Chapter Seven: Jack Daniels

Author: Duckypantz

Disclaimer: Can't afford Bones or its characters, I just borrow the characters for a little bit. Any characters that are not from the show in the story are my creations and free for me to own . Like the idea of owning characters!

Author's Note: Thank you all SO much for all of the reviews. Thank you to all of those who are reviewing, especially those that I cannot PM…thanks! You all rock my world!

"This is AWESOME!" Hodgins exclaimed as he and his team won another game of flip cup. He and Booth had arrived at the Pour House on Capitol Hill for a quality Happy Hour.

"Again! This is ridiculous. How are we not winning? We are amazing!" Booth said frustrated. I hate losing. I absolutely hate losing. But this is totally working. Hodgins is well on his way to getting drunk. Just a few more games…

Booth leaned across the table to Hodgins, "How are we young enough to play this?"

"Dude, I don't know. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. These girls are young and super cute, so don't throw salt on my game…" When Booth gave Hodgins a startled glance, Hodgins replied, "Too much? I heard one of Sweets' friends say it once. I wanted to try it out. Guess it didn't work?"

"Yeah not so much. Good try though. I won't tell anyone how you failed miserably."

"Ok, it's you and me Booth, you ready? Up, down, cheers and drink!" Hodgins cried as they started another game. Hodgins, like most of the other squints did not have much if any free time in his twenties to enjoy Happy Hours and meet people outside of his various PhD programs. He lived it up afterwards in the elite rich circles dating models and spending obscene amounts of money. But he had never done the living on a budget, going to Thirsty Thursdays where cans of beer were $1.00 a piece, and looking forward to the day all week for the amount of beer he could buy because it was so cheap.

They played another couple of games before Booth decided that they should break off on their own or else they would make fools of themselves by not keeping up with the younger Hill staffers. Hodgins was a bit of a lightweight when it came to chugging beer, so he was a bit worse for wear, perfect condition for Booth to learn about Congressional.

They moved away from the basement bar to the bar on the main floor. Since there were few guys as attractive as Booth and Hodgins at the bar, twenty something women kept interrupting Booth's attempts to find out what got Hodgins kicked out of Congressional.

"Hey guys, do you know what the score of the football game?" Two very attractive young women asked as they walked up to Booth and Hodgins' table.

"The Ravens are ahead by a field goal. It's almost the end of the first quarter," Booth answered offhand, not really paying attention to either woman.

Hodgins looked at Booth, surprised that the FBI agent wasn't checking out the girls that were clearly trying to hit on them. He turned his gaze to the young women and smiled. "So you all are football fans?"

The shorter of the two women answered, "Well, yeah. I really got into it last year because I am from Baltimore and the Ravens went pretty far last year… I mean the team normally does well, at least from what I've heard, because their defense is super tight, but because of Flacco and his rookie season, the offense might now have a chance."

"Sounds like you know a lot more about football than just a little," Hodgins flirted.

"She went to Delaware with Joe," her friend explained, leaning in to Hodgins.

The ladies flirted with the twosome for a bit before Booth decided that he wasn't going to be able to get any information out of Hodgins while the two women were hanging around, and since Hodgins seemed quite interested in both women. So Booth took one for the team and decided to be a good wingman. It couldn't hurt, right? Maybe get a few more drinks in Hodgins to get the story out of the bug man.

"You guys want to get shots?" One of the girls asked. "I'll pay!" Without waiting for an answer, she went to the bar to get the shots. Booth and Hodgins just looked at one another and shrugged, why not?

After a few more rounds of shots, Booth was almost as worse for wear as Hodgins was. I don't even know if I'll remember that story that I want him to tell me. Crap, I am going to have to call Bones to pick my ass up.

The women who had been keeping them company had left because the game and happy hour was over, so the two collegues were left in their own company, with a mountain of nachos.

"So, Hodgins," Booth said unintelligibly, since his mouth was full of food. "Uh, hey, I think I am going to regret this in the morning. Hangovers get much harder as I get older."

"I know I know. Eh, at least you do not have to deal with particulates from a waterlogged dead body. Tomorrow is going to smell fantastic." Hodgins cheers-ed to himself.

"I do not envy you in the slightest. I mean a lot of today was difficult for you. You had to go to Congressional and get the run around because of something you did as a teenager and because of going back there, I am sure you are reliving that whole incident too."

"Yeah. I would love reliving what I did, if I hadn't gotten caught. It was one of my first real brilliant adventures. I stood up to the man, in more ways than one and it was great because I got the girl, for a short period of time, but I still got her. I was a bad boy for all of 48 hours. It was exhausting."

Booth wiggled his eyebrows, "So you were a bad boy, huh? What did you do to get that status? Man I wish I could have ever pulled off the bad boy thing. I just could never do it."

"Man, it was great. I had planned this all out. Seriously, I thought I could maintain this nerdy, plan out my bad boy prank, but never let on how much I planned it."

Booth interrupted Hodgins, impatiently asking, "So dude, what did you do? I am dying to know!"

"Well I have to tell you this backstory," Hodgins started, his eyes half open. Booth thought, I better get this out of him soon before he passes out or something. "I really liked this girl, Kady Carlson, she was beautiful; petite, magnolia flower of a girl, coming from Georgia. She had a cute little accent and looked so composed whenever I saw her at the club, a perfect Daddy's girl. Her father was the majority leader of the Senate. The family was kinda a big deal in the inside the beltway social circles."

Hodgins paused to take a long drink from his can of Strongbow. "Man you should really try some of this, it's good stuff. I remember spending a year in Edinburgh, Scotland and I loved going to the pub switching between having Strongbow on draft to the perfectly pulled extra cold Guinness…"

"Hodgins! You are in the middle of a story. No tangents. FOCUS!"

"Calm down dude. Ok, so this girl was all Jekyll and Hyde. She was such a Daddy's girl whenever we were at social events with adults, but then when it was just us teens, she was a wild child, trying anything at least once, if you know what I mean, and ran around with the bad crowd and the future inmates with trust funds. She never noticed me. She was always polite, but never noticed."

"Totally not worth your time then!" Booth said, forgetting his place as a passive listener instead of a buddy listening to the woes his drinking partner has with women.

"So I knew she liked bad boys, and she hated her father, so guys who could really piss off her father were her favorites. So I started this plan by being vocal about her father's policies. Letting her know that I didn't like her father was just the start of things. While I wasn't necessarily the stud of high school, I wasn't a loser, so I knew the whole power structure between men and women, so I didn't want to let her know that I was doing this entire elaborate plan to make her notice me… but to make her think that I hated her father and his politics so much, and she was just an afterthought. That's what girls who like bad boys are like. They are used to being put second or third, and being disrespected. So I certainly did not want her to get the impression that this was all about her, because then I would lose her before I even got her. Ya know?"

"Man, did you even take a breath during that whole speech? That was a lot of words. But I think I got the gist of it. Yeah, women are complicated. Continue." Booth took a sip of his draft.

"OK, so I made this elaborate plan that actually really really upset my dad so that was a major plus. Not just getting thrown out of the club, but also was ruining a huge deal with the Senator, Kady's dad. So clearly golf is a big thing at Congressional. And my dad played with Kady's dad frequently, but I had heard about my dad arranging a big rollers game with Kady's dad and a lot of other high rollers. So my plan was really intricate."

As if to give himself courage, took another pull from his Strongbow. "Let's just say it involved feces, ruining a lot of cars, and pretty much destroying the 18th hole at Congressional for about a week. Kady's dad was trying to bury this bill that had something to do with better conditions for cows in slaughterhouses, so using that, I got a bunch of cow manure, soaked it in water to get really messy, put all the cars of the men who were playing golf that day with my dad and the Senator…"

"But I didn't just go for the obvious and have the feces visible to the naked eye. I had the stuff under the seats, under the foot mats and in the trunk of the car under the mat and in the spare tire well. I changed all their wiper fluid with red dye. I was going to be more obvious and shred their tires, but I wanted to not get caught."

"Since they were all high rollers in the golf game, Congressional agreed to shut down the course that they were playing on, for privacy issues of course, which was perfect for me. This was a little harder to do. The 18th hole can easily be seen from the clubhouse, so I had to be very covert in my destruction of the hole. I set up little cherry bombs all over the 18th green that would explode on my mark, spewing feces all over whoever was on the green. I also rigged the sprinklers to go off after the bombs went off to spray coyote piss all over the men on the green. I couldn't get cow piss… didn't want to manually get it myself so I went to a hardware store that sold the coyote stuff, which is crystallized and used to ward off deer from coming into people's gardens. So I hydrated it in the sprinkler system and BAM!"

"I ruined the 18th green by drying it out so badly and making it smell horribly, I covered all those senators, Washington insiders and my dad in utter filth, and made a great name for myself. Unfortunately, I wasn't fast enough, so when I set off one of the poo-bombs, I got caught in the crossfire and covered. It was gross."

"Obviously I wanted credit for it, so that Kady would find out, but I didn't want to get in that kind of trouble. I was almost sent to jail. Luckily my family has the kind of money it does so the only real punishment I got was that I was never allowed to set foot on Congressional Country Club's grounds ever again. Neither would my future wife and children. And I hadn't, until today."

"Man. That's incredible. I can't believe you were badass enough to try to take on the man. And you almost got away with it. Did you do it all by yourself?"

"Planned and executed with no help from anyone. It was pretty hardcore. I also got a good video of the whole incident, with these really important men running around and screaming like little girls as their golf outfits got ruined. Kinda priceless."

"You'd think since some of them had been soldiers that they wouldn't react so girly to poo being thrown on them. Wusses.."

"Yeah, I know. So I got Kady for like a second before she realized how not a bad boy I was…. Couldn't hold my liquor when she took me to a party the next day… I kinda told her I was in love with her. Clearly not something a bad boy would say. So she ditched me as quickly as possible."

"You know what? Screw her!"

"Dude, I didn't get the chance!"

"That's not what I mean. You know what? I think we need another round of shots, on me, to celebrate your first time sticking it to the government. Not that I think you should ever do it again, I will arrest you if that happens, but it was for a girl. Irish car bombs!" Booth said as he pushed off the chair to go to the bar. His legs didn't quite support him, so he stumbled a little bit but regained his balance, looked around sheepishly, and straightened his tie.

"To trying to win the girl!" They cheers-ed and downed the Irish Car Bombs.

After the chugged the Baileys and Guinness mixture, they both looked at one another as if to say, 'That was a bad idea.'

"I am going to have to take a cab home… It's going to cost a fortune!" Hodgins whined.

"Dude, you are rich. I think you can handle it. I have to call Bones to pick me up… since I'm staying with her."

He dialed Bren's home number and waited, humming to a song that was playing in his head. "Boones! Pick up the Phone!"

"Hello?"

"Bones! Hey! How are you doing?"

"Booth, are you drunk?"

"Maybe just a little bit. I definitely can't drive. Can you come pick me up?"

Bren looked down at her attire. "I guess so. Just give me a minute to change."

"Don't worry about changing, you're just going to drive over here to pick me up. That's it. Nothing more."

Bren laughed, "Sure, Booth. I am on my way. I'll call you when I get there."

"Great!" He and Hodgins went to grab some more drinks before his partner, best friend and ride got there.

Bren arrived 15 minutes later and was waiting outside of the bar in her car. She had been calling Booth since she had been a few blocks away, but he hadn't answered. "I swear if he doesn't pick up this time I am going to just leave him here… GRRRR I can't do that." She put the car in park, turned it off and hopped out.

She walked up to the bouncer and told him that she was trying to get her friend to answer his phone so that he'd come outside so she could drive him home. He let her in and she entered the bar in her pjs and bunny slippers. Her pjs consisted of a wife beater and short shorts, not much covering her, so everyone who was left in the bar noticed her when she walked in.

Booth saw this pretty lady in very little clothing walk through the front door and he whistled in a low tone. Now that is what I am talking about. None of these barely legal Hill Staffers, I like my women real, like this one. Wait, why is she wearing bunny slippers?

Bren caught sight of Booth and waved, rushing over to his table. "Booth, I've been calling you for the past 5 minutes. How have you not heard your phone?"

"Was on vibrate. That's what feeling was. Can you call again? That felt good." He smiled.

"No. Let's take Hodgins outside, get him a taxi and you into the car."

To the bartender she said, "Did they settle up?" When he nodded yes, she took both of her wards by the arm and dragged them outside.

They got Hodgins into a cab without any trouble but Booth was proving more difficult, and he was much heavier than Hodgins, so Bren couldn't physically get him into the car by herself.

"Booth come on, let's go."

"I was having fun. Why did you take away my fun?"

"How about I take you somewhere fun, right now?"

"We could go have fun together?"

"Yes. Now get in the car." He started being compliant and allowed her to guide him into the low-slung car. He was going to hit his head so she leaned in and put her hand on top left side of his head that was about to hit the frame of the car. To avoid collision she brought his head closer to her body, away from the top of the car, as she guided his head down and away from the doorframe. He took it as an invitation to rest his head against her chest, the closest part of her body to him.

He said, "Mmm, that's nice." And nestled his head more deeply against her chest.

Her eyes widened as she felt his breath right on her nipple, which tightened quickly in response. She took a step back quickly but caught his head before it hit anything and just pushed him into the car, bumps and bruises be damned.

Once she got into the car herself, Booth looked over with a cheesy grin and said, "Is that the kind of fun we are going to have more of tonight?"

Author's note: Another chapter down. I hope you liked Hodgins' story and the little B&B action. Please review and tell me what you think!