Logan sat with Gambit on the roof as the sun began to set. He smoked his cigar while Remy puffed on a long overdue cigarette. They were both silent. Remy was still upset that his room had been given away and most of his possessions donated. Thankfully Logan kept Remy's bike for the months he was gone, a reminder of the companion he had. Logan shifted slightly and looked at Remy's profile. As a part of the team why hadn't any of the X-Men gone back for him? Why hadn't he gone back for him? It was just over a month later when Wolverine learned about Gambit's death, too late to go searching for his friend. He had just assumed someone had already told his family, they were all too surprised to question Rogue's story. Anyone's story. All Logan wanted to do was forget that one of his close friends had died.

Gambit scanned the mansion grounds and took a deep drag from the cigarette. Countless question cycled through his head. Questions about his powers, questions about his future. Would he need to wear the collar for the rest of his life? How would he ever be free from Sinister? Why had the X-Men betrayed him over and over again? He knew he could not leave the mansion in fear of Sinister reclaiming him, but he couldn't stand to stay with the very people who put him into this horrible situation.

"Look, Kid…" Logan began awkwardly, taking a few moments to select his words. What could he possibly say to Remy LeBeau? How could the tension in his chest be relieved Gambit looked at him sideways and inhaled from his cigarette again, waiting for the man next to him to continue.

There was a long pause, "Oui?" Gambit asked after a moment.

"If you need something, or need to talk, you let me know. We can go down to the bar and have a beer. How long has it been since you've had an ice cold one?" Logan said lamely, man he wasn't good at this stuff.

Gambit shook his head and looked away, "That's ok homme."

"Its not good, ya know, to keep all that hurt inside. Sometimes it helps to talk about it."

"Sometimes it doesn't."

"Don't you have any questions? Or maybe-"

"Ok- lets talk about it." Gambit said, exasperated. "Don't give me any bullshit- I know that isn't your style. I just want the straight truth, no sugar coating it, oui?" Gambit locked eyes with Logan, making sure he would only speak the truth. "Why didn't you come and find me, Logan?"

"I was away from the mansion for over a month. When I came home I leaned about…" He trailed off.

"What did they say? What did the X-Men tell you about me?"

"They said…" Logan took a puff, "Look Gumbo…"

"No bullshit Logan, just the facts. What did they say about me?" Remy's eyes spat fire.

"They said that you had been involved in the massacre, that you assembled and led the marauders into the tunnels. You had betrayed us all."

"And about my death?"

"You died when the Arctic base collapsed. Couldn't search for your body because it caved into the ice."

"Who said that?" Logan hesitated, "Who?" Gambit demanded. He already knew the answer. He almost didn't 'want to believe it, such a horrible truth. But he needed to hear it from Wolverine. "Who?"

"Rogue did."

"Why didn't anyone tell my pere?"

"With O:ZT we were going crazy trying to get the mansion supplies back up, Scott had barely made it home alive, same with Xavier. Bishop was still somewhere in space and Excalibur had come to stay with us after the bulk of the team broke up. With all the confusion we over looked it." Gambit gave the man a hard stare. Logan sighed, "We were all so hurt by the betrayal. You had lived with us for years, been a part of the team. I guess a lot of us didn't go out of the way to think about it."

"Can't betray what you weren't a part of." Remy said to his one time friend. They were quiet again. Remy started another cigarette with a lighter, he hadn't had to use one ever since his powers kicked in.

"What will you do now, Remy?" Logan heard someone come up behind them, Gambit must have also because he looked past the Canadian and into a pair of emerald green eyes. The setting sun shone against her face giving her a beautiful glow. She stood awkwardly, looking only at her one time lover.

"Remy…?" Her soft voice floated through the air. "Can we talk?" Gambit snuffed the cigarette and walked past her.

"Remy- please?" She cried out after him and touched his arm. He grabbed her hand and swiftly twisted it behind her back, then shoved her hard into Logan's arms.

"I have nothing to say to you, nor do I want to hear anything you have to say." He continued till he reached the door to the stairwell. There Rogue called his name once more.

"Please, Remy. I feel horrible." She cried out. "I am so sorry. Its like nothing I can do or say will-"

"Ever make it okay? Yeah, cause guess what- it wont. There is no words or actions from you that will make it alright again." He took a step forward then on second thought turned back to her, "Taste of your own medicine I guess, karma. I felt all that guilt, all that pain, anguish, suffering, self-loathing for years from those poor souls. Now its your turn to feel it. Lucky you, its only me you feel guilty about."

He walked down the stairs, Rogue behind him, calling his name. "Remy, please! Just wait-" She still pursued him, not leaving him alone even after Wolverine told her to give it a rest. They had reached the lower floor. He didn't know where he was walking to, as long as it was away from her.

He gritted his teeth and turned to face her, the anger on his face caused her to step back. "You know what the worst part is, Rogue?" He spat out at her. They were drawing an audience. Logan was behind the woman but now multiple X-Men and Excalibur members filtered into the common area, making sure things did not get out of hand. Some wanted to help the tormented on again off again couple, some just wanted to help Gambit. "The worst part is that I don't think you would have ever told. You would have just gone along with the story that out of the goodness of your heart you tried to save the murdering piece of shit that I am, and you just couldn't." He composed himself knowing that he was letting his anger get the best of him. "I don't think you ever had the intention to tell them that you were executioner in my trial."

"You have to understand that your own thoughts were in my mind. I wanted to fight it but your own anger and self hatred made me leave you." Rogue truly had never felt so bad about anything in her life. She knew that she had been wrong, she should have done so many things differently. Her heart broke as she looked at the man in front of her, the once proud, strong, playful man had been replaced my a defeated, paranoid man. Rogue closed her eyes for a brief moment , remembering the anger and hatred she felt after she absorbed Remy, and how those shameful feelings slowly turned into her own.

Remy considered her words for a short moments then stated, "Funny how my thoughts never made me commit suicide." He shook his head. "You are not who I thought you were." Gambit glanced around the room at the people gathered, his one time family.

"I went and I searched for you." She said to him in a gentle voice.

"Too little too late."

"Please, Remy. If you ever loved me, you would look into your heart and forgive me." The room became cold and the air was thick with the shock of Rogue's statement. Logan shook his head, Jean covered her open mouth, and Bobby looked at Rogue and muttered something that sounded like, "You've got to be kidding…"

"If I ever loved you?" Remy repeated the words in disbelief. Rogue realized that she had said the wrong thing and tried to cover her tracks but it was too late. "If I ever loved you?" Gambit shouted, pure malice pouring from his lips. "The only reason you are hounding me for forgiveness is because now the X-Men and the Professor are looking at you for what you really are. Murderer."

Rogue shook her head but her eyes wandered to her teammates, searching their faces for a favorable response. She did not find one.

"Get the fuck out of my face before you really make me mad." Gambit clenched his fists, the collar on his neck the only thing keeping his powers from leveling the mansion.

Rogue was about to open her mouth when the Professor stepped in. "I think that is enough for now. It would be best if you allow Remy to cool down, that will also give you and the rest of us time to gather our thoughts." She nodded silently at the man the left the room without another word. "Remy I have prepared the room below for you."

"The dampening room?" He asked the professor. The room allowed the small space to be a place where mutant powers were inaccessible. Deep in the lower levels of the mansion it was usually used for dangerous prisoners. Most of the time only Xavier had any access to that level.

"Yes. That is the safest place for you. Also we can manipulate the strength of the power neutralizer allowing you to become accustomed to your increased mutation." Xavier spoke calmly, hoping Remy wouldn't take a defensive stance on the room used mostly as a prison cell. "May I accompany you, Gambit?"

"Oui." Gambit said to the man. Scott also followed so he could safely remove the collar from Gambit. Also Scott was the first X-Man to be able to affectively communicate with Gambit. Once they were in the elevator Xavier opened the conversation.

"I am glad you decided to stay here, Remy, until your powers are under control once more."

"Not that I really had a choice, prof." He said to the man. Gambit was angry at everything, but now he was too damn tired to fight back. He leaned his back against the elevator wall and closed his eyes. Both men allowed him the quiet as the reached the lowest level. They walked together in silence and gave time to Gambit to evaluate the cell. Usually bare it now had a bed, lamp, night stand and a small collection of books. The professor had opened up the door to the adjacent bathroom, toilet and shower included. And someone had thought to bring down a mini fridge that contained snacks and a few bottles of water.

"Remy, I know that there isn't anything I can say to make this any better." Gambit looked at the professor as Scott unlatched the collar. "I have let you down." Gambit took a breath as the heavy metal left his neck, rolling his head from shoulder to shoulder. "I want to apologized for what happened. For what we didn't do for you, should have done, out of the respect of the time you were part of the team."

Gambit nodded to the man, a silent acknowledgement of the apology. He walked to the bed and sat down on it. He hadn't had time to shower or wash up at all, and Cecilia said he couldn't wash his hair for at least 24 hours. Right now, however, a shower was the farthest thing from Gambit's mind.

"Well, Remy, we will let you rest. If you need anything you can call us from the intercom. Have a good evening." Scott and Xavier left Remy to rest in the silent room.

xxx

Rogue looked out the window, the dark sky mirroring her dark thoughts. She recalled the anger she felt at Erik the Red for forcing her to kiss Remy. She was furious at herself, at Erik and Remy. Mostly now she was angry at her own decisions. She really did mean it when she told Gambit that the love they shared was all they needed, but at the first true test of the love she bolted. Sighing Rogue went to the closet and started to search for a well hidden box. As she opened the cover the first thing she saw was a picture of the two of them together. Happy. A way they would not be ever again. She knew that now.

After digging through the contents of the box she pulled out a neatly folded letter she had written months ago. She unfolded the paper and read the words.

Dear X-Men,

I have done the most horrific thing anyone could ever imagine. I have betrayed us in every possible way, and even now I am too scared to take responsibility for my actions. I do not think that you will ever forgive me for what I have done, I don't think anyone could. I have murdered Remy LeBeau.

After we had the trail for Remy in Antarctica I was able to pull him from the citadel before it collapsed. We flew up together to the snow but instead of bringing him home I left him there. I left him kneeling there in the snow. I flew away from him, banishing him from a house that I had no authority over, from the family he had been accepted into. The family that may have been strong enough to do the one thing I could not, forgive him. I have searched for him countless times but I cannot find the city or Remy anywhere.

I didn't want to do that horrible action, but after I absorbed his thoughts in the trial all I could feel was his own self-hatred. The horrible feeling of guilt overwhelmed me and I dropped him, feeling some kind of atonement for his actions. I have betrayed us in the worst way, not only had I left a member of our own team to face a certain death I lied to you all about it. I have plunged a knife into the back of the one man I have ever loved and I twisted it by not accepting any punishment for what I had done.

When you find this letter I will already be gone. I will not try to contact you, I will not return. I am so sorry. I know that I cannot do anything to make it right once more. I have tarnished the name of the X-Men. As a team we accept anyone who believes in Charles's dream of peace between all people. I could not even make peace within our own home. I will not ask for forgiveness because I know it can never be given.

Rogue looked at her signature at the bottom on the page, tears were falling from her eyes. She had at one point tried to tell them about Remy, but she was too scared. She was scared of the looks on their faces as they found out the horrible truth. Rogue couldn't even tell them in the letter and leave, she didn't want them to hate her forever. She now understood perfectly why Remy never told them about his past.

xxx

Remy looked from the bayou to his father standing on his left side. His red eyes meeting the gentle worn eyes of the man who took him from the streets. He spoke to the him in a calm tone, using the Cajun Creole he learned as a child. They laughed together at a joke then fell into a comfortable silence, faint smiles still on their features. He loved the smells of his backyard, and the sounds of the animals running around. A bird called over head and swooped into a tree. The warm sun shone on his face and he closed his eyes, savoring the feeling as one would an expensive glass of wine.

"Toutswit." His father told him.

"Oui." Remy agreed. Maybe his papa had said something about dinner. The sun started to fade away and when he opened his eyes it was almost dark. Remy scanned the area once more, had they walked away from the grounds? "Ki ca di?" He asked his father but Jean-Luc had left him. He called out once, twice. Where could he have gone?

"Toutswit." Jean-Luc's voice echoed around the swamp. Remy called out again. He began walking to the house. Perhaps his father had called him from the porch as he did when Remy wandered too far from the house.

"Ca y na? Pere?" Remy yelled as the trees and the bayou seemed to stretch on for miles. Remy felt fear in the pit of his stomach as he picked up his pace. Looking back and forth he started running, yelling for his father the same way a child would. "Pere?" He yelled as he stumbled over a stump.

"Oui?" Jean-Luc looked at Remy, confused. He opened his arms with a smile on his face, one of love and laughter. "Laimm Twa, son. Come here."

Remy went to the man, feeling foolish and hugged him. Even as a grown man a hug from a loved one can do wonders for your heart. He felt his chest fill up with affection and reassurance. Remy made a mental note to tell tanti to stop making so many biegnets for his papa, he was beginning to bulk up.

"Toutswit." Remy's face scrunched in confusion, why did he keep saying that?

"Que?" Gambit pulled back from his father, but his shirt was gripped tightly, only allowing him an arm's length distance between the two men. Remy's teeth clenched together so the scream wouldn't escape him. Mr. Sinister stood looking at the young thief, Jean-Luc replaced by the horrible scientist. Remy struggled against the tight grip, but Sinister would not let him go.

"Toutswit." Sinister said through black lips. His burning red eyes glaring a whole into his very mind. His sick smile made Remy start to panic, almost falling completely if not for Sinister's hold.

"Toutswit."

Gambit sat up quickly, looking about the small room in a panic. His breathing was fast and labored. A dream he must have fallen asleep. Gambit hadn't even changed into a pair of pajamas. His mind processed to realistic dream as his body calmed itself from the adrenalin.

Toutswit.

Soon.

Louisiana Creole Key

Toutswit- soon

Ki ca di?- What's going on?

Ca y na?- What's wrong?

Laimm Twa- I love you