inuyasha could escape. He would wait until Sesshomaru left on one of his travelling weeks. Then Inuyasha would run, run as far and as fast as he could, and kill himself so violently, there wouldn't be enough left for Sesshomaru's Tenseiga to restore. Or rather, during such times that Inuyasha was in a vastly better and less self-loathing mood, he would imagine running to the ocean and throwing his life to the waves. The sea would hide his corpse and protect him from Sesshomaru's life-saving sword.
Inuyasha stretched back against the tree he was sitting beneath. It would be so peaceful; the soft hushing of the waves; the light above fading slowly while he sank. He would just sink down and down and maybe he'd even go to sleep before the end. He'd just close his eyes and let out all the breath in his lungs and relax into his final slumber.
But not while Rin lived, at least not with this monster.
Rin was a prisoner here as well. She didn't see it now, but when she grew up? What would happen when he couldn't hide the telltale marks of his abuse by her precious Lord's hands from her any longer? Rin was bright. She was exceptionally bright. She already cast worried looks at him constantly and tried to soothe him before she went to sleep. She knew already that he dreaded the setting of the sun and the coming of night. And Inuyasha knew she was aware that it had something to do with Sesshomaru.
It would only be a matter of a few more weeks, maybe a few months if he was lucky. Then Rin would know, and her happiness would be shattered. Her Lord would turn into a monster. She would never look at either of them the same way again and Inuyasha knew that he would be the one that Sesshomaru took it out on.
In mere weeks, he would be back in the hole, and Rin would be devastated.
While Inuyasha sat there, watching Rin play happily, a dark thought slowly came to him.
It would be better if they both were dead.
.
.
.
Well, it's been years. I think I have a solution to this story. I really started hating it because it was so dark and I couldn't think of a way to salvage it. I could not for the life of me think up a happy ending. I was going to have the gang come in and rescue Inuyasha, but Kouga ruined it. I was going to have Inuyasha take the girl and run, but anywhere they could go, Sesshomaru would hunt them down. I even thought about somehow Inuyasha getting help from Naraku! But, I think I have a way to end this now. Here is what I had written of chapter 7 back from all those years ago.
Next chapter, this story is going to be finished. I'll see you all on the other side.