I passed the year mark with this fic! And I'm only on chapter seven… damn.
Enjoy!
Chapter VII
I walked along the path, listening to the sound of my feet on the damp gravel. I could smell wet grass, and hear the drips of recent rainwater falling from the leaves. The clouds hadn't disappeared, but were certainly a lighter shade of grey, allowing a few rays of sunlight to pass through from time to time. The rainwater was creating tiny streams, meandering down the path, and towards the bottom of the hill.
It was quite rare that a storm would clear up as nicely as this. The clouds looked as if they would give way to sun. Usually, after a storm, the weather would just go back to dull drizzle.
And then Paul would get annoyed at something else again, and set off another storm.
I never understood why the weather changed depending on the mood of the leader. I suppose it was just an effect of their power – as they weren't just leading a city, they were also very powerful people, being able to do things no ordinary person (or demon) would be able to.
That was probably why Paul was so self-confident. He could do what he pleased. Get what he wanted.
And that was what lead him to be so infuriated when I would refuse to be his queen. Because that's what he wanted.
Which was why he was going after Isabelle. He saw something in her, something that he wanted. Something he knew he would finally be able to get.
She was only around nineteen, and was engaged to William. They had known each other all their life, but had only declared their love for each other within the past year. They were finally happy together, and Paul just wanted to rip them apart. Just like he had to Jesse and me.
It was why I always felt so protective over them. I wouldn't – I couldn't – let Paul ruin what they had. They didn't deserve this. They were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Paul had just seen Izzy and thought, "Hey, I need a new queen. Hello!"
You would have thought that after seven years of being stuck in this hellhole, I would have wanted to be replaced. But… If there were no reason for me to be here, what would happen? Would I stay? Would I be taken to the torture room? I shivered. Even the thought of being stuck in there frightened me. But where else? Would Paul let me go back across the valley? Even if he did, I probably wouldn't be accepted. I mean, I've been living with the demons. They may think being evil is contagious or something, and that I was one of the demons too. Which I probably was, but all was not lost quite yet. Jesse may be willing to let me back – but supposing he had already found someone to replace me? It's been a long time. I'm surprised he hasn't gotten married yet.
A tear rolled down my cheek. I jumped – I was certainly surprised to find that I was crying. I guess the fact that Jesse may have moved on hurt me. But why? He was allowed to. I was gone – he knew that. He had let me go! As much as I tried to deny it, he had. Paul was right. Jesse had given me up. It would be very unlikely for Jesse to even consider stealing that blood necklace Paul was talking about. That would mean risking the lives of the people he was meant to be protecting.
Realisation hit me – I was stuck. I couldn't stay. I couldn't go back. There was nowhere to go. I was stuck in a void, and I had no idea to get out.
The tears were running more freely, and I gave up on wiping them away. I was numb. I couldn't move, I couldn't… do anything. All I could do was cry.
"Hey Suze, what are you doing out here? I was - wait, Suze, are you…?"
"Leave me alone." My voice was harsh and cold. Although there was definitely a waver due to my constant sobs.
"Suze, what's wrong?" He tried to touch my arm, and I yanked it away. My senses had finally come back, and I looked at the person talking to me.
"Get away from me, Paul."
"Not unless you tell me what's wrong. Is it- Oh God, it's not Jesse, is it?"
Anger flared through me. "Why do you always blame HIM? Why does EVERYTHING have to be about HIM? Or Isabelle? Why can't it be about me, for once?" I placed my hands on his chest, and pushed him away. I then stomped off back up the path, and towards the castle.
But, obviously, Paul just had to interfere, and grabbed me by the waist and pushed me against a nearby tree trunk.
"Suze, please tell me what's wrong." He looked at me with pitiful eyes, and it made me even more furious. How dare he feel pity for me? It was his own fault I was like this! If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be in the mess I was in now. I mean, I may have had some troubles with Jesse, but at least I wouldn't be stuck with a bunch of demons!
"Why do you care?" I spat, "Why don't you just go back and watch Isabelle with that screen of yours, and LEAVE ME ALONE?" I struggled out of his arms, but his grip on m wrist became tighter.
"Suze, for God's sake, of course I care-!"
"Oh, right, enough as to want me to go to the torture room? Enough for me to be STUCK in this… VOID, with nowhere to go? Enough to chuck me out and REPLACE me?"
Tears were in constant stream, and my voice was hoarse. I dreaded to think as to what I looked like.
Paul was quiet. He was thinking, and looking deep into my eyes as if trying to see further into what I was thinking. And yet, when I looked back, I saw nothing. No deeper meanings, no compassion, just… blue. I hated it. I hated that he could always read what I was thinking, but I couldn't do anything back. Why did he think that he could violate my privacy, find out what I was thinking, but that I couldn't know anything about him?
"Stop… looking at me like that." He was freaking me out, and I certainly did not want him to have some sort of power over me.
But that was Paul. He always had power. No matter how hard I tried to defend myself from him, put up a barrier, he would always get in. He'd always know.
"You really think that?"
"What?" I guess, deep in my musings, I had missed something. "Think what?"
"That I'd send you to the torture room?" Oh… that. I guess that slipped out when I was being an ASS.
"Well… Hey, didn't you say that to me? Oh, so I'm not meant to believe a word you say to me? Well, that makes my life a helluva a lot simpler, thank-"
"Suze. Shut up. I didn't say I would send you… there." He looked disgusted at even the thought of it, which I found amusing. I mean, he was the one who freaking used it. "Suze, believe it or not, I do care about you. More than you know. Hell, if I didn't, you would have been in the torture room as soon as you refused to be queen. And… God, I don't know what it is about you, and I really shouldn't feel this way, but I feel as if I have to protect you. From here, from… myself. But if you don't tell me what's wrong, if I don't know, how am I meant to help you?"
I looked into his eyes. I mean really into his eyes. He looked vulnerable. Serious. Compassionate, for once. I took in what he said, but I just couldn't understand. He shouldn't be like that. He was a demon. The LORD of demons. He had ruined so many people's lives, and yet here he was, standing in front of me like an open book. Telling me how he felt.
He let go of one of my wrists, and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.
"Paul, I-" And then I was rudely interrupted by his lips upon mine.
Before I knew what I was doing, my hands were tangled in his hair, and his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer. It was passionate, sinful, intense. I knew I shouldn't have reciprocated, that it would make it worse but… when I was being kissed like THAT, I didn't care. As much as I hated to admit it, I was LOVING it. Almost as much as he was.
And that was saying something.
His hands were moving up and down my body, and my skin felt as if it was on fire. My heart was becoming erratic, and we were both panting.
A few raindrops fell onto my bare arms, and I jumped. Paul seemed oblivious to the falling water, but the sudden coldness of the air, and the strong gusts of wind, seemed to waken me up.
Oh my god… What was I doing?
I froze. I stopped responding. And that's when Paul noticed.
"Aw, come on, a little bit of rain won't harm. Besides, I like it when you're… w-"
"Paul. Please don't finish that sentence." My voice didn't sound like my own – it was all husky. That, and the fact that I hadn't received as much oxygen over the past five minutes than I should have.
Paul grinned mischievously, and returned to kissing me. I returned to my non-response.
He groaned, "Alright, so it's not the rain." He looked into my eyes. And groaned. Again. "Can't you forget about him?"
"Him? What, Jesse? You see? You SEE? Always blaming him!" I was getting defensive, but I didn't care. I wasn't thinking about him at all. Just that I shouldn't have been kissing the lord of demons.
"But it is-"
"No it's not! For you information, I was thinking about how wrong this was-"
"Wrong? How is this wrong? Technically, we should be married already, if it wasn't for you being so stubborn. You'd belong here, and not have to worry about being stuck in a 'void'. So really, it's you who messed up your life, not me-"
I slapped him. Hard. Harder than I had ever hit anyone before. He couldn't just let things go. It couldn't ever be his fault. And he always had to remind me of how shitty my life was.
"Don't you dare! Don't you dare say this wasn't your fault!"
"Look, Su-" I pushed him away from me with all the power that I had, and kept away from him, so he couldn't grab my arm again.
"Why don't you just find your precious Izzy, and keep away from me?"
And with that, I stormed off towards the castle, and never looked back.
-&-
Why was I so stupid? Why did I always do the wrong thing, no matter how hard I tried not to? Why the hell did I kiss back?
And why did I enjoy it so much?
Or was it that I hadn't felt so… close to somebody in such a long time, that I wanted – or needed – to be touched? Sure, I had kissed Jesse, but that was… different.
Wasn't it?
I was confused. So really, Paul had just made matters a lot worse. AGAIN.
There seemed to be two sides to everything. I wanted to leave, but I didn't want to be replaced. I wanted to be left alone, but I didn't want to be chucked away. I didn't want Paul to take Izzy, but I also wanted him to have her so he would stay away from me.
And out of all the options, none of them seemed… right. I didn't want to stay. I didn't want to go. I didn't want Paul to have Izzy, but I did. I just couldn't figure something out that seemed fine. Well, none that Paul would agree to, anyway. And at the end of the day, I wouldn't be able to do anything unless Paul let me. Because I was his little 'possession'.
Maybe I could just go and break that blood necklace myself, it would make things a lot-
Wait a second. What is that?
To one side of the valley, not too far away from me, was a little wooded area. Now usually, that wouldn't bother me – that wood had been there as long as I could remember. But the clearing, however, had not.
And neither had the small log cabin in the middle of it.
When had that got there? I mean, sure, I hadn't been to the valley for a while, but it hadn't been longer than a week. Had I just not noticed it? Surely not. A house can't just appear, without even a little bit of noticing.
I stood up, and made my way over. Was this safe? For all I knew, a bunch of blood-sucking demons could live inside. Not that there were any blood-sucking demons in existence, at least to my knowledge. Although it wouldn't exactly surprise me.
I got to the gate, which was only waist height, and led into the garden. I paused. Looking at the cabin, it seemed okay. There were two small windows either side of a wooden door, and there were various wind chimes and flowerpots in the small garden. A path curved round the assorted plants, and eventually ended up at the front door. It looked like something out of a fairytale.
I just couldn't decide whether it was Cinderella or Hanzel and Gretel.
Taking my chances, I opened the gate and walked down the path and towards the front door. Why was I doing this again? I didn't need to knock on the door, I was just curious as to what it looked like. And now I had seen it. So why did I have to get closer?
Something about this house – its mysterious appearance, and the wind chimes and other little ornaments – seemed to spark something in me. I wanted to get closer; I wanted to know more.
I knocked the door. Someone moved inside, but no one came to the door. They probably wanted to be left alone, I told myself. Well, no harm in that. I'd prefer that to being attacked by evil demons any day.
Turning back on myself, I went back to the gate. Then I heard a squeak. I looked back, to find that the door had opened. And yet no one was there.
Oh, well, this isn't weird.
Deciding it wouldn't be too bad if I went in, I walked back to the house and went inside.
To find a room full of chairs.
No, seriously, FULL of CHAIRS. Just one room. With a lot of chairs. It was bizarre. There were tiny ones, large ones, padded ones, decorated ones, ones with arms, ones without, ones with three legs – every single style of chair you could think of was in that room. And only one was taken – by a frail old lady, with huge glasses, and grey wiry hair tied back in a bun.
"Hello."
I smiled nervously. This was so surreal. I really needed to get out, before she turned into something evil and tried to kill me. Maybe put me in a fire, or something.
"Er, hi. Nice to see you. I'll be going now." I waved, and walked backwards, towards the door.
"You were wondering how this cottage came about?"
Whoa there! She knew what I was thinking? Who IS this lady? She could earn-
"A lot of people have come asking me that. I also have cookies. Would you like one?" She took a plate of cookies from beside her, and offered them to me.
"You know what, I've just had lunch-" and I really don't want to eat your poisonous cookies, "- and I shouldn't really hang around, it looks like it's going to rain, and I-"
"Of course not. Why would it rain when we're not sad?"
Okay. This lady was CRAZY.I was seriously starting to worry about her mental disposition. And mine.
"Now, I want to play a game," WHAT?! "Don't look so worried, my dear, all you have to do is choose a chair."
"Sorry?" Choose a chair? Choose a freaking CHAIR? LOOK AT THIS PLACE!
"Choose a chair, sit on it, and I'll picture what your life is like. Like looking into a crystal ball, without the crystal ball."
Picture what my life is like? What, did she want nightmares? Deciding that there was no harm, and that she was just some old lady wanting company, I looked for a chair. Well, there was no way I was going to sit near her, so I chose one reasonably far away – not too far so that it was noticeable, but not too close so she may touch me. It had a few modest decorations on the arms and back, and was made of solid oak. Or what I presumed to be oak, as I wasn't really a wood person.
"Ahh", she said, "Not quite what I was expecting." Her eyes focused on the chair, and her head tilted to one side in concentration. "You're strong… protective, of others and yourself. You shy away from company, you feel… lonely…" Her eyes closed, and her mouth opened a little bit. It was as if she was reading a story of my life. "You're incredibly powerful… more so than you know. Some people see that, though. They see what you can do, and they're attracted to it. You're psyche is strong, but it's being broken down. You don't know what to do, your future is unclear, but you're still going. Because you know that that's all you have left - your own motivation.
"You're so vulnerable. You can't reach your potential, because of the demons. The demons that mock you, ruin your life, took away your- Oh. I see, now. It's clear. Love, pure love, was with you, but left. You felt betrayed. Lost. Your life was starting to come back together, but love has come back. You love him, but you deny it, because you know it's wrong. You don't want it to be true, because you're worried as to what might happen. Your life could be damned, or it could flourish – and you're too scared to find out which one-"
"Stop." I didn't want to hear any more, because I knew what she was going to lead to. She was going to tell me how to live my life – and I didn't want some old hag telling me to fight for love, or some shit like that.
She opened her eyes and smiled kindly. She understood. "Be careful, my dear. Bad times are coming, you need to keep strong. At least until then." She waved, "Goodbye, dear. And don't be too hard on him – he's had a hard time, too."
"Yeah, bye. And, er… Thanks, I guess." I walked out of that house and garden as fast as I could, and ran the rest of the way.
Please review. If I don't get reviews, I probably won't update again for another… three months.