G.G. vs. Axel

Mari let out a sigh of utter bliss as she snuggled deep in the folds of her fuzzy, warm blanket. She had spent the last two hours sprawled out on her new leather couch, watching her favorite Netflix show on her new laptop and trying to become as much like a vegetable as she could.

She gazed around fondly at all the other new things around her. There was a new beautiful oak desk to the left of her. On it was the latest, most expensive computer, with a printer that she could find. By the computer was several of the loveliest bouquets of roses, as well as many gifts and cards.

These were not the only new things she had acquired in one short week. Her room at Scrooge's mansion had gone from the maid quarters to the best guest room in the place. In her room was a brand new four poster bed and several other new pieces of furniture, including a new TV.

She really should be at home with her injury instead of the office of Date's "R" Us. But circumstance made it necessary for her to be here. It didn't really matter because she was very comfortably suited here at the office, all she needed was her breakfast.

There came a knock on the door and Mari pause the video she was watching on her laptop and put it on the table next to her.

"Come in, Aerith," she said.

Mari, I brought you breakfast. Scrooge called me this morning and said...," she paused at the door and gazed around the room with eyes wide as cup saucers.

" What is all this?" she asked, casting her glance around the room. " Since when did this place look like a furnished apartment? Is this really Dates 'R' Us?"

" I hardly recognize it myself," said Mari." These are all gifts from that darling duck Scrooge."

"Scrooge ?" said Aerith, gazing at her in amazement. " He did all this for just because you broke your leg? I knew deep down Scrooge was a really good person."

"Oh, knock it off with the hearts and flowers, Aerith," said Mari." Scrooge 'gave' me all this because I threaten to sue him."

"You might sue Scrooge?"

"Why not? I was injured on his property, wasn't I? That ice patch shouldn't have been left there for me to fall on it, right. I think I have very good grounds for a case."

"But you know better then I do that Scrooge has some of the top lawyers in Hallow Bastion working for him. I can't even guess how many time he has to be sued by customers of Dates 'R' Us."

"Yes, that is usually true," said Mari, with a smirk on her face." But by some stroke of luck, all of his lawyers decided to go on vacation at the same time and Scrooge has been unable to get a hold of any of them."

" And Scrooge gave you all this new stuff as some sort of settlement?" asked Aerith.

" The word you're looking for is a bribe," said Mari. " But that not the only benefit I received from this whole deal. Hand me that bell on the table."

"This?" asked Aerith, handing her the small golden bell.

Mari took the handle of the bell between her thumb and her forefinger and moved her hand ever so lightly, sending out a light peal of ringing fro the bell throughout the room. In response to the sound, there was a crash in the back room of the office and Scrooge came running into the room.

Aerith could not believe her eyes when Scrooge walked into the room. He was wearing a maid costume, complete with cap and a frilly apron.

"You rang," said Scrooge.

"Scrooge what on earth are you wearing?" asked Aerith.

"I picked it out for him," said Mari. "Doesn't he look cute?"

"Mari, you're not serious about having him wear that," she said.

"I like it,"said Scrooge eagerly." I like anything that Mari likes. Whatever she says goes."

"I don't believe this," said Aerith.

"Aerith will be joining me for breakfast,"said Mari." I would like you to take the food she brought to the makeshift kitchen we set up in the backroom. Then bring her a chair, the proper table setting, and some eating utensils. When you are done you may serve us breakfast."

"Right away," said Scrooge, bowing deeply."If there is anything else you desire please inform me anytime and I will be happy to obey."

"I feel like I am in the middle of an old Twilight Zone episode," said Aerith.

"Remember that episode where the whole town was controlled by the desire of one little boy?" asked Mari.

"Yeah?"

"Muahahaha,"laughed Mari.

" Hello, is anyone there?" a voice came from the front of the office.

"Go away there is no one here," shouted Mari.

"Don't give me that," said Axel, as he entered the room." I just heard Scrooge give out his signature laugh."

"That was Mari,actually," said Aerith.

"Really," said Axel." She's been spending too much time with Scrooge."

"Won't you join us for breakfast, Axel?" asked Aerith.

"Aerith!" shouted Mari."Don't ask him to breakfast!"

"Don't worry, Mari," said Aerith."I brought plenty of food."

"That's not the problem here, Aerith,"grumbled Mari.

Aerith was one of the few girls in town who didn't mind Axel. This was chiefly because He had never sexually harassed her like he did to every other female in town. This was not an act of restraint on Axel's part but was because of a conversation with Cloud, who threaten to disembowel Axel slowly if he so much as leer in the direction of either Aerith or Tifa.

Naturally because neither Cloud nor Axel had ever told anyone about this conversation, Aerith and Tifa had never been educated on his true character the way that Mari and many of the other girls in town had.

"Wow, this place sure looks different," said Axel. "Where did all this new stuff come from?"

"Scrooge bought all these things for Mari," said Aerith, as she poured Axel some coffee.

" I see," said Axel. " You live with Scrooge don't you?

" Yes," said Mari. "So?"

Giving the boss a little extra on side sure pays off, doesn't it? Wish I was rich."

"I'm not sure I understand," said Aerith.

"But I do," yelled Mari," and if I could get up I would pour this pot of coffee right in your lap."

"Scrooge has been giving her all these things because she broke her leg in front of the office," said Aerith.

"Mari you broke your leg,?" asked Axel. " Why didn't you tell me?"

" Because I only tell people I like about my life, not people who I hate with every fiber of my being."

" But I just want to help out," said Axel, trying to look sincere. " I know it must be hard to bathe with a broken leg. How about I give you a dry bath right now?"

"Oh, Axel you're such a kidder," laughed Aerith.

"He's such a pervert," scowled Mari.

"Aerith is the only one who understands me,"' said Axel.

" If she really understood you, then Cloud would be here holding your guts in his hand," said Mari.

" I don't understand half the conversation that's going on here," said Aerith.

"Trust me it's better that way," said Mari. "Oh, and Aerith don't forget to sign my cast before you leave. I have a pen right here."

Mari handed a permanent marker to Aerith, who put down her coffee and signed the cast right away. She had such a cute signature with a flower in place of the dot in the "i".

"Now it's my turn," said Axel,grabbing the pen away from Aerith.

"No, I don't want you to sign my cast," said Mari." You'll only... Axel, my cast does not go up that high!"

"Are you sure?"

"That does it," shouted Mari. " Scrooge, get in here!"

" I'm coming, Mari," said Scrooge, as he rushed into the room. "What the matter? Is something wrong?"

"I want you to throw Axel out, right now!" shouted Mari.

"Oh, come on Mari," said Axel. " I am one of Scrooge's favorite customers. There is no way he would ask me to leave."

"Axel, let's go outside," said Scrooge.

"What? You are letting your girlfriend throw me out," said Axel. " I thought our friendship meant more then that Scrooge."

"He is not my boyfriend!" shouted Mari.

"Unless she wants me to be," said Scrooge. "Because anything she says goes."

"She said she wanted to be my girlfriend," said Axel.

"I did not," said Mari. " But I did say I want him out and I meant it or doI have to call my lawyer."

" He's going outside, he's going outside," said Scrooge. " Come on Axel, I have something I want to talk to you about."

"I guess I better be going too," said Aerith. " Just have Scrooge call me if he wants me to pick you up some lunch later."

Mari waved goodbye to Aerith and then snuggle back into the couch to finish her breakfast and start her next four hours of Netflix binge watching.

G.G. was busy having lunch when she received a text from Dates 'R' Us. She was surprised to hear from them because she had put in date request so long ago that she had forgotten all about it. In fact, she was secretly hoping that maybe they would forget all about it, as well.

Dates "R" Us had become somewhat of a legend to the citizens of Hallow Bastion. There were all sorts of rumors and mysteries surrounding the place and no one seemed to know the real story about what went on in there.

She had heard a rumor about the people who went on their blind dates had all sorts of weird things happen to them. Some of them had hallucinations about aliens and being sucked into computers. She had even heard that many of people who participated in the dates had ended up in the hospital.

She was sure that many of these were just urban legends. However, she could not deny that everyone, including herself, got an odd feeling whenever they walked past the building.

She had been foolish to accept the dare her friends had presented her with about getting a blind date from Dates "R" Us. But she had a weakness when it came to a dare and she just could never seem to resist them.

So she went up to the establishment and met the famed Scrooge McDuck who owned the dating service. He seemed like the kind old guy, not the money grubbing monster with his hand in every business in the town, like she had heard.

The only real strange thing about the place was the dating form she had to fill out. She was surprised to find that questions weren't about her hobbies or what she like to do on dates. Instead, the asked her if she had a criminal background, if she was related to anyone in the mafia, and what were her views on getting revenge on the ones who had wronged her.

After she had filled out the form, she had paid Scrooge to set up the date and promptly forgot all about it until she had received the text that morning. She glanced over the text and then slid her finger slowly down the screen until she came to the picture of her date and information about him.

His name was Axel or Lea , whichever she preferred to call him. He was about her age and he had no trouble with the law or had been ban from places by the local fire department.

She read over that line again several times and decided that it was Axel's idea of a joke and honestly it was pretty funny when she thought about it. He must have a good sense of humor which is really desirable, especially on a blind date.

She looked at his picture again and found him to be handsome. He definitely stood out with his spiked flaming red hair but G.G. did find it off-putting at all. She liked guys who tried to look different and expressed themselves through how they dressed or act.

G.G. decided she would keep the date so she texted back to Scrooge for more information on where and when the date would be taking place.

He wrote back and told her she was to meet her date in front of the office's of Dates "R" Us tomorrow evening and he would tell her all about where they would be going.

She texted him back asking why she had to wait until tomorrow to find out where they going. If he told her now she would know how to dress and what to bring along with her.

He texted back that the computers were down at the moment so they wouldn't be able to get that information until tomorrow.

G.G. shrugged her shoulders and wrote back that she would be there tomorrow at seven. She supposed they would just go somewhere casual so she would just dress like she always did when she went out on the town.

She laughed silently to herself when she thought of big fuss her friends had made about Dates "R" Us. It was just a plain, ordinary business and she was just going on a typical blind date. There was nothing strange or mysterious about that.

G.G. arrived at Dates "R" Us about ten minutes before seven. She waited for twenty minutes outside the office, but still no one arrived. Finally, she got tired of waiting out in the cold and decide to try to see if she could wait inside the office.

She tried the handle on the door and was a surprise to find it unlocked. She walked into the office and found the room was more like a furnished apartment than a workspace. There was a woman lying on the couch eating ice cream and offering advice to characters who were in a TV episode she was watching on her laptop.

" Hello," G.G. said, feeling awkward. " Do you know where Scrooge is? I was supposed to meet my date outside but it is getting kind of cold. May I stay in here until he comes?"

" Sure, come on in," said Mari, putting her laptop on the table. " I could use some company. Sit right down on that chair and we can talk. My name is Mari, by the way. I usually work here but I'm on sick leave with a broken leg."

"Thank you," said G.G., sitting beside her. " When did you break your leg?"

"Over a week ago," she said.

"And you're still on sick leave," said G.G. " Isn't that a little unusual?"

"Not when you threaten the boss with a lawsuit," said Mari.

" Is Scrooge your boss," asked G.G. " Are all the rumors about him true?"

"Of course not," said Mari.

"Really?" said G.G., looking relieved.

"They're much worse. The public doesn't know half of the despicable things that duck is involved with."

"But he seemed so nice when I met him."

" Never assume you can tell a person by how he presents himself to others," said Mari. " But you don't have to worry about him right now. He's got too many things on his mind right now to concentrate on any villainy."

"Do you know where he is right now?" asked G.G. " He was supposed to tell me where I was going on my date."

"You mean he was supposed to meet you and he forgot?" said Mari.

"Yeah."

"Scrooge gets in here!" shouted Mari.

"What is it?" said Scrooge, rushing into the room.

"Is he wearing a maid's outfit?" asked G.G.

"I was trying on Halloween costumes,' said Scrooge.

"In March?" asked G.G.

"Why didn't you meet up with her outside the office?" asked Mari.

"Is it seven already?" asked Scrooge.

"It's almost 7:30," said Mari.

"I'm so sorry G.G.," said Scrooge. "I was so busy here and I lost track of time."

"That's okay,' she said. " Is my date here?"

"No, he waiting for you..."

"Scrooge," a voice interrupted him," I am tired of waiting at the gummy station. Can I wait here?"

"Axel, I told you not to come here," said Scrooge, rushing to the door to keep him out.

"Are you Axel?" asked G.G." The guy I suppose to go on this blind date with?"

"G.G.!" said Axel, rushing towards her. " I know we are going to have an awesome date together!"

"Your date is Axel!" shouted Mari. " Scrooge are you crazy?"

"Mari are you still here?" said Axel. " I thought you would be back at your den of love with your new boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend!" shouted Mari.

"Do you two know each other?" asked G.G.

"Don't get jealous or anything," said Axel. "But Mari is my ex-girlfriend!."

"What!" shouted Mari.

"Now Mari,' said Axel. " You know we agreed to see other people. Don't get upset just because I have decided to move on."

"You are insane!" shouted Mari.

"This violent temper of hers is why we broke up," said Axel. "She had me thrown out of here earlier this morning."

"Look I don't want to cause any trouble," said G.G.

"You don't want to miss out on a date with me," said Axel. " It will be one of the best nights of your life and I'm great in the sack, just ask Mari."

"The only time you'd be good in the sack is if it was filled with cement and thrown in the river," said Mari, glaring death at him.

"I did appreciate her little joke when we were dating, but she has to learn that when it's over it's over."

"It's a good thing that I am in a cast or I'd run over and strangle you right now," said Mari.

"Don't threaten my date," said Axel.

"I wasn't threatening her!"

"I heard you," said Axel. "Come on G.G. Let's leave her now to ponder her poor decision making ."

"Get out," Mari shouted, throwing a vase with half a dozen roses in his direction.

"Wow," said G.G. " She really didn't want you to go out with me."

"That should serve as a warning to you G.G.," said Axel. " Once you get a taste of me, I'm very hard to give up."

An hour later the got off from the gummy shuttle both of them looking a bit unnerved. It seemed that they had gotten on board during the Song of the South hour.

When they got off the shuttle they knew that they had ridden it the shuttle but neither of them could remember anything about it. It was as if the whole thing never happened.

"Remind me to check the gummy schedule before we ride home," said Axel. " I don't like it when things get weird at I have nothing to do with it."

"By the way," said G.G. " Where are we anyway?"

"This is Prankster Paradise," said Axel. " It has one of the largest arcades in all worlds."

"I do like arcades, but why have I never heard of this place before," said G.G.

"Neither had I to be honest with you," said Axel," but Scrooge recommended it to me. Seems he has a lot of stock in this place."

"If the rumors I hear about Scrooge are right," said G.G., " he is part owner in thousands of business in all these different worlds."

"You shouldn't believe rumors," said Axel." You should hear the rumors they say about me."

"For instance," said G.G.,looking at him suspiciously.

"Nothing in particular," said Axel, quickly changing the subject." Let's go get our tickets."

They walked down a brightly lit path until they came to a large ticket booth. There at the booth stood a rather large elderly man with white hair framing his bright red face. He was ordinary enough except for a pair of large haunting eyes.

"How may I help you?" he asked.

"Is this the arcade Prankster Paradise?" asked Axel " It looks more like a theme park than an arcade."

" This place brings pleasures of all kinds to young men everywhere," said the man.

"I think I'm going to like this place," said Axel, a huge smile on face." How much are the tickets?"

"For you nothing," said the man," only the young lady is the usual cost. "

"That is the most sexist thing I have ever heard in my life,"said G.G.

"I have no use for girls," said the man. " But the young men pay me back later."

"Sorry, but I don't go in for that kind of stuff," said Axel." Especially with an old fart like you. So you just give us two tickets and will hear no more about it."

"Very well," said the man. "Enjoy your time. Muahahahahahaha."

"What was with that laugh?" asked G.G.

"He must have been hanging around Mari," said Axel. " I hope no one else tries to pick me up on this date. I mean I'm so good looking I'm afraid you start to feel bad if everyone tried to steal me from you."

"I'll take my chances," said G.G. " Where do we go to get to the arcade?"

"Let's ask this little boy here," said Axel. " Excuse me small waif but which path do we take to go to the Prankster Paradise Arcade?"

"Get out off my way, old man," shouted the boy. " I don't want to waste any time on listening to you talk."

"What a rude kid," said G.G.

"But I know how to turn him into a sweet little boy," said Axel.

"How?"

"I'll just set him on fire and not give him any water until he apologizes."

"I hope you are kidding."

" How about if I just singe his hair a little," said Axel.

"Absolutely not," said G.G. "Tell me again what the rumors about you are."

"Hey, look there's the Arcade," said Axel, avoiding her question, "Let's hurry."

They walked up to a very large tent that was purple and blue like the rest of the park, the only difference being that it had a sign saying "Arcade" in the front of it.

Once they step foot inside the tent, the notice it seemed to be three or four times larger than it appeared outside. It was full of the loud noisy machines and even louder noisier little boys running around screaming and acting like maniacs. So pretty much it was a typical arcade, but there was two or three things that seemed a little off.

"Have you notice that none of the games have coin slots," said G.G." Does the price of the ticket cover the cost of all these games?"

"And why do they have so many Donkey Kong games?"asked Axel.

"Don't stay here any longer," said a voice. "Leave this place at once."

"Did you hear that voice," said G.G. "I wonder what game it is coming from?"

"I'm the one who spoke to you,"said the voice. "I'm down here."

They both looked down and saw a small green cricket wearing a complete outfit including a waistcoat and top hat.

"Don't go in there," he said." Leave this place before something unspeakably horrible happens."

"Oh, great. Just what we need," said Axel. "A teeny, tiny prophet of doom."

" I am not," said the cricket. " I'm Jiminy and I am just trying to help."

" I've already paid money for this and we are not going home," said Axel.

"Fine go ahead," said Jiminy. " At least, I know nothing will happen to the girl."

"You know in the real Pinocchio they killed Jiminy cricket," said Axel.

" That's just malicious political propaganda," said Jiminy, hopping away.

"That wasn't very nice," said G.G.

"Forget the bug," said Axel. "Let's go have some fun."

Axel and G.G. went back into the tent and began to play the arcade games. They were quite different from any game G.G. had played before. Many of them had to do with gambling, smoking, getting drunk, and vandalizing. G.G. found the one where the goal to put all parents in cages to be a little creepy.

Hours began to slip by and G.G. began to notice the room slowly became quieter and quieter. She looked all around the tent and saw that she and Axel were the only ones left in the room.

"Axel," shouted G.G.

"What?" said Axel, who was busy playing a game where you paint a mustache on famous works of art.

"Look around you," she said." There is no one else here!"

"And you know why there is no one else here."

"Jiminy, did you come back," said Axel. " Maybe I should squish you."

"I'll tell you why no thee's one here," said Jiminy, ignoring Axel comments. " They have all been turned into donkeys and now it's your turn."

Axel laughed at the cricket, but suddenly he stopped and his body went ridged. His face became pale, his eyes widen in some sort of unspeakable fright. He grabbed at his throat before falling to the ground and began to shake violently.

"What's happening to him?' shouted G.G.

"His changing into what all boys here change into him..."

Suddenly Axel stopped shaking and rose up before them.

"He's ... exactly the same," said G.G. " Nothing happened."

" I should have known," said Jiminy. " I guess he can't change when he's already a jackass."

FYI Jiminy really did die and become a ghost in the real Pinocchio. It's a messed up book.