Hey! For the jokes in this chapter, I got them at . So don't. Sue. Me. And sorry if it seems so short. I hope you enjoy!
I don't own kung fu panda...sadly...
R & R please!
Chap. 7- Misery Business
The joking about poor Po didn't stop. Zany just kept going and going. Tigress had had enough. Master Shifu watched her tensely. Her expression changed into the pissed off one he hadn't seen in a while. She stood up, attracting the attention of the crowd…and Zany.
He whistled. He removed his glasses, looking at her from top to bottom with those menacing eyes if his. "Hello, Cat woman. Me-ow!"
Tigress rolled her eyes, and put her hands on her hips, she ignored his comment. "Leave him alone." She said plainly.
"Excuse me?" he said slightly confused and moving his head outward.
"Are you deaf? I said leave my friend alone." She crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes. Her voice was cold.
"Oh, you mean the guy's who's so fat, he bleeds chocolate milk." He said mockingly. The crowd didn't laugh this time. They watched in shocked silence.
"Coming from the guy who's so horny, the last time he felt a breast was in Mr. Ping's veggie-chicken bucket." She smiled, and the crowd burst out laughing. Po lit up for the first time tonight.
"So…you think you can talk smart now?"
"Oh, look who learned their big words now." She started imitating a babyish voice and clapped her hands together. "Aww… can you spell 'smart' now too?" She put her hands back on her hips and went back to her normal voice, "Or are you still working on that? Because I'm sure your too busy trying to pay back the baboon. You know, the one that gave you that nose." Even Monkey laughed hysterically at this one even though he wasn't a baboon, and Po laughed for the first time. Tigress giggled too.
Then Zany said the most unbearable, deadliest thing, anyone, and I do mean deadliest thing anyone can say to Tigress. "If I wanted anymore lip from you, I would jiggle my zipper!" The crowed stopped, wide-eyed and shocked. Tigress had had enough. She lunged toward him and unleashed her claws. She clawed him and pushed him against the wall. She then threw him up in the air and jumped, meeting him, and kicked him into the wall, sliding down. The pain was so grand, he couldn't even speak. Mostly because tigress had shoved the microphone into his mouth. She then threw him over to plant, and he landed with the flowers covering part of his face.
"You look sore. Slip into something more comfortable…like a coma." She snapped coldly and walked up back to the palace, leaving a half-entertained, one-third-shocked, and one-fourth-scared- to- death crowd.